• Member Since 1st Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 6th, 2020

Castok the Shadow

Humans... Humans everywhere


Everypony remembers the civil war between the Solar Empire and The New Lunar Republic.

Yet a lot doesn't remember how it ended.

But the actions of two brothers from another land.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 10 )

Cool story. I recognize the image from infinity blade.

This was true poetry. If there was a continuation, I would fave and track this. But you still get a thumbs up. Great work. :moustache:

this good story man keep up with good work :moustache:

That was really good

I can't say how i feel when i read it. This is one amazing story. Good job castok.

To be honest, I couldn't finish this. I don't know if you were going for some stylistic word choice or whatever, but the effect was that everything felt stilted.

who's words held great effect to build

Who's vs Whose

But yet it explains a lot.

On top of that the tenses were all over the place. Things that should have been plural weren't and others that shouldn't were.

The older sister got more supports from her own people.

Overall this took work to read and I wasn't able to concentrate on the story. I felt like I was in a pinball machine, jarring back and forth from the same errors and awkward word choices so often I couldn't tell left from right.



I liked this, and I'll fave it, but it could use an editor. Or maybe I'm just tired and there's nothing wrong with it.

The story was great, but it has many an error. Easily fixable if an attempted was made.

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