• Member Since 12th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Sep 7th, 2019

Thornwing


Just a little, old baby kitty...

E

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, except when you're a princess and you don't have time in your schedule to go see a doctor. Good thing Twilight has friends like Rarity to make sure she takes care of number one.


Celebrating one year on fimfiction.net!

Cover image by OTfor2

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

Short, sweet, to the point. Overall: Well done and a good read!

When was the last time Spike had a doctor's appointment?

C—the Celestia Magazine

This is terrifyingly plausible worldbuilding. I wonder how she feels about it.

Probably fought that sort of celebrity worship for centuries and gradually just resigned herself to the fact that nothing she could do would stop ponies from obsessing over her.

“Princess Sparkle,” the receptionist pony called soon after I got hooked on a piece about deconstructing the mystery of teleportation spells ...

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg

6197524
Shout out to the resident metal dragon.


6197501
Would he have to visit the vet?


6197496
Thanks for the comment and the read -- FIRST!

6197550 He could go to Zecora's she did found out about dragon greed.

6197567
That would work. Fluttershy wouldn't be able to work on dragons, but Zecora makes a lot of sense.

Always nice to read a good fic. Have a fav my friend. :twilightsmile:

VGI

Good read. Short, concise. Well-written and to the point. And yes, the drama.

I got a little confused with the bit where Rarity thanks Twilight for helping her. Threw me off to almost writing it off as writer's error. Thank goodness I read on and found out that it wasn't the case. Still, it could have been clearer sooner. Like maybe Twilight could react sooner, "Wait, wasn't Rarity helping me out to get my test?":applejackunsure:

Anywhoo, this deserves a thumbs up and a fave.:ajsmug:


PS: I used to be part of Art Farm Asia - a pioneering animation training house in the Philippines. We trained several skilled artists the magic of animation...until the Managing Director past away of breast cancer. That put an end to that. I no longer know what happened to the many many animators and animators-in-training that were close acquaintances and friends.

Except for her son and husband (who has remarried since). Both are animation professors and the husband is an MLP G1 animator (yes, he's old and smokes like a chimney. Thank God he doesn't drink). The son, unfortunately, seems allergic to bronies, thinking they are queer.:ajsleepy:

Magicular Degeneration.... jeeze, don't scare me like that. I thought she had Hornpatitis. Or Hornburculosis. Or Hornscular Dystrophy... Or *goes on for several hours*

(And you people think Scootaloo being a flightless pegasus was bad...)

6203612
At least she avoided a full hornoscopy. I mean, we wouldn't want to have to tell her she'd end up being a common earth pony, would we? :raritycry:

6204159

I think you mean a hornectomy. Hornoscopy would just mean looking at it.

6206737
...from the inside. Either way, not something to look forward to.

Thanks for reading! :raritywink:

I got hooked on a piece about deconstructing the mystery of teleportation spells

I love it. :rainbowlaugh:

6204159 I'm sure Twi could cook up a prosthetic horn. She has the technology. :scootangel:

Okay, so I have some mixed feelings with this. It's not bad, but nothing really stood out. I feel this story could have had a much greater impact with a bit of tweaking. The end in particular felt rushed.

I did feel a pang of sympathy for Rarity when the bad news hit, but if there was a bit more time to let it sink in, I feel this story would have had more of an impact.

I did enjoy the Oprah reference and appreciate the foreshadowing with the doctor's name.

My biggest complaint is one thing you did in the story that destroyed my immersion: an "alicorn setting." Am I supposed to believe anomalies like Celestial and Twilight are common enough for horn testers to have an "alicorn setting" in a small farm town like Ponyville? Why would they have it in the first place? You can say that it's because Twilight lives in Ponyville, but why would this doctor have it? There's bound to be more than one doctor for unicorns in this town, or they are seriously screwed. That also implies that alicorn Magic isn't a mystery and is a well studied subject in the medical/magical field. I can't imagine Celestial taking time out of her busy schedule of ruling a country and maintaining celestial order so a few scientists and doctors can poke and prod her horn.

A nitpick? Maybe. But it was so far beyond the limits my willing disbelief went. This alone mostly ruined my experience with this short story.

Other than that, your writing was fine and easy to follow. I was smiling quite a bit during the first half and had me somewhat emotionally invested at one part.

Keep writing, keep improving, and stay awesome.

6252293
Thanks for the feedback!

As much as this is in the style of a limited time writing experiment, I appreciate the good points you have made concerning the depth of the moment.

As to the point of the "alicorn setting", I would just have to point out that I'm not so much saying there is a dial or button with "alicorn" posted on it, but more that the graph axes were out of calibration for a "unicorn" scan. Celestia/Luna/Cadance all have longer horns than the average unicorn. Perhaps there would also be a calibration for "foal" as well. Hopefully that one small point didn't detract too much from your enjoyment of the piece.

Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment.

6252421
Ah, I didn't know this was a time-challenge type of deal.

To be blunt, a sweet piece, but it felt contrived. As you said it was an exercise piece for the most part though, I can't fault that.

Good job writing this

I loved how even civilized, strong ponies like Rarity, can be scared of simple tests, as I would be. And that's quite a scare for Rarity! I thoroughly enjoyed this story! :raritywink::twilightsmile:

In a human universe, you have male and female life forms. In a universe of sentient horses, you have four species or more to deal with.

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