I enjoy getting Comments on my Work
There was once a time where I would smile and giggle just from the sight of other ponies. What's the point in that? I would go out and play with my friends every single day. What's the point in that? I would search for my cutie mark, it was our quest. No point in that either. My quest now is to find a way to fix things, to fix everything. The trouble is I'm not sure if I can.
Editor: theRedBrony
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
731 users online
776,879 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow. Kind of intense in the beginning. Love it!
6230207 But you edited it, lol.
Cold spike writing a dark fic?
I'll be keeping an eye on this.
6230510 I forgot to tag it complete. Sorry
1. Needs a sequel.
2. Send this back to your editor.
6233011 What is wrong with the grammar? Also... I dunno. If you'd like I can show you an alternative ending to this story, something that would have been much easier to write a sequel for. But it had to go, the story lost it's grip once I wrote it.
6233313 I managed to find 15 mistakes. Also, the ending makes no sense. There has to be a purpose for the book.
(But yeah. I would like to see the alternate ending.)
6233458 Why does the ending make no sense? Also, what kind of mistakes? Spelling? I usually catch those but gdocs has been particularly glitchy lately.
6233458 Someone I know is informing me I have too many comma splices... I can't believe I still have not fully fixed those in my writing style.
6233601 Like I said...
Apparently she finds what she was looking for, but doesn't use it.
6233681 Oh... I was trying to imply that she is going to. I figured the wicked grin and the thing she said about death was enough.
6233687 Ah. (As I said... sequel.
)
6233791 Maybe. Do you want the gdoc for the alt ending pmed to you? I must say the comma splice thing is bugging me... I gotta start editing my work more.
6234285 Sure. Go ahead.
Feels almost like an alternate take on End of Ponies, the main difference being the Sun still being there and Scoots seeming to find a solution at the end.
You do a pretty good job on her mindset, showing her slowly sinking into the depths of despair, bending but never quite allowing herself to break, always trying to find a solution. She won't, she can't allow herself to stop as that would be giving up. The impression I've always had of Scootaloo is that she's a fighter, not in the sports sense, but rather the pony with an indomitable will that would be the figure others rally around. Her ingenuity in getting into the one guarded room, and her toughness to stagger on after falling into a cell and patching herself up fits in with that classic Scootaloo image.
I have to wonder exactly what the artifact Daring Doo passed on to Rainbow Dash passed on to Scootaloo is. The mention of it glowing red and it being an Amulet makes me think of it's another Alicorn Amulet, one that gives pegasi (and earth ponies) the ability to use unicorn magic, though (at least so far) without the corrupting effects of the one Trixie wore.
I was curious about how Scootaloo was doing for food and water, with the sun hanging in the air, and your mentions of it getting hotter and the castle running out of food and water slowly disappearing satisfy that.
The only thing that really isn't answered is what caused this whole apocalypse, and the precise nature of it. One of the flashbacks mentions ponies disappearing, which implies some sort of massive black magic spell requiring a large amount of sacrifices that took out every pony except for Scootaloo (hence the reason I'm reminded of End of Ponies).
I *do* get the ending, unlike the other comment. The only thing it doesn't answer is who Scootaloo would revive first, as it sounds like she needs a body for it to work on. Celestia would be my first guess, if Scootaloo can find her body. I suppose I'll take a link to that alternate ending you mentioned as well.
6279060 I can see the comparisons you've made to End of Ponies, but in my world I kept the cause of death a mystery on purpose. However I wanted to try and imply that her necklace protects her from whatever it was that killed everypony else. One could argue it is essentially an Alicorn Amulet, but it works on anypony. Is she evil from activating it? You tell me
That was pretty neat. :)
7140882 Thank you!
Sooo thinkin about making a sequel
7253032 Maybe if I can get around to it. Did you enjoy it?
Ohhh! This was goooood.
10082875
Thank you!
I wish there was a version where this scootaloo opens a dimensional gate that lands in another equestria (or series) i think people would find that interesting
11118324
Reflection of Nightmares
Not the same thing, but similar.