Accessories, Applebucks, and Item Sets (a.k.a. Weapons Update 3)
A day after acquiring the ÜberCharge…
EqU was doing practice battles in Well, practicing Capture the Flag against RED simulations. They were also trying out new kinds of hats and accessories RED and BLU wore.
Among them was an affectionate gift to Applejack. On her head was the Texas Ten Gallon, a normally white Stetson-style cowboy hat with a thin dark leather band circling the crown. It was painted Muskelmannbraun (or was it Radigan Conagher Brown?) so that it was as reminiscent of Applejack's old stetson as possible.
She was also trying out a modification of the Engineer's Gunslinger. As Thenam didn't want Jothicu to do any form of amputation, he turned it into a set of "Power Boots" called Ironbuckers. The Ironbuckers were mechanical footwear comprising segmented parts for holding the wrench (only one of them had it), wires, orange-colored casing, and pressure gauges. The reason a set was made so that Applejack's balance wouldn't be compromised should she need to run. They were also made of lightweight material and had cushioning on the inside, so they didn't weigh her down or make her uncomfortable.
Speaking of wrenches, she had a new one as well. The Southern Hospitality was a modified pipe wrench with a spiked knuckle guard and a sharp metal piece on the top. While the Ironbuckers were based on the Gunslinger, they were treated as "miscellaneous items" in the Customizer and not "melee weapon", thus allowing her to wield both the boots and the wrench.
The Ironbuckers, for some reason, disable you from building your standard Sentry Guns. Instead, you'll be able to construct the Combat Mini-Sentry Gun., Thenam's words echoed in her head. The Mini-Sentry takes less than three seconds to build, starts with full health upon deployment, costs less, and rotates and fires faster than a Level 1 Sentry. However, it cannot be upgraded or repaired, and each shot deals half the damage of the Level 1 Sentry. As for the Southern Hospitality, striking an opponent with it will cause them to bleed—that is, lose health like a burn—for five seconds. As a downside, you can't deliver any critical hits like with all other weapons, and you're more susceptible to fire. Also, remember that when you change your melee weapon, any buildings you have up will be destroyed.
After constructing a Mini-Sentry Gun right on a key point behind the dispenser, she received a warning from Rarity about an oncoming Spy through the communications system in their cards. Wary, she got to work on upgrading the dispenser, watching for anything suspicious. So far, there was nothing—then she felt her tail touch something. Immediately, she turned around—and saw nothing. Then she realized that the Spy was invisible and seemed to have halted in the backstab-turned-to-be-frontal-attack. Immediately, she swung her wrench in a 360 around herself just in case the Spy has turned around for another try for a backstab—and landed a hit. The Spy promptly dropped his cloak and fled, bleeding all the way. The Mini-Sentry quickly turned and opened fire and the Spy was dead shortly after.
Just then, she heard her Mini-Sentry get sapped. Immediately, she whacked her wrench on it to get rid of the Sapper. A second later, she decided to rear up and deliver a solid buck—and struck another RED Spy about to backstab her. 
Another advantage of the ponies over the humans; they can deliver back attacks in the form of bucks. Not all were capable of it though; Derpy Hooves was more likely to slam her butt on the perpetrator, Chronicle's Minigun was too heavy for him to deliver a kick without falling onto his face, Fluttershy usually hovers while using the Medi Gun and wouldn't do so anyway, and Twilight Sparkle was usually too focused on sniping and would sooner use the kukri.
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Elsewhere, a RED Scout was pursuing Rainbow Dash, who wore the Cross-Comm Express on her head, which was a cyan-colored brimmed cap accompanied with a headset and a pair of goggles, connected to a glowing monocle. She also carried the Intelligence and was being shot at by a pistol, but she strafed every shot.
After turning a corner, the RED Scout saw Rainbow suddenly stop and raise her back hooves. Unfortunately, he couldn't lose momentum fast enough before getting kicked in the stomach, resulting in a fatal strike. 
Just after that, the pegasus could see another RED Scout taunting her.
As the Scout pointed to the sky, then readied his bat for a swing, the pegasus was already onto him, firing with her pistol. Just as she reached melee range, the Scout completed the swing—and she was 'sent away' to the limbo room, with a "ragdoll" of her 'left behind' to be sent flying.
