Sunsets and Stars
Two weeks. That’s how long it had been since that rainy day beneath the willow. Fluttershy knew, because she had counted each and every one.
Fourteen days of early-morning flights together, watching the sun paint the sky with glowing strokes of pumpkin orange and peachblossom pink. Fourteen days of quick kisses snuck between weather duty or managing the animals, leaving them both blushing and grinning like fillies on the last day of school. Fourteen days of shared, secret half-smiles whenever their friends would mention finding a “special somepony.”
Fourteen wondrous, incredible days.
All because of her not knowing how to respect another pony’s privacy. Fluttershy smiled to herself as she trotted around her garden, remembering Rainbow’s first reaction to finding her diary beneath the tree. It seemed funny now, however terrifying it may have been at the moment. Really, if she hadn’t been as brash and stubborn as she was, I would probably still be sitting there, wishing I was brave enough to talk to her.
She knelt down next to a small hillock near the edge of the grass, calling out softly as not to disturb its inhabitants.
“Hello? Mr. Mouse? Um, sorry to bother you, but it’s time to check on your tail again. We have to make sure that cut doesn’t get infected.” There was a series of irritated-sounding chitters from inside the hill. Fluttershy sighed. “I know it’s not very fun, but this is the only way to make sure your beautiful tail stays clean and healthy. Please?” she pleaded. There were more chitters. Finally, small brown fieldmouse with a bandaged tail emerged from the hillock, looking disgruntled.
“Oh, thank you. This will only take a minute..”
She nipped the edge of the bandage in her teeth and began to unravel it, humming to herself as she did so. I wonder if Dashie’s done moving those clouds yet. She said she’d be off early today. With a tug, she removed the bandage entirely, eliciting another storm of chitters from the mouse. Fluttershy winced.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I’ll be more gentle next time, I promise.” She peered closer. “It looks like your tail is healing perfectly. I think we might even be able to take these bandages of by next week , if this keeps up.” The fieldmouse squeaked happily. Fluttershy smiled and took a fresh bandage out of her saddlebags, carefully wrapping it back around the injured appendage. She finished the wrapping and tucked it in carefully, patting the mouse in the head. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it? Now, you just run along and try to stay out of Mr. Falcon’s territory. You know how he can-”
“Hey, you!” Fluttershy turned around in time to see a rainbow-colored streak barrelling towards her before she was swept off her hooves and yanked into the air. She squealed in shock, kicking her legs in a futile attempt to find the ground again.
“Eep! Wha- Rainbow!”
The cyan pegasus’ face was less than an inch from hers, mouth split open in a wide, rakish grin. She cackled and spun around in the air, causing Fluttershy to eep again in surprise.
“Oh Celestia, you should’ve seen your face!”
Fluttershy sighed. “Do you really have to do that every time you want to get my attention?”
“Nah. It’s just more fun this way. Besides, you know you like it.” She smirked, and Fluttershy felt herself growing red behind the pink curtain of her mane. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I’m off cloud duty. You almost done with the animals?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Mr. Mouse was the last one I needed to check on, and they’ve all been fed.”
Dash grinned. “Sweet! There’s something I wanna show you.” She let go of Fluttershy, causing the pegasus to eep and drop several feet in surprise. “'Whoops, sorry. All right, follow me. If we leave now, we should be able to get with time to spare.”
“In time for what?” Fluttershy asked.
“You’ll see. It’s awesome, I promise. Now let’s go!” She snapped her wings back and took off, shooting up into the sky above the clouds. Fluttershy smiled and did the same, albeit a bit slower.
They flew quickly, and the neat, orderly buildings of Ponyville were soon replaced by the wild patchwork canvas of the Everfree Forest. Rainbow Dash never deviated from the direction she had chosen, occasionally scanning the ground as if looking for something. Fluttershy watched her face as she flew, studying every detail. Dash looked different when she was flying. The lines, the shadows, the adorable little crease just below her lower lip... They were all still there, just... muted somehow. Softer. More serene. It was a side of her Fluttershy had barely ever seen before, and she had decided she liked it.
