• Member Since 22nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 5th, 2015

Gunsmith


T

After some apocalyptic events, a man awakens in a land he recognizes all too well, in the house of a cyan blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane, with a body that is not his own. Simply put, this is the story of how he copes with his new life and with the relationship he shares with Rainbow Dash.

Chapters (22)
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Comments ( 345 )

Well, it certainly is well-written. I'm interested in seeing where you'll take with this.

Also:

"various Tom Clancy novels"

An author after my own heart. :derpytongue2:

This looks really good. Please continue.

that was a great first chapter,you got me hooked:rainbowdetermined2:

This seems a lot like my story. A lot like it.

Gunsmith? check
Badass? check
Character is from Ohio? Check (Youngstown to be exact)

I could name more but I am busy reading.

Not bad though even if you are copying. (I'm not claiming you are but I can't discount the fact you might be)

(A link to my story for evidence: 'Devil's Due')

All American, thank you for pointing out the similarity to your story. I'm hoping the following chapters will be less similar to your story or any other, but I will state that it is quite hard to come up with a scenario leading to the events I plan for my story. The character in the story is based upon myself, and this is fairly close to what I am like, save the age (and being a badass; I had no intention of coming off as one, I consider myself more of a nerd, but thanks for the compliment whether you meant it as one or not. I do indeed strive to become a gunsmith, and live in Ohio.). I had no intention of plagiarizing any story, and I have never read Devil's Due; though I may have to do so, now, both to avoid too much more similarity and because it seems like I would enjoy reading it. Again, I sincerely apologize, and had no intentions to copy you or anyone else.

Thanks to all you others who have read, commented upon, and rated the story; I greatly appreciate it. I should be releasing some more chapters soon, I am nearly done with the second chapter already.

I'm trying to stray away from the stereotypical versions of this type of story and create something that is familiar to read in a good way. If I begin to head towards a stereotype (making myself more badass than I really am, overdoing things, etc.), please, show it with comments and ratings.

Again, I really do appreciate this stuff. Thanks for reading!

*looks around* Good I see no flames...That means... Keep writing

641686

Well, I am an actual gunsmith but I never actually stated my character's previous life. Now that I have read this, I can see that there is a stark contrast between our stories and I retract my previous statement.

Carry on son.

The only flames that will be in this story will be those inside a forge, a furnace, an oven, or a reference to them, so try not to fear for now.

All American, glad I could clear that up, hopefully my second chapter (which I am releasing shortly) will continue to please. I also envy you for your excellent career.

On to writing, tally-ho!

Chapter Two is released, and is twice as long as One. The fun has been doubled, no?

The main basis of the story begins there. Consider Chapter One a prologue and an introduction to my writing methods.

I hope you all enjoy. Chapter Three will most likely arrive this weekend.

Again, feedback and criticism is greatly appreciated!

Interesting...

Go on.

*waits for more*

Chapter Three released. Dialogue and sandwiches are fun, right?

Tell me what you think, everyone.

Well you have 2 options.. Keep writing. or don't and i come look for you and make you write. See all good. :pinkiecrazy:

Glad you like it, Rarely. I don't plan on stopping now, the OCD in me is preventing me from doing that.

Also, I'm noting a few more dislikes have been added. What's up, readers? Tell me what is wrong with my story; I want to improve it, truly, but I need feedback from you all to do so. Leave comments saying what you like and don't like, alright? I'll attempt to shape the story to make it better and a more enjoyable read.

Thanks again, everyone.

Edit: I noticed the end of Ch. 3 was a bit on the Shegorath side; I had been working on 3 for about 4 hours straight, I must have been pretty worn out by 3 A.M. last night (err, morning?). Redid the ending a bit more seriously. Ch 4. will be coming soon.

Chapter Four. Less pain, more muffins. Again, feedback from you guys for me is like Apple family cider for Dash. Leave a comment about what you think of the chapter, a different chapter, the story, my mother, I appreciate it all greatly, be it criticism or praise (except maybe in the case of my mother, I don't take kindly to that).

