• Published 24th Jul 2015
  • 10,194 Views, 1,496 Comments

Split Second: An Eternity Divided - wille179



Sparkle is no stranger to death. At least when you're a necromancer, death is avoidable. Or is it? With a new body and new goals, Sparkle is ready to take on the world. Sequel to Split Second.

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Interlude 2: Call of the Dragon Lord

Author's Note:

I have to preface this chapter. My muse dragged me into a back alley, beat me senseless, and demanded I write this chapter. Now the only problem is that it's not in order. Still, since it can stand on its own, I figured I'd go ahead and publish it. That means that the chapter will have to be moved around until it finds its final home as new chapters are created.

Anyway, if you do not want to read this chapter for fear of spoilers, I will mark it as [Final Position] when it's ok for you to read.

As it is, this chapter takes place about 16 months after chapter 21, Oh Bʳother.

Of all the things to happen today, Thorn glowing was the second most unexpected thing to happen. Having asked some of the dead dragons, they quickly figured out that it was a summons from Dragon Lord Torch, the husband of Lady Evrfyr. And so, with that in mind, Thorn flew off to answer the summons and make the infernal itching stop.

But the most surprising thing of the day was that Sparkle was also glowing and itching, for the very same reason. Apparently, whatever magic had called Thorn also detected enough dragon magic in her for it to trigger as well. Thus, when Thorn flew off to answer the summons, Sparkle was riding on his back.

Soaring over the increasingly barren landscape, the two aspects of Death saw other dragons approaching, most of whom actually looked very young, late adolescent at most. The only exception was a massive pink dragoness with blue horns, whom Thorn instantly recognized. “Mina!” he called out.

The dragoness, massive for her age, glanced over at him and blinked in surprise. Gliding closer, she asked, “Thorn?”

“Heh, I’m surprised to see you here,” Thorn remarked. “Any idea what’s going on?”

“No clue. One minute, I was minding the comic book shop, and the next, I’m on the floor, itching like crazy and glowing. Everyone else in the store was glowing as well.” She cocked her head to the side. “Wait, is that pony on your back glowing too?”

Thorn nodded. “Mom’s part dragon. The Dragon Lord’s Scepter works on her as well.”

“Wait, ‘mom?’ Oh, nevermind. I remember.”

“Hello, Mina,” Sparkle greeted from atop her son’s back. “After this summons business is all sorted out, do you want to come over to our place? Thorn’s been thinking about you lately, and-”

“Mom!” Thorn shouted, embarrassed at his mother’s antics. The reaper giggled.

The trio flew towards a craggy rock field, where all the other dragons seemed to be heading. At a silent request from Thorn, both he and his mother began shifting into their “mortal” forms: a normal unicorn and a “normal” dracolich. Sparkle didn’t bother asking why Thorn wanted them that way; she was more than happy to comply.

Mina, having never seen that particular transformation, drawled, “Cool. I didn’t know you could do that.”

Thorn smirked. “A dracolich always has a few hidden tricks.”

They landed among the other dragons. Sparkle hopped off her undead son’s back as he and Mina both began to shrink down to their smallest sizes. In Thorn’s case, the time he’d spent in the afterlife meant that he was now physically older and more mature than Mina, leaving his smallest form a head taller than her’s.

A short ways away, Mina’s cousin, Garble, spotted them. He and his cohorts decided to make their way towards the two dragons and a pony, especially the latter. He growled, “Mina, Thorn. You brought a pony to a dragon summons.”

“And you brought lunch,” Thorn replied, sending the draconic teens a toothy, bloodthirsty grin. “Lovely.”

Meanwhile, Mina’s size grew slightly. “Garble, play nice.”

“Or what?” He snapped. “Is your little pansy drakefriend gonna shatter again, like he did last time?”

Thorn mockingly clutched his chest. “Oh, the pain! Your insults tear my heart out!” Then his claw clenched, piercing the scales on his chest. He didn’t flinch as black blood poured out of the wounds, nor did he react at all as the claws dug in deeper. There was a sickening crack as his ribs broke, then his hand sank fully into his chest. A second later, he yanked his hand out. Clutched between his claws was his still beating heart, though it reeked of rotting flesh. Then, smugly, he raised the putrid organ to his mouth and took a bite out of it, as a pony would an apple. With blood-stained lips, Thorn asked, “Garble, are you feeling alright? Do you need a hug?”