After several minutes of wordless flying, Rainbow stopped dead in the air, nearly causing Fluttershy to bump into her. “Down here,” she said, before folding her wings and dropping into a steep dive towards the trees below. Fluttershy followed at a much less adventurous angle, flapping vigorously to keep her speed down. The last thing I need is to hurt myself miles away from civilization. She watched as Rainbow pulled out of her dive at the last possible second, wingtips brushing leaves of the canopy. The blue pegasus looked up at her and beckoned.
“C’mon, ‘Shy!”
Fluttershy finished her descent, coming to a hover next to Dash. She glanced at the trees below and frowned. “What did you want to show me, exactly?”
Rainbow just smiled and disappeared beneath the thick canopy. Fluttershy followed suit, taking care not to snag her wings on a protruding branch. She landed softly on the forest floor and looked around. Her fillyfriend was nowhere in sight.
“Dashie? Hello?”
There was a flash of multicolored mane from one of the nearby bushes, then Rainbow’s voice replied:
“Over here. You’re gonna love this.”
Fluttershy nodded and ducked inside the brush, closing her eyes to keep out any stray bits of woodland residue. She stepped out of the bush, looked around, and gasped.
“Oh... oh wow.”
They were standing on the bank of a crystal-clear pond, surrounded by the gnarled, arching forms of the Everfree trees. A small waterfall splashed playfully down from a cave above the pool, sending a gentle mist over the whole scene. It almost looked too perfect to be real, like an illustration from a book or a painting on a wall.
Rainbow Dash smiled. “Awesome, huh?”
Fluttershy could only nod in wonderment.
“Well, what are ya waiting for? Jump in!” Dash whooped and leapt into the air, executing a neat backflip before landing in the pond with a large splash. “The water’s great!”
Fluttershy dipped a cautious hoof into the pond and was surprised to find it comfortably warm. She waded in, sighing in delight as the soothing liquid covered her body, until she was next to Dash.
“So, what were we in time for?” asked Fluttershy, looking around the glade. It was incredibly pretty, but Rainbow had made it sound like there was something special they had been waiting on.
The cyan pegasus just shook her head and smiled. “We got here around an hour early. It’s a secret, but you’ll love it, I promise. Until then...” she suddenly dove under the water and popped up again, forehooves clamped tightly together over something Fluttershy couldn’t see. “Take a look at this!”
Fluttershy frowned, leaning closer as she tried to get a good look at the object Dash was holding.
“Here, it’s pretty small. Let me hold it closer,” said Rainbow, putting her hooves directly below her fillyfriend’s face.
Fluttershy squinted, leaning in close enough to touch Rainbow’s hooves with her nose and closing one eye.
“I still don’t see- yeep!”
Fluttershy gave a shriek of surprise as a jet of water suddenly erupted from between Dash’s hooves, splashing directly in her face.
“Gotcha!” said Rainbow, laughing as Fluttershy sputtered and wiped her eyes. “The old two-hoof splasher. Never fails!”
Her smile faded as she realized her friend wasn’t joining in. “Hey, you okay?”
Fluttershy shook her head and sniffled, turning her back to Dash. “You got my eye,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hooves. “It really hurts.”
“Oh jeez,” Rainbow winced and extended a comforting wing. “I just wanted to mess with you a little. I’m really sorry, ‘Shy,” she said, failing to notice the sly grin on her friend’s face.
“Oh, you will be.”
“Huh?” Dash frowned. “What do you-”
There was a sploosh as Fluttershy whirled and snapped both her wings forward, sending a miniature tidal wave directly at Rainbow Dash. The cyan mare was completely drenched, nearly falling over in the water from the unexpected force.
“Oh, you sneaky little... take this!” Laughing, Dash brought her wings back and retaliated with a wave of her own, nearly double the size and force of her fillyfriend’s. Fluttershy dodged nimbly out of the way and smacked her tail against the pond’s surface, sending a small jet of water directly into Dash’s face.