Also, Chapter Five may be coming sometime Monday, maybe Tuesday. I apologize that there will most likely be a time delay. Being a closet brony means PC time is a hard commodity to acquire without detection.

I've written a story called Dropping In that is an HiE fic as well. Creepy. I apologize in advance for lacking any feedback for you, as romance stories are ones I tend to avoid. Just, the title caught my eye. As in All American's case, the story is not the same as mine, even if it shares some elements, (In my fic, the character meets his favorite pony and goes on an adventurous romp to save the entire universe, which is, as far as I can tell, not what this story is about, at all.) so don't worry about it.

"Crystal Pelvis"

:rainbowlaugh:

Good chapter.

I do not see how anyone can really hate this. Is it because it isn't a clop? Like, c'mon. This is pretty good. I don't read many stories on FIM for a reason. I get dissapointed.
This is an exception.

Your story seems pretty awesome to me. I don't understand all the thumbs down, but i think if more people stumble upon this, the amount of thumbs up will increase. You're doing a great job at giving descriptive detail and showing the characters personalities. I always enjoy a good story about some new character ending up in Ponyville. Please continue, looking forward to it.

658487
Where do you usually go to read better stories? Equestria Daily?

hey this story is going pretty good so far earth blows up, get sent to equestria...yep thats a dream come true..lol but seriously besides nothing to interesting has happened and it drags on a bit in the last two chapters thats the only thing that sticks out as why someone would dislike this story. Still cant wait to read more! :derpytongue2::pinkiehappy::rainbowwild:

IncoherentOrange: I'm too lazy to check the dates on who created their story first, but either way I know that's purely coincidental. When thinking of a title, I was hoping I wouldn't mistakenly use a title extremely similar to another; looks like I came close, haha. I am glad, though, that our stories differ in context; I despise plagiarism as much as an English teacher, and have no intention of plagiarizing anyone, even if by accident.

DMDeck: I enjoyed writing a story within a story, especially one about an obvious play off of another hat-wearing treasure hunter many are familiar with.

All American: So have I. Forty-eight hours is too long to be away from my computer. Ch. 5 is coming ASAP, as are other chapters.

All others: Thanks! I appreciate the feedback, guys. Positive feedback is a nice bonus, too. I'm just going to keep writing until I feel I've made a proper story. And again, my apologies for taking some time on this. It would be nice if I could write nonstop; for now, bear with me.

Chapter Five. One more functioning appendage and internal questioning. Sorry it turned out a bit shorter, I had no desire for it to, but I can't think of much else to add. Chapter Six coming hopefully early Wednesday morning (U.S. EST) or early Thursday morning.

661994 I don't read any stories at FIM or EqD. I just don't like to read, I prefer writing. (Except books in real life.)
When I say "This is an exception", I mean that this has caught my eye well enough to make me read it. Which is a good thing.

Shadowflash: Glad I have held your attention with my story, I appreciate your reading of it.

All American: Beginning 6 tonight. Depending on how long it stretches, it will either be done tonight or tomorrow. Nice .gif, by the way.

I await another chapter. Don't disappoint.. then again its had to disappoint me. So far I will give you my RD of approval :rainbowdetermined2:

Chapter Six, hooray! Flying ponies and weekends. Seven will be coming soon, tomorrow at best, the following day at worst. Tell me what you think.

I like where this is going.
Also, it was sort of funny imagining the dumb smile on Ferrum's face suddenly transforming into a "wait, shit" face, and then, momentarily, to an "OHFUCKSHITSHIT" face.

You, sir, have earned a watch. :moustache:

Oh, snap. What's going to happen next? :pinkiegasp: Or a better question: just what exactly did he do?

If Dash says 'Are you a spy' or at least something like that. I'm going to laugh.

Rarelygood: I laughed pretty damn hard at that. I don't think I can do that without compromising the seriousness of the moment, though. "Are you a wizard" probably won't fit too well either.

