• Member Since 11th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen January 15th

lunabrony


I write stories.

E

Luna is still adjusting to society after her return from the moon. Following the success of Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns, she wants to open up her own education facility. But she's a little behind...

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 48 )

A good concept! I like it :3

What is this, a chapter for ANTS?!?

Interesting... liked, favorited, tracked, and followed.

Dude...

Just...

That title man...

I cannot read this now, but once I get the chance, I am all over it.

I love goofy, awkward Luna. Goofy, awkward Luna + goofy, awkward kids? Nothing but win.

I have a feeling that the school name was created by one of those foals. I mean really, "magic good"? I know a lot of people mix up good and well, but that just sounds so blatantly wrong to me.

I like the story, though. Have an inspirational Pinkie to help you write the next chapter swiftly :pinkiehappy:

It began, as strange days so often seem to, with a pineapple.

So very many pineapples.

Luna's return from her lunar had been recent at this time in our exposition, only several months prior, and it was still the hottest topic of conversation amongst the citizens of Canterlot.

"Lunar" what? Imprisonment? Banishment? Hiatus? Vacation? Field trip?

Luna's Center For Fillies Who Can't Magic Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

"Foals" maybe? Unless it is a female only school.

Similar in race was his father

Okay, so not an all female school.

I shall pick Ocean up at 3.

The other ones were o'clocks so I let them slide, but this one should be spelled out.

morning sunlight

That is actually a pretty cool name for a pony.

"That comes after 8!"

This should be spelled out.

"Welcome little children, welcome one and all!

That quotation mark is unneeded.

It would be awesome if you put a pineapple in every chapter. Though hiding them would prove difficult.

This was cute. The awkwardness that is sure to follow should be hilarious.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

Well, that was a great start. A foal that's been kicked out of many preschools already. Another who swears to be a diamond dog. And that mysterious pineapple that follows the main character everywhere. Luna's off to a good day indeed.

I shall return at 3pm story time, promptly, when the story gets that far. Best of luck!

You had me at the title. I'll be tracking this.

Have an upvote as well.

This doesn't really belong in the All-OC Stories group. I mean... it's a story about Princess Luna.

6205280 But it has Original Characters in it who play a major role.

cant wait for the next chapter!

6208844 Then keep sharing it around so it gets noticed :p Unlike me, still waiting for Senpai...

Is that a Scribblenauts reference I spy?

6209108 I'm not sure, I only ever played it once for a few minutes and hated it. What part? If so, it wasn't intentional.

6209163

The air vent thing. They're all over the place, and probably the most useful item in the game for moving objects without touching them.

6209173 Strangely enough that was from a game, though. The air vents drew inspiration from Alice: Madness Returns, in which you do a LOT of floating.

Ah, Zoolander. Hands down one of the most retarded movies I have ever watched. And yet I still watched it because Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson.:facehoof:

I'm going to read you a story that has been told to many children over the years and is a traditional favorite.

Extra space.

She held up a colorfully bright hardcover book, which indeed displayed three little pigs cowering in a straw house while a nasty, mean looking wolf patrolled outside.

Actually The Three Little Pigs is a progressive book that starts with one pig in the straw house, then two pigs in the stick house, then three pigs in the brick house.

It's almost nine thirty now, so we're going to spend the next hour in free play, so do what you like, and then after 1.)that will begin the first 2.)of three individual sessions to work on your special abilities.

1.) Possible missing "we".
2.) Extra space.

I'm undercover! I'm a wanted dog!

It would be funny if she unzipped her skin and underneath was a diamond dog pup. It would also be horrible because it would mean she really skinned that poor foal.

Celestia stared daggers at her sister with eyes that almost seemed to burst into flame.

Spontaneously combust... Spontaneously combust.

...and as she breeze died down...

"The".

Luna nearly melted at that. Her plan was working!

YES! My evil plan to fill the world up with astronomers is coming to fruition! Then, when everypony is looking up at the heavens(wait, do we even have heaven?), I will move the stars into rude and obscene constellations! SAND!

I read Celestia's lines in Barny the Dinosaur's voice.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

6205391 That may be so, but there are rules with regards to the group. Generally speaking, if the story is tagged with Luna and has her as one of the central characters, the fic may not qualify.

This thread lays it out a little more. Read it and then think about whether your fic fits:

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=42&thread=4244

She glared at Luna once more, but there was love in that gaze despite her annoyance, and she said nothing this time.

Spontaneously combust... Spontaneously combust.

Celestia sat off to the side now, having wriggled out of the dragon suit

She did not pop out of it in front of the children did she? That would be so traumatizing. Like watching Mickey Mouse remove his head. Or Ace Ventura being born out of the rhino. I would post the video, but, yuck.

"This an abacus," Luna said, sitting before them.

Missing "is".

The first row is singles, the second row is tens, the third is thousands, and the fourth row is tens of thousands.

I am not an expert on abaci (abacuses?), however, I am certain hundreds comes between tens and thousands.

"Ocean, that's not-"

Here is an em dash — just for you.

Luna came over, looking from the abacus to the mare who was using it.

"Filly".

Luna's horn lit up, and a gold star appeared out of nowhere, attaching itself to Clovers chest with a harmless tacky side.

Missing apostrophe.

No pins or pricks required.

That is what she said.

Princess Celestia herself. It wasn't as if this was a private or gifted school,

Extra space.

They provide us with many wonderful things. Like flowers.

And pineapples.