“Wow, you’re pretty good at this!” Dash said admiringly, countering with another wall of water from her wings. This one was too close to dodge, and Fluttershy took it point blank, nearly rolling over in the air as it splashed into her. Rainbow grinned. “Too bad I'm better.”
Fluttershy refused to be beaten, leaping to her hooves and raising her wings defiantly. “Oh, you are, are you?” she said, smiling. Rainbow’s eyes narrowed, and Fluttershy saw the playful spark of competition ignite within them.
“Oh, bring it on, filly! Let’s see how you hold up against Splash Master Dash!”
Fluttershy giggled and leaped out of the way as Dash attempted yet another gigantic wave. This is what I’ve always wanted, she thought, diving underneath the pond’s surface to avoid the next aquatic volley. A sunny afternoon with the mare I’m in love with...
She popped up from the water directly behind Rainbow, tapping her on the shoulder. The cyan mare turned, only to be met with a two-hoofed splash directly to the face. Fluttershy laughed. And nothing to stop either of us from admitting it.
**********
A half-hour of furious splash-fighting later, both mares lay on the pond’s bank, alternating between exhausted pants and just-as-exhausted giggles.
“Wow, ‘Shy,” Rainbow said, stretching luxuriously in the light of the fading sun. “I wouldn't've challenged you if I had known you were gonna put up that much of a fight.” She wriggled and arched her back like a cat, shaking out her wings and sending tiny droplets of water flying everywhere. “Where’d you learn to dodge like that, anyway?”
Fluttershy blushed. “Well, there were some advantages to being the filly everpony wanted to hit in dodgeball practice...” The memory was still slightly painful, even now, but she shooed it away. That’s over now. You have Dashie. Everything is perfect.
Dash laughed. “Guess so.” She finished her drying routine and lay back down onto the grass, snuggling closer to her fillyfriend as the sun’s light retreated behind a cloud. “Well, guess I’m kinda glad they did. If nopony had picked on you, we would’ve never even met, and then, well...” She shook her head. “I don’t even know what I’d be doing.”
Fluttershy just smiled and nodded.
For several minutes, the only sound was rustling of the wind through the grass and the soft burbling of the waterfall.
“Hey, ‘Shy?”
“Yes?”
Dash’s face looked slightly uncomfortable, but she proceeded anyway. “Uh, well, I was just wondering...”
Fluttershy closed her eyes and repressed a frustrated sigh. She knew what was coming. It was the same thing that had been hovering over both their heads since that afternoon under the willow, and Dash was finding every opportunity to bring it up.
“When are we gonna tell them, Fluttershy?”
The sigh escaped. “Rainbow, I’ve already told you, just like I’ve said every over time. I don’t know.”
The two had been doing an admirable job keeping their relationship secret from their other friends, at Fluttershy’s request, but it was clearly grating on Dash’s naturally expressive personality. She didn’t see why Fluttershy would want to keep something as momentous as falling in love with your best friend from the world at large. The yellow pegasus had attempted to explain it to her, multiple times, but Rainbow just couldn’t seem to understand that her fillyfriend would rather be kept out of the limelight as much as possible.
“And I’ve already told you that we need to tell them soon!” said Rainbow, wings fluttering agitatedly. "I love you, Fluttershy, and I don’t want to have to sneak around behind everypony’s backs to do it!” She looked irritated now. “What are you afraid of? We’ve beaten Nightmare Moon, a Changeling Queen, even the freakin’ Spirit of Chaos together, and you’re telling me that you’re afraid of telling them you’re in love?”
“I’m not afraid, it’s just... what if... what if they...”
“What if they what?”
“Oh, what if we tell them... and, and they think we’re disgusting and horrible and don’t want to be our friends again?” Said aloud, the question sounded feeble, almost silly, but Fluttershy couldn’t deny the gnawing uncertainty that had been lurking in her gut since she had shared that first kiss.
Dash blinked. “That’s what you were worried about?” She snorted. “Fluttershy, if our friends aren’t okay with us being together, I’ll paint myself green and fly a lap around Ponyville.”
