• Member Since 12th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

nioniosbbbb


I am Dennis I come from Greece. I am 28 currently and I have finished computer engineering.

Sequels1

  • EFiery Friendship
    Terra Lionmane aspires to become captain of the royal guard. But when the earth pony’s phoenix reaches his time of rebirth Terra realizes that some things go beyond mere dreams, or ambition.
    nioniosbbbb · 3.1k words  ·  28  4 · 465 views
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When an earthquake hits Old Canterlot High, the unicorn mare named Selune Darkeye is among the few students that gets trapped inside. Buried beneath the rubble she encounters an earth pony stallion named Terra Lionmane.

The earthquake however has awakened more than just the fear of survival in Selune. A fear so deep, it goes back to when she was born.

Contest entry for:http://www.fimfiction.net/group/204577/weekly-contests/thread/175855/oc-contest

Despite the cover art there is no actual shipping occuring here. If you want to ship it, be my guest.

Edited by kildeez

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 44 )

I think you put this in the wrong group.... A story like this shouldn't be in the OC tales group

6268144 Yes I was going to remove it soon. Sorry.

6268231

Was just wanting to say before someone said it a little more rudely


Also, it's a nice little story

6268267 Thanks. If you got any useful feedback I welcome it!

Hmmm... will have to give this a looksee later... when I'm not at work...

6268346 Oki doki loki! I hope you enjoy regardless.

Hmm this story does technically meet my OC Contest requirements because of the of how it mentions her past. This story does have great potential. I am curious how a relationship between the two OCs would develop. Maybe Terra could join the guard on a different standing. Hmm it gives much thought for the reader to ponder.

6268437 Terra's story goes on to say that he spent sometime of his life with his uncle Solid Gear from who he learned engineering. He found Fenix, his phoenix ((which the sequel talks about)) and he forged his golden lion-styled armor.

to be honest I haven't thought much about their relationship. It sorta felt weird to me to ship them with characters I created myself because I sorta feel my OC are like "children" of mine so that would be... fictional incest? Dunno.

In any case I will not deny the opportunity for that to happen. In all honesty the editor was kinda ironic about me cockblocking this couple ((1/4 through the story he said "When are those two gonna do the do?" And sarcastically raged when the crew cockblocked them and when I originally had mentioned in the end that Selune considered him a friend)). I'm not the one however to deny shipping fuel ((makes stuff interesting)) and if it serves a purpose story-wise or the couple is fitting enough then I will do it.

There is no current story project that focuses on that. No story "demands" per say for them to be a couple. Plus I wouldn't like to be the one to lock them as a couple and deny someone else to possibly pair them with their OCs.

In any case these two OCs will be used in future fanfics and possibly roleplays so nothing is determined yet.

An earthquake could be pretty serious in Canterlot, given that much of the city projects over an abyss. I'm guessing that the cantilevers supporting that part of that city are built really strong, massively overengineered to prevent a whole neighborhood of two from being thrown down the mountainside.

6270962 Well yea but regardless of that old buildings would still suffer damage.

I mean look at what happened to Athens Menidi.

Besides the photos of the academy in Canterlot from the comics show that it can't be far away from countryside areas since that was were gradution photos were taken.

6281465
Fictional incest is best wincest! Those two totally should have bumped uglies underneath the rubble.

Jokes aside, it was a good story. A little fast-paced in the beginning, it almost felt forced. But in the end, it was worth it. Cool story. I like it.

6282073 Its a little hard to pack so much in a story.

Sure it was a bit much in the intro but I do blame the prequel being written after the sequel.

As for wincest... I might make something just for the lulz. Outside of their story canon.

6282271
Dooo it! Dooo it! Dooo it! :yay::trollestia:

6282360
I don't speak French. :rainbowderp:

6282419 its a song from youtube. Look for the english version.

6285248 Dunno. Ithas this wierd feel to it...

6285248 If I had to point my limb at it I would say it's a dramatic change from what I ussually read. It's a short, compensive story, while I read almost only long multi-chapter stories with manny fillers and a diffrent paceing.