Garble was, in fact, absolutely not alright. He, like almost every other dragon that had witnessed or smelled the scene, was busy puking his guts out. As it was, most of the dragons were too busy being ill or putting distance between themselves and the lich to notice the massive form flying towards them until it eclipsed the sun.

With a boom, the massive form of Dragon Lord Torch landed on a pillar of stone that was suspiciously throne-shaped. Dragons of Equestria, hear me!” Torch roared. “I have been Dragon Lord for longer than many of you can remember, and my reign has been extraordinary!” He paused. Agree with me!”

A good portion of the dragons immediately agreed, but it was clearly not unanimous as many hadn’t answered. Torch, irritated by the lack of unity, demanded, “What is wrong with you all? I SAID AGREE WITH ME!”

Garble puked again.

For the first time since he’d arrived, Dragon Lord Torch took a good look at the gathered dragons and realized the state they were in. Then the smell hit him. But, rather than fall ill, Torch launched a blast of fire in Thorn’s general direction to clear the stench. “Well well, this is interesting. I smell death.”

“Well, what else would I smell like?” Thorn quipped.

The mountainous dragon grinned and nodded. “True. What indeed? Hmph.” He then addressed all the dragons. “Unfortunately, according to dragon law, it is time for me to step down. This is why I have summoned you — to compete for the throne in the Gauntlet of Fire!” Under his breath, which was still fairly loud, all things considered, Torch muttered, “Though I think I may have summoned more than I bargained for.”

Sparkle and her son shared a quiet laugh. Mina rolled her eyes and muttered, “You have no idea.”

“Whomever has the strength and fortitude to retrieve this bloodstone scepter from the heart of the flame-cano will be crowned Lord of the Dragons!” At that, he tossed the proportionally tiny scepter he was holding into the distant volcano, an impressive shot given its distance and the lack of aerodynamics involved. The moment the scepter disappeared, a blast of magical energy erupted forth and disrupted the glow of all the dragons and the sole alicorn. “The Gauntlet is dangerous, for I designed it myself! Only dragons with my ferocity, strength, and determination will be able to finish. We will gather at the cliff when the sun is at its peak!”

“That sounds fun, right Mina?” Thorn asked.

“Yeah, it does,” she agreed. “But are you competing? You just... didn’t that hurt? I mean, you have a gaping hole in your chest!”

Thorn rubbed his chest. As he smeared the foul blood away, he revealed unblemished scales. “No, I don’t.”

“Wait, you were faking that?!” Garble exclaimed. “By the great flame, I thought that was real!”

Thorn glanced at the red dragon. “Whatever floats your boat, dude.” Turning back to Garble’s cousin, he asked, “Mina, want to work together?”

“Sorry, Thorn, but I really want to do this on my own strengths,” the pink dragoness replied. “So... may the best dragon win.” She offered her hand.

Thorn grasped it and shook once. “Good luck, though my offer’s still open.”

By now, many of the dragons had dispersed to go ready themselves for the competition. Torch bent down from his throne and addressed the little group. “Lady Reaper, Lord Keeper, I would like a word with you two, please.”

An unspoken thought passed between the two incarnations of death. Thorn began growing larger while Sparkle climbed up onto his back. Up and up they went as Thorn forced his body to develop. Only once he was eye-level with Torch, who was still sitting on his tall throne, did Thorn stop growing. “Yes, Dragon Lord Torch?” the lich drawled.

“I am quite surprised that you answered the call of the scepter.”

“That magic really was quite annoying. I wanted it to stop.”

“And are you planning to participate?” Torch asked.

Both the dracolich and the pony atop his head nodded. “We are.”

“Then I have a pair of favors to ask of you two, though I am in no position to make demands of Death. I summoned dragons who are entering their prime; the best candidates for Dragon Lord. First, I ask you to spare as many of their lives as possible.” Above his head, Torch’s soul’s number ticked up by one in response to his good intentions.

“We won’t kill any of them ourselves, if that is what you are asking,” Thorn remarked. “If they kill each other, or die for some other reason, that’s their fault.”

