One moment he was in his bedroom, trying to get to sleep. The next, he's in a dark forest, with a moon that's twice the size it should be.
An ordinary man finds himself lost in a place with no memory of how he got there, thick darkness all about him and no idea where he is. Now he has to find food, shelter, and somehow a way home.
[Edit] Many spoilers in the comments, so approach with caution. Buuuut, I love comments, so don't be afraid to submit some!
Featured on December 22nd, 2015. An early Christmas present!
Chapters (26)
this has my attention :P
Wow, I don't think I've ever seen a story with more than one chapter and day since publication with no likes or dislikes (As of 7/25/2015 5:05 AM).
The story's quality is... neutral.
i.imgur.com/fUSS5GO.jpg
6243533 read the recent blog post.
All stories with under 15 views do not have like/dislike shown.
Note, that before '0' likes/dislikes would show, but it's showing blank.
I decide by the next two chapters if I give this story a fav. But it looks good so far.
I'm enjoying reading this so far. You've got my attention, I also really like that you made the language different than English, something that is unknown to the main character. Anyway, you have a great story so fat and I'm looking forward to ready some more.
Nicely written so far. I'll see where this goes.
6244663
Thank you for your interest!
6244243
Thank you for noticing. I think it adds more to the conflict when there's a language barrier.
6243732
I appreciate that. I'll try not to disappoint you.
6243533
Thank you for your input, and for giving my story a chance. Hopefully it will improve for you in later chapters.
6238205
I'll do my best to make sure it's worth it.
6243663
Thank you for the support. I hope you enjoy my story as well.
this has my attention to
6245022
(steeples fingers) Ehhhxcellent...
'It's good to share the worry.'
That got a laugh out of me. Nicely done.
Rainbow be in a bitch as always.
6249056
You're quite welcome, and I thank you. I had no idea that line was funny!
6249497
I'm sorry you got that impression, for that was certainly not my intention. RD may be brash, and a bit of a braggart, but I've never thought less of her for that, and she remains one of my favorites. In this portrayal, which I've tried to keep in character, she's simply dealing with an unknown entity the way I think we all would were the situation reversed, and that is with fear and anger. I think that's understandable.
In any case, thank you for your input, and for giving my story your time.
I'm not feeling a strong plot hook yet, and your chapters are a bit on the thin side. Your prose and formatting are good, though, and your main character has acted reasonably up to this point. Plus every time Fluttershy calls him "Char-Elles" I picture him as Char Aznable, and that makes me smile.
Overall, not enough for a thumbs up just yet, but I will be keeping track.
6252381
I didn't know who 'Char Aznable' was, so I looked him up. Another anime fan, pleased to meet you!
I certainly appreciate your criticism, as I am working to improve all aspects of my writing, and I need all the input I can get. Hopefully the next chapters will have earned that thumbs up. Thanks for your time!
6252447 I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Also, anime fan who ain't seen Gundam!? Wat!?
Really enjoying this story so far can't wait for the new chapter
6267706
I really appreciate that. The next chapter will be out "around" Monday. See you then!
Very interesting story so far. I look forward to seeing what happens next.
Awesome chapter! :) Already added this to my favorites after this chapter. Again, I know I said it before but the language barrier really adds to the conflict and makes things interesting to see played out. I also like how you've switched between characters points of veiw. It a nice change of pace from most stories I've read, my question is this; As the story progress do you think switching between character will become confusing? As more characters come into the story, I could only imagine it would make it harder for you to keep track. I could be wrong, but I always like hear what the author thinks about these things. Anyway, I'm rambling. Awesome chapter and I look forward to finding out what haopens next
6276499
Again, I most certainly appreciate that! The next chapter will be out by this Friday or earlier.
6276976
Thank you again for the read.
To answer your question, no, it's not too confusing, as each character being introduced follows a pattern. It started out with the Human protagonist, then shifted to AJ's perspective for her reactions, then Human, then Fluttershy. So the pattern has been Human: Reaction, Human: Reaction. I did throw in that odd perspective, which I'll come back to, but for the most part that's how it will go.
That authors note though.... honestly I'm really looking forward to seeing what's next.
yay for foreshadowing. the question is, what is the meaning of ear scratching if they had blushes going.... i look forward to the next update,
Really liking this so far. I get the feeling I won't get much sleep tonight.
I love that detail. Goes a long way to cementing Fluttershy's communication as an innate magic part of her talent.
Hmm looking forward to what you have in store.
Ow, snap!
Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect these "things" were. Aliens, though it is a common thing in a lot of different books, I haven't seen very my MLP fanfic's with aliens involved, well.. that are written as well as this one anyway. Well, over all another great chapter! :)
6345099
I appreciate that!
Also, I love your avatar. Is that a goat, or a satyr? She has a "Narnian" look about her.
6345116 You are very welcome, as always.
My avatar is my OC though, it is just a goat. Though, I can see why, you (and other people) thing I may be a satyr. I wanted my character stand out a little bit more other than a pony that could still fit into the whole MLP universe.
6289375
Pinkie is the kind of pony that marches to her own beat, and not one to pay much attention to social norms. Her reaction to her ears being scratched was somewhat intimate, so both Fluttershy and Twilight were embarrassed for her. Pinkie didn't notice, or have cared too much if she had. IF she gets the opportunity, she'll have Charles scratch her ears again, but it's questionable if he'd do it. She likes it too much.
This chapter was...expected.
But Manx went out like a badass, so that's okay.