Starting on the next chapter now. I hope to finish it by tonight, tomorrow if not.

673442 Well you better write at the speed of a Sonic Rainboom

It wasn't delivered as quickly as a break of the spectrum barrier, but here is Chapter 7. The plot thickens? I don't really have a witty description for this one. Likely due to a lack of sleep. Oh well. Let me know what you think of it, everyone.

No Are you a spy. But Stalker Ha! Ya got me to smile the whole time while i read this. Now then continuebeforeifigureoutwereyouliveandforceyoutowrite :pinkiecrazy:

She should have kicked his flank anyway.

Rarelygood: :rainbowderp: I'll uhh...I'll get on that.

Alaborn: Probably. The character's a real ass. Get it? Like, a donkey? Ahh, nevermind. He's a pony anyways.

I'm going to start on another chapter tonight. I might not finish due to how late I'm able to access my computer, and I apologize for that. Expect Ch. 8 tomorrow night. This is the internet, go have fun while you're waiting. Go angrily flame on forums, or look up funny cat videos. Or re-watch every episode, re-re-watching those containing Rainbow Dash. Again, I am sorry to keep you waiting, readers. Please don't come to my house and attempt to slice my jugular vein and/or windpipe.

Edit: Started on 8, am around a third of the way through it, I think. I have to stop or else I'll die of sleep deprivation. Sorry, readers. Tomorrow, most definitely.

Yes! More is on the way! Guess this means i don't have to slice your jugular...

681835 Don't slice his jugular it only means we will never get more!

Either way I'm going to be sleeping with my KA-BAR under my pillow from now on. I'm thinking this will be a longer chapter. We'll see by tonight, today, whatever this time period is called.

Hooray, long chapter, Chapter 8 is out. Horrible pancakes and a tour of a cloud city. Being that this is a longer chapter, let me know if you readers are okay with its length or find it to be too drawn out. Or, maybe I left out things that you all feel need to be added in, making the chapter even longer. Feedback is welcome, desired, and appreciated, please and thank you.

Hearth's Warming Eve ay? wells its no hearts and hooves day but still.....
i39.tinypic.com/263jwxu.png
ive been waiting to use that pic for so long now.....

Yep, Chapter 9 will be based on Hearth's Warming Eve. Holidays are odd to write about, by the way; I'm hoping the chapter will turn out good. Luckily, pony holidays seem pretty simple, so we'll see what I can do. I'll be beginning on and hopefully finishing 9 by tonight.

Also, America, hell yeah!

You're cool, too, Europe.

and she replies that her and five friends plan on having dinner together at Cupcake Corner. <-- :rainbowhuh: I do believe it is Sugarcube Corner Edit: Unless its actually meant to say that then ignore me XD

685730

Thank you, kind sir. You are quite correct and I will change that immediately. It's been too long since I've watched MLP. About a month, I think.

Edit: All fixed. Spaced out the second to last paragraph a little more, too. Seemed to be getting too...wall-y. Not Wally, Wally is a name.

Readers, I sincerely apologize. Chapter 9 will have to be delayed a bit. It's turned out to be a very long chapter. I could split it into two parts, but I'd like to attempt to maintain some chronological order; splitting up Chapters 2 and 3 threw me for a loop when figuring out the date in the story, and I'd like to avoid that again. It will come tomorrow unless I die a horrible, fiery/jugular related death. Again, I am very sorry to keep you waiting.

Edit: Based on just how long the chapter turns out, I may have to split it into Chapters 9 and 10. I'll begin typing and see where I end up.

In case I run out of time, and due to chapter Nine's original length, I have published Nine. Chapter 10, or really Chapter-9-Part-2, will hopefully be finished by tonight. If not, definitely tomorrow. I'm about halfway through it at the point of writing this comment. Please let me know what you think of the new chapter and the overall story, any flaws you may find, and anything else. Thanks.

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