Explanations
Ponyville
Equestria
11:01am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date
“What is that?” Pinkie Pie gestured towards Rico’s PDA.
“This is my PDA,” Rico held it up and showed it to the seven mares, the screen had inexplicably turned back to static, “It used to allow me to communicate over long distances but it’s fucked now.” Rico shoved the PDA back in his pocket, “I wonder how much isn’t over board?” Rico thought.
“Fucked? Don’t you mean bucked?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight! A lady does not use horrible language such as that.” Rarity swooned dramatically.
“They probably mean the same thing.” Rico shrugged, “Right… anyways back to my story.”
Rico proceeded to tell them everything that took place in Panau, from Agent Marshall’s death to Rico’s flying Tirus ZJ, censored of course, replacing “killed” with “Removed” or “Incapacitated”.
“And that’s how I ended up here.” Rico concluded.
“So you’re saying you were falling so fast you went into another universe?!” Twilight asked.
“I don’t know, I ain’t no scientist.” Rico replied.
"So you "Incapacitated" a Panauan soldier by kicking him of the side of a mountain? wouldn't he have died?" Applejack questioned.
"Probably... but some Panauan soldiers have parachutes so he might have survived, doubt it though they don't even give their pilots parachutes." Rico replied.
“Poor Marshall…” Fluttershy sighed, “Falling to his death like that.” Fluttershy thought back to her near death experience when she was just a filly, maybe like her, Marshall didn’t die. “He did die right?” Fluttershy continued, hoping Rico hadn’t let him die.
“Yes, I jumped out after him, he was dead before he left the chopper.” Rico stated.
“You jumped from a flying helicopter? Isn’t that kinda dangerous?” Applejack asked.
“Yes. Yes it is.” was Rico’s response.
Twilight was intrigued by mankind’s ingenuity, they could fly without wings, they could do things on par with complex spells with science, they were as intelligent as Lyra had claimed.
“So what are those things on the table.” Twilight asked, she motioned towards the weapons.
“Well this is a grappling hook.” Rico slid the grappling hook on to his left arm, “It allows me to grab things within 100 meters or if used in conjunction with a parachute it allows me to get me around quickly, and these are guns, there purpose is to kill.” This shocked the ponies, they were all about to start panicking when Rico intervened and assured, “Don’t worry, I only kill bad guys,”
The ponies began to relax knowing Rico wouldn‘t kill them, so Rico continued and picked up his Signature Pistol, flashing the ivory grips and chromed finish , “ This particular gun is my Signature Pistol, chambered in .454 magnum with an under slung 30 millimetre grenade launcher, one round for this pistol costs four hundred and forty-four bucks.” Rico pulled the cylinder open on his revolver and removed a single bullet and set it down on the table, before pushing the cylinder shut.
“What’s a buck?” Lyra asked, as she furiously scribbled down notes, sparks flying from the end of her quill.
“A buck is another word for a dollar, the currency used in the US.” Rico answered as he holstered his pistol on his right hip and held up his sub-machine gun, “This is my sub-machine gun, chambered in 9x19 millimetre cartridges, it has higher rate of fire than the pistol and it is far cheaper to use, costing one hundred and forty-five bucks a round.”
Rico proceeded to eject the magazine and remove a single round and then set beside the .454 cartridge for comparison, before reinserting the magazine and then holstering it on his left hip. “And this is my assault rifle.” Rico said barely able to contain his excitement, like a child opening birthday presents, “Chambered in 5.56 NATO, it has a moderate rate of fire and costs two hundred and twenty-nine dollars per round putting it between the pistol and sub-machine gun in terms of cost.”
Rico removed the magazine from the rifle and removed a single cartridge and placed it beside the other bullets, the 5.56 round being the largest. Rico reinserted the magazine, then slapped it on the bottom so it locked into place, he then placed stock first on to the ground leaning on the sofa.
“How do they work?” Twilight asked, floating a new scroll from her saddlebag.
“When the trigger in a semi-automatic gun is pulled, the hammer and firing pin strike the cartridge, which causes a rapid burning of gases inside the cartridge, which propels the bullet down the barrel then from the gun. The bolt then recoils backwards to extract a new cartridge, ready to fire again once the trigger is pulled or in fully-automatic gun as long as the trigger is held down the gun will continue to fire.” Rico answered, “A gunsmith could probably go into more detail but that’s basically how they work.”
Twilight found it odd how he knew so much about these “guns” but not much else like how he managed to end up in another universe or how a jet engine works, even though he can fly several different types of jet.
“What are those other things on the table?” Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof at the remote explosives and hand grenades.
Rico picked up one of the remote explosives and began, “These are remote explosives, they work by me pressing the detonator, which sends a radio signal to the bomb, detonating it.” Rico flashed the detonator, “The bombs are currently safe,” Rico placed the explosive back on the table, and picked up a hand grenade, “This is a hand grenade, they also explode but only when the pin is removed…,” Rico pulled the pin free from the hand grenade, the seven mares looked at him in horror before leaping behind their own respective cover spots, causing Rico to laugh, “But if the spoon remains in place it won‘t detonate.” Rico’s hand slipped causing the spoon to fly off.
“Shit.” Rico leapt across the room and flung the window open. Grenade in hand he threw it as hard as he could into the sky towards the forest. The grenade flew up and exploded, flinging shrapnel in all directions, fortunately no one was hurt.
“Disaster averted everyone.” Rico sighed. Everyone was too shocked to react to how Rico nearly blew them all up.
“Don’t you mean everypony?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“No unlike you I am not a racist.” Rico responded as he sat back down on the sofa.
