Chapter 13: This Is Hallow-er Nightmare Night... Kinda.
BrownDog77 comment
Erised the ink-moth comment
As you look at Trixie in shock, she merely replies,
"Hurry! There's no time to explain!" as she finishes stuffing some magic props into a suitcase.
"Uh, just a quick question Trixie. But... how much effort have you actually put into learning this gem-finding spell?" You ask her as she clicks her last suitcase shut. Every time you'd asked her over the past month, she merely brushed off your concerns or gave non-answers (a true politician). Honestly, for a while you've been wondering if she's been doing anything but kicking back and enjoying her royal perks.
She turns to you, looking incredibly offended. "Captain DeWitt! I am incredibly offended that you would suggest that I, Trixianna the first, ruler of Dimondia, and your Queen would shirk her royal duties."
Normally when a member of royalty starts scolding you, you'd be on your belly waiting to beg for forgiveness, but you've known Trixie long enough to separate the boastful showmare side of her, and the mare she really is. You know that when she starts talking in her grandiose terms and trying to appear bigger than she really is, it's only for show, and you're in on the act.
So appropriately, you respond with a single raised brow and a deadpan stare and just like that, the whole charade tumbles in on itself.
"Fine, I'll admit that I haven't devoted every spare moment to learning a gem-finding spell." Trixie says as she deflates back to the mare you know and tolerate. "But I have been trying!" she adds as she springs back up, "I had a few beginners' spell books and a small tome on thaumaturgy with me when I came here. But they only taught the basics; things I've mastered... or at least got good enough to use in my performances, years ago! I thought that with some proper adaptation I could simply teach myself how to cast a gem-finding spell! I didn't work so well." she tells you sadly.
Trixie then walks over to her royal mattress and pulls out a hoofful of gems from under the pillow. "I've tested my experiments by hiding these gems behind pieces of furniture or in boxes, and trying to pinpoint them with my magic, but nothing ever works. Gems just aren't my special talent. My only talent is being a big fraud..."
That strikes a bit a chord with you, being a changeling and all, so you try to reassure her,
“Well for a fraud, your reign has been far better than any of the other rulers."
“But that’s just it. Every major decision or act that has been made over the last month has been from you. You’re the one who has reshaped this kingdom into a better place. You’re the one who set up money makers like Y.U.M. and jobs that don’t entail mining or farming. I, on the other hoof, have still not even figured out that gem finding spell. You’re the leader here Ritz, not me,” she says sadly.
“But, you helped,” you say trying to cheer her up.
“All I did was let you go through with your plans. The only thing I’ve done is ban the 'Child Size' sodas which quite a few of the Dogs complained about,” she pouts.
"Well yeah, it sounds terrible when you say it like that." you say with a bit of a forced lighthearted laugh, "But even if you're not everything you say you are, sometimes that's all anyling needs. I mean, look out there," you say and point out the window, where the Nightmare Night festivities are being prepared. The Diamond Dogs seem a little confused about the pony holiday, but at least they're giving it a good try. "You see, we've done a lot together. I doubt things would be like this if we hadn't shown up and decided to put on the whole 'Queen and Captain' act."
"But this was all you! You're the one that whipped this place into shape, not me. I've done practically nothing but sit here on my royal butt." Trixie laments, her eyes starting to water.
"But that was important!" you counter, "By sitting on your glorious royal butt and letting these dogs see you with their crown on your head, you gave them someling to look towards for guidance. You gave them something to hope for and while you kept their attention, it freed me up to pull the strings from behind the scenes and make everything happen; I'd never get anything done if they were constantly pestering me. It's like they say... every great performer has a decent stage technician."
"You really think that Ritz?" Trixie sniffles with a teary-eyed smile.
You're a little uncomfortable seeing her like this, but you pat her on the head and tell her reassuringly, "Yeah. I really do. And besides, it was nice to play the part of the Queen's loyal Captain."
Trixie nods, and looks out the window at her people and their festivities again. Then she lets out a sad sigh and says,
"Unfortunately I think this whole act has played itself out. They might not be all that bright, but pretty soon even they're going to realize I'm all smoke and mirrors." she turns to you, "I don't want to be here when they all realize I'm a fake. I don't think I can handle going through that again."