“Haha! Fair enough. Secondly, this is a competition between dragons for the title of Dragon Lord. If I may, I ask you to fight as a single dragon, and not as the deity you two are.”

This time, Sparkle answered instead of Thorn. “Sure. That just makes things more interesting.”

He smiled. “Good.”

“I’m curious, how did you recognize us for who we are? Not many do when we are transformed and suppressing our aura,” Sparkle inquired.

“After your legendary fight with Celestia, the total lack of your presence is almost just as telling. Now...” His voice dropped down to a true whisper, one that they actually had to strain to hear. “I’m sure you two could tell that I was lying about why I’m stepping down. How much longer do I... you know... before...”

“A year at most, maybe only half,” Sparkle answered. “But nothing’s set in stone.”

“Especially where people we find interesting are involved.”

“So, how interesting can you make yourself to a young dragon and a dragon-minded pony, Dragon Lord Torch?” Sparkle asked, her voice twisting into a deathly sound.


Sparkle and Thorn, the latter in his smallest form, walked the edge of the cliff. Both were wearing an “I just made several million bits” smile. Some distance behind them, Dragon Lord Torch, looking decades younger and significantly healthier, was also making his way to the cliff’s edge.

“Dragons! Welcome!” Lord Torch’s voice was stronger than before, and the rough edge was gone. That, combined with his improved looks, made him significantly more imposing than before. Flying to Flame-cano Island is the first of many challenges you will face in your quest to find the bloodstone scepter!

Then he roared flame. The dragons took flight. Mina, who had been standing closer to the edge than Thorn, shoved past a green dragon in golden armor and jumped off the cliff. In one flap of her wings, she’d doubled in size. By two, she’d quadrupled that. And by three, the sheer size of her wings was creating enough turbulence to disrupt the flight of dragons who had thought themselves far enough away from her. With her massive wingspan, she quickly cleared the majority of the crowed, while a few explosive fireballs at the dragons ahead of her gave her the lead.

Thorn, however, hadn’t taken flight with the rest. Like Mina, he had started growing, but unlike her, he was enveloped in emerald flames. When they cleared, he was standing taller than Torch, but was nothing but bone — a bone dragon. Next to him, and during his transformation, Sparkle had dissolved into black smoke, which now wrapped itself around and inside Thorn’s bare skull.

This whole process took only a few seconds, but it was enough to put the son of Death at the back of the pack. Roaring, he took to the sky. Without most of the mass a dragon his size should have had, he was able to very quickly gain on and then overtake the group. As he passed, the other dragons scattered.

“Below,” whispered Sparkle into the lich’s mind. Without looking down, for his mother was doing that for him, Thorn dodged left and avoided the geysers of the deepwater leviathans. Others behind him weren’t so lucky.

Unfortunately for Mina, her huge size and the relative gap the other dragons were leaving her was making her an easy target for the leviathans. And yet, her size was also working for her, for rather than being knocked out of the sky, she was able to catch herself and keep flying. She lost some of the lead she’d created, and ended up flying alongside Thorn a the front of the group.

“You doing alright?” he asked his friend.

Mina smirked. “Worry about yourself!” she roared back just before putting on a huge burst of speed. Thorn laughed and flapped harder.

Meanwhile, Sparkle was enjoying herself by making chaos in the dragons that were following behind. Those who got close to them were knocked back with a simple force spell, but for those who were knocked down by water jets or other dragons, she telekinetically caught them until they could correct their flight. Very quickly the dragons realized that sheer speed and agility was what they needed, and that they couldn’t waste their effort trying to knock each other out.

And so the race continued.


Now much smaller, the re-skinned dracolich, Mina, and one other armored dragon were all in the final chamber. Thorn stood leaning against the mound of crystals, twirling the bloodstone scepter in his claws. Mina stood in the back, panting from exertion but otherwise unharmed, and the dragon in the middle — Princess Ember — was in the middle, marching towards the lich. “Give me the scepter!” she demanded.

“Hmmm...” Thorn replied playfully. “How about you try and take it from me, Ember? If you can get your claws on it before I make it back to Torch, then you can keep it. Same for you, Mina.”

