A/N: This is not a romance. There will be romance, but not for a while.
Chapter 1
"I'm getting too old for this," I grumbled as I followed my two grandchildren down the hall, trying not to run into anything.
"Hurry, Grandpa!" Night Dancer, my granddaughter, yelled as she and her brother galloped off towards their room. Hearing this, I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, as I followed the sound of their hoofsteps. Finally, I leaned against the wall and felt my way to the entrance of their door, ensuring it was open before stepping in.
Once I was sure I was inside their room, I slowly trotted forward, kicking a few toys away with my front hooves.
"Grandpa?" Mild Blue asked.
I stopped when I was next to their beds, "Hmmm?"
"Are you going to tell us a story?"
I smiled and gave a nod, "That's the plan. I do it every night, don't I?"
"Can you tell us a story about a knight fighting a bad guy, to get to the princess?" Mild Blue asked happily.
I nodded, a smile appearing on my face, "I sure can...."
"Wait!" Night Dancer yelled out, stopping me before I even started. "Can you tell us a different one?"
"Oh,” I was surprised at the sudden change of request. “Like what?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. They were silent for a few minutes, until I heard a simultaneous ‘mhmm!’ from each of them.
"Can you tell us how you met Grandma?" Mild Blue asked.
I brought my hoof to my chin and thought, "I can, but it's a long story."
"We don't mind!" Night Dancer exclaimed, clearly excited for the story. “We have the time!”
“Hahahaha, sadly, I don’t.” I smiled and sat down on the bed. "Well, it all started...."
"Wait!" Mild Blue yelled out.
"What is it?" I asked while chuckling.
"What was your name?"
I smiled and shook my head slightly, "It was still Travis."
"Oh..."
"As I was saying." I continued, "It all started..."
Sixty four years ago
"Watch it, buddy!" someone yelled out as I accidently bumped into them. Grabbing onto him for balance, I knew it was a guy, for where I grabbed, was a guy’s chest, as well as, his voice wasn’t so charming.
Relieving my grip of him, I held up a hand and motioned an apology. "Sorry, I can't..."
Interrupting my apology, something had pushed me, causing my body to stumble back slightly, a bit off balanced. I pulled on the leash within my grasp, and heard a yelp from my guide dog.
"Sorry ain't gonna cut it!" he yelled.
Someone off to the side, maybe a few feet, started talking, "Derek, stop it! Just look at the guy!"
"Yeah," someone else said, "I think he's that one guy, you know, the blind one."
"Do I look like I care?" the first guy, apparently Derek, said.
Grabbing onto my shirt, my body was shook slightly and pushed, as if I was being warned again, for the umpteenth time. "He should be watching where he walks!"
"The irony of that statement," I replied calmly with a hint of smartass. "How can I watch where I'm walking? I'm blind. If anything, you should have been watching where you were walking."
"Don't blame this on me!" he yelled in my face, giving me another violent shake.
"No! Derek, don't do it!" a female’s voice exclaimed.
Someone, Derek I believe, being the only threat, pulled the leash out of my grasp.
"Give. It. Back." I calmly emphasized on each word.
"Make me," he said, putting his hands on my chest.
Pushing me back a few feet, I had nearly fallen, save for that one person who caught me.
"Derek, give it back!" the female of the group yelled out.
"Yeah, man! This guy didn't mean to run into you!" the guy who caught me said angrily.
I heard someone laugh briefly, "Why should I?"
"Not cool man..." someone else said off to the side.
"Hey," Derek said as I heard him walk my way, causing the guy behind me to slowly let go of me and back away. Why were they scared of him? Aren’t they his so called friends? "How old are you? Seventeen?"
"I'm twenty four," I said plainly.
"Oh?" he said with a snicker, "You mean I'm picking on an adult?" A small sigh escaped my lips as I brought my hand to my face in frustration. Yes, dealing with someone as ignorant as this, gets completely tiring and old. "Hey, I asked you a question!" he yelled as he put his face in front of mine. I could tell that he was face to face with me, because one, his breath was terrible! Two, I felt the spit fly out of his mouth, and directly onto my cheek.
"I thought you would have already known the answer to that stupid question," I said in annoyance. "Did I stutter?"
"You little fucker!" he growled, giving me a hard shove. I stumbled back, tripping over something that laid on the ground, forcing my already loosely fitted sunglasses to fall from my face. Falling to the ground, I landed on my ass with a heavy thud.
"Derek, just stop it man!" one of his friends, warned.
I heard what sounded like two people struggling with something. Then came a heavy smack, as if one had hit the other.
"No! How about you just stop?!" Derek yelled angrily.