“But Trixie, these dogs love you, I can feel it in the air whenever you appear to them.” you insist.
“I know… but that’s another reason I have to leave,” she says as she puts her head down.
“What do you mean?”
“These overly affectionate idiots love me for a lie… and I can’t do that anymore. I still haven’t figured out that gem finding spell, and I don’t think I ever will. They look up to me for something I’ll never be able to do...”
You put your hoof on her shoulder reassuringly which prompts her to continue,
“I told Sparkle that I would become Humble and Apologetic, but here I am taking advantage of a whole Kingdom while riding on the coattails of a brilliant stallion…” she says looking to you, “I have to get away. I’m a showmare, not a queen, and this past month has shown me that. Plus I ache for a home where no one expects anything of me than to entertain. So please Ritz, get me out of here in that cake so that I don’t break those idiots' hearts as I leave.”
You take your hoof off her shoulder.
"I understand. I'm just sad to leave all this behind." you tell her.
She looks at you in surprise. "You mean you're leaving too?"
"Sure, but what happens when we leave? I mean we’ve set up the most prosperous reign they’ve ever seen, what if it all falls apart once we’re gone?"
"But you're the one that accomplished all of that. You're a natural leader Ritz, you could stay and be their King."
You have to admit that the thought of King DeWitt is appealing... deliciously so, but after thinking on it a moment you shake your head,
"Nah, like I said, I'm a stage technician. I do my best work in the shadows. Being in the spotlight just isn't for me. If you'll let me, I'd like to stick with you after we skedaddle out of here."
“You don’t have to come with me Ritz, as I’ve said, YOU are the leader here. I don’t expect you to come with me.” she says sadly.
“H-hey now, don’t talk like that. I may have grown attached to these mutts, but You’re still my friend Trix, for better or for worse,” you reassure her to which she smiles.
“How about this, I help you escape, and I’ll stay behind and appoint Jim as successor and take care of some more loose ends, before I catch up to you on the road?” you ask.
She gives you a hug as she says, “Thank you, thank you, thank you,”
"It's no big deal. Really..." you say in slight embarrassment at this affection before she lets go of you to go get her bags, "Well then, help me into this cake. We've got quite a few blocks to cover before we reach the edge of town."
As you pass through the streets of Dimondia pushing the "Chocolate Cake", you see the Diamond Dogs getting ready for Nightmare Night, setting up Jack-O-Lanterns and the "Bobbling for Turnips" tubs.
You even see most of the pups running around in their Nightmare Night costumes including lightning clouds, vacuum cleaners, "Timberwolves" (covered themselves in sticks), but most of them just painted themselves to resemble the best-selling book in Dimondia ever since you and Trixie set up the public Schoolhouse (Go, Dog, Go!)
You now find you pushing a large chocolate cake through town. Whenever anyone asks you what it is or offers to help, you give some official-sounding response like "Substantial source of Diamond Dogs toxins, please stand back", "Cake scheduled for demolition by order of her highness", or "Didn't have enough icing so I'm getting a refund." You also notice that preparations for tonight are going smoothly as you can see Jack-o-Lantern everywhere and "Do Not Drink" signs being put up next to the bobbing-for-turnips tubs. You also see many of the pups already playing in costume dressed as thunderclouds, vacuum cleaners, and timberwolves, but most of them just painted themselves to resemble characters from the Kingdom's best-selling book (1).
You've just left the outskirts of the city and are about to push the cake out of town when...
You then put her in the cake and try to get out of town…but when you try to leave the border of the kingdom, she physically can’t go any further because of the collar.
It’s then that you remember what Jim said.
“D-OH!”
Suddenly the cake refuses to budge!
"What the..." you comment in confusion and look around to see nothing blocking the cake's way. You give it another shove only for it to stay completely still. Taking out a Can of WD-40, you start to spray the wheels on the cake in hopes of lubricating them when you hear an urgent whisper,
Ritz! What's going on?!