The dragon princess growled and lunged for Thorn... who was actually some distance to the left, under an illusion. And, as she quite suddenly found out, so was the ground. With armor on and wings tucked tight, Ember had no time to correct her mistake before she hit the stalactites on the ground with a sickening sound. “Ugh...”

Mina, who had also raced forwards, stopped in her tracks, recognizing the illusion for what it was. Concentrating, she closed her eyes and then focused on seeing the world for what it was. She’d seen Thorn’s illusions before, the first time they’d ever met, and he’d showed her how to see through that type. When she opened her eyes, the illusion was still there, but so was the real path and the real Thorn.

With great care, Mina walked over to the real Thorn, who, despite having seen her coming, hadn’t moved. Nor had he stopped arrogantly twirling the staff. Mina stopped in front of him. She watched for a second, and then her claw shot out and caught the staff. “I win.”

“Oh, you do?”

Mina leaned in and planted a kiss on Thorn’s cheek. At that moment, his grip loosened. She yanked the staff; it popped from his grip and let out a fiery energy that soaked into her body. “Yes, I do.”

“Well then, Dragon Lord Mina, I suppose you’d better get back to Torch and claim your throne,” Thorn whispered in an unusually sultry voice.

Mina blinked, looked at Thorn, looked down at the staff, and then looked back at Thorn. “Oh buck. I really am the Dragon Lord. You just gave me the scepter. I’m the Dragon Lord!” She looked as if she couldn’t decide between jumping for joy and hyperventilating with anxiety.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Garble shouted, having just entered the cavern.

“Go,” Thorn ordered, pointing to the open sky above them, visible through the hole which the scepter had fallen in. “I’ll hold him off.”

Mina, however, had something that, for her and her alone, was a far more pressing concern. “Wait, you mean we could have just flown in through the top? I feel like an idiot.” She then spread her wings and flew out the stupidly obvious shortcut.

And, in the time it took her to voice that revelation and take flight, Sparkle, still amorphous and floating around Thorn, had fired off enough dark magic stunners at Garble to take down a dragon four times his size. He dropped like a cut marionette.

As soon as Garble was down, Thorn spared a glance down at the fallen princess, who merely had a broken arm. With a flap of his wings, he glided down to her level. Sparkle’s smoke swirled around him and rematerialized beside the lich. “Broken bones suck.” Then, reaching out with her magic, immobilized the arm and set the bone. She didn’t bother with any healing spells more complex than a basic growth-stimulant and life-force redistribution though.

“Who are you?” the princess demanded.

“The one who’s not taking you today,” Sparkle replied. “Just ask your father.”


Mina was giggling like an excited teenager, which, despite her currently massive size, was technically accurate. “Yesterday, a comic sales dame, today, Dragon Lord.”

The coronation ceremony passed without excessive fanfare. There was fanfare, as it was a coronation, but it didn’t exceed reasonable amounts. Afterwards, an irate princess Ember landed in front of Thorn and Sparkle. “What in the world happened back there? You did something to the ground, you cheater! You had that unicorn with you!”

“Ember.” The ex-Dragon Lord put a claw between his daughter and the two aspects of death. “Ember, do not mourn your loss, and especially do not take it out these two. You pride yourself on your intelligence, so use it now and understand the foolishness of angering Thornecrovitar, the Keeper of Souls, and Obsidian Knife, the Reaper of Souls.” Ember blanched at the names, while Sparkle blinked in surprise at the use of her other name. “In truth, you had no chance of winning. From the moment they declared their intent to compete, I realized that there really was no chance of any dragon winning.”

“Yeah,” Thorn said. “If I’d really wanted to win, I would have taken every dragons’ soul and enslaved them to my will. I could have killed your father at any time and taken his crown as well. Of course, your father made himself interesting to me, and as long as he continues to be, I have no reason to end his life.”

“Yes, and for that, I am glad.”

“You know,” Sparkle commented, “With a new Dragon Lord in place, Equestria is in for some interesting times. I look forwards to hearing of your successor's exploits. And Torch, remember our deal.”

“How could I forget? No, you have my word, Lady Reaper.”

“Good. And say hello to Evrfyr for me. I’m still peeved that she destroyed my body that once. Well, we’ll be off then.”