In the limbo room, Rainbow reminded herself to be wary of Scouts swinging their bats next time. When that happens, she'll attack out of their range, or close in faster. Whilst waiting for her turn to respawn, she thought back at one of the "sets" Thenam suggested.
The Special Delivery. Talk about speedy service! They won't see you comin'., he had advertised. Just equip the following items. First is the Milkman, a white peaked cap with a striped black band, and a shiny black visor. Second is the Shortstop, a four-barreled pistol with a pearl grip modified into a peppergun and loaded with shotgun-like ammunition. Third is the Mad Milk, which is not the nourishing sort. And fourth is the Holy Mackerel, a…well, mackerel wrapped in faded newspaper and tied with a rubber band.
If she remembered correctly, the Shortstop—while having less pellets shot and a smaller clip—was more accurate, fires faster, and its pellets were twice as powerful as that of the scattergun. The Mad Milk was thrown at enemies, just like Jarate, but it doesn't short out cloaks on Spies although the dripping milk still gives them away. And the Holy Mackerel was like the Bat in every way, only it was presumably more humiliating to be killed with a fish. Not only that, everybody is somehow informed whenever somebody is hit and/or killed with it. She didn't like holding it though as it smelled to high heaven, but she was told that when all four items were equipped, she can withstand 20 percent more damage.
Just then, she was back in the respawn room, at which time she figured the extra defense might be worth a stinky fish.
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At yet another section of Well, Derpy was getting ready to storm a RED Sentry nest with Fluttershy behind her readying the ÜberCharge.
The gray pegasus wore a gray peaked cap with a black visor, bearing an emblem depicting an icon of some kind, and modeled to resemble a police officer's cap. It was called the Wiki Cap, whatever a "wiki" was. Stitched to a pocket in her fatigues was a toy doll resembling the RED Medic appropriately called the Pocket Medic.
Her current weapon was an army green rocket launcher with tan wooden handles, a leaf sight adorned with a white insignia, and a cracked wooden shoulder-rest with a wire frame exhaust port. It was the Liberty Launcher, which shoots faster and stores one less rocket than the standard rocket launcher.
As for Fluttershy, the only new accessory she wore was the Cheater's Lament, a glowing golden halo attached to her head by two slightly crooked wires. Also, in place of her bonesaw was a statuette of a man named Saxton Hale set into a small plinth. The statuette was not plated in gold like she first thought but in a strange mineral called Australium.
When she had asked what Australium was, Jothicu explained that it was the reason behind the technological advances of the nation Australia and the technology EqU has "borrowed" from RED and BLU.
When she had then asked who Saxton Hale was, she was told that he was a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co. He was a very rich man whose pastimes are fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. "He once fought off a lion while getting a haircut, you know.", the medical researcher had said. "And sleeps with a real bear at night."
The yellow pegasus shook off those thoughts as a little ping indicated that the— "ÜberCharge is ready.", she said.
"Wait a second.", said Derpy as she completely loaded her Liberty Launcher. "Let's go, Fluttershy!"
"Here we go." She then flipped a switch in her Medi Gun and her backpack started humming with power. As she already had a healing beam trained on Derpy, the ÜberCharge began to take effect on both of them. While Fluttershy was covered in a yellow coat of energy, the coat around Derpy was colored silver.
Together, they rushed forward and Derpy started blasting the Sentry, its Engineer, and the Dispenser behind it to kingdom come. 
They proceeded further in the area, taking out anybody in their way until the ÜberCharge expired and they lost their coats of energy. They also caught sight of the RED Intelligence on the ground, which had been dropped by an EqU Spy if the dropped weapon was anything to go by. Just as they did, they saw a RED Demoman and Heavy headed their way.
"Get the case.", Derpy said in a moment of brilliant thinking. "You're faster than I am. These rockets are quite heavy."
Without question, just as the Demoman launched a grenade and the Heavy primed "Sasha", Fluttershy picked up the briefcase and the two pegasi were immediately on the retreat, leaving a trail of papers along the way.
