3 – The Path We Take
Lilo-Skallit took me about a quarter of the level away from the drones still waiting for their confessors.
“Nervous much?” he asked.
“Me? No, why?”
“You’re shredding the air like you were fleeing from a caveshark,” he said. “Take a deep breath, youngling. I’m not here to judge you on your deeds and choices, but to guide you through your Ceremony which, as you may imagine, will require conducting proper rituals on my side, but also the right attitude on yours. That said, I advise you to be honest with me, and more importantly, be honest with yourself. I understand that opening to someling you’ve just met may be difficult, so let’s start with a little warm up. Tell me, are you nervous?”
Part of me wanted to play tough, but a compassionate note in Skallit’s voice convinced me to do otherwise. No wonder the Speakers were the ones doing this. They were all a bit more empathetic and altruistic than any other caste.
“I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life,” I replied. “I mean, when I woke up I was calm and collected, then something made me feel anxious all of a sudden, then I was calm again. Five minutes ago I felt pretty in control of myself, and now I’m scared again.”
“It’s only natural. You’ve probably heard a lot about the great significance of the Ceremony of Names, and while it is such indeed, it consist of a couple of smaller steps which are easier to deal with one at the time,” he said. “The first one is simple. We need to find a place devoted to one of the ancestors where we could sit and talk. Do you know which of them you are going to invoke?”
I shook my head. “Not really. I’ve been here last week trying to find myself a proper patron, but whenever I stopped by one of the statues and looked them up in the rituary I realized I had nothing in common with them. I mean, they were all great and all, but I knew they weren’t right for me.”
“Then perhaps it’s not a matter of knowing who’s appropriate, but feeling it,” Skallit said, then picked up a lamp and showed me to the edge of the floor. “Lead on. Let your instincts guide you, and your decision will not be random.”
As I took flight, Skallit followed me and gave me an encouraging smile, so I dropped a level and looked at the tunnels in front of me. I didn’t follow them. They were too close to the upper level, and I didn’t think they could provide enough privacy, so I flew further down. No, not this one. This one’s terrible, too. That one’s already taken. Next, too narrow. And this one’s ugly—I mean, no offense, ancestors, but some of you look like you want to eat my face off.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a cavity which I could swear wasn’t there the last time I’ve been here. Well, no wonder I missed it. It never occurred to me to search for a patron between the floors, in poorly lit pockets embedded in the rock. This one looked unwelcoming to say the least, and only spacious enough to fit two or three changelings. The onyx statue inside was partly covered with webs long forgotten even by their eight-legged creators, but on the flip side, the pocket provided a good view on the entrance to the Hall of Queens which was only a couple of levels below.
The ancestor who guided me here must have had a really wicked sense of humor.
“Here,” I said. “Can we stay here?”
“Certainly,” Skallit said. He went in first, and swooped some of the webs away. “You’d think our reverence would at least keep the ancestors tidy, but it seems not many younglings have been entrusting themselves to this one recently. Let’s see… Her name is Keki-Feldora, or Feldora of the Warrior Caste,” he said, taking out a purple and gold leather-bound book of his robes. “As you know, the ancestors worthy of a statue are listed in the rituary. I will now read you about this one, and should you consider her appropriate, we will continue with the Ceremony. Otherwise, we’ll just keep searching. Just give me a moment.”
I took my time to inspect the statue. The changeling immortalized in red onyx was wearing a clunky set of armor which in no way resembled those we use today, but what caught my attention was that Feldora was unarmed. A flawed design choice, considering the great Warriors were usually depicted in the fiercest battle pose they could muster, with a weapon of choice by their side and a menacing expression on their face. Compared to them Feldora looked apathetic with her wide-eyed gaze turned upwards and only slightly bared fangs.
“Now that’s interesting,” Skallit said. “There’s no record of this Keki-Feldora.”
“What does it mean, Lilo?”