For the first time in a millennium, Torch blanched.

Comments ( 128 )

suppressing our arua,

A little typo, I think you wanted to write "Aura"

Nice. I can't wait for more.

Not really that many spoilers.:twilightsmile:I only counted one real spoiler for things that happen before this chapter and even then it was just a hint. But still a good chapter will be good to see how this all turns out.:twilightsmile:

good chapter but was hope that we would have had an more from shiny armor and Candace reaction to sparkle being alive and now death....

A different dragon is the lord. Another twist in the timeline.

do you want to come over to our lace
A second late, he yanked his hand out
you mean we could have just flowin in the top
dark magic stunners at garble to take down

1. Place.
2. Later.
3. Flown in through.
4. Forgot to capitalise.

I'm curious. I didn't think dragons died in this universe of old age. Perhaps he caught a disease? In any case, more world building.

7192558
As I said in the Author's note, this chapter basically interrupted my normal plan. I'll be going back to Shiny and Cadance (I have 1/15 of that chapter written already) soon, and I'll re-order the chapters once they are ready.

7192689 Dragons are just very long lived that to mortals they seem immortal. Probably the reason it seemed that way.

7192709 ok, that fine with me, good chapter, and great story I plan on re reading both story this weekend,

now i'm curious. what was the deal?

By the time they entered the race, every dragon was dead meat.
I bet that title will... grow on Mina.
Interesting to see how the ex-Dragon Lord... passed the Torch.
Then again, it was more interesting to read what everyone else passed.
Princess Ember really did... need a break.
I guess Garble... didn't make the cut.

Kind of a disappointment, given Thorn's nature, I would have pegged him to have charmed Ember and play thoughts of starting a harem with her and Mina, much to Sparkle's annoyance.

Omake (The Last Time Torch Blanched):

Evrfyr: "Torch, beloved husband mine, I've done news you'll surely love..."

Torch: "My lovely Evrfyr, what news could bring me more happiness than your own live and light in my life?"

Evrfyr: "I'm pregnant!"

Good God do I hope that thing Torch mentioned was a chapter yet to happen.

That'll be amazing.

With great care, Mina walked over to the real Thorn, who, despite having seen her coming, hadn’t moved. Nor had she stopped arrogantly twirling the staff. Mina stopped in front of him. She watched for a second, and then her claw shot out and caught the staff. “I win.”

7192757 That makes the most sense.

7195668
Freshly spilled, changeling blood looks reddish-gray. As the blood sits, the red blood cells start to coagulate, while the mercury separates out like oil and vinegar, making both the red and the sliver colors more extreme. After about two minutes, you'll have a puddle of crimson blood surrounded by nearly pure mercury - hence "silver blood." From Shining Armor's perspective, the blood was still fresh and flowing, and so it still looked reddish gray.

And actually, now that I think about it, it should be "grayish red" instead.

how's the next chapter coming along?

7261520
Slow. My muse took me elsewhere for a while.

7261788 at least your being honest:ajsmug: and not just dropping off the map.:twilightsmile:

I still like this story and am willing to wait:twilightsheepish:

7265515 Thankfully, I'm only a day or two away from sending off the next chapter to my pre-reader. :scootangel:

7265529 I was willing to wait way longer than that:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

7267820
Except he killed a fellow guard in front of the royal family and the queen of a race in the process of allying with said royal family. That is nothing short of political humiliation for the Crystal Empire, since it looks as if there is infighting in the guard. I wouldn't be surprised if they punish harshly in order to save face in front of Chrysalis.

7270103 since she became death and has to sort out who goes where

7270413 she just has an automatic system handling the sorting, and she sidesteps that system whenever she feels like it.
fun fact, the easiest way to get into the best parts of the afterlife is to be on her good side, rather than making sure that you deserve it.


7270955 this isn't a matter of wants, i *want* to be the supreme ruler of the universe, but i don't see that ever becoming reality. the reality in this fic is that she isn't bound by any rules and can pretty much do whatever she wants.

also, unless she knows the person personaly, she doesn't handle the judging process herself.

