Chapter 15
Day 185
Welp. As it turns out, it will cost me almost a thousand bits to get the first test batch of my book printed.
The publisher didn't think it would sell and as such, wouldn't pay to have it printed. Yeah, so that's not happening any time soon.
He didn't like the villain of all things! The fuck!? Said it was 'too generic' and 'too violent to sell well'.
Darth Vader!??! Generic!?
Well, fuck him then.
That did, however, leave me with the inability to have the book published. Sure, I had sent it out to another three publishers, but I was not really particularly hopeful at this point.
Which left me about five hundred bits short of being able to afford to have it published and even then it would take every bit I had. I suppose I could ask Luna for a loan, it would be chump change to her, but I don't want to. She may be rich (now that's an understatement if I've ever heard one), but I don't like taking advantage like that.
Besides, there is no guarantee it would actually sell, so I might not be able to pay it back. So I'll save up for it instead.
On the upside, if it actually does sell, I won't have to share with a publisher. I hoped to at least make back what it would cost to print.
Sadly, as I am still lacking a job, it would be quite a while until I could afford that kind of thing. However, I have found a way to pass the time that doesn't include looking for job, reading or hanging out with a goddess.
There is a 'pre-guard training' course open for all stallions and run every morning. It's basically a way for ponies wanting to join the royal guard to get in shape and learn basic fighting techniques before applying for regular guard training.
A way to increase interest and quality of the recruits, I think.
In any case, I had no intention of joining the guard. Seriously, I could think of few professions that fit me less. But, it did give me exercise as well as being slightly fun. I was way too lazy to just exercise without it being some kind of activity.
The unicorn version also contain some of the basic 'fighting with magic' training. Turns out that what I did to that thief is actually one of the basic moves for close-range fighting using magic.
Still, I can't help but be curious as to why all guards I've seen are male. With males being less common than females and not really being any stronger, I would expect the ratio to be the same as in the general population, if not fully female.
However, I suspect the reason might start with 'eye' and end with 'candy'. Hell, I know that if I was the all-mighty ruler of a land I would prefer my personal guard to be skilled and scantily-clad women instead of burly men.
Not sure I can exactly blame Celestia for that one.
Page, signing off.
XXXXXXXXXX
Zap!
The beam from my horn lashed out and completely missed the target by over a meter, and I growled in annoyance.
Hard Shield chuckled, the retired guard shook his head. “Well, you are improving.” he said; “You were at least in the general vicinity of the target this time. Perhaps you might have frightened it.”
Focusing again, I Zapped it again against my growing hornache, this time just barely hitting the edge.
Sighing, I sat down and rubbed the base of my horn.
This was beyond frustrating. I was actually a good shot back home... at least for someone who never touched a gun. Back in hunting class in school, I was the only 'non-hunter' there who was able to reliably hit things and that was my first time touching a rifle.
I always was good at that kind of stuff, be it airsoft or an actual rifle. Even blowgun. This, however, was completely different as it was stuck to my forehead!
“Better.” the dark-furred unicorn with the white mane said with a nod. “A couple more months and you might actually hit the target.”
I nodded and got up again, moving back to give the next unicorn in line a chance to try it, heading for the back of the line.
Well, if nothing else, I was learning how to defend myself and giving myself not only magic practice, but also physical exercise. I'm way too lazy to just 'exercise', I needed something entertaining and this passed for it.
Not that the spell they taught us was much use in an actual fight, we were actually encouraged to use it on each other during the 'spars'. It was about as powerful as a smack to the face.
It was mainly to practice your aim. Didn't mean I didn't suck at it... but then again, I didn't have a horn six months ago so I would like to think my progress is pretty okay... and I didn't need to go to magical kindergarten again.
As helpful as that was to get my most basic telekinesis working, it was more than a bit humiliating to be in the same class as three to six year olds... and have them be better at it than you were.
At least my horn had been fully developed and I did get good enough to be able to drop out after a couple of months. When I got good enough to write for a good long while without getting a headache.