You look up to see Trixie cautiously peering out from a crack in the cake lid.
"Nothing to worry about. Wheels were just stuck." you say as you put the WD-40 away and start making some distance between you and the cake, "But just in case, I'll get a running start to ram us through." before running at full speed towards the cake.
"RITZ WAIT!"
*smash* "Ouch!" "D'oh!"
Unfortunately her warning falls on deaf ears as you slam into the cake only for Trixie to smush against an invisible wall as you smash through the cake's wooden structure and into Trixie.
"As I was TRYING to say," Trixie begins in annoyance as she shoves you off her, "It felt like I hit some invisible wall."
You're about to respond when you remember something Jim said at the coronation...
You tell Trixie that there is a problem. Specifically the crown is cursed and keeps her trapped in the kingdom.
Before you can explain how it works, and you're plan to get it off. Trixie proceeds to freak out and try to get the crown off. After failing to get it off she get's upset and starts to cry. You immediately move to calm her down and comfort her. You tell her the situation isn't as hopeless as she thinks. She proceeds to shake you like crazy exclaiming how is this mess not hopeless. After she let's you go you finally get the chance to explain how the crown works, and you're plan to get her free.
After explaining everything Trixie glomps you while saying stuff like thank you, you're the most kind clever pony i've ever met, etc. After calming Trixie realizes she's still hugging and holding you. Trixie jumps off you apologizing while her face turns red.
Curiously you think you sense some very familiar coming from Trixie directed towards you. But you dismiss it thinking you're just imagining things from the dizziness.
ONE MONTH AGO
Jim leans in and whispers to you, "Crown is enchanted. It works as a collar and a leash so that King or Queen can't leave kingdom and can't take it off either. We received it from a zebra merchant months ago. He said it was cursed, but anything that makes Queen stay and help us couldn't possibly be a curse." he says, looking quite proud of himself.
BACK TO NOW
"D'OH!"
"What?" Trixie exclaims in surprised concern.
"I just remembered what Jim said; That crown on your head is enchanted to keep you from leaving the Kingdom AND to be impossible to take off."
"What? Jim told me it was just too tight and that a message was being delivered as quickly as possible to Zebra jewelers to fix it!" Trixie exclaims as she starts trying to pull it off in a panic. After many attempts she gives up and starts crying,
"It's hopeless! HOPELESS! I'm trapped!"
"Trixie, calm down! We're not completely screwed ye-" you try to reassure her when she grabs and starts violently shaking you as she screams,
"How the buck is this not hopeless!!! They'll find out I'm a fraud and they'll form an angry mob and behead me before stuffing my corpse with goose liver just like in Les Mis!"
"Theeeey doooon't eaaaat seentiiieeentt creeeeaaatuuuuures!" you say while being shaken like a salad before managing to break free by pushing off Trixie.
After stumbling around in dizziness, you manage to lean against one of the suitcases inside the cake and say, "Look, let's get back to the castle first. Neither of us have eaten since lunch and we can think more rationally once we have some food in our bellies."
"O-Okay." Trixie says as she starts to levitate her suitcases when you interrupt,
"Leave your stuff here. I'll push the cake into those woods, hide it under some branches, and we can retrieve your stuff after we've made our escape. For now, I think her highness should let her subjects know of her approval of how they're carrying out this holiday so far..."
Down With Chrysalis comment
BACK AT THE CASTLE
After your first failed attempt at leaving Dimondia, we now find you and Trixie back in the Royal Chambers. Trixie is currently pacing around the room worried about how she's going to escape (too worried to eat) while you're currently still unclothed (in your "changeling costume") and devouring a large meal of chicken tenders, a whole fried chicken, chicken-fried bacon, sausage gravy, Buffalo Wings, Double-Downs, Monte-Cristos, a bacon-wrapped pork meatloaf, a tall stein of chocolate milk (you had the kitchen melt down one of your chocolate bars for the milk), two bottles of vanilla cola, and a Fool's Gold Loaf (you donated half your grape jelly to have the proper recipe instead of blueberry preserves as usual),.