7271541 While you are right earning her favor has more benefits then actually living perfectly, she devised the system to speed up and make sorting the souls more efficient and the fact she made that system that outside special cases that have either earned her favor or wrath she is still fair because the system itself is fair. Now she actually is bound by the rules of the universe even if she governs one of the main aspects, aka death, she still has to follow the rules of time otherwise poof they will remove her and a new death will take her place it's one of the things she has to listen to.

7271658 since when is "be fair" one of the rules of the universe? she and twilight govern the afterlife, and if she wanted to, she could remove the system in her timeline and send everyone to the pits without consiquences beyond the social ones.

for the most part she is fair, but the fact is that nothing is forcing her to be so and she's only fair to the limit of convenience, once it becomes more convenient to be unfair, her fairness goes out the window

7271743 Never said she was forced to be fair by anything other then the system she developed, her having to play by rules of the rest of the universe goes into other things, like how down the road she will have to travel through time to take part in events in the historical past but her personal future, but yes their is something forcing her to be fair in her judgement of souls as a whole, IT'S THE SYSTEM SHE CREATED, a system that wouldn't allow her to pursue her other needed duties and desires if she decided to remove it without coming up with a replacement, and as you said yes she is fair for the most part, and again what is keeping her fair and allowing her to do for the most part what she wants outside of the things she has to do to stay in the universe is again that system she created. If you can't understand this either bring this debate to the author or reread the full series to this point in the story to find where the contradictions to what I have said.

7271754 if she can circumvent the system whenever she pleases then the system doesn't force her to do anything.

If she wanted to she could make the sorting completely random or even downright unfair and nothing would stop her from doing so.


It looks like I have to remind you that my point is that she doesn't have to be fair.

That is my entire point.

7271902 You've completely missed the point on how magical entities of that scale work. 1 she wouldn't just randomize the sorting system as her own OCD tendencies, and the issues she would face from twilight, and her parents as far as though already in or can freely visit the afterlife are concerned. 2 she does have morals they might be a little skewed compared to others but she clearly has them. 3 the system she designed takes out all the hassle of sorting the souls they just need to be delivered to the afterlife and she has seen very little need to mess with a souls placement unless they were still alive, and plays games with mortals giving many a chance to earn a better place. These games along side the system are no different in how a Jin can mess with a wish they grant and twist it into something else because the wisher wasn't specific enough. Now to finish off my example with the comparison to a creature less then a god but still with the kind of powers we expect of at least discord to have, Jin are bound by the rules that allow the to grant wishes but those rules have wholes in them that allow the Jin to twist a wish and turn it into a lesson of why you should be careful about what you wish for, the same thing applies in comparison to sparkle and her soul sorting system except she made the system she has to follow to make her life easier and thus aside from the rather few exceptions she has made she lets the system do it's job, Both the Jin and Sparkle may be cruel in their sense of humor but they still treat others fairly by the systems that bind their actions on their jobs.

7272342

she wouldn't just randomize the sorting system as her own OCD tendencies

doesn't mean that she couldn't do so.

and the issues she would face from twilight, and her parents as far as though already in or can freely visit the afterlife are concerned

i already acknowledged the social consiquences of said actions, but that doesn't mean that she couldn't perform said actions.

she does have morals they might be a little skewed compared to others but she clearly has them

i never said she didn't have morals, i said that she. doesn't. have. to. be. fair.

the system she designed takes out all the hassle of sorting the souls they just need to be delivered to the afterlife and she has seen very little need to mess with a souls placement unless they were still alive

again, doesn't mean that she can't mess with the system. you seem to confuse the words "can" and "would", they have different meanings.

and plays games with mortals giving many a chance to earn a better place

how is this fair to those that are just as good as said mortals but just didn't get the oppertunity to take part in such games?

These games along side the system are no different in how a Jin can mess with a wish they grant and twist it into something else because the wisher wasn't specific enough

what does this have to do with sparkle being unable to not be fair?

Jin are bound by the rules that allow the to grant wishes but those rules have wholes in them that allow the Jin to twist a wish and turn it into a lesson of why you should be careful about what you wish for

and sparkle is not bound by any such rule, she can do whatever she wants within her own domain, and pretty much within all domains as long as it doesn't mess with the space-time continuum.

she made the system she has to follow to make her life easier and thus aside from the rather few exceptions she has made

except for the fact that she doesn't have to follow the system, if she did have to follow it, then she wouldn't be able to make those exceptions.