“My guess is that whoever was writing down this rituary simply missed her. It wouldn’t be the first time, you know. The Hall is full of concealed places, and every time I think I know them all I discover something new,” he said. “We can only assume that she was an exemplary member of her caste. I am sorry I cannot provide you with any more details from her life.”
“No, it’s alright,” I replied. “It’s great, actually. I know I’ve been passing on other ancestors because they all seemed so specific, while Feldora has the ambiguity I can appreciate. Is it still okay to invoke her?”
Skallit looked at the the abundance of spider web with disgust. “It certainly is. Come on, let’s clean this place a bit and make ourselves comfortable.”
Before we were done cleaning, I realized Skallit wasn’t a dead serious and overly zealous Speaker I had expected him to be. He turned out helpful and willing to listen, and I caught myself thinking of him as my own Big Bro to which I could turn for help. Apparently, not every confessor at the Hall was as boring as Lilo-Krennet.
Skallit and I sat opposite each other.
“Now, I would like to hear your opinion on the roles fulfilled within the Seven Castes,” he said. “Let’s begin with the one of your patron. Would you like to be a Warrior like Feldora?”
“Ha! I’m sure glad you didn’t see me in action!” I replied. “I’m an average sportsling, and there’s literally no task in our defense forces at which I wouldn’t be hopeless. First line? Not really. I wouldn’t be able to scare a cave grub. Second line? I can’t throw a javelin straight. Cavalry? I couldn’t get a fat aurock to cooperate, so imagine what would happen if I tried riding a caveshark.”
Skallit chuckled. “If it’s any consolation to you, I myself was too afraid to even get on either, so you’re way ahead of me already,” he said. “Remember that not every Warrior is a soldier. Some of them are spies who rely on their cunning and subterfuge.”
“That’s still working on the surface. I’d rather stay at home.”
“Does it rule out becoming a Feeder?”
“Yeah. I understand that the love energy is vital to our species, and I salute those who harvest it. One of my first mentor was a Feeder. He told me a lot about his work, about all the things and places the ponies have. The surface is a vast world, I admit it, but I don’t feel the need to visit it. There’s enough to do at the Hive, I think.”
“Like, for example, providing other types of sustenance to your fellow changelings.”
I took a quick glance at Skallit. “That’s a Tender question, isn’t it?” I asked, to which he nodded. “Well, I am able to prepare a choice of meals if that’s what you’re asking for, and I can recognize a variety of plants. However, this is all learned and not natural. If there’s a recipe telling me to add half a glass of milk then it’s easy, but if it suddenly says to add some spices up to my liking I get lost. How on depths should I know when’s enough? It all tastes the same, anyway.”
“You can’t know for sure. You have to rely on your cooking intuition!”
“Which is nonexistent,” I replied with a frown. “Eh, I would be an okay Tender I guess, but I’d much rather prefer to be great at something else.”
“Perhaps at being a Maker? It takes a lot of skill to braid the spider web like that.”
Batspit! I completely forgot about my satchel. Hopefully nothing crawled inside as we talked, or else the sweet roll might not be so sweet anymore. At least I haven’t brought the anger of the ancestors on myself for bringing it here. I’m sure Skallit wouldn’t mind, but Keki-Feldora remained as mysterious as she was when I first saw her. Hope you don’t mind I’m not following your steps, Keki! Being a Warrior isn’t for me.
“Oh, no, I wasn’t the one who made it!” I replied, playing the satchel between my hooves until I realized it may affect the composition of the treat inside. “I got it on my sixth hatchday from Kolka, the elder at my cluster of origin. I once told her that I’m making too many notes to hold them as a neat bundle of scrolls, so she had a Maker make it for me. I’m definitely not a Maker myself!”
“Why not?”
“Take painting, for example. It’s like cooking, because you also have to gather the ingredients and have a general idea about what you’re creating, but at some point you’ll need to figure out yourself how wide the line marking the stone should be. That’s insane! The thin one looks good, the thick one looks good as well, so have someling, or the Queen, decide the correct way of drawing a line!” I said. “Call me indecisive, but at least in cooking you have a chance of getting well-explained instructions. Makers have to be creative and all.”
