• Published 17th Jul 2015
  • 1,840 Views, 79 Comments

Chasing Smoke - GreyGuardPony



Trixie Lulamoon and her fellow Elemental Bearers have come to Naqah, the land of camels and jinn, chasing a legend. Stories speak of a bottled army that Corona, the Tyrant Sun, now seeks. Can Trixie and co keep the past buried? A Lunaverse story.

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Epilogue

There had been a rearranging of the pecking order among the ghul tribes of the Abbor-Alz. Scythe Claw was dead. Dead by jinn hooves and jinn magic. The fire had been so powerful, that it had kept on going, shattering their grand statue of T’arek as well.

Blackwing picked through Scythe Claw’s old chamber. Formerly the leader of the tribe’s hunting parties, now he was the new agha. Ruler of the tribe. The one stuck with picking up the pieces.

Reaching the altar where Scythe Claw always conducted his rights and prayers, Blackwing picked up the small statue of T’arek that always rested on its surface. He stared at it, considering just what glory the dark lord had brought them. All the power he had given Scythe Claw had come for naught in the end. Snorting, he tossed the statue over one shoulder.

“Weak-weak.”

A cold wind rushed through the chamber, sending a chill straight through his bones. Blackwing gave a startled caw, hopping back from the altar, where the breeze seemed to have come from. But then he creeped forward again, poking around the stone slab. It turned out that there was a small alcove carved into the rock, where another statue had been stowed. It was covered in dust, apparently having been there for years.

The creature it depicted was hunched over it’s leather like wings, almost like a bat, were hunched forward partially shielding its head. Brushing the dust away with a talon, he took in the glittering red eyes made from small rubies that peered past a long, thin beak. Blackwing snorted. Another worthless trinket.

He was about to toss it aside when a soft murmuring sound rippled through the room. Blackwing blinked, twisting back towards the cave entrance, half expecting to see the braying naysayers that had doubted his rise standing there.

Nothing.

...show you greatness…

Blackwing turned his head back towards the statue, the whispering growing more intense.

And he listened.

- - - -

Every emir was crammed into the High Chamber today. Sultan Pirinc knew each of them by name and reputation, especially the sea of new faces among the old. The rebellious nobles were finally dealt with and banished from his lands, while their leader would remain locked up, and his hoof picked replacements were settling into their roles nicely. Now with the internal threats dealt with, Naqah could focus its attention on external matters.

“My friends,” he called, bringing the room to order, “I am pleased that our civil strife is now at an end. I would now like to call the chamber’s attention to the other matters on the docket. Starting with Tripalania.”

At the mention of their south-western neighbor, emir Isildayan Elmas immediately jumped to her hooves. The elegant camel was invested heavily in Naqah’s shipping concerns, so Pirinc wasn’t the least bit surprised at what she said.

“While we remain glad that Ofkeli Grev has been dealt with, there is one position he took that remained sound! We have dealt with the depredations of their raiders and pirates for long enough! Let Naqahn shot and Naqahn steel drive them from their coves and annex their little strip of land!”

The rest of the chamber erupted in cheer and the hammering of hooves on their tables. Again, Pirinc wasn’t surprised. Pirates were about as popular as Corona herself as far as the world was concerned. It was even an old bit of Equestrian legislation that declared pirates hostis creaturae generis. Literally, enemies of all creature kind. Removing the corsairs would make the seas safer for all.

“So be it.”

His eyes roamed down the page to the next, more tricky, item. To the north of Naqah, across the small crescent shaped sea of the same name, a collection of small pony kingdoms sat. Not part of the Equestrian hegemony, even their names seemed to change every few years, as governments changed and rearranged. And as Naqah’s nearest neighbors it sometimes felt like they were always mooching off their comparative wealth. The suggestion to annex them had come from emir Buyuk Dag.