6287138 Diffrent. I feel it as unnatural.

6287193 and thats good or bad? It being Un natural

6287244 It feels only to me that way.

Evryone other won't spot a diffrence. It because I read diffrent stuff all the time.

6287334 Fuck no! I literally hate 90% of Equestria Girl stuff. The rest is Shimmer returing to Equestria stuff...

6287370 e.g. EXAMPLE GIVEN. Eqg=Equestria Girls

6287384 you wanna example? Okay - Secrets of a Royal Guard is a good one. Long, filler-infested and with relatively slow pace.

6287393 ah... Never read that.

6287434 I recommend. Both parts are pretty long but the joke references are common, so it's not a bore.

Nice little read this is. A good way to write a backstory for an original character. Here's my review on it here. (Link)

6289581 gonna read
6288778 alright thanks

Nice beginning, here. I'm intrigued and shall be following this.

6379277 Thanks. The OCs are used in other fics too.

Freaking finally! I finally found the time to read this prequel to one of the most emotionally powerful fics I have read. Here are my first impression:
disenchantedscholar.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/well-done-damn-bloody-well-good-job-it-crowd.gif
As the gif states, i really like this fic. It was very nice and it explained quite a few things that I was wondering from the first one. I really like how Selune and Terra interract with eachother. it was a bit awkward, but not so much to the point it made me groan. This is how you use that scene correctly and I think these two have quite the chemistry. The banter between Shining and Terra was really friendly and it integrated Terra nicely into the show and his delivery felt very natural (unlike some other OCs I have seen around here). Selune reminds me a bit of my own OC, Darkrim. Both her and him have a special design, but ultimately are very natural and appealing to the reader. Not to mention that they both have a semi tragic story and the usage of dark magic is prominent in both characters (sorry if I strayed away a bit but I like to draw these comparisons). The language is superb and the flow of the story is mostly natural. That is, except for one part.

“That means a lot to me, you know? You know when I said I have this fear from early on, I meant before I got my cutie mark—since birth.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pacing up and down the white hallways of Manehatten memorial hospital was a stallion with dark blue coat. The colors of his mane were white and black, just like the buttons of a piano, which were also his cutie mark.

I really got confused at this part, at first. Here's my tip on how to fix this small issue. Use something like:

Selune sighed and began her story...

This would make the reader understand instantly and there would be no confusion. i actually thought I suddenly jumped to another fic, which was a bit jarring. The second time you did this was a bit less jarring, but still... You should always put a sentence before any new segment begins to ease the transition for the reader.

Other than that, the fanfic is adorable! I especially love her talk about Luna, as she really wasn't evil. She was just jelaous, but hey, you know what they say about envy. Anyhow, this was really well done. Keep writing and have a nice evening :raritystarry:

6471197

The banter between Shining and Terra was really friendly and it integrated Terra nicely into the show and his delivery felt very natural (unlike some other OCs I have seen around here).

That was exactly my point. As a college student I don't exactly remember Shining having interest in joining the royal guard. But I remember that usually friends with same interests end up together, so if both of them were interested in joining the royal guard they would meet somehow, somehow be friends. I mean he couldn't just be a nerd and stuff right? :D The imagination might have come from the D&D side of Shining but I just thought that there would be influences to force this, common interests.

Selune reminds me a bit of my own OC, Darkrim. Both her and him have a special design, but ultimately are very natural and appealing to the reader. Not to mention that they both have a semi tragic story and the usage of dark magic is prominent in both characters (sorry if I strayed away a bit but I like to draw these comparisons).

I think I want to know more about that.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” ― Plato

Very well done, shame that this is the only chapter for this story but very well done none the less.

6607894 The stories starring her will not stop just yet. This is just an origin fic made for a contest.

6607909 Ah I see, well feel free to tell me what you think of mine and we can start collaborating for the next part of the challenge when you feel is best.

6607919 Till when must we do it?

6607927 I'll have some free time late this evening about 10-ish. We can start working around then.

6607947 I'll be sleeping soon but we'll see.

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