Fluttershy giggled slightly at the mental image, but her smiled soon faded as she realized Dash was still waiting for an answer. “I guess it is a little silly... but even if they’re okay with it, what about other ponies?” She closed her eyes, shuddering as she imagined the scornful glares, the upturned noses, the spiteful, biting words-
Dash rolled her eyes. “Who cares? Of course there’s gonna be a couple jerks who get on our case no matter what we do. That’s just how the world works. But just because some idiots don’t understand that two mares can love each other doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.”
“But what if-”
Rainbow smacked her hooves together angrily, startling Fluttershy with the ferocity of the gesture. “What if, what if, what if! It’s always what if! Why does it matter what other ponies think? You’re happy being together, and I sure as heck am, and if anypony tries to tell us otherwise...” She kicked a pebble from the bank, glaring as it skipped across the pond’s smooth surface. “Then they’re not worth the air they’re breathing. It shouldn’t matter to you what they think, so why the heck does it?”
Fluttershy felt like her stomach was slowly eating her away from the inside out. Every one of Dash’s words had hit true, and she began to hear the endless, hateful drone from all those years ago. Useless. Pathetic. Weak. Cowardly. The roiled and pounded inside her mind, hammering against the carefully constructed mental floodgates she had erected. All her insecurities, all her feelings of inadequacy, all her little self-pities, sloshing around and threatening to consume her entirely.
She looked up towards Rainbow. “It matters.... it matters because...
Her voice broke off. Rainbow blinked.
The floodgates burst.
“Because I’m not brave, Rainbow Dash! I’m not like you! I’m not strong or confident or sure of myself or even able to fly well! I’m a weak little useless excuse for a pegasus who’s not good enough for anypony.” She sniffled. “Not even for you.”
Fluttershy looked towards Dash, expecting pity, remorse, or even confusion. Instead, her fillyfriend’s eyes hardened, jaw clenching as she stepped forward, stomping a hoof on the ground.
“Brave? I’m brave?” she said with a bitter snort. “Stupid is more like it. You know what they used to call me? Back in senior flight camp?”
Fluttershy shook her head, now confused herself. These angry, sardonic outbursts weren’t like Dash at all, and she began to realize that her fillyfriend had as much going on beneath the surface as she did.
“Rainbow Dyke, the Multicolored Marelicker,” said Dash bitterly. “Imagine waking up to that. Every morning. No one to blame, because they all hated you. No one to complain to, because nopony cared. Every day. No breaks.” She sighed, her face a mask of anguish and hurt. “I would go to bed each night and cry into my pillow.”
Fluttershy stood, silent and open-mouthed, as Rainbow continued:
“And that wasn’t it, either. Once I started getting used to the words, they kicked it up a notch. Check this out.” She took a handful of the feathers near the base of her wings in her teeth, gently teasing them apart to reveal a series of red rings around the bare joints. The scars were faded, but they were there.
“They would pull my wings back and twist them until it hurt so much the joints would go all numb. ‘Course, the coaches didn’t give a buck. ‘Just kids messing around’, my flank.” She kicked another pebble. This one skipped the pond entirely and ricocheted off a nearby tree with a ping. “Every hour, ever day, every week, they tried to break me.” Dash sighed. “But you know what?”
“W-what?”
“I didn’t let ‘em.” She smiled slightly and stood up straighter, and Fluttershy saw a hint of the old, confident mare she had looked up to, the same mare who had been going through her own personal hell the entire time she had offered her comfort and protection. “Every time I was about to give up, every time I was just ready to quit and tell my parents to just pick me up and move away, I didn’t. You know why?
Fluttershy shook her head numbly.
"Because, even then, even before I knew who Twilight Sparkle was, I was still the Element of Loyalty. I had someone to help, someone to protect, someone who was sweeter and kinder then I could ever be.” She leaned closer, wrapping a wing around Fluttershy. “Don’t you get it, ‘Shy? You are brave. You went to flight camp even though you hated the air, you jumped headfirst into a tornado to help me, you face down a dragon, even after I got my flank kicked, and won...” She stopped, gently taking the other mare’s head in her hooves and pulling her in for a long, hard kiss.