-1/2 Large Jar of Grape Jelly
-10 Chocolate Bars
-4 Bottles of Vanilla Cola
Remaining in Saddlebags
"How can you be stuffing your face at a time like this?!" Trixie exclaims in exasperation as you squirt more mustard onto your chicken tenders,
"*gulp* Seeing how we may be leaving soon- *crunch chew gulp* I'm enjoying meat while I still can-*stuff*"
That and I'll need fuel for my healing factor in case things could to Tartarus. you think as you dip a hoofful of chicken-fried bacon in sausage gravy before stuffing them into your mouth.
"*sigh*You're gonna get SO fat. F-A-T! Sure, maybe you can get away with it now, but by the time your metabolism slows down- I mean, if there's any justice in the world... Ugh, Trixie needs a drink!"
"Can't. Alcohol is poisonous to Diamond Dogs, remember? *gulp* Want the kitchen to make you some chocolate milk?"
"Grah!" Trixie exclaims as she turns and throws her hooves up in exasperation.
As you explain to trixie her crown is cursed, your about to tell her how to get it off.....
Until you realized that you diddint know how the bucking thing worked. It was CURSED and if the bits and pieces of memory that came back to you this past month were accurate at all anything cursed would be a pain in the butt to take off, Heck the alicon amulet was cursed from what you could tell, and look at all the good it did you...
you should probably find the Chancellor and ask him about it, otherwise makeing trixie infamous would only get her killed, and waste your time if they dont even know how to reverse the curse.
Your first attempt at freeing Trixie has failed, so if you want to succeed with your second then some reconnaissance seems like a good place to start. Since Jim was the one to tell you about the crown's properties in the first place, it's likely that he can tell you how to disable it.
"Look.*gulp*" you say as you scarf down the last Double-Down and are about to tell Trixie how to get the crown off,
"In order to get the crown off you just have to...oooooooooooooooooo"
You suddenly trail off when you realize you have no idea how the gorram thing works.
"I'll go ask Jim!" you suddenly exclaim, "Yeah, since he was the one who told me about the crown's curse, logically he should also know how to take it off."
You then leave Trixianna's chambers in a haste... Only to come back a few moments later,
"Forgot my loaf." you say as you start levitating the fried chicken and the bacon-wrapped pork meatloaf and start munching on the latter as you leave the room...
SnapDrakeGames comment
After looking around the castle, you find Chancellor/Schoolmaster Jim in his office, filing some paperwork (mostly grading papers) along with the other secretaries. You casually trot up to Jim and place the whole fried chicken on his desk,
"Happy Nightmare Night." you greet.
After looking at the food in surprised for a few moments he says,
"Oh, thank you Captain. My wife asked me to bring home chicken."
"I told you, you can just call me Ritz. No need to be so formal all the time. Anyway, what's up?"
"Filing paperwork and grading papers," Jim replies, his gaze straying from his desk. "I'm almost done though. What about you?"
"Just wandering," you reply. "Training finished about an hour ago, so I'm just kind of hanging around till Nightmare Night starts. You wanna go grab a drink after you're done?"
"My apologizes, Capta-I mean Ritz," Jim apologizes. "My wife wants me to help take the pups trick-or-treating. Err- not that I'm complaining about that, mind you. I'm just a little confused on how this is all supposed to work."
"Me too!" one of the secretaries pipes up.
"Eh, it's pretty simple," you say. "You just go around to other houses in costume and get free treats."
"I understand that, but what's with this rhyme you're supposed to say?" Jim asks. "And why do you get free treats anyways? What've they done to deserve 'sweets', aside from walking around and asking for them?"
"Well, see, it's actually a cultural tradition deeply rooted in ancient- wait a moment, I'm kind of going off on a tangent here," you mutter, stopping yourself from explaining the interesting, and yet somewhat long-winded history of Nightmare Night, "The point of that rhyme is like what the donkey's call 'carrot and stick'; Give me treats or I'll play a trick on you."
"So... We're teaching our children extortion?" Jim asks in concern.
