• Member Since 20th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Aug 17th, 2023

Brony-Commentator


If I'll succeed in writing a good FIMFiction story, anyone can.

Comments ( 6 )

Your short description is completely meta, and your long description is a gigantic wall of text. Please, make both a simple short piece actually telling you what the story is about.

I advise you to read through this:
The Fimfiction Survival Guide - Fallout: Equestria Edition
It has a lot of interesting points, and you obviously start out by failing pretty hard at #7: "Write an interesting description"

6317431 Thanks for the instructions. I looked up the info you gave me, and did my best in correcting it. Hope it's better now.

Your description is a summary, I can't even read "morals of" in your cover art since it's so small, you're needlessly posing yourself as a mediocre trollbait by telling people not to troll and that it's your first time writing a story, your punctuation and narrative style are atrocious, and your story's formatting made my eyes glaze over because of your dense paragraph chunks. Overall, I was too intimidated to read beyond the first paragraph.

Did you even attempt to fix anything Nyerguds suggested, or take any of the advice from the Survival Guide? Because you're doing the complete opposite of everything that's written in it.

If you fixed all this and presented your story in a professional manner, maybe then people would take your story seriously, no matter how amateur you are. It's all about presentation. It doesn't matter how good of a writer you are. If you present your story well, you'll do well. Take Recon's Nightmare Nyx: Protector of Ponies Fo:E Nyx crossover, for example. The writing isn't the best, but it's a confident, professional-looking work of fanfiction that can stand upright on its own.

6417795

<long sigh>

I was so affraid of cliches that I fucked up everywhere else. Well, I appresciate the critique. I'm sorry you had to see this abomination. I'll do whatever I can. Can't promise anything :pinkiesad2:

And actually I did changed SOMETHING that Neyrguds said. If you were to see what I had in the description BEFORE he commented, you would have piuqed. :pinkiesick:

Spelling Mistakes(in order):shitwhole to shithole,whole to hole and Pony into pony
Language: every next pony being basically another you. into everypony basically being another you., blank-blank into blank-flank, I would have the dishonor to call "My Friend" into I would have the right to dishonor "My Friend".
Overall very nice so far, will keep updating on other chapters

6589907
I won't be able to re-edit it all properly until Friday. A lot of things are currently going on in my personal life. Also, I'm still in the process of writing the next chapter.

Overall thanks for the instructions. I'm sure now you see why I was so desperate for an editor. Thanks again. :twilightsmile:

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