When it broke, Dash was smiling again, earnestly this time. “And if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have found the pony I want to be with for the rest of my life.” Fluttershy blushed, her head still spinning from the strength and intensity of the gesture. “Hay, I mean, you can deal with me, for Celestia’s sake! After that, a couple hateful idiots shouldn’t even faze you.”
“Dashie...” Fluttershy swallowed and took a deep breath. Her friend’s speech had changed something, and she felt like there was fire running through her veins, thick and powerful and giving her the strength to do anything.
“Yeah?” Dash said, looking at her hopefully.
“You’re right.” Fluttershy stepped away from the other mare, wings flared wide and head upturned. "I love you, and it doesn’t matter how many other ponies in the world say otherwise, because I know it’s true. Starting tomorrow, we can be... be...”
“Public?” finished Rainbow, face splitting open in a wide grin.
“Yes,” replied Fluttershy nodding firmly. “Public.”
“That’s my girl!” Dash laughed and leapt towards her fillyfriend, smothering her in a full-winged bear hug. “I can’t wait to see the looking on Pinkie’s face.”
“O-oh, you don’t think she’d throw a party, do you?” Fluttershy said apprehensively. Dash rolled her eyes.
“Fluttershy, it’s Pinkie. She’d throw a ‘We Haven’t Had Enough Parties Lately’ party if she could get away with it.” She nibbled the yellow pegasus’ ear playfully. “Why? You’re not scared, are ya?”
Fluttershy blushed and shook her head. “No, I guess not. It’s just well, Pinkie can be a little... overenthusiastic sometimes, and...”
“Don’t worry,” said Rainbow. “I’ll make sure she keeps it low-key. Just us six, some cake, and some punch. Sound good?” She grinned. “Besides, the rest of Ponyville’s gonna need some time to adjust to the two hottest mares in town being in cahoots.”
Fluttershy nodded, blush intensifying. “That would be... nice.”
Rainbow suddenly spun and glanced up behind them, distracted by something Fluttershy couldn’t see. “Oh, whoa. It’s almost time!” She jumped to her hooves and leapt into the air, motioning Fluttershy to follow. “C’mon! You don’t want to miss this.”
Fluttershy nodded, confused, and took to the air behind the other pegasus. Above the pond, the sun was beginning to set, painting the sky orange and casting shimmering rays of peach and gold across the clouds and treetops. Dash flitted around the the lowest-lying cottonballs, occasionally stopping long enough to shake her head and move on while Fluttershy looked on, thoroughly bewildered. Then, after almost two minutes of seemingly-pointless searching, the cyan pegasus found one she deemed suitable and beckoned for Fluttershy to join her.
“Dashie, I still don’t understand...” said Fluttershy, alighting on the cloud next to her fillyfriend. “What are we-” She broke off as Dash put a hoof across lips, pointing out at the pond.
“Shhh. Don’t say anything, just watch.”
Far below, the crystalline water was beginning to glow, shining like molten gold as the sun’s last rays caressed it. The dying light formed radiant, concentric rings along the pond’s surface, moving closer and closer to its center as the burning orb sunk lower in the sky. Then, just as the last glimmers of sunshine were beginning to fade behind the horizon, the light caught the shining water at the perfect angle, and a brilliant beam of golden light erupted from the pond’s center, shooting up into the heavens like an otherwordly beacon.
Fluttershy gasped softly as she saw the display, causing Rainbow Dash to smile and snuggle closer to the awestruck pegasus.
“The pond’s name is Signalfire Spring,” said Dash, gazing out into the flickering pillar. “This only happens once a year, when the sun hits it just right, and I’ve made every one since I found it. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
Fluttershy nodded and nuzzled Rainbow’s cheek. “Not as beautiful as you,” she replied, surprising herself at her boldness. Dash returned the nuzzle, leaning her head against Fluttershy’s shoulder and closing her eyes.
“Well, I’m not gonna argue with that.”