"Well... that sounds bad when you put it that way, but it's more like... 'encouraging' citizens to participate in an hallowed cultural event. Anyway, I've got a question." you say changing the subject
"Well, I think I can answer it," Jim replies. "What do you need to know?"
"Well, you know how that crown the Queen wears is curse- I mean, enchanted?" you ask. "Most enchantments of that variety usually have some special way they can be disabled... for some reason or another. Once I came across a magical amulet that could only be taken off by the wearer. Is there anything like that applicable to the crown?"
"Mmm..." Jim puts a paw to his chin. "Not that I remember-"
"Well," the secretary interrupts, "There is the contingency where we Diamond Dogs start to lose faith in her as our queen. True executive power is, of course, derived from the people. A chief executive serves at the pleasure of the electorate."
You and Jim both freeze, stunned looks aimed squarely at the secretary.
"What? I read it somewhere." he shrugs.
Turning back to Jim you say, "Okay, One; Give that secretary a promotion and a raise. And two; Thanks for the chat." before leaving the room. You then quickly pop your head back in and say,
"Oh, and three; Happy Nightmare Night, tell the wife and pups I said hello!"
Erised the ink-moth comment
Back at the Queen's chambers, you've explain to Trixie what you've learned as she's handling it with her normal grace and poise.
"WHAT?! You mean I can't leave as long at this crown is on my head AND I can't take it off unless these mutts stop liking me?!" Trixie screams.
"Well that's what I just said isn't it?" you say as you rub your ringing ear.
"But they love me! My performance as their Queen was spectacular!" Trixie panics, "They'll never hate me enough to get this stupid thing off. Which means I'l never leave. Which means They'll find out I'm a big fake! Which means I'm going to have to sit there and listen as they ridicule me for- Mmph!"
"Trixie. Calm down." you tell her as you jam a hoof in her mouth, "We just need to find a way out of this. Perhaps if we make them temporarily dislike you without revealing that you aren't the gem-finding mystic we led them to believe you wer-"
Suddenly, a brilliant idea pops into your head when you spot the area in the room where that hollow cake once stood,
"I've got it! We're gonna Nightmare Night prank the entire kingdom like they've never been pranked before." you say and deviously rub your hooves together as a wicked grin spreads across your face.
"Pranks? That's your plan for getting me out in one piece?" Trixie asks, not sure whether to take you seriously or not.
"Trust me." you tell her, "Back in my 'organiza-' I mean old job, there was one co-worker who had a pretty brutal pranking streak, everyone was fair game. I've been on both the giving and receiving end of thanks to him, and that kind of stuff..." you shudder, remembering a certain jug of 'mystery juice'. "It sticks with you. I've got enough pranks in my book, that by the time we're done, none of these dogs are going to forget tonight. And when we remind them that this will happen every year..."
Trixie actually grins along with you, "This might actually work."
"Well your highness, *neck crack* let's go show these mutts why it's called Nightmare Night."
WHAT DO YOU DO?
(1) Go, Dog. Go! by P.D. Eastmare, protege of the greatest foal's books author in Equestrian history.
IMPORTANT: READ THIS LOADOUT SO YOU KNOW WHAT ABILITIES AND ITEMS YOU (RITZ) HAVE
Current Loadout:
On your person:
-"Changeling Costume" (Actually you wearing nothing but your hat, goggles, bracelet, and saddlebags)
-Saddlebags (Size of a small closet on the inside)
-Bowler Hat (Reinforced, fireproof, waterproof, acidproof, magic resistant, and magically modified to stay on your head unless physically taken or knocked off)
-"Ace of Spades" card (In hatband on side of hat)
-Multi-Vision Goggles (Can be set to "Night-Vision" (you can see in darkness), "Thermal/Heat Vision" (allows you to see heat and recent hoofprints), and "X-Ray" (allows you to see through objects and see bones) modes. Shatterproof, waterproof, fireproof, acidproof, magic resistant, and can retract the lens so they can easily be slid under your hat)
-Metallic gold wristband on left arm with engravings of a lion and an eagle on it.