The mountain of a camel didn’t wait for prompting, standing to his full height. “Honored sultan. In light of Corona’s actions against our nation, I believe that Naqah must advance and expand. These countries and the vast swathe of unclaimed land beyond them are our future.”

“I renew my objection to this absolute madness!”

The chamber looked at once towards the one non-emir in the room. Imam Kutsal Senaryo, head of the grand temple of the prophet, was fuming. The elder camel swept his gaze around the room, his whole body practically trembling with fury.

“The Pillars of the Dragon are very clear! Charity, benevolence, integrity! How is going out and building an empire- because that’s what you’re doing- follow any of that!”

“What about the charity for our citizens? Those are pony lands. We have already seen that pony and camel magic working in concert can achieve great things. It would help our nation truly thrive!”

The chamber exploded into fury of arguments as every emir began to shout over each other to make themselves heard. Sighing, Pirinc shook his head for a moment, before slamming his hoof against his table.

“ENOUGH!”

The babble ceased as quickly as it had began, everyone now focused on him.

“I will need time to consider this. We will revisit this decision next week. But, for now, I want the diplomatic corps to feel them out. See how willing they might be to join Naqah voluntarily. Now, leave me.”

He closed his eyes as the emir filed out of the chamber, focused on his own internal debate. Had he been paying closer attention, Pirinc might have noticed the shifty glances that passed between some of his newly raised nobles. He only opened his eyes again when a single set of hoof beats approached him again.

“Still unsure about Buyuk’s proposal?”

Sighing, Pirinc got to his hooves glancing towards his friend Parlak. “I hate it how he is both right and wrong at the same time. Here we sit, alone, the only camel land on the continent. Is it really wrong to want our country to be on a more even keel with Equestria? Should we make ourselves more powerful, in case Luna fails?

“The former...well, that is a question that every ruler struggles with at times. And the latter? That does assume Corona attacks. Assuming Luna fails.”

“What do you think the chance of that is?”

Parlak shrugged. “The Element Bearers are not soldiers. But they are clever and resourceful. I would say it comes down to how many forces Corona can bring to bear.”

Pirinc closed his eyes in thought again. “Send a message to Princess Luna. Naqah will officially back Equestria in any current or future conflicts with the Tyrant Sun.”

“...Are you sure that you wish to tie us so closely to Equestrian matters?”

“Corona was already willing to conduct an assassination to gain an advantage! I would argue that we’ve already become tied to Equestrian matters. And if we’re going to have the Tyrant Sun backing a rebellion in our back yard, then I would rather be damned for the full measure, rather than the half act.

“As you wish sultan.” Parlak bowed.

As Parlak strode off to see his will done, Pirinc offered a mental prayer to the prophet. May this world see nothing worse than the likes of Corona.

- - - -

A few thousand miles to the north, in the jagged mountains that formed the border between Equestria and the Griffin Kingdoms, Celestia’s volcano home was hidden. The solar alicorn sat upon her gilded throne, eyes closed in deep thought.

The offer from the Naqahn rebels had been sitting in the back of her mind since returning from the Contest of Champions. In a way, being approached to conduct an assassination was almost...delightfully quaint. As if she, Celestia, the dawn itself, was some common blade for hire! Had the rebel ambassador not mentioned the Army of Smoke and Fire, she might have thrown him into the lava then and there. As it stood, he remained her “guest”, in the volcano palace, so that its location wouldn’t be leaked. The Army of Smoke and Fire, and a Naqhan army to lure her sister’s forces away from Canterlot would be quite the prize. Still, actually conducting an assassination….

She opened her eyes to the sound of creatures entering her domain. Kindle, her voice and herald, was in the lead already bowing low in a sign of respect. Terrorwing and a few of the salamander tribe followed behind. While Terrorwings’ fowler than usual mood was something she’d have to ask about later, that wasn’t what truly caught Celestia’s eye. A jinn floated at Kindle’s side, slumped over and head hung. Celestia raised a flickering eyebrow.The elemental spirit’s melancholy was uncharacteristic. Usually, they were strictly as smart or emotional as the camel that controlled them. Unless….