They sat there like that for what could have been minutes or hours, quietly watching the golden pillar and simply enjoying each other’s company. Then, so soft that Fluttershy had to double-check she wasn’t just imagining it, she heard it: a gentle humming, coming faintly but unmistakably from the mare leaning against her shoulder. It was a simple tune, happy and familiar, and Fluttershy’s heart swelled as she recognized it. Dash looked up, eyes opening, and sang softly:
“I know a place where the sun shines gold...”
Fluttershy smiled, hugging Rainbow closer as she remembered the next line of the old pegasus ballad.
“Where the water’s sweet and no day is cold...”
Dash smiled back, and they began a duet, so like yet unlike the one they had shared those days ago. While that had been heavy, full of uncertainty and teetering hopes, this was light and airy, free of any emotion but tenderness and joy.
“Where the grass is green and the sky is blue,
And I go there, darling, when I’m with you
I know a place where the clouds don’t rain,
Where my legs don’t cramp and my wings don’t sprain,
Where the ground is rich,
And my purse is, too,
And I go there, darling, when I’m with you...”
Dash and Fluttershy stared at each other, eyes shining in the light of the dimming sun. They kissed, slowly and softly, and sang the final lines.
“I know a place where my troubles leave,
Where there’s no need to cry,
And no need to grieve
Where I love the world,
And it loves me too,
And I go there, darling,
When I love you,
And I’m there now, darling, because I love you
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- NintendoGal55 · 22k words · 367 7 · 7.8k views
- CosmicWaltz · 24k words · 424 8 · 9.5k views
- Ardensfax · 7.5k words · 775 14 · 17k views
- NintendoGal55 · 7.3k words · 295 5 · 8.4k views
- NotHereAnymoreProbably · 62k words · 309 12 · 8k views
- P0nies · 19k words · 174 11 · 5.4k views
- NintendoGal55 · 96k words · 221 10 · 5.3k views
- Silver Tongue · 1.9k words · 135 1 · 4.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.162 seconds
Total duration
851 users online
1,243,778 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh, I just love songs.
D'awww.
My god.... It updated!
Awesome btw.
It... updated?
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-gifs-that-moment-of-squee.gif
D'awww. <3 Eagerly awaiting the next chapter! c:
static2.fjcdn.com/comments/anybody+eleses+heart+explode+form+the+adawwww+ubluness+_6b5988e4691d277b6ba2cb5d723f6b82.png
Huh, 'd'aaww' rhymes with ''MOAR!". Funny coincidence, that. Both apply.
Also, maybe if you found some way to sort of amalgamate both chapters, this new material could be that complication in the storyline that EQD wanted. It would need to be exemplary, though - there are hundreds of 'wah wah I'm scared my friends will disown me if we announce that we're together' fluff fics.
Pretty sure you're good enough to make it work if you want to though.
The feels, they came back so strongly. You glorious person, we all thought that it was done with! I could hug you.
While I never expected this story to update (or even felt like it needed to, being a well-told story in the first part), I'm more than happy that it did.
The style and theme has stayed constant, keeping the wonderful feel of the piece going. The characterization is the most crucial in a piece where character interaction and thought is 90% of it, and you definitely did a great job again. Fluttershy keeps her adore, meek demeanour and retains some of her doubts and fears about the relationship, despite being very privately happy about it -- this is very much how I would expect her to behave in canon. You did a good job with Dash as well, keeping her energetic, fast, and always trying to be number one -- however, the situation she's in with the relationship, the past you gave her, and the current setting makes it more tricky to keep to her canon character. We do not really get to see how most characters react to relationships and/or more aggressive behaviour, as mentioned in Dash's backstory, but the gifted and trained authors among us can usually pull of believable characters in practically any situation. I think you did a good job handling Dash's personality for this, though I will say that I sometimes felt just slightly off about her, but I'm going to chalk that up to her being forced into situations/experiences that we're not used to seeing her in -- ie. don't take that as me saying you did a bad job with her, because I still liked it.