-Aquila Talon: Name and trigger phrase that causes the wristband to transform into a bracer with a deployable hidden hookblade (blade part is dull so you can't cut anything) that also can act as a grappling hook.
In Saddlebag:
-Large can of beans (dented)
-Box of Sweet Chariot sugarcubes
-52 Deck of Cards
-4 Thundercloud Orbs (Basically a hybrid of a flashbang and smoke grenade as it releases a brief blinding flash of lightning, a deafening crack of thunder, and a grey cloud)
-"The Dao of the River" book
-"Doctor's Note" (Explains why you have pure blue eyes and need to wear clothes constantly)
-Used Blanket
-2 Rolls of Duct Tape
-2 Cans of WD-40
-2 Bottles of Painkillers (While you can consume food or love for the energy to heal, your changeling physiology means you can take a whole bottle without ill effects and thus can use it to help you ignore serious injuries and keep pushing forward if you don't have enough love or food to heal)
-4 Bottles of Orange-Cream Energy Shots (Keeps normal ponies hyper-actively awake and alert for 5 hours before a sleepy crash, but for Changelings it just jolts them awake)
-6 Cans of Apple Slices
-6 Boxes of Ritz Crackers
-6 Jars of Chocolate Peanut Butter
-6 Cans of Cream of Potato Soup
-Large Bottle of Ketchup
-Large Bottle of Mustard
-10 Chocolate Bars
-1/2 Large Jar of Grape Jelly
-4 Bottles of Vanilla-Cola
-Cake Bomb (An improvised fused explosive that you covered in frosting and icing to make it look like a cake with a candle before placing it in a cake box)
-56 Bits (For the sake of storytelling, 1 Equestrian Bit is equal to $2 American dollars)
-47 Suit (Black suit and pants, white cuff shirt, red tie)
-Gold Fountain Pen
-Gold Cigarette Case with 14 Cherry-Vanilla scented/flavored Cigarettes
-Gold Lighter
-Red scarf (Covers the lower half of your face)
Abilities:
-Chain Punch (concentrated rapid flurry of hoof strikes to one spot)
-Short-Mid range "Force Pull" that requires focus and can only affect objects that you can normally lift/push physically (meaning "Force Pull" will not work on objects that would normally be too heavy, stuck, or large for you to physically lift, carry, or pull yourself)
-Can heal instantly, but requires burning through alot of either your food or love supplies (requires less love than food). The more severe the fatigue or injury, the more food you need to consume first.
-Can't fly.
-Can walk on walls and some ceilings
-Disguise only lasts a few seconds at most.
-Knack for “Hide and Seek” and general stealth
-Being a big film and serial buff
Happy Halloween commenters. For better or worse, the Dimondia arc ends next chapter so give it all you got!
Some guidelines for next chapter;
1. Rainbow Dash and any of the other main ponies do NOT show up.
2. No exposing Ritz as an actual changeling.
3. It's Nightmare Night (aka the MLP analogue to Halloween) so feel free to use that for scares and costumes.
4. Remember, it's based on this comic arc;
Other than that, have fun!
Today's question is;
What is your favorite candy?
Seeing how it's the day of free sweets, let us know what candy's your favorite. See you then!
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Use gorilla glue on every chair you see :)
Hmm, pranking spree, starting with the castle, duct tape all the finished paperwork to the walls (Out of correct order), mislabel various spices in the kitchen, glue all the chairs to the wall, and set the cake bomb off in the most used bathroom.
First, Trixie and Ritz decide to search for a costume for her, but nothing seems to like her majesty, so in the end she go without costume.
The plans seems to fail, everytime Ritz and Trixie try to prank somepony so that they lose faith in them, they take it very well and their faith increase thinking that their queen is joining the celebration, of course somehow the increase of faith make the crown to be somehow even more adjusted and Trixie begin to get a headache.
"The great and powerfull can't resist it more..." Groan Trixie
"What do you want me to do? That I make appear a zebra from the hat and ask her to take the cursed item?" Ask Ritz as he facehoof and remember what happened in ponyville, and it seems that he is not the only.