Can I do another one?

That is what she said.

I do not think Ocean Breeze will grow to be a banker or an amusement park ride attendant (carney). His name implies he will be a ship captain. Like in the Navy or maybe a pirate captain. Or maybe he will just grow up to be Sailor Number Three, or Background Pirate E.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

6230475 CRAP I FORGOT THE PINEAPPLE

*goes in to make little edits*

6230475 Fixed. How the hell do you find extra spaces?

6230524 It could be the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that stabs me in the eye whenever there is too much space between words. Or it could be the tiny screen of my Netbook that forces me lean in close to read. Most likely, though, it is a combination of both.

6230495 MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE you have killed us all:fluttercry:

I had to keep myself from laughing too loudly when I saw Dreamy the Dancing Dragon. Good job.

After that, Clover, it's-"

Monty Python's Flying Circus. Also, this hyphen should be an em dash (—).

"-It will be time for your lesson,"

This hyphen should be an em dash (—).

I found someone to fill in for me, just for one day.

I do not know if I should be happy or sad for Twilight.

Outside, Luna led the attention of the filly and colts to an enormous area about 4x4 feet, covered with a large blue tarp.

"Four feet by four feet". Which, by the way, is not really that enormous. It is actually kind of small. About the size of a sandbox.

Her horn illuminated and snatched the corner of the tarp, yanking it up and off of a brightly colored, short little 4x4 wooden fenced in garden area with a flourish.

"Four by four".

"Ssssaaaaaaaaand!" Luna exclaimed.

:twilightoops::facehoof::rainbowlaugh:Okay, that was worth it. This made my day, right here.

slowly trundling and rolling around the perimeter of the sandy area.

Extra space.

Clover looked alarmed at once. "That's not true! That's impossible!"

Search your feelings! You know it to be true!

I was kind of hoping Clover Red Rover We Call You Over really was a Diamond Dog wearing the skin of a pony. But I guess a Unicorn with an active imagination is just as good, and all the more adorable.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

6247930 Who said it was Twilight? This takes place at the very beginning of season one. Twilight doesn't even have Owlicious yet.

6248475 Who else is Celestia going to get to do something for her that she does not want to do herself?

6247930 You have told me multiple times about the em dashes but I still don't feel right using them. I REFUSE.

Luna looked surprised, and nearly dropped the truck she'd been trying to put back on the self.

This is either very existential, or you meant "the shelf".

A teddy bear, a jigsaw puzzle laid out and half completed, a pineapple, a bowl of apples, a plastic teacup on a plastic saucer.

You missed an "and" here.

Clover, who by all means should have been elated to learn magic, after all, who wouldn't?

This is an incomplete thought.

It simply taxes the mind instead o the body.

Luna briefly becomes Irish here.

I left the hyphens alone. You must have had some traumatic experience to make you hate em dashes so much.:fluttershysad: I will not pry.

This seems to be the penultimate chapter. Unless you have ideas for days two and beyond. However, it does feel like it is wrapping up. I look forward to the next chapter.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

6260497 I love your edits, they make me laugh every time

I'm learning things. For instance, I didn't know what an abacus was until now. Thanks! :pinkiehappy: Lol

6265119 *slowly shakes his head, waving a crochety old stick* You kids today! In my day we didn't have all these fancy gadgets that could tell us everything! We had to go outside! We had to use the dewey decimal system! We didn't have calculators on our phones or all these CGI remakes...

*From the other room* Youre 26, dude...

SHUT UP LET ME YELL AT THE YOUNG PEOPLE

WHAT DID SHE NEED TO SEE THE PRINCESS FOR!!!!!!!!????

I am a little surprised to see the series over already, but it was cute and sweet.

Just as Luna and Clover emerged from the side room where Clover had recieving her magic lessons,

First of all, "receiving" is misspelled. Remember, it is I before E except after C. Also, "receiving" should be "received".

I always knew that Clover was special, and I'm absolutely pleased to have the chance to share her talent with the world.

That is not what it sounded like last chapter.

"My mother doesn't care for it. She says it's a fancy shortcut from physical labor and it's not fair since not everypony can do it."

and truly began to feel like they were making a difference in the lives of their little ponies.

Extra space.

During all this, the remaining two colts Fireball and Ocean Breeze had been playing Uno at one of the brightly colored child sized tables.

There should be commas between the emboldened words.

"Fireball here is just a little upset because Ocean was beating him at the game they wre playing."

"Were".

"I'm sorry I late, I got lost on the way here," the pegasus replied.

"I'm" or "I am".

Cadance smiled patiently, and looked down upon the flustered mare with seemingly limitless amounts of 1.)tolerancea and 2.)understanding .

1.) Is this some sort of Brazilian pop idol?
2.) Extra space.

"My name is-"

Of course her name is: I :heart: :derpyderp2:

Well, I will miss this, it was fun while it lasted. It was very cute, as well. You have a way of making cute, silly stories that I really enjoy. Thank you for sharing your brain goo with us.

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

I like this story, I expected it to be mostly funny, but it was mostly sweet instead (still funny though). Since Zoolander is making a sequel, this story should have a sequel as well. I suggest Moonlander 2.

6278503 Oh my glob that's amazing

If I write a sequel thats totally the title

6278639 I saw this yesterday bruh, Deadpool is the big trailer now :p

6278744 Oooh, thanks for the tip!

WHAT'S THE NAME?

This story is truly under appreciated.

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