Finally, I am very pleased with the ending for two reason: 1) you ended it with a song, keeping consistency with the theme, and doing an excellent job of it, and 2) you did not go with an "everypony's reactions" ending, which I feel that, while it can be done well, would have been a big tone shift and broke the theme/flavour you had going with this.
All in all, I'm very happy with what I've read, and I congratulate you on a wonderful chapter (and the whole story as well).
Squee! Totally adorable!
This is the most amazing thing I've seen/read all week. You kept it consistent with the first chapter, Fluttershy and Dash were adorable and I love how Rainbow gets Fluttershy's attention.
And I read both chapters, 1 then 2 just to make sure everything would line up and guess what? It totally did. Everything worked. You are amazing.
This story deserves a lot more views... In my opinion, its the best on the site out of any musically orientated fan fics. Please, please, write us a chapter 3 (or more... there's plenty you could explore here). It would be wonderful to see everyponies reaction and then have another epic song to end with.
1228877 Yeah, that's sorta what I was thinking about the second chapter. I may just put the revised first part up on GDocs and send it back in there, but meh. If it's not accepted, I really don't feel like going back and rewriting it a second time. I mean, fluff is fun, but I have other, cooler things to work on.
1228817 Sorry, this is it. The bonus chapter was just a thing I did for my 50-watcher milestone, and I have no plans to continue it. But don't worry! I have plenty of other things lined up in the coming weeks, and I would love it if you stuck around to check them out!
the song, i must know what is it; it reminds me of a Beatle song
1229829 I'm not sure, considering I don't know much of the Beatles' music and both songs in the story are original compositions.
so much D'aaaaawwww in this one the final was just...just....HNNNNG! LOVE IT
Missed the opening quote
When a character speaks across two paragraphs, you don't put a quote at the end of the first
And OH GOD, THOSE FEELS!
1232723 Fixed, thanks! Glad you liked it.
1230038
huh weird; it read a bit like the song In my life
D'awwwwwww, that was such a nice coda.
I'd like to leave some sort of intelligent comment but my brain isn't being artichulate tonight. Love the story!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png
I've read it a long time ago, when it has only one chapter! And now it has two chapters!
The new chapter made the story even better.
The flashbacks in the frist chapter are very good additions!
As often with such stories, I read Fluttershy's and Dashie's words with their voices in my mind.
The story is so beautiful! I love it!
the feels so many feels
1592885
Thanks for the concrit. I definitely agree with most of your points, and honestly, I would encourage you to check out some of my newer stuff. This was my first piece of real writing for the fandom, and as such, is very, well, rough. It's also (unfortunately) the only one of my fics that got any reasonable amount of attention on the site. I'm more or less done with it now edit-wise, but thanks a lot for taking the time to give it as in-depth of a review as you did.
EDIT: Also, I'm now extremely angry because that date ending you suggested would've made the story at LEAST three hundred times better, and I'm hitting myself for not thinking of it.
I read this story when I first heard about this site, and I see why so many people like the show.
2688073
Sorry, this story's done for now. It's extremely old (well, relatively, anyway) and my newer stuff is, IMO, much better. Feel free to check that out at your pleasure if you enjoy my writing.
I do have another Flutterdash story in the works that is somewhat in the ilk of this one, but it's currently not being written. It may see the light of day at some point, but I wouldn't be able to tell you when.
In any case I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
2690279 a new Flutterdash story by you would most certanly be something to look forward to.
Cause this one is one of the best ever.
For that, you get a follow, in the hope that it will see the light of day.
2840303
Actually, yes!
It's here.
2942612
Because they are too cowardly and afraid their rep would be ruined if certain groups of people who believe in a certain book might get all huffy over lesbians in cartoons, because you know, that isn't already happening in Japan or in DC comics not at all /sarcasm.
2959489
To heck with that! Having a lesbian relationship built on mutual love and respect would go a long way toward showing how things should be in society!
3002969
You and me are one mind in two separate bodies when it comes to this topic. Well said my friend well said.
2959489 i was just about to say that about DC
2724634 hey i know you from DA!
well done.