"Maybe we can ask that zebra for help? Or Princess Celestia?" Ask Trixie
"Uhhh..." Ritz begin to think something to say because he really don't want Celestia or Luna appear in there, after all they could capture him and then noling could save the hive.
"We can't do that... Even if you changed, no one is going to believe you, the purple pony is her student so she must know already what happened" Comment Ritz
"What? The new humble and apologetic Trixie was brainwashed by the amulet" Comment Trixie
"Maybe, but who knows if they are going to think like that... Do you want to be in jail?" Ask Ritz
"Uhm, no... Maybe it could be best to stay under the radar until Princess Celestia forget about the incident... But what about that zebra? If this was cursed by a zebra, maybe another zebra could help" Say Trixie
"But we don't know where is that zebra, she could live anywhere and they are not going to want me in Ponyville" Comment Ritz
"Then let's get a war, we take Ponyville by force and maybe find something that could help and... What the hell I'm saying?" Ask Trixie surprised as she shock the head
"It must be the crown, maybe not enough blood go to your head or something like that" Answer Ritz
"Well... Trixie don't have more plans... What about you?" Ask Trixie
---------------------
P.S: After all the time with the dogs and with all love he get, how is that Ritz still can't fly? I mean, he must recovered time ago, right?
Hmm some pranks.
Well there's always the classic teepeeing someones house.
One thing s Trixie is usually very skilled at in most stories is illusions. So about using Trixie's skill with illusion spells to help pull pranks. One options you can use is make the Diamond DOGS looks like Diamond CATS. But it backfires when the Dogs use this chance to mock Cats.
Hmm, maybe he could climb up to the top of the castle, yell for the diamond dogs attention, take every toilet paper roll in the entire kingdom, and TP EVERYTHING! Did I do good?
Put piranhas in the bobbing for turnips. Real world piranhas, not the fictional devour any flesh in sight kind.
“Are you sure we have to go pranking? It seems somewhat juvenile,” asks Trixie.
You give her a roll of the eyes.
“Look Trix, all we have to do is upset enough dogs long enough to take the crown off. Sure they’ll be mad and upset at the moment, but pranks always get laughed off after the fact. And by the time they are laughing and forgiving you, the crown will be off and we can leave.”
“That does sound logical, but then when I’m actually gone, they’ll think it’s a prank, and be even more upset when they find out it’s not,” she says.
“Well unless you have any better suggestions, I don’t see any other options. Seriously, what other way can a politician offend their constituents for a short time before they go back to not caring?”
“Hmmm…what if we preformed a minor scandal? Something low tier that will make them angry, but won’t be bad in the long run?” she muses.
“Well that could work I suppose, what do you have in mind?” you ask as she gives you a smile as she levitates a camera out of a desk.
“Something trashy and scandalous,” she says as she walks over to you giving you a funny look.
“Like what?” you ask nervously.
“This,” she says as she suddenly kisses you, your eyes going wide, before being blinded by the bright flash of the camera.
“Gyagh,” you say as you pull back and rub your spotted eyes. “The heck was that?” you stammer blushing.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist the thematics,” she says with her own blush as she takes the picture out of the camera, “And Eureka, Scandal Exhibit A.”
She shows you the picture of you two kissing, with your surprised eyes prevalent and you blush even harder.
“How is this scandalous?” you ask, storing the emotion from that kiss in your internal batteries.
“Well Ritz, how shocking would it be if “Somepony” were to leak this photograph to the local paper of their pure and innocent queen fornicating with her own Captain of the Guard? Queen Trixianna isn’t pure nor a role model for this type of behavior, and they will lose their faith in me.”
You know where she’s going with this. Sex Scandals were a favorite tool of Changelings to disrupt the status Quo, and cause distrust, but you think it’s lacking.
“First of all, you could have asked if you wanted a kiss Trix,” she chuckles and rubs the back of her head at that, “and second this is tame compared to some of the sex scandals I’ve seen. This is just kissing,” you point out.
“Your argument is valid, but unless you wish to take more risqué photographs between the two of us, I believe this will be enough.”
“Well, no…Pups could be reading,” you stammer.