The rest was basically a practice issue.
“Hey, don't worry about it, Page. You are getting better.” Swift Spear said from in front of me in the queue, the dark blue unicorn looking back at me, seeming rather amused.
“Yeah, yeah.” I snorted. “Not everyone is guard material, Swift. I'm mostly here for the exercise.”
He shrugged. “Just a couple of weeks until I can apply. Should get in.”
Yeah, no wonder, your family for the last five generations have all been in the guard.
He was mostly taking this class just waiting to get old enough to apply. Or so he said.
“A group of us are heading out for drinks tonight. Want in?”
“...Sure. Why not.”
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Oh no...
SOCIAL ACTIVITY!!!
Vader Generic...
Priceless.
31.media.tumblr.com/47e76903d0cb909fadb63d392c57df97/tumblr_inline_nwrek3Og3R1tfoqjr_540.gif
6494140 Heresy! Who dares call darth Vader, one of the most badass villains ever, generic! This is blasphemy! Ok, I'm done now. Needed to get that out of my system.
6756899 ...if the glove fits... ;)
6756899 The pony in the corner, who had just been force choked past the point of death.
Darth Vader being generic. Well being as his biggest things were things like the force, a sword made of light, and being the father to the protagonist, I can easily see that as being generic in the world of magical ponies.
And his virginity was never heard from again. The end.
Actually, if memory serves, Vader was one of the reasons why critics criticized the original movie.
Then again, I'm not sure. In any case, those that turned it down in the beginning got served a double helping of Humble Pie. Just like HP did when they turned Gates away because he didn't finish college.
You could do some Lovecraftian horror; that should prove "more original" and (potentially) "less (physically) violent"... Considering it's all about the fear of the unknown...
Hunting Class?
I call BS!
What kind of crazy place would have something like that!?
7917820
Lots of school have that. In fact mine had Bow and Arrow practice. And yes, we used real Bows. Compound Bows to be exact.
7949412 My school was supposed to do that. With the arrows that won't hurt stupid, hormone-fueled adolescents that don't listen. My class got to play softball instead. YAAAAY!
The other classes shot arrows into stuff.
8091751
Sucks for you. We got aviator classes if we wanted. Public school by the way.
8867613
Public school in the sense of being exclusive and generally reserved for the affluent? Or in the sense that it's paid for in full by the government for all students and has a curriculum that reflects national and regional standards and views on what needs to be taught?
I can relate to the main character... Entertainment or a clear target in sight is needed for good results.
It's pretty smart when you think about it
I know the feeling
Some publisher clearly wants to die
To require education in how to be educated seems complex beyond the point of my ability to understand. If one cannot be educated, how does one educate them in the ability they lack, given that they lack the ability to be educated?
And yes that's a quote from another story. One, which you all should know. Else I'd be extremely very sad of its non-infamy.
10342203
Okay Idol, chill out.
10342203
Its pretty common in USA to have this things especialy in schools: pre-school is the thing before school and could be optional, military carrer there are tbis branch in university called ROTCs or something like that, its like a mini boot camp while studying for your military carrer, there are pre bar exams that prepare you for the bar in law school, highschool there are a few institutes that have pre SATs taken as ptactice before the SATs, and so on with many technical carrers as well.
To be fair, if you only look at him from A New Hope, he kinda was.
Still cool though
To be fair, in a land of magic, the force is pretty generic.
No one thought a new hope would go anywhere. Then it did
Magic missle
Hoo?! He dares question the bestest movie villain?
11021213
I find his lack of faith... disturbing...
Darth Vader wasn’t really the villain IMO, it was more Tarkin, Darth Vader was like a dog, and Tarkin was his handler
Famous last words...
Guard training is good for training of mind and body, he has the eye candy routine down pat!
I wonder if he can invite Luna or Celestia for a beer
11632783
Right up there with "Hold my Beer".
Ditto. That's why I ride my bicycle all over my home town to keep in shape. That's both entertaining and fun. (Oval is a shape, right?
)