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Pinkie Pie was burning her way into the base to get the Intelligence, despite knowing that Fluttershy has already taken it. Then again, it returns once captured. She had no idea why there was a point system in this battle, but she shrugged it off. She also had the Gas Jockey's Gear "item set" equipped.
On her head was the Attendant, a worn, gray soft cap with a yellow band sitting on top of a black curved visor and a small black bowtie. She was currently using the Degreaser, a flamethrower that comprised a gas pump, "car muffler", "exhaust pipe", a fire extinguisher, and stove top burner. Somehow, it allows her to switch weapons much faster in exchange for its damage and afterburn being reduced in comparison to the standard flamethrower. On her back was the Powerjack, an antique automobile jack with a pink large "car battery" strapped to its base with heavy, yellow rubber bands.
She encountered a RED Soldier and started burning him, who countered with shotgun blasts. After burning him up enough she quickly switched to the Powerjack, then swung it on the Soldier's head, finishing him off—and somehow healing her of his attacks. 
Just then, she was tackled from behind by a RED Demoman wielding the Chargin' Targe, an antique, blood-stained wooden shield (missing a portion that was splintered) with a painted yellow cross, an iron rim with bolts and a deadly center spike. She was sent rolling across the hall, but quickly got to her feet.
Right. I'm more vulnerable to melee while I have this hammer out., she reminded herself. She was then 'sent away' when a RED Scout took the chance to slam her on the head with his bat.
"That wasn't very nice!", she complained while waiting for her turn to respawn.
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Spike just respawned after getting 'sent away' by a Sniper's headshot. While his dragon scales would've prevented the bullet from entering his skull, the impact would've done severe or even fatal damage to his brain. He was trying out a "set" called The Expert's Ordnance.
On his head was the Scotch Bonnet, a brown "Explosive Ordnance Disposal" helmet with a damaged open visor. In his backpack was his standard stickybomb launcher and the Loch-n-Load, a double-barreled break-action grenade launcher with its two grenades loaded in each barrel. It deals more damage and its projectiles move faster than the standard grenade launcher, but it also carries less ammo, the grenades shatter harmlessly and do not bounce, and he will take more damage from his own bombs.
On his hands was the Ullapool Caber, a large "potato masher" grenade, with a white Mann Co. logo stamped on the head and black wrapping tape around the stick.. With these items together (the Scotch Bonnet was actually optional), he receives 10 percent more resistance to fire, which he doesn't deem too useful as he already has natural resistance to flames.
As he made it to the left entrance, it opened to reveal Fluttershy with the Intelligence, fleeing from a RED Pyro lighting her up. "Help! I'm on fire!", she cried out, one of the few times she raises her voice.
Immediately, Spike closed the distance, slammed into the Pyro as the pegasus continued to flee, ignoring the flames as they hit his scales, then slammed the Ullapool Caber at the Pyro, killing him and sending Spike skyward. 
At least it would have were it not for the ceiling, which he hit before falling on the ground. His 'card' registered him as taking as much damage as a RED (and BLU) Demoman would, but his scales reduced the pain he felt.
He then felt the familiar sensation of a healing beam, then turned to see Fluttershy healing him, and doused in Jarate courtesy of Twilight, who stood next to her with her sniper rifle levitated nearby. The unicorn seemed hesitant and regretful of doing what she did, but a thankful smile from the pegasus eased her thoughts.
"Get into the hatch.", suggested Spike. "The water will wash off the Jarate."
"Wow. That's a good idea.", agreed Twilight. "I'll just get the case to the silo where our briefcase sits."
As she then made her way there, Fluttershy went through the hatch and into the water, Spike following her in case of any enemies.
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Later in the battle…
At the right entrance to the EqU base (technically BLU, but EqU was occupying it), Chronicle was on guard. Like Derpy, he wore a pocket in his vest containing the Pocket Medic, though it was reminiscent of the BLU one instead of the RED. On his head was the Hard Counter, a blue umbrella hat with brown ribs and the Heavy's class icon on it. I'm gonna have to ask Thenam to modify it (the Pocket Medic) so that it would resemble Fluttershy., he thought with a smile.
