Day 82
Welp, today was interesting. I had the day off from the store and as usual, I spent it in the library. I read up on ponies in general... as in biology.
Came across something interesting... mares outnumber stallions by an average of two point seven to one.
That should not be happening, they are mammals. Mammals as a rule end up at a 1:1 ratio... or very close to it. Humans are something like hundred and one males for every hundred females, at least at birth. At adulthood, females outnumber males.
Mostly due to the males doing stupid shit to impress said females.
That wasn't the case with ponies of any of the subspecies. There were a clear female majority at birth.
Which made me wonder exactly how that affected relationships and families... hell, society in general.
An afternoon of study (note to future self: Be more careful about picking research materials. Trashy romance novels seemed like an okay and easy place to start, but they were not. There is such a thing that once read can not be unread.) and this is what I learned:
One: While females outnumber males and it's not uncommon to see stallions in relationships with more than one mare, it is not the complete norm either. Much, much more common than among humans, though. But still not common enough that I would have actually noticed without looking it up at the library.
Two: You have a much higher degree of female/female romantic relationships than humans. You know, considering the social demographics, I really should have seen that one coming. It's not uncommon that a couple such as that seeks out a male friend when they want children.
Three: I have completely misread a great fucking number of social cues.
Example: I saw a mare give another a nuzzle on my way home from work yesterday. It thought that kind of thing was the equivalent of a light hug. Yeah, I was wrong. They were basically doing a more public version of making out... with hints of more.
Four: The question that comes to mind is... what the fuck have I been showing these ponies that I didn't intend to? I have been reacting to stuff like a human. At best, I likely look really odd. At worst, I might be seen as a raving pervert.
I feel like quoting Doctor Mordin Solus: “Implications unpleasant.”
I am so, so glad that at least I'm starting to get my fucking language under control. ...When speaking out loud at least.
I need somepony I can talk about this stuff with, somepony local.
Page signing off to go hide under his bed until the blush goes down.
PS: SERIOUSLY, BE MORE CAREFUL PICKING RESEARCH MATERIALS! YOU MORON!
XXXXXXXXXX
I crossed my front legs and sighed as I shifted one paper to the next box. I needed to get this done! If I don't the beaver won't get its apple and then the plane won't land.
Handing the full box to the talking banana, it hit me over the head with the fish and then wandered off.
“This is very strange.” a voice said and I started, turning around to see the Princess of the Moon standing behind me, looking around the clearing. “Even for dreams.”
I stared at her for a long moment. “Princess Luna?”
She smiled. “We were curious. We have just resumed our duties in watching over the dreams of our subjects. We wondered if yours differed from normal ponies.”
What?
“You are just a dream, right?”
The princess shook her head. “No, We are quite real. However, there is no need for alarm. We are the princess of the night, dreams fall under our purview and We never reveal what We see to others. We... were curious of what a human might dream of.”
I was unsure whether I should feel outraged by the invasion of my privacy or terrified that she could just casually jump into my head.
“...Princess, that could have been dangerous. And I'm not sure you wish to be here anyway, it's a silly place.”
And at times, somewhat perverted.
She looked amused. “So We see. Is this an average dream? It remind Us of... an unpleasant time.”
I eyed the desk and jumped off the chair. “...No, this was more nonsense than usual. But even so, there is a risk you would walk in on... other stuff. Things we might both rather not have you see.”
She actually giggled at that. “We are very aware of what can go on in dreams, Blank Page. We very much doubt that has changed for the last thousand years.”
Shaking my head, I stretched before looking up at her, pointing my hoof at her. “I'm still not convinced that you are not a figment conjured up by my subconscious.”
Luna flicked her ears. “How about We send you a message tomorrow? Would that be evidence enough?”
“Yeah, I guess that would work.”
She nodded. “Then We will do so.” She looked thoughtful and continued; “This is your world?” she asked as she looked around.
I frowned in thought before I looked around the clearing with her. “This is my dream right... I can control it?”
“If you focus, you can. Most ponies have some control over their own dreams, even if they do not always realize it.”
“...If you want, I could try to show you some of where I'm from. This is probably the only way I will be able to do it... and you did say that you were curious, Princess.”
“We would like that.”
Ah, that moment when you look back and rethink every action you've taken and wonder about how many ponies you might have unintentionally hit on.
So, dreaming in Equestria is basically like Inception. Is this the part where Blank's subconscious takes the form of well-trained soldiers and opens fire on the intruder (Luna)? Will she respond by creating a dream within a dream (within a dream)?
I can see it now, and it didn't take long. Him as an OC, two Princesses, no mention of the Mane 6, and the first mare he has an intimate moment with is Luna. You all know it. Human/Luna romance
6421191 summon the tf2 solider
>> 6756829 Johnny Steps summons the Guitar Hero. Now Guitar Hero, play hanger 18 on export mode. Nothing can survive that attack.
My shipping senses are a' tinglin'.