“My thoughts exactly, now come along, let’s go discredit myself,” she says leading the way back down stairs.
When you enter the lobby again, you voice your concerns once more.
“I still don’t think this will be enough.”
“Oh fine, you want proof, watch this,” she says as she walks over to the secretary dog (who really does need a raise) and “Accidentally” drops the picture on his desk.
“Oh no, I “Accidentally” dropped this picture of my sordid love affair, Oh me, Oh my…” she says in horrible acting to which you facehoof.
“Oh, don’t worry your highness, let me grab that for you,” says the secretary as he picks up the photo and hands it to her.
“There you go, nice picture by the way,” he says.
“Wh-what?” asks Trixie flabbergasted.
“The picture, it’s a nice angle,” repeats the dog.
“Are you not shocked and outraged by this photograph?” she asks.
“Um…should I be? It’s just you two kissing” he says uncertainly
“But I, the pure and noble queen have been caught having an affair with my dutiful and chaste Captain,” she says flabbergasted.
“Hey, I’m not chaste!” you say indignantly.
“But, you two are a couple right?”
“Wh-what? Why would you think that?” she asks.
“Well we found both of you together, you made him your captain, he carried you to your room after your coronation, you stick together day and night, I mean heck, the whole Kingdom thinks you’re a thing,” he explains.
“They do?” you both ask.
“Oh definitely, I ship it,” he says with a chuckle.
Both you and Trixie give each other a nervous look before quickly looking back to him
“That’s all circumstantial,” you explain.
“Oh, well I guess it’s official now then huh? Just know that I’m so happy for the two of you,” he says before he looks down and starts getting back to work, humming happily.
You both stare at him, before you both wordlessly and walk back upstairs not looking at eachother.
Once back in her room, Trixie turns around and says,
“Agree that my plan was terrible?”
“Agreed.”
“Agree to forget about this awkward situation?” she says.
“Agreed,” you nod.
“Agree to prank these jump to conclusion curs like there’s no tomorrow?”
“Agreed,” you say again.
“Good,” she nods and walks off to a big table with paper and pencils on it.
“So what kind of pranks did you have in mind Ritz?” she asks.
You decide that you will need some fireworks. Diamond Dogs don’t like loud explosive noises, so if Trixie were to be seen pranking with them, they would surely not be amused.
Unfortunately, all the fireworks are in the trailer back on the edge of the kingdom.
After planning some more pranks, you take the remaining time you have left to go round up said explosives.
When you reach the trailer, you find big ones and little ones, and plenty of bottle rockets and sparklers, so you take them all.
You decide to test out a Big One to test just how powerful it is…and it goes sailing off over a hill where you hear a Massive explosion take place, far bigger than what is normal.
You crest the hill and see that a crater has formed.
“OK, no on the Big Ones, we don’t want to blow up any houses,” you muse.
You also note that in the crater, are countless twinkling gems.
Your eyes light up and you write down the location. Maybe at least You and Trixie can leave a parting gift when you ditch them.
ah, i see youve gone with the E Z way with the cursed crown.
Gud cuz i has no ideas.
Uhh... troll people with the "I accidentally" meme for a bit.
I got nothin, I mean i have 2 storys and they both have a word count of 0 and havent even been submited yet, what do you expect?
Time for Pranking! ...Oh in my case, some pranking backfires! Mwahahahahahahah!
One thing s Trixie is usually very skilled at in most stories is illusions. So about using Trixie's skill with illusion spells to help pull pranks. One
options you can use is make the Diamond DOGS looks like Diamond CATS. But it backfires when the Dogs use this chance to mock Cats.
Next, try to prank some of the head dogs by super glueing them together...only to have their popularity increase because of their great team work during a {Insert Contest soon).
Try to prank some of the underlings by making them think they accidently killed you in some way, only to end up almost getting buried alive cause Diamond Dogs don't know how to check a plus.
And for the ultimate finale of fails for pranks, lets try to prank every signal Diamond Dog by making them think that the food storage to be on fire...only for it to catch on actual fire and plus ruin the food supplies.