“My queen, I have returned from Naqah with news.”

“What news of the Army of Smoke and Fire my faithful servant?”

“It has been...destroyed, by the Element Bearers.”

Celestia glowered but wasn’t surprised, if she was honest with herself. Those ponies had consistently proven themselves to be more capable than first guessed.

“Who is that jinn with you?”

“Bogucu Yangin. Choking Fire.”

It seemed that her guess was correct. This was one of the greater jinn that had risen in rebellion not long before her banishment. She could sense the power radiating off the jinn. The Army of Smoke and Fire may have been gone, but another opportunity might have just presented itself.

“Give me her anklet, then leave us.”

Crawling forward, Kindle popped off the platinum anklet and offered it to Celestia. The alicorn took it in her magic aura, loosely turning it over to examine its magic and construction, while Kindle backed out of the room. Slowly stepping down from her throne, she began to circle the jinn.

“There isn’t much that I need from you Yangin. I aim to take Canterlot and I will need your magic to help me do it. What say you?”

A flaming loogie struck her in the face, making her stumble back in shock. The flames might have been unable to hurt her, but Celestia wasn’t any less angry.

“Thou DAREST?!”

A deep laugh echoed through the throne room. Celestia shot a furious glare at the golden eye that peered in through the window. Solrathicharon, the ancient red dragon and her ally laughed again.

“My, is that a jinn I sense?”

“Yes. A very obstinate one!” Celestia said, practically spitting.

“Powerful though,” Sorlath said, tilting his head to peer at the anklet. “And a powerful trinket. Perhaps if she doesn’t wish to cooperate, o queen, she could join my hoard.”

Celestia was about to admonish the dragon for wasting her time, when Yangin raised a hoof into the air. She brought it down in a sharp stabbing motion, stomping it against the throne room floor. For a moment, Celestia wondered what the jinn had meant to accomplish with that gesture. But then there was a loud crack sound of stone tearing way from the volcano’s wall and a roar of shock and pain- more the former than the latter- followed by a splash of a large draconic body hitting the magma below.

Yangin now stood defiant glaring right at Celestia. “I may have just been given into bondage by my sister and one of the few beings I’ve trusted in my existence, but I have not fallen so low that I will tolerate rotting away in the hoard of a blind lizard! Do your worst o Tyrant Sun! If I am to die, I will die on my hooves!”

Celestia fumed, considering giving Yangin exactly what she wanted. But then a second thought stirred in the back of her mind. If she was depressed enough to not fear destruction, then a lighter, different touch would be required. Besides, the jinn’s statement about her sister...intrigued her.

Sorlath came soaring back out of the magma roaring with unrestrained fury. “Come out little jinn! I will show you exactly why that was a mistake.”

“Hold Sorlath.”

He growled at the truncated name as expected, before pulling away to fume somewhere else. Celestia regarded Yangin carefully for a moment before speaking.

“You have my sympathies. It’s not easy to feel the sting of betrayal from family.”

Yangin snorted back. “You’re a mad mare. You don’t know anything about how I feel.”

Celestia ignored the insult, beginning to slowly circle her. “I know that you’re asking yourself ‘Why?’. That you’re asking yourself what you missed, if it was something you did, or if there was something you could have done.”

Now some of the bravado seemed to leave Yangin, the fire of her mane falling lower. Putting on the nicest smile she could, Celestia placed a wing on her back. “Trust somepony that knows. You most likely did nothing. Sometimes...siblings just turn to darkness.”

Before she could react, Celestia found herself in the vice like grip of the jinn who was now sobbing. Celestia was frozen in place, eyes wide. For one of the few times in quite a long while, she didn’t know how to react. Yangin was neither afraid of her, nor interested in showing her the respect of her station.

“I should have looked harder! I...I thought she died during the rebellions! This is my fault!”