6756829 I got one thing better
The Terminator + >9,000 Reaper with Scythe spun up
I regret nothing
What? That really doesn't make sense. Still, I'm enjoying the story so far.
6833638 Sex. Lots and lots of sex.
Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
Mass Effect reference! You are awesome!
And I neeeed that plane to land! All these snakes flying in from Yuragay were already delayed half a century because of the coming winter, and the local storm chasers, The Sharks, were detecting a quickly forming Humannado!
I like to think that somewhere there is a town with as many Stallions as Ponyville seems to have Mares, since I believe this is just something that has been said because of how many Stallions are actually seen.
As much as I've seen it in mlp fics, I really don't get why there's such a gap between genders. It's not even true for horses; whether feral or domesticated, it's still 1:1 or thereabouts.
A pair of rather cynical explanations has come of this. One, because the show itself focuses on mares more, we never actually see the stallions. The other is that far too many bronies- myself being one of them -are far too much into the F/F side of romantic fimfiction.
Like I said-- cynical.
By the by, I really don't think the gender ratio is a skewed. If you watch Magical Mystery Cure- or really, any episode with a large number of unnamed extras -you will see that at least fifty percent of the ponies are male. It's hard to spot by body type, so you have to go by muzzle size. By and large, stallions have a muzzle that is far more square.
7583527 Yup. That town is this podunk lil hillbilly place called Canterlot, where the primary concentration of the Royal Guard is stationed.
Hence, the need for more males at birth. Adolescence does scary things to the brain. Skateboarding off the roof, anyone?
8091721
Nope but I have a certain explosive idea
8411018
I've had some interesting experience with homemade smoke bombs. Fascinating thing, stump remover is.
Just don't put the dang things in sealed tubes, no matter HOW large of a vent you think it has.
If anyone wants the recipe...?
8817614
I'll take that recipe. In exchange for... Hm... How to make thermite?
8867575
looping Trixie approves. warning, looping Gilda does not. WARNING: gryffins are sharp.
8091721
Yes, it takes two intelligent and sensible parents to raise a male to not do those things. I am proof.
6421191
Dreamceptionception
7371163
I swear, I see you everywhere!!!
8091721
But y tho?
8411018
Mmmmmmmhmmmmmm......
8817614
Weeeeeeeeellllllll, do you have a younger sister or younger female friend you are overprotective of? If so, I will gladly exchange torture ideas for the potential breaker of her heart to get that recipe!
8867575
Buh............nopenopenope!
9359235
"Dreamceptionception" with no exceptions. :D
9360746
oh, you made me think of a scene in this silly video:
Luna could see many good and more horrible things Nice chapter
We have the same job!
*BOOM*
"Great, now I'll have to call Biv.
Roy, plane crash on 3.145"
Rainbow flies out the window, but before making me sneeze gummi bears.
Had to finish the dream somehow.
That is your reaction, Blank? "Just go with it"?
That thing just went into your dreams! A part of your mind! Desecration! How is this not a problem for you? Your other reactions are spot on for a human but this isn't? Why are you not demanding restitution from the Abomination!?
I liked Luna till the first episode of her dreamwalking. Now she ranks neck and neck with Discord for "most horrifying creature in Equestria" with Chrysalis following behind in third. Why does no one else try to capture the horror of this? Am I truly alone on this?
10133378
I don't know about you but if someone could literally enter and manipulate my dreams I wouldn't try and get them angry
10133378
It can be terrifying, but it doesn't really rank too high up there in the oh fuck o meter when you're living with a civilization that has a rather blàse stance towards literal reformation and mind control spells. And depending on the way the author portrays it, it's a lot less invasive than it first seems. And besides, she's not finding anything more than a good psycologist would, and actually, the knowledge she's there acting as a proverbial safety net can be surprisingly comforting; especially in a world where dreams can have such a profound effect on things.
I thought of it like that too at first, but then I remembered how we used to run on a patriarchical society, how nearly all soldiers back then were males, and how a lot of them didn't return home by christmas. First was 5 years, second was 6 years. The numbers rippled through.
10133378
10280823
By that point in time, he would've been somewhat accustomed to being on the receiving end of crazy. And to me, walking dreams aren't as bad as moving the bloody sun and moon.
Time to boop Lunas snoot. Boop the Lunar snoot Page... DO IIITTT!!! ♡
If Celestia can raise the frickin' sun, there is certainly a likelihood that Luna can walk through dreams.
*flashbacks of mlp episodes*
Oh... Oh god
There is never a bad time to quote Doctor Mordin Solus.
9080691
I don't care how old this is, I appreciate the mention of looping Trixie.
11021050
What episode are talking about
If he still thinks of himself as human, as he stated to Celestia in the last chapter, why does his dream self have front legs? Shouldn't he be human in his dreams?
11496638
Dreams are the mind archiving memories, mostly, so it makes sense he is a pony in them as that is how he last saw himself even if he still think himself human in mind and behaviour.
Blank Page:
This is where the fun begins!