He was also trying out a new weapon; the Brass Beast. It was an antique machine gun made almost entirely of brass (duh) that was around 20 percent stronger than the regular minigun, but further reduced his movement speed while firing and spinning it up took longer too.
He was mowing down the opposition trying to enter the base his way, even flash-stepping in front of one Scout to deny access. 
He had also accidentally hit an EqU Spy wearing an artist's beret (colored in An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge) with two miniature paint brushes criss-crossing on the left side; the Frenchman's Beret. Thankfully, his weapon had no effect thanks to the FFPS.
Just then, he saw a RED Sniper toss a jar of Jarate at him. He turned his hat to defend against the foul-smelling liquid, coating it with magic just in case, and the hat took most of the urine. While he still got coated in some of the piss, it wasn't as much as usual.
"Yuck!", Chronicle cried out by impulse. This distracted him as he saw a RED Soldier to his left. He fired on the Sniper, forcing him to retreat, then turned to the Soldier and mowed him down.
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Rarity—who was the one Chronicle accidentally fired on, but was thankfully protected by the FFPS—turned a corner to the shed, but saw a Pyro headed her way, so she turned invisible and retreated. Just then, a rocket hit the ground near her and sent her flying into the moat. Since it wasn't a direct hit, she didn't lose her cloak. As she hit the water and sank for a bit, she saw a RED Engineer swim past her. Immediately, she followed him as he resurfaced and fired at him with the revolver, but didn't manage to kill him as he entered the central shed in the yard.
Losing him, she retreated to look for a health kit, bypassing Rainbow Dash (who seemed to be wearing a milkmare's hat), a dead RED Pyro, and managed to see another RED Pyro get run over by the passing train. As she then crossed the tracks, the turned to the left and found the dropped intelligence. Just as she went to grab it, a RED Soldier hit her with his shotgun before getting conked on the head by Spike.
She thanked the baby dragon as they passed one another, then picked up the briefcase and made her way back to their base. Remembering a shortcut, she jumped into the moat and found a tunnel under the water. She swam to the hatch, only to remember it was one-way. But luck was on her side; it was then that Pinkie Pie used the hatch, opening it just long enough for Rarity to cross and surface.
She made it all the way to the rocket silo where their Intelligence still stands. And then a RED Scout made his way to it, snatched it, and was on his way out. There was nothing she could do about it; and there was no need for their Intelligence to be in their base before getting the enemy's. She ran to the silo, dropped the enemy Intelligence there—and they won the battle.
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"Nice work, everypony!", cheered Tasic at the end of the battle.
They were all in the trailer, celebrating another victory, the ponies and dragon relieved of their 'mercenary' gear. Thenam was currently driving while Jothicu read a map of Mann's Land.
"Okay. We got some good news.", he announced. "Other than the fact that our dear Fluttershy is no longer breaking down as much from killing, —"
"Thanks to us saying that the Saxxy just makes statues out of them.", muttered Jothicu. "In fact, her breakdown was from her hooves drawing blood or something like that."
"—The RED and BLU mercenaries are currently in Egypt, which is rather far from here. That means we can claim the areas around here while they're gone."
"You never really told us how all this will stop the war.", Twilight said.
"Have you forgotten what I told you after our first real battle with RED at Dustbowl?"
"Oh, right."
"Also, I just heard that there's another team like ours repelling RED and BLU."
"Really?!", gasped Spike and everypony.
"But I'll have to warn you ahead of time that you might think you know these ponies. You don't."
"Are they from some other kind of Equestria?", asked Pinkie.
"Yes."
"Will I see Berry Bubble?"
"Berry Bubble?"
"Pinkie's male counterpart.", Twilight explained. "I once ended up teleporting us to another Equestria where the mares are stallions and vice-versa."
"No, these ponies aren't from that Equestria. They're from an Equestria darker than yours. An Equestria that has six other ponies as the Elements of Harmony. An Equestria…where it was Princess Celestia who turned evil instead of Princess Luna." There was a massive gasp from the eight Equestria natives. And Twilight seemed to be in deep denial at this. "Oh, and an Equestria where you are one of the bearers." Tasic indicated Derpy. "Though Derpy Hooves isn't your name there." He then waited for the eight to calm down and/or spout questions, but nopony spoke. "I apologize for the shock I gave you, but I assure you there will be more when you do meet them."