Bringing her wings around in a loose hug, Celestia picked up her train of thought again. Again, the light touch was needed here. “No. It is not. It is no more your fault than what happened between my sister and I. But the tragedy need not be the end of things.”

Vanishing out of her grip in a gust of wind, Yangin re-appeared across the room glaring at Celestia, anger and bitterness having replaced the sorrow.

“And this is where I learn to serve the solar throne? To kiss your golden shoes as some disposable minion?”

Celestia approached Yangin again, kept her face even. She wouldn’t rise to the jinn’s taunts and mood. “Actually, I had something else in mind. You and I, oddly enough, have a few things in common. We both have the the wisdom of age at our disposal. We both have traitorous siblings.”

“What are you saying?”

“When I take back Equestria from my own back stabbing sister, I will still need competent creatures to help run things as the government is reformed. What I offer you is a chance to be a part of that. You’d never have to worry about being bound, controlled, and made to grant wishes again.”

She could see Yangin beginning to waver, the jinn chewing on her lip. “Seriously? It was your pony who took me!”

“An eager servant, trying to make something out of a failed venture. It would never happen again. You would have a place in a new, shining Equestria. No pony would ever control you again.”

Drawing even with Yangin again, she placed the platinum anklet between the two of them.

“Bogucu Yangin...will you accept my friendship?”

Author's Note:

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

Is it wrong that I was kind of proud of that bit at the end, with Corona's call back line? Also, totally not telling you if Yangin took the deal or not. You're just gonna have to wait and see if she pops back up in future fics or not. So, nya. :derpytongue2:

And we can see that one of Corona's decisions has backfired on her, on the international stage. Figured it would happen sooner or later.

Comments ( 28 )

6318409

Thanks Draco!

Tirek's magic draining from the main show turned out to click rather well with ghuls and their whole eating things nature. I consider that a happy little accident of writing. :twilightsmile:

I might have to give that fic a look though.

Well, she'll still come in handy when somepony loses a buttload of attitude and realizes that yes, she's been the problem all along. Good thing alicorns are optimistic by design....otherwise, the crap Corona did will give Celestia worry lines.

Not part of the Equestrian hegemony, even their names seemed to change every few years, as governments changed and rearranged.

Ah, the Balkans. When the human race was young, people were killing each other in the Balkans. When the Romans took the entire Mediterranean basin as their own, people were killing each other in the Balkans. When the Turks and Austrians and Russians waxed strong, people were killing each other in the Balkans. When Europe was forging mighty empires, people were killing each other in the Balkans. When the human race dies out, people will be killing each other in the Balkans. And when our star grows cold and dies...people will still be killing each other in the Balkans.

The vistas are apparently quite beautiful, though.

“I should have looked harder! I...I thought she died during the rebellions! This is my fault!”

Most likely she didn't look precisely because she was afraid that Dunya might have been dead, and finding proof of that. Not being 100% certain gave her a way to hold out hope that she was alive.

6318905

Well now I have read the end. Hmmm I'm starting to see patron here. Is by chance/fate/Discord doing a team being assembled to go on front against the Luna six? Lets see.

Zecora
Solrath
Terrorwing
Kindle
Bogucu Yangin

Only one more creature and Corona would have 6 heralds of her own against Luna's 6 elemental bearers. :ajsmug:

Anyway I loved this story. It had really great world building and I can't wait for that other story of yours to be continued as well. Always love Skitchverse Trixie combine that with Lunaverse Trixie is always an epic win in my books. :raritywink:

6319022

I may or may not have added in characters that exist as morality pets for Corona. But I will not confirm any of that. No sir.

6319502

Yeah, manic Dunya didn't really survive Emeral and I's intense editing process. This way does work better, though I will miss Lesson Zero jinn. :derpytongue2:

I did pretty much guess that those little kingdoms were the Lunaverse version of the Balkans the minute I saw them on the map. It just made sense. Glad that it didn't seem like I was wrong. You're not too far off on Yangin's motivations about her sibling, either.

