Fallout Equestria: Clean Slate

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Comments ( 11 )

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kris664

kris664 #1 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 1 · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

Good story... I really like some psychotic murdering... I don't have a problem

Comment posted by tropenamer deleted Aug 26th, 2015

tropenamer

tropenamer #3 · Aug 26th, 2015 · · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

6360460 Thanks for the comment! Who doesn't love a blood-hungry psychopath? Nopony I wanna know that's for sure! I need help, just not right now!
Thanks for reading!

kris664

kris664 #4 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 1 · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

6360611 Ah no problem... Maybe I do have a problem... But yeah who doesn't love a good amount of psychotic murder and gore?... And again you are right I don't wan't to know anyone who doesn't love murder I would kill them

Shenanigans

Shenanigans #5 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 1 · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

We really don't see enough comedy in fallout equestria, which makes me sad. I nearly gave up on this chapter, because of the idiotic trash all the characters were saying, even if they were references, but the struggle I was hoping was going to be in there was in there, so that was good. There are certainly some appropriate references, but they are a bit too frequent. I do appreciate refrigerator armories, clearly you've at least researched fallout 1. I don't think I dislike your writing style, because the narrative prose can be really good. Idiotic raiders don't strike me as being fit to survive in the wasteland. I may keep an eye on your story, because I think you have potential and I am always happy to see other comedy writers in FOE. Keep writing.

tropenamer

tropenamer #6 · Aug 26th, 2015 · · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

6360782 Thank you, I appreciate constructive criticism. I personally enjoy referential humor but I know it can wear thin if overused. I'll try to dial it back in the future.

Shenanigans

Shenanigans #7 · Aug 26th, 2015 · 2 · · Prologue: Life in the Wasteland ·

6361277 References are alright, but keep them subtle. Stuff like the reference to the refrigerator armory is good because it doesn't look like reference, but having characters shouting quotes from Trigun, Watchmen, and youtube poops right and left just takes away from the experience. It makes your story look derivative. Its okay to use references, but be classy with them. References that don't look like references are good, since they don't take you out of the experience. We want to see what you can add that is original.

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