“Creativity is a virtue which allows us to delve deeper into ourselves regardless of the caste to which we belong, but I know what you mean,” Skallit said. “That leaves us with but three: Workers, Speakers, and Thinkers.”
I winced and waved my hoof to dismiss the middle choice. “I don’t see myself as a Speaker. Being one requires some degree of leadership skills which I don’t believe I have. I’m more of a follower and I’m fine with that, as well as I’m more of a listener. I believe that by listening I can learn more, because when we speak we only repeat what we already know, and when we listen we can add to it. Uh, no offense.”
“Non taken,” Skallit replied. “Your logic is sound. How about becoming a Worker, then?”
“Oh, I could be a Worker. I’m no stranger to hard work, and although I’m not physically outstanding, I can finish the given task. It’s an interesting path, I think, and it doesn’t need much originality. I mean, paint a cluster here, clear a tunnel there, build a bridge somewhere else. I find a certain quietude in such tasks. They may seem mundane, but maybe I like mundane, and I don’t think I was hatched to do great things like the ancestors.”
Skallit shook his head. “Never sell yourself short, youngling. Sometimes the small, everyday deeds of seemingly mundane changelings are what drives the changes in the Hive the most,” he said. “I feel we’re finally getting there! Is there anything you’d like about maturing into a Thinker?”
I took a long sigh, once again facing my prime dilemma. Iqqel-Worker and Iqqel-Thinker both felt fitting to me despite being the exact opposites. It was funny, in a way. The Workers didn’t do any planning, but they followed what the Thinkers outlined. Conversely, the Thinkers didn’t do any of the actual work, but passed it onto the Workers. On the one side of the hole, I wanted to have the power to make decisions, but on the other I felt good having someling giving me instructions.
“That’s exactly my problem, Lilo,” I said. “I can’t decide between these two roles, and I find them equally important. What would you have me do? Is there a need for either caste at the moment? You guys surely have some numbers on that, right?”
Skallit’s laughter resounded throughout the pocket. “Numbers!” he shouted out. “For once, a drone who doesn’t ask about what’s trending at the moment, or what leads to the easiest life! Oh, I’m so glad we have met, thank the ancestors!” he said. When he noticed that I crossed my forelegs waiting for an actual piece of advice, he regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Erm, right. I’m sure you realize that only someone already thinking as a Thinker would ask for the advice based on numbers.”
I threw my hooves in the air. “That’s it? You’re founding your recommendation on but one word I said?”
“Not at all, and I’ll explain my reasoning in just a moment,” he said. “But before I do, would you please tell me the first name you’ve chosen for yourself?”
“I thought of Iqqel,” I replied. “You probably won’t find it on the walls because I constructed it myself. The convention follows the double consonant rule, so I chose ‘Q’ and added other letters around it. I started with ‘I’ because it’s associated with the female gender in our culture, and I thought that ‘L’ in the end will introduce a nice symmetry, and ‘E’ was the only vowel which didn’t make the name sound ridiculous. I wanted it to be short, to the point, and mine.”
“Hmm, Iqqel, Iqqel. Sounds like a Thinker’s name to me,” Skallit said, raising his hoof before I raged out at him again. “You see, while many drones choose to create their own name, not all follow the logic like you did. You took the common rules and applied them without thinking about those aspects of a name which are important for other castes. For example, those about to become Makers will often choose names that sound good. Since they will be responsible for the cultural growth of the Hive, they want their name to evoke emotions so important in their craft. Warriors, on the other hoof, want their name to carry their strength and fierceness. They want to make them sound like they were forged in the heat of battle, if you’ll excuse the metaphor.”
I scratched my head. “Huh. I guess I never thought of it that way.”