6320269

I doubt that it's going to be that one for one. The only thing that's keeping Yangin and Sorlath from being at each other's throats is the presence of Corona.

Greater/Elder jinn actively hate dragons. Being bound to trinkets made of precious metals and gems, and also being able to make precious metals and gems, they make very tempting targets to wind up in dragon hordes. And they react to dragons who try it, violently.

I got to thank Emeral Bookwise for helping me with this fic. He was really the driving force behind the Element Bearers having their conflict over Yangin, and how they clashed with each over it.

About time you gave me some credit... I tease of course. Seriously, however, I was glad to be of whatever help I could. I know that my often zealously nitpicky editing approach can make me a bit hard to work with at times, but I'd like to think the results usually pay off in the end.

I mean, if they didn't why would anyone put up with me... :twilightblush:

Anyway, I've been keeping tabs on this fic as you published it. Sorry for the lack further of commentary, but as with our previous work together on Past Remnantss, I pretty much already said just everything worth saying during the our extensive editing sessions.

Yeah, manic Dunya didn't really survive Emeral and I's intense editing process. This way does work better, though I will miss Lesson Zero jinn. :derpytongue2:

Hopefully you won't have to "miss" her forever. I'd still like to think that there's still potential to swing her back in that direction in a potential sequel that goes into more explicit depth on her twisted magical experiments.

6321952

I think that nitpickery is one of the reasons you're good at editing. In both the fics we've basically worked together on, you've forced me to kill my sacred cows and take a second look at scenes and ideas, but also give good suggestions on where to take things.

You do have a good point about using her again though. I did write in a few Season 3 escape hatches for me to come back too, if I can't really get into the arc of Season 3.

6355976

Just wait till you get to the Epilogue. I won't say that it fixes everything, but there is a little more to Yangin and Corona.

The creature it depicted was hunched over it’s leather like wings, almost like a bat, were hunched forward partially shielding its head. Brushing the dust away with a talon, he took in the glittering red eyes made from small rubies that peered past a long, thin beak. Blackwing snorted. Another worthless trinket.

I'm completely missing who this could be a reference to.

An anti-pirate campaign? That's always good clean fun.

“I will need time to consider this. We will revisit this decision next week. But, for now, I want the diplomatic corps to feel them out. See how willing they might be to join Naqah voluntarily. Now, leave me.”

Well, voluntary would be better than the alternative, and I have a feeling that the alternative would make certain other international players somewhat unhappy.

Pirinc closed his eyes in thought again. “Send a message to Princess Luna. Naqah will officially back Equestria in any current or future conflicts with the Tyrant Sun.”

Excellent. All by itself this new outcome of the trip to Naqah may overall make up for loosing Yangin to Corona.

As Parlak strode off to see his will done, Pirinc offered a mental prayer to the prophet. May this world see nothing worse than the likes of Corona.

:twilightoops:
Now that prayer is simply a bad idea.

I like Yangin's attitude.

Before she could react, Celestia found herself in the vice like grip of the jinn who was now sobbing. Celestia was frozen in place, eyes wide. For one of the few times in quite a long while, she didn’t know how to react. Yangin was neither afraid of her, nor interested in showing her the respect of her station.

:rainbowderp:

Vanishing out of her grip in a gust of wind, Yangin re-appeared across the room glaring at Celestia, anger and bitterness having replaced the sorrow.
“And this is where I learn to serve the solar throne? To kiss your golden shoes as some disposable minion?”

Ooooo, and she's no fool, too.

Drawing even with Yangin again, she placed the platinum anklet between the two of them.
“Bogucu Yangin...will you accept my friendship?”

Huh. Now that I did not see coming. That does indeed pull back my irritation at this development a little.

6382912

Thanks for catching that typo.