"I'll bet.", agreed Chronicle. "I really think we should go to sleep now, although I doubt Twilight's gonna have sweet dreams tonight."
"Sorry about that. I forgot how sensitive she is concerning her Princess."
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And that's it for now.
"Did you know that that what you did there is a bug in the game?"
*looks at page* You're right? I didn't realize it sooner.
"Uncanny that you used both the Gunslinger and Southern Hospitality, huh?"
Yeah. As you probably noticed, I mention the "added maximum health" as "withstanding increased percentage of damage". Also, I don't know if the Chargin' Targe's charge attack counts as melee damage in the game, but I'll assume it does here.
"I thought the Hard Counter does not protect from Jarate."
It doesn't. I'll hand wave it as your magic at work.
"Gee, thanks."
The actions Rarity makes are based on this video, except for the Pyro crossing the hatch, allowing her to cross it the other way. I don't know if that is possible in-game, and I often try to keep it so aside from the bucking some ponies have done in this chapter.
"Really, what's the story plan? The plot as to why we are fighting RED and BLU?"
Actually, to tell the truth, this is just as excuse for ponies to fight in ''Team Fortress 2'' without being supported by RED or BLU like in other MLP/TF2 crossovers. Readers, if you got an idea for a plot, please comment.
"Who are we meeting, if not the cast of On a Cross and Arrow?"
That…I may reveal next chapter. See ya on Third!
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1121071
So Fluttershy wouldn't have acted the way I made her do in the quote? Also, I'd love to see a Mert The Pyro chapter. I'll try to figure something out.
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Maybe she still will. And spoilers for the "Meet he Pyro" counterpart chapter: EqU will almost get their flanks handed to them against the RED Pyro in an Arena match, and there'll be a one-on-one between him and Pinkie Pie in the climax of the chapter (both in Pyrovision and real vision) LOLLIPOP CLASH!.
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Oh, Pinkie Pie!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
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I have another quote in my head for Chronicle, but one question. Has he, or will he ever in this fiction, have a sarcastic attitude? Either way, the quote I have in mind for him is "I'm officially bored. When will the robots be here?"
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He's not that sarcastic. So no, he won't have that quote. He's never sarcastic in battle, although I might see him teasing Queen Chrysalis by calling her "Queen Cheeselegs", but that's after he's experienced the horrors of Discord and so doesn't take as damn seriously threats lesser than him. But I feel I may spoil things too much in my other fic. Still at work on the Dragonshy chapter there.
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OK. How about "How much longer 'till I can blow up those metal monsters?" Also, PICTURE SPAM!
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1121484
How else can he be friends with the keepers of the Elements of Harmony otherwise? Because that's what he is in my fic.
He's not kill-crazy!
As for the battles he's been to so far, he was fairly low-leveled when he fought Nightmare Moon, he wasn't trying to kill the Ursa Minor, he went easy on Trixie (wasn't even fighting but throwing it), and he was unprepared and going easy on Gilda while she was relentless. But this Chronicle will have <INSERT HUGE SPOILERS HERE> against plenty others (especially Discord) and thus have improved compared to where he currently is in my fic.
1121528
I haven't read your other fic, so I don't know much about Chronicle. So you know what? Forget my Chronicle quotes. Are my others usable, though? Also, do you play TF2? I'm user "Stephano /)"
1121598
Perhaps. And actually, I'm among the fanbase balf that doesn't play the game.
1124773
Really? I never would've thought.
1125197
Well, at least that's what I heard in TV Tropes, that half the fans of TF2 don't actually play the game. My brother once played it, though.
1125302
I've played it for about half a month, and I'm still terrible.
1125326
My computer's too slow to operate an online FPS game, anyway.
1125825
Thanks for pointing it out. Corrected.
1010953
Exactly why I changed it to documents. I also needed to show that BLU (and RED) now truly acknowledge EqU as a force to be dealt with.
926983
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/23/FtkPwYi1gUGBhnxpQb4WRw2.gif
Unfortunately, there is no Liberty Launcher kill icon yet in the site I'm using to make these notifications, so you'll have to settle with a regular rocket.