I'm a Jr. High girl with a big imagination and to much time during summer. I love mlp and books so I write fanfiction in my free time! I hope you like my first story Chaos and Kindness! enjoy the fics
Discord caught a weird illness and it's the only one he can't get rid of magically. Fluttershy takes him home and nurses him back to health. One more thing, Discord has never actually been sick, let alone been sick for a couple of weeks. Maybe after this whole thing is over, Discord will have learned what sympathy means.
Note: Rated "T" for some mild language.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Aww I like cats
6230247
Ok?
So did Discord recover? How'd he make it up to Fluttershy? This story is kinda too short but other than that its pretty good.
I'd say...
6234224 yeah, sorry I didn't mean to put the complete tag on it. I'm still writing it.
I can't wait for the sequel
6236950 You won't have to wait long!
Aww, this was adorable!
6239231 Thanks! I'm working on a sequel, it's called "Friday Night"
6239325 Cool, I'll be looking out for it! ;)
6239325 when is it gonna come out
6248970 If all goes well, it will be out sometime in between now next week. I'll have a blog about it when it's done and edited.
I really like the concept of Discord having to rely on the others - not just Fluttershy - when he's stricken with an illness, but a lot of this feels contrived for the sake of making the story as dramatic as possible while including as little explanation and detail as possible.
I get that you made the active choice to include profanity to make it clear just how hot of a day it was, but Applejack's tone comes across as passive aggressive or spiteful. It feels a bit too mean for her.
It feels like something is missing here? Like there was more to the sentence that got cut off by mistake?
"He may have heat stroke" is the proper way to say this. It's said like a disease rather than a noun.
Wait, why would they have to pay EXTRA for an ambulance to get a sick patient to the hospital as quickly as possible? That's standard protocol in a medical emergency, unless Equestria has an incredibly corrupt healthcare system.
....Where did that even come from?
Once it got to where action brackets were being used instead of prose for Discord's coughing, it got hard to continue. This story was really hard to suspend disbelief on.
6410161 Thanks for criticism, I'll take your advice for future stories! I like how you told me how you felt about the story, rather then giving me a long comment about what was wrong with the story.
I'll try and fix a couple of those such as the "I thought I'd never say this, but Discord's sick and a doctor."
Thanks again!
Did I have to read the PUKE part? Ehh, imagining Discord vomiting, like humans do... I feel your pain...
6230247
Good to know...yet not nessersry
Very soon upon hearing that I'll start vomiting like Discord
So please don't talk about it...