And how could I not use the tulip craze?! It's just a ridiculous bit of history and the quirks of Equestria let me make it into an overdone culinary trend in addition to the overdone gardening trend it was in real life! That's just fun! :pinkiehappy:

6388903

Yeah....not exactly her smartest decision she's ever made in her life. :twilightoops:

6389100

That's not a bad summary really.

The singing goblins from The Hobbit cartoon did creep me out as a kid. Scary designs that looked like they had two throats when they opened their mouths for some reason! :fluttershysad:

6389164 I saw the Hobbit cartoon... once. Just didn't do anything for me.

6389581

Ehh. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to sit here and claim that it's some kind of forgotten masterpiece. Most of it is very...odd, and not all of the designs really work. The one thing that I think it did better than the Peter Jackson version was Smaug's attitude though.

I liked his dismissive, almost bored attitude while talking with Bilbo, more than the aggressive version in the Peter Jackson version.

6389661 Well, like I said, I've seen it once. And I don't even remember much about it, if anything more than the vaguest of impressions.

And done. So, a nation sides against the Mad Alicorn... and she's tricked Yangin, possibly. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Very nice fic, Grey. Very... atmospheric.

6389779

Thanks RK! Glad that you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Took me a bit, but I finally got to reading this story in full! I very much enjoyed it overall. Yangin is by far the highlight of this story for me. I found her character to be pretty engaging and sympathetic, and I'm oddly kind of glad to see how she ended up with Corona if only because I think those two will have an interesting dynamic. Almost makes me wish this had taken place prior to Contest of Champions just so I could have Yangin running around with Corona and company on the island.

The ghuls were cool as well, and a good addition to the Lunaverse's menagerie. I saw the Skaven influence pretty fast (or should I say "quick-quick"?) and I like the idea of there being species that barter with various powers from Tartarus to gain magical abilities. I think you did about as well as you could showing straight out combat and warefare without going into grimdark overload.

The L6 all got to shine a bit in the battles, though I'd say Cheerilee and Ditzy were the only ones to really have a serious narrative impact as their interactions with Yangin were the real crux of the character development this time around. Which is fine, the rest of the L6 do their job in the supporting role, and Cheerilee and Ditzy are fine having the character spotlight for this story.

Also it was good to get a look at Naqah and get a feel for the country and its inhabitants. A part of me wishes you could've found a way for the L6 to spend a bit more time getting a taste of the local flavor and atmosphere, but I understand that might've been hard to do with the whole pressing need to get after the Army of Smoke and Fire. We do manage to get a decent amount of flavor regardless, and its enough of a building block that future stories set here have some foundation to work with.

6433134

Thanks for the nice words Vex!

In retrospect, doing it before the Contest of Champions would have been a decent idea. Wish that I had thought of it at the time, really. Ah well. Hopefully you and the other writers will be able to use Yangin in the future.

I am now angry at you for what you did to Yangin.

She and Cheerilee had better get a dedicated and heartwarming reconciliation scene, or else I shall be thoroughly cross with the lot of you.

I shall be thoroughly cross indeed.

6579011

Don't worry, there's plans!

....Yes....plans.

7018795

It's not an invalid read on her character. Yangin is supposed to be this mix of irreverent and beaten down by the world. She was a bit more cheerful back in the early days of her life. Glad you liked that line though!

:fluttershysad: Poor Yangin.

Before she could react, Celestia found herself in the vice like grip of the jinn who was now sobbing. Celestia was frozen in place, eyes wide. For one of the few times in quite a long while, she didn’t know how to react. Yangin was neither afraid of her, nor interested in showing her the respect of her station.

Aww :fluttercry:

Oh no, the bad guys learned the power of friendship! We're doomed!

7264173

That goblin song really is too good to not use in some capacity! It's a bouncy little tune about murder and eating people.

And yes. Celestia *is* learning.

7456231

Alas, I can not take credit for The Great Dragon Coronation. That was Rainbow Double Dash. Thanks for catching the spelling for me though.

What was the new daemon with wings at the end?

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