)
well done indeed.
(write more
3206694 Me too!
I cry; this was so beautiful!!
5768777
Go for it.
This is beautiful.
No Spike? He already battles inadequacy and "I'm different from everyone else" syndrome at times, so leaving him out of a party wouldn't exactly help his episodic self-esteem issues.
Also, no Discord? I remember how jealous he got when he wasn't invited as Fluttershy's partner to the second Grand Galloping Gala; did his best to separate Flutters from her partner, took a green glob beast and then allowed it to run amok. So I can imagine Discord's not going to be happy either. True, you can't exactly trust Discord to keep anything hush-hush, but if anypony's able to make him do it, it's most likely Fluttershy.
Rainbow should've said 'just us seven' or 'just us eight', and that's not even mentioning the reformed Starlight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, or Fluttershy's and Rainbow's own families.
Anyway...
Wow. One chapter of pure goodness followed by another chapter of pure goodness? I'm not usually one for music (unless it's game OSTs from games I've played), but the written songs are...wow. I can't even begin to imagine how long it must've taken you to come up with something so amazing.
As for the relationship, FlutterDash is the most logical for both mares, since they spent most of their lives together, and only really met the other four several years afterwards (especially Twilight). As a result, I enjoy seeing such excellently written FlutterDash. A definite star and thumbs-up for you, good sir/madam.
7882172
You have a point with Discord; he might have felt slighted. Then again, at this point, he was really only friends with Fluttershy.
As for Spike, his not being included is more a sign that he's not really part of the Mane Six. He has issues of being left out of their adventures, which is due to his age more than anything. He may be a dragon, but he's still a baby.
Besides, do you honestly think Pinkie is gonna leave him out?
8416023
Spike's age? Let's try to estimate his age, by first estimating Twilight's age.
Twilight was a filly attending an entrance exam when she inadvertently hatched the dragon egg she was given. Judging by her appearance, I would say she was around 7-9 years of age at the time (she wasn't a teenager, but she was also not an infant).
When she travelled to Ponyville to 'prepare the Summer Sun Celebration' and 'gain friends', she is clearly an adult mare, though definitely a young one. As a result, I would place a bet on her being 18-20.
So Spike has to be between 9-13 years old, based on my estimates - either approaching pony adolescence, or in the middle of it.
Sure, he's definitely not an adult in either pony or dragon society, and he's still physically a draconic child, but in terms of pure age? I would never label him a 'baby'.
Also something to note: from what I could gather on somewhat-short notice, MLP:FiM never mentions if dragons age at a slower rate than ponies; we do see that dragons can grow to be enormous (whether through time or greed), but not the rate of growth. So 'dragon years' could conceivably be similar to 'pony years'.
I just wish Hasbro provided more basic information about their characters and world, y'know? Like ages, whether certain species age faster or slower than others, favourite foods, general relationship between all the known species, etc.
8416122
True, that. They're not the only ones that do that though; most of the time, such details are left out due to time constraints.
As far as Spike being a baby dragon, that's how he's portrayed in the show. In truth, it's likely quite insulting, as he's likely well into his teen years, for both pony and dragon. I only mentioned all of that as a way to show why he's often left out of the Mane Six's adventures. For all we know, there could be standing orders from Celestia to that fact.
We just don't know, which is why we use fics to speculate. Still, it is a shame that he gets sidelined too much.
This is so beautiful. I wish there were more stories like this.
This was sooooo adorable! Loved it :D
I absolutely loved this story! Especially the beggining, with the rainy day vibes. I think days like these are really cozy, wich adds to the charm of the story.
Also, I think the song on the ending is suspiciously familiar, but I can't put my finger on what it exactly is...
It has been an entire year since the last time I read this story, and it remains just as good. The author deserves far more praise than she has gotten; I personally consider this one of the best romance stories in Fimfiction. It's truly an outstandingly cozy narrative, meant to be experiencied during excessively rainy days, where you surround yourself with pillows in a cumulous bed, losing yourself in daydreams below your duvet (especially the first chapter).