I actually didn't expect Manx to go out like that, but I hope to see the griffin more, I have a feeling will see more of her??? Maybe?
6366872
6360580
As soon as I dreamed up Manx in that situation I knew he'd require an heroic death...I hope I delivered.
As for Belinda, the gryphon, she's had her entire worldview shaken by Fluttershy's actions. Based off the two appearances by Gilda, it seems that gryphons have a dim view of ponies, what with ponies being both herbivores and prey animals, so her words reflected that perceived view. She definitely has a further role to play.
I hated putting Fluttershy through all that, but I intend to make up for it later. I tried to show a side of her most ponies never see, for Fluttershy is like someone I know in real life: she's soft spoken, and somewhat timid, but I've seen her warrior side. Let's just say I never make her angry.
6390014
The heroic death was delivered, and was done pretty well. It wasn't to over dramatic and it was believable. As for the Belinda... well I'm looking forward to seeing more of here in this story. I'm literally lost, like I cannot imagine how this story is going to take place. The antagonist's plan is almost flawless.
Thak yu. wait a minute that sounds more like fuck you then thank you
he's already learning bad words they grow up so fast
I really like the story so far, I'm hooked.
6396954
I'm glad you like my story. I'll do my best not to disappoint!
6391545
That made me laugh!
It's intelligent, and hasn't done anything aggressive.
I can accept that Twilight wouldn't know any better, but Celestia and Luna don't contradict her.
Really? Is that how ponies reacted to meeting Gryphons, Minotaurs, Dragons, and every other civilized species on the planet? If no, then why do it now? If yes, then why aren't they at war with every other species on the planet?
6428593
Twilight was reacting to Applejack's statement that she hadn't seen anything like it before, and also her intense fear. I'm also thinking when the ponies first encountered Gryphons, Minotaurs, etc the reaction was most likely fear, esp concerning Gryphons as they are a predator species. As it's still a children's show, the only conflicts of which we know for sure are the relatively mild ones between the pony tribes, as well as the war during Discord's reign. We don't know if the ponies were ever at war with any other race.
Consider the human reaction. There are millions of species on this planet, but as far as we know only one sapient one. If a creature knocked on your door in the middle of the night, and it was NOT human, the reaction would be the same as Applejack's. Also, I tried to imply that Applejack's intentions went beyond simply capturing the creature, as fear of the unknown can sometimes involve violent reactions. This is why I emphasised Twilight's response.
Finally, the pony tribes are not at war with other races in the present ( so far as we know ) because they DO live in a world with other sapient species, who not only live in their own countries but interact freely with the ponies. In this I think the ponies have an advantage over humans.
In any case, I thank you for giving my story your time, and hope the subsequent chapters are a better read for you.
uhhh,yeah,I don't think i'll be continuing this.There are too many "human appears in equestria and is hunted,tortured,mistreated,etc." stories as it is.
I won't down vote though,your grammar and spelling are great,and you have a good story really,just a little too dark for my tastes.
6483855
I'm sorry you won't be continuing, but I appreciate your reading as far as you did. Maybe next time!
Interesting. This story might go somewhere if you've got a plot set up after character establishment.
Although, I must ask, why does everyone except Fluttershy seem terrified of ol' Chuck over here? I could imagine it if he'd been turned into a giant cockroach, but he's just an erect, hairless, smooth skinned ape. "Beast" I could understand, but I'd say that "thing" is a word that should moreso be reserved for something truly horrible or disgusting.
Also: Hue-mons.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a4/97/7a/a4977af92fb345ccca2ede3e3d495533.jpg
Boy, Scootaloo's just full of good ideas. Maybe her next plan will be to load ammunition by candlelight, or test a light socket with a fork.
Well, now that we know that there are external forces at work here, it can be reasoned that someone is intentionally making the ponies feel fearful of Charles, or are otherwise making him seem more fearsome than he actually is.
i.imgur.com/ixMi9K9.gif
Air pressure in an atmosphere is a direct result of and is directly proportional to the force exerted by gravity. If there's less gravity, there's less air pressure. Conversely, more gravity = more air pressure.
Of course, the air could be made of something denser than nitrogen, oxygen, and water, but then you'd have much, much bigger problems.
6525867
Not necessarily. As given in this example, the planet Venus has lower gravity than Earth, but its atmospheric pressure is ninety times greater. Also, in this example, it is shown that "a planet's gravity doesn't determine the maximum atmospheric pressure." So the theory Equestria has lower gravity than Earth with a higher air pressure is sound, at least if one accepts the two examples given.
In any case, I thank you for giving both your time and your insights. I really do appreciate both!
6525812
They're not terrified of him, they're at worst weirded out by him. I mentioned this before, but I've tried to portray the ponies' reactions to an alien similar to the way we humans would, or close to it. The initial reaction would indeed be fear.
I dislike HiE stories where the Human is immediately accepted. That simply wouldn't happen, to my way of thinking. Finally, the ponies say "hue-mun" because they're trying to replicate Charles' word for himself, as it's not known in their language.
I only skim read the chapter for now but I really enjoyed it.
stuff is about to hit the fan! not only do they have an angry luna already on their ship, Celestia is keeping their entire ship grounded and i am sure that is no where near the end to what she has in store for them.
6527153
I never get tired of saying I appreciate any who take the time to read my work. Thanks again.
6527339
No. No it isn't.
Okay, it seems some-alien's are in for an ass-whooping
Can't wait for moar!!!