“See? You’re thinking over the issue again, and not, for instance, feeling it,” Skallit said. “You may not have noticed, but your behavior is quite specific. You expect precise instructions from the recipes. You prefer to learn through listening, not experiencing. You asked me for numbers, for raw data which you would then undoubtedly analyze. You are already—”
“I am already a Thinker at heart!” I exclaimed, springing as the mixture of relief and joy washed away what little stress resided in me. “At mind, rather. Whatever,” I added and turned to Skallit. “Lilo, I’m choosing to become a Thinker. A female one, if that wasn’t clear already. I have to admit, I’ve been leaning towards it from the beginning, but thanks to you I’ve gained a new perspective on who I really am. I am grateful for that.”
“And I am happy to have accompanied you through your discoveries,” he replied, reaching into his robes. “Now please, be seated and embrace the serenity coming from your commitment. In this crowning moment we invoke those who came before us with the words of the Litany of the Ancestors. To each name I will read from these walls, you will reply: ‘Ancestors, alter me.’ Here, put this on.”
The last thing I saw before I covered my eyes with a purple blindfold was Skallit opening the rituary and placing it between us. The sudden deprivation of one of the six senses was unpleasant at first, but I quickly welcomed the lack of distractions and focused on who I was to become.
Skallit intoned a melodious invocation.
Ancestors, whose spirits live in this hallowed place,
We call upon you for you walked these lands before us,
Look upon the one to be numbered among the faithful of your Hive!
Great Thinkers, whose duties have been long fulfilled,
We call upon you to mentor the mind, the soul, and the body,
Look upon the one to be guided along the members of your caste!
Keki-Feldora, whose deeds are written in these walls,
We call upon you in the time of the greatest of changes,
Look upon the one to be altered through the veneration of your name!
There was a pause.
From the sounds of robes sweeping the floor I could tell Skallit stood up to begin the Litany.
“By the name of Ezuo-Kassin—”
“—Ancestors, alter me,” I replied.
“By the name of Lili-Rhaani—”
“—Ancestors, alter me.”
“By the name of Saro-Terrek—”
“—Ancestors, alter me.”
Like many customs of our culture, the Litany of the Ancestors represented the ever-changing nature of the Hive, but the total number of ancestors called to a given cause was constant: forty-nine plus one. The first number was meant to represent the seven members of each of the Seven Castes, while the last one was reserved for your own patron.
“By the name of Keki-Feldora—”
“—Ancestors, alter me.”
I felt Skallit approaching so I straightened up, greeting the smooth touch of his sleeve on my face. He put a hoof on my forehead just like Kolka did earlier. “To formalize your choices, youngling, repeat after me,” he said. “Yesterday a drone, tomorrow Ezui-Iqqel of the Thinker Caste.”
“Yesterday a drone, tomorrow Ezui-Iqqel of the Thinker Caste.”
“Ancestors, Keki-Feldora, we thank you for watching over Ezui-Iqqel in the time of the greatest of changes. May your example inspire her to bettering herself for the growth of her own as well as the entire Hive, and may she never rests in pursuit of serving her fellow changelings to the best of her skills. So be it now and for all time.”
I got liberated from the blindfold. I blinked several times trying to accommodate myself to my supposedly new eyes, but they did not feel any different. Skallit opened his rituary on the inside back cover where a small rectangular mirror presented me with my brand new look. My eyes were no longer white, but they became silver! It wasn’t the most spectacular change I could have undergone, granted, but I had no doubt that I was now someling more.
“Congratulations, Ezui-Iqqel. You are now a changeling Thinker of Hive Chrysalis. Bear your name with pride!”
“Thank you, Lilo-Skallit,” I replied, giving my reflection a stupid grin. “I will.”
I nodded at the undisturbed face of Keki-Feldora. I should come back in the near future and offer a prayer to thank her for watching over me. Maybe clean this place up, as well. Most importantly, I should check the archives to learn more about her. Yes, I’ll make this my first, self-imposed research project as a changeling Thinker.