Rico was about to relax when he felt his PDA vibrate. He had another message from his mysterious benefactor. The message read:
Scorpion, If you want to assist me in destabilizing the Princesses’ rule, best way for you to do so would be to assist a gang or resistance group, the three largest gangs and Paramilitary groups inside or outside of Equestria are the “Eagle Claw Paramilitary Group”, The “Tunnel Rats” and finally the “Dead Hoof Gang”. I have updated their bases’ coordinates to your PDA. If you accept my offer a F-33 Dragonfly fighter will be waiting for you at these coordinates.
You don’t need to accept my offer but remember how will you live in a world where all they’ll have you do is kick trees or bake cakes or as your mentor would say “or some other hippie shit.”
H.P.
“Who the fuck is this guy?” Rico wondered, “At least Karl Blaine told me about the gangs first.”
“Is your PDA working again?” Twilight asked, knocking him from his daydream.
“It’s still Malfunctioning.” Rico lied. “Well I better get going, the Titus wreck isn’t going to turn it’s self into a campsite.” Rico continued trying to mask his real reason for leaving.
“No you can’t.” Fluttershy’s personality had changed dramatically, “You are far to sick to travel into the Everfree Forest it’s far too dangerous.”
“I’ll be fine, I have guns and explosives.” Rico replied hefting the assault rifle onto his left shoulder.
“No stay I insist.” She begged, not wanting Rico to get hurt. Again.
“I don’t want to be a burden.” Rico replied, “The Evergreen forest can’t touch me.”
“Everfree.” Twilight corrected him.
“Potato Tomato.” Rico responded, confusing Twilight.
“You’ll be no burden at all, I promise.” Fluttershy assured him.
“Fiiine.” Rico whined, setting his assault rifle down and plonking himself on the sofa,"Should I help this H.P., I haven't even met the Princesses, they so she might be benevolent." Rico laughed out loud, "Yeah right benevolent Monarchies that'll be the day, i'll have to sneak out later then," Rico thought, " I really want that goddamn plane though, and I might get to blow shit up."
"What's so funny? Is it a joke? I love jokes." Pinkie asked, hoping it was a joke.
"Shit, think of a clean, non-racist joke." Rico thought, "Aha got one."
"OK, what is a famous kind of owl?"
"A Celebes Barn Owl?" Twilight questioned.
"A Mountain Scops Owl?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, A teat owl." Rico cracked, smiling at his awful joke.
"What?" The seven mares questioned him.
"A teat owl? you know a tea towel?" Rico replied wearing a forced smile.
Author's Notes
Like the last chapter there are a few pop culture references, can you find them?
Who are these three gangs? Will Rico assist them in overthrowing Celestia?
And sorry for that horrible joke.
And that's all folks for this chapter of "A Just Cause"
-Tisbutascratch
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Dead hand Gang from summin i dunno Runescape maybe?
Tunnel rats from fallout
And that racist bit cracked me up.
The plot thickens, also that joke was truly horrible.
I might also mention that this chapter feels like one of your better chapters, good job.
721089Thanks, that is the worst joke I know.
721089 DAMMIT STOP COMMENTING THAT FUCKING PICTURE MAKES MY CRY!!!!!!
(not really but its still sad.
)
I'm hoping this douse not go were I think this os going
721534Where do you think its going?
Death of Celestia level of chaos.
721069The "Tunnel Rats" are named after the real "Tunnel Rats" from the Vietnam War, The Eagle Claw is a fallout reference though.
722020Its possible...
722074 Fair enough, School put me off history for life my teaher was the biggest bitch of all time and i'm fine not knowing what happened 50 years ago
722107Funnily enough, I hated my English teacher and remember "There ain't nothing funny 'bout the EAGLE CLAAAAAAW!"
I like the story can't wait for the next chapter
721069 No, the tunnel rats are from something else, Butch made the Tunnel Snakes, not tunnel rats.
722418 Potato Tomato
i dont get it
722882What the joke?
ya
sheesh, I waited forever for THIS? I love the jokes no doubt, but to wait FOREVER?!
I don't think he'll help him because he would only attack if he is attacked. and i highly doubt he would blindly help anyone
723061A "Teat Owl" "Tea Towel"
So, Rico Rodriguez, three cheers for NOT jumping to conclusions about the government, right?
He's totally gonna crash the jet into Shining Armor's spell-shield thing on his quest to destroy the Princess's kind, totalitarian, and benevolent regime.
739027Personally, I think it'll be more along the lines of "Attack of the flying Tuk Tuk" or "Royal Guard vs the Happy Bubble Blaster "
Everypony=RACIST! I FUCKING KNEW IT-Nick Frost, Shaun of the Dead Also, Just Cause 2 is only 4 GB.
Will he doesn't have to kill to perform chaos. Wonder what items this H.P. has for him (Hopefully not Stripper Clowns the horror [Go hides in the corner and cries]).
Oh and if you need and OCs my blog is quite loaded (Though they follow the Good and Neutral alignment [Some are a little chaotic in that alignment]). Great at coming up with characters but not so good at stories (Just let me know who you use).
Here is some thoughts are spreading chaos without killing.
1. Spiking the waterholes with strange fluid that get certain individuals slightly buzzed (Turn the waterholes into beerholes but doesn't affects the young-ones).
2. Sabotaging festivals comically.
3. Fireworks Booby-Trap Pranks.
4. Altering information to a comical affect (Like remaking signs, changing ledgers, ECT....).
5. Altering Statues making fun of Celestia and other famous Ponies (Not destroying em but altering em).