A few seconds later, I felt someone grab my shirt collar and pull me back to my feet.
"Derek please!" the female yelled out. "Don't hurt him! He didn't do anything to you or us!"
"Do I look like I care?!" Derek yelled out, giving me another hard shove, causing me to stumble back. This time however, I was able to keep my footing, as my small victory, may it be short lived, I heard a klaxon and the screech of tires. The next thing I know, screams of a crowd were heard and heavy metal slamming into me.
I felt my body roll over what could have only been a car's hood, and then the sickening impact of pavement.
Then nothing.
All my senses slowly faded away, followed by a feeling of intense nausea.
I then let out a small cough as I felt a heavy pressure press down on me. The pressure became heavier and heavier, making my body feel like it was about to be crushed. Then, the pressure began to slowly recede.
Soon, my senses began to return. But, as I slowly began to tell, I was no longer on the hot pavement of a street. I was now on what felt like stone, or many stones pressed together. Cobblestone?
A few seconds later, my sense of hearing returned, but, instead of the sounds of cars and a screaming crowd….. I heard, birds? And …Wooden wheels?
"Hey!" someone yelled, "Get out of the road!"
What? But, I can't even move... I thought briefly.
I started to respond, but noticed that I felt no pain. As in, I could feel my whole body, but there was no pain present.
Hows that possible? I know for a fact that I was just hit by a car...
"Hello! Are you listening to me?!" I heard the man yell, followed by what sounded like two wooden poles hitting the ground.
"I..." I began, but my voice came to a sudden halt as I brought my hand to my face. This thing, it wasn't my hand. It wasn't even a hand. It was more like a large, meaty, stub with a hard point. Before I had made another move, something grabbed me and forced me to stand on... all fours? Whatever it was, it had grabbed me with two stubby pole-like things, kind of like what had taken the place of my hand.
"Are you all right in the head? Or, are you just stupid?" the same guy asked as he began to push me backwards and onto a curb.
"I... I..." I stuttered, to shocked to make full sentences.
The man sighed, "Forget it. Just stay out of the streets, alright?"
I gave a nod.
I heard him walk off, but, his steps sounded weird. It sounded like he was wearing shoes that were made… Of wood! Where am I? The Stone-Ages?
After a second, I gave my head a shake, hoping to ease the pain of, ’what the hell was going on’ and refocused on myself.
Wanting to get up from the cobble stoned ground, I tried standing up straight, but the second my new appendages came off the ground, my body went forward and sent me to the ground with a heavy thud.
"What the..." I began as I shifted around on the ground, trying to stand back up. But, something was wrong. Very wrong.
When I ran my new parts over my body, I could feel... fur? Very short fur…More like a coat for the matter of fact. And when my hands made it to my legs, I could instantly tell that my legs were in the wrong position.
"Are you okay there?" a female's voice asked as the owner of the voice helped me stand up. On all fours.
"I'm fine.." I muttered as I tried to make sense of my own body.
"Ummm, can you tell me something?" I asked, looking in the direction that I had heard her voice.
"Sure, but I'm over here," the girl said as she turned my head in her direction.
"Oh sorry..." I said in a low voice and coughed slightly. "Umm, do I look right to you?"
She laughed and patted me on the shoulder with her stubby... hand thing.
"You look like everyone else," she said as she removed her hand from my shoulder. "Why do you ask?"
I shook my head, "No reason..."
"Ah, okay," she said as I heard her start to walk away.
Okay, what am I going to do? I thought to myself as I turned my body in different directions.
Something is clearly wrong here. First off, I should be dead by now. Or at least paralyzed, I’m pretty damn sure I heard my legs snap when the car hit me. Secondly, what is wrong with me? My body... isn't even my body. It's all screwed up! I'm only able to walk on all fours, and my arms are round and flat.... What is going on here? I thought as I turned in one direction and began to walk forward, only able to take two steps before tripping on myself.
"Damn it..." I muttered as I slowly stood up, almost falling back over in the process.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I heard the girl from before ask as she walked towards me.
I sighed and nodded, "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," she insisted.
"I am!" I said loudly as I turned and forced myself to walk in the opposite direction. Sadly, I was unable to prove my point as I ran face first into something solid, bouncing me back and onto my rump.
"Okay, now I know something is wrong. Who walks into a wall?" she said as she helped me stand back up.
"Nothing is wrong!" I snapped.
I heard her stomp her foot against the ground. "Listen here!" she growled, "I'm only trying to be nice! If I wanted, I could have just kept walking when you fell over! I'm sick and tired of all you ungrateful..."
"I'm blind," I simply and calmly interrupted her, which