Luna is still adjusting to society after her return from the moon. Following the success of Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, she wants to open up her own education facility. But she's a little behind...
Chapters (6)
lunabrony
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A good concept! I like it :3
What is this, a chapter for ANTS?!?
Interesting... liked, favorited, tracked, and followed.
Dude...
Just...
That title man...
I cannot read this now, but once I get the chance, I am all over it.
I love goofy, awkward Luna. Goofy, awkward Luna + goofy, awkward kids? Nothing but win.
I have a feeling that the school name was created by one of those foals. I mean really, "magic good"? I know a lot of people mix up good and well, but that just sounds so blatantly wrong to me.
I like the story, though. Have an inspirational Pinkie to help you write the next chapter swiftly
So very many pineapples.
"Lunar" what? Imprisonment? Banishment? Hiatus? Vacation? Field trip?
"Foals" maybe? Unless it is a female only school.
Okay, so not an all female school.
The other ones were o'clocks so I let them slide, but this one should be spelled out.
That is actually a pretty cool name for a pony.
This should be spelled out.
That quotation mark is unneeded.
It would be awesome if you put a pineapple in every chapter. Though hiding them would prove difficult.
This was cute. The awkwardness that is sure to follow should be hilarious.
~KBO.
Well, that was a great start. A foal that's been kicked out of many preschools already. Another who swears to be a diamond dog. And that mysterious pineapple that follows the main character everywhere. Luna's off to a good day indeed.
I shall return at 3pm story time, promptly, when the story gets that far. Best of luck!
You had me at the title. I'll be tracking this.
Have an upvote as well.
This doesn't really belong in the All-OC Stories group. I mean... it's a story about Princess Luna.
6205280 But it has Original Characters in it who play a major role.
cant wait for the next chapter!
I need more
6208844 Then keep sharing it around so it gets noticed :p Unlike me, still waiting for Senpai...
Is that a Scribblenauts reference I spy?
6209108 I'm not sure, I only ever played it once for a few minutes and hated it. What part? If so, it wasn't intentional.
6209163
The air vent thing. They're all over the place, and probably the most useful item in the game for moving objects without touching them.
6209173 Strangely enough that was from a game, though. The air vents drew inspiration from Alice: Madness Returns, in which you do a LOT of floating.
Ah, Zoolander. Hands down one of the most retarded movies I have ever watched. And yet I still watched it because Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson.
Extra space.
Actually The Three Little Pigs is a progressive book that starts with one pig in the straw house, then two pigs in the stick house, then three pigs in the brick house.
1.) Possible missing "we".
2.) Extra space.
It would be funny if she unzipped her skin and underneath was a diamond dog pup. It would also be horrible because it would mean she really skinned that poor foal.
Spontaneously combust... Spontaneously combust.
"The".
YES! My evil plan to fill the world up with astronomers is coming to fruition! Then, when everypony is looking up at the heavens(wait, do we even have heaven?), I will move the stars into rude and obscene constellations! SAND!
I read Celestia's lines in Barny the Dinosaur's voice.
~KBO.
6205391 That may be so, but there are rules with regards to the group. Generally speaking, if the story is tagged with Luna and has her as one of the central characters, the fic may not qualify.
This thread lays it out a little more. Read it and then think about whether your fic fits:
http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=42&thread=4244
Spontaneously combust... Spontaneously combust.
She did not pop out of it in front of the children did she? That would be so traumatizing. Like watching Mickey Mouse remove his head. Or Ace Ventura being born out of the rhino. I would post the video, but, yuck.
Missing "is".
I am not an expert on abaci (abacuses?), however, I am certain hundreds comes between tens and thousands.
Here is an em dash — just for you.
"Filly".
Missing apostrophe.
That is what she said.
Extra space.
And pineapples.
That is what she said.
I do not think Ocean Breeze will grow to be a banker or an amusement park ride attendant (carney). His name implies he will be a ship captain. Like in the Navy or maybe a pirate captain. Or maybe he will just grow up to be Sailor Number Three, or Background Pirate E.
~KBO.
6230475 CRAP I FORGOT THE PINEAPPLE
*goes in to make little edits*
6230475 Fixed. How the hell do you find extra spaces?
6230524 It could be the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that stabs me in the eye whenever there is too much space between words. Or it could be the tiny screen of my Netbook that forces me lean in close to read. Most likely, though, it is a combination of both.
6230495 MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE you have killed us all
I had to keep myself from laughing too loudly when I saw Dreamy the Dancing Dragon. Good job.
Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also, this hyphen should be an em dash (—).
This hyphen should be an em dash (—).
I do not know if I should be happy or sad for Twilight.
"Four feet by four feet". Which, by the way, is not really that enormous. It is actually kind of small. About the size of a sandbox.
"Four by four".
Extra space.
Search your feelings! You know it to be true!
I was kind of hoping Clover Red Rover We Call You Over really was a Diamond Dog wearing the skin of a pony. But I guess a Unicorn with an active imagination is just as good, and all the more adorable.
~KBO.
6247930 Who said it was Twilight? This takes place at the very beginning of season one. Twilight doesn't even have Owlicious yet.
6248475 Who else is Celestia going to get to do something for her that she does not want to do herself?
6247930 You have told me multiple times about the em dashes but I still don't feel right using them. I REFUSE.
This is either very existential, or you meant "the shelf".
You missed an "and" here.
This is an incomplete thought.
Luna briefly becomes Irish here.
I left the hyphens alone. You must have had some traumatic experience to make you hate em dashes so much.
I will not pry.
This seems to be the penultimate chapter. Unless you have ideas for days two and beyond. However, it does feel like it is wrapping up. I look forward to the next chapter.
~KBO.
6260497 I love your edits, they make me laugh every time
I'm learning things. For instance, I didn't know what an abacus was until now. Thanks!
Lol
6265119 *slowly shakes his head, waving a crochety old stick* You kids today! In my day we didn't have all these fancy gadgets that could tell us everything! We had to go outside! We had to use the dewey decimal system! We didn't have calculators on our phones or all these CGI remakes...
*From the other room* Youre 26, dude...
SHUT UP LET ME YELL AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE
WHAT DID SHE NEED TO SEE THE PRINCESS FOR!!!!!!!!????
I am a little surprised to see the series over already, but it was cute and sweet.
First of all, "receiving" is misspelled. Remember, it is I before E except after C. Also, "receiving" should be "received".
That is not what it sounded like last chapter.
Extra space.
There should be commas between the emboldened words.
"Were".
"I'm" or "I am".
1.) Is this some sort of Brazilian pop idol?
2.) Extra space.
Of course her name is: I
Well, I will miss this, it was fun while it lasted. It was very cute, as well. You have a way of making cute, silly stories that I really enjoy. Thank you for sharing your brain goo with us.
~KBO.
6276035 Fixed
I like this story, I expected it to be mostly funny, but it was mostly sweet instead (still funny though). Since Zoolander is making a sequel, this story should have a sequel as well. I suggest Moonlander 2.
6278503 Oh my glob that's amazing
If I write a sequel thats totally the title
6278622
6278639 I saw this yesterday bruh, Deadpool is the big trailer now :p
6278744 Oooh, thanks for the tip!
I like it.
I like.
WHAT'S THE NAME?
This story is truly under appreciated.
ZOOLANDER REFERENCES