“Now that’s interesting.”
I turned around. “Hmm? What’s so interesting down there, Lilo? Wait—oh, it’s my friend! Hey, Cecily!”
I became so engrossed in my own Ceremony of Names I forgot Cecily was having hers at the same time, so when she looked at me, my heart skipped a beat. I expected to meet her mischievous, yet at the same time incredibly warm and joyful stare, but instead I saw sadness and guilt, only glimpses of those as she quickly turned her attention back to the opening entrance to the Hall of Queens. It was unlike Cecily to ignore anyone like that, and I would even feel surprised if it weren’t for the aftershock which came when my brain processed what I just saw.
Her eyes were black.
“Her eyes. Black. There’s no caste of black eyes, is there?”
Skallit shook his head. “Not as we think of it. The color of her eyes indicates that her Metamorphosis has begun. You should be proud,” he said. “Your friend is the next Queen.”
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Now this, was interesting on a variety of levels. Though certainly one I could find interesting in that its a combination of magic and genetics in how one chooses, and that one is also chosen.
Okay, time to post on a strange question or two. But I have a question to ask first.
What established ideal is Iqqel going to be fighting against?
That said, you posted last chapter, on the established colors and roles. With the little eye show here, it got me thinking, both as a nature of castes, and of color theory/psychology and the way of symbolism. The big one here are Silver and Black. Silver, is a supportive color, in its good attributes. A balance of what really one would hope to see in a thinker. Each color here, is very clearly embodying some virtue of the caste, even black. Black itself has its good sides. And perhaps of the colors here, from the castes. Silver is really what goes best with black. A quick double check, and yup, white eyes to start.
The whole symbolism here, there is tons of it, and its rife with allusions. You have an unknown warrior caste, to preside over a very different thinker. You have a close friendship, trying to balance the shift of power thrust with its own secrets and ties into the color theory again with the black eyes of her friend. Heck, silver has its own nature and symbolics for good and ill. And very strong ones too in both ways.
But it comes back around to what we don't see behind the curtain with the queen here. And thats perhaps the one thing that we can only watch. unfold. And what the choice of caste truly does. Though given things are slice of life, and not dark, its not the same queen keeping a new body with each compatible drone at first thought.
Hmm, I wanted to see the moment Cecile's eyes become back, not the aftermatch. Meh, guess I'll have to hope for a flashback.
6337220
I hate to burst your bubble, but this story has a strictly Iqqel POV, and there are certain things neither she nor the reader will learn.
6338586 Aww. Well, it's not like it hyper important. When's next chapter?
6338776
When it's ready, I can't really approximate it at the moment.
Innteresting.
Augh! Now this is going to keep me wondering forever! FOREVERRRR!
Heh. "how on depths". Nice one
Yeah, I suspected as much
I'm seeing a pattern here. It involves having very little self-confidence
She's a Thinker alright
Aand that's exactly his conclusion too. Heh.
Pfff. She analysed her name together. Yeah. Surely that's not a Thinker mindset at all.
This is such an Iqqel sentence
I keep reading her name as "fedora"
...aaand now I'm imagining the statue's ancient armour to include that as headwear
Waaait wait wait wait. Ezui-Iqqel? That's not right!
6346323
...
Ever had that really interesting and cool brother/cousin/uncle who gets all the attention, has other people look up to them, and can kickstart every party? Yeah, Iqqel's none of them.
She also replicated the exact thought process the author went through while coming up with a name for her. Looks good? Check. Sounds good? Check. Acceptable lore-wise? Check. GO IQQEL
All while humming Smooth
CriminalInfiltrator, no doubt!Dun-dun-DUUUUN!
6346572
Ah yes. I see
Again, you amaze me with your in-depth look at Changeling culture. The only one as good as this is the 'X the Hive' series.
So! What I want to know now is who is Keki-Feldora, and why wasn't she mentioned in the book?
6346323
Glad to know I'm not the only one who did that.