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That's Luna's question as well.
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Yes. Just wait until the next chapter - I've got something funny planned for when I show what exactly Thorn did.
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The followup will come sooner than you expect.

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And Celestia can't see souls, so she couldn't immediately see why Death was doing that either.

7283414 - Future Death uses a pair of curse handguns very similar to Alucard's.

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Wrong Doom, but I thought of this because of your comment:

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Ah thank you. Looking back over the blog I miss read it the first time

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Let me point you in the direction of this comment:
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And Neece...
66.media.tumblr.com/5f0e91ed39e43de08a9dd2b95601b3b9/tumblr_nzhg6xxGH41umlhoro1_500.gif
Comments like that are what I live for! Simple praise makes me smile, but what gets me really excited is when people are invested enough into my story to dig into it deeply. Thank you for caring! :twilightblush::yay:

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It's consistent to the show, true, but the show has limitations that a story doesn't. My big concern is that this will be another one of those things that shows up in the story for a chapter or two, is relevant for the moment, and then just sort of gets stuffed off in a corner and forgotten about.

And I know what you mean about Celestia. She just has a giant chip on her shoulder for some reason and every time it seems like she's growing or learning something she just falls right back into how she used to be by the time we see her again. And it doesn't help that she doesn't seem very bright... She really should have figured out that it was Sparkle that ascended to become Death by now...

7284246

My big concern is that this will be another one of those things that shows up in the story for a chapter or two, is relevant for the moment, and then just sort of gets stuffed off in a corner and forgotten about.

I'm bad about that. I'm trying to get better at it, but it's a flaw that I've found in all of my longer works. I treat the chapters as episodes rather than continuous parts of a single narrative.

She really should have figured out that it was Sparkle that ascended to become Death by now...

Well, to be fair to Celestia, Sparkle is going out of her way to obfuscate that fact. Not saying names, saying things to make Celestia assume incorrectly, telling Shiny and Cadance to keep her secret, keeping her artificial wraith out and active (it'll make a comeback), and generally staying away from Celestia. What's more, it's only been a month from Celestia's perspective since Sparkle ascended, and Sparkle's wraith was spotted by Cadance, Shining Armor, and Trixie shortly before the plunder vine incident. Since Celestia didn't know that Sparkle already had a new body at the time and she got information contradicting that fact, and then Death appears, it would be easier for her to assume otherwise. Then confirmation bias takes hold, and Celestia starts unconsciously looking for evidence supporting her theory and ignoring the similarities between Sparkle and Death.

7284341
Well, with the first one you have gotten much better about it as the story has gone on, so improvement is happening on that front.

The thing with Celestia is mostly just that, as much as Sparkle tries to hide it, she's on a very short list of possible ponies who could have ascended. And most of the things she's done to hide herself are things that Celestia either already knows she can do, or are things that she knows are possible with dark magic in general. With how big of a chip she has on her shoulder about Death existing in general, it seems slightly odd that she hasn't put more effort into finding out more about her.

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True, and I really cannot imagine it lasting much longer either. This chapter was hard even for me to write, and I had time to sit down and carefully pick their words. Of course, with all that I've been hinting at how bad it would be for Celestia to find out, and how much the characters don't want that, how could I not make the reveal dramatic?

Ah, but about that short list, Sparkle is a crystal pony right now. That expands that list to anypony who could take over a crystal pony's body, any pony who could grow a crystal pony body, or - and here's the kicker - any crystal pony that was in the Empire at the time it was sealed. Death herself has shown the ability to mimic any tribe, and Cobalt just reminded Celestia that Earth ponies can be mages as well. Yes, the list is short, but what's left leaves a lot of unanswered questions.

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Well, I was thinking more specifically about ponies that have that kind of power in dark magic. There are others out there, since a whole class is taught to some guards about protecting themselves from it, but the number that have Sparkle's kind of power have to be fairly rare.

7283842 Yes, she did that to an underpowered Tirek whiel a Unicorn. She's currently going up against Super-Tirek as 'what-the-hell-ever this slepnir-esque thing is'.

Then again if she just kills him while he has all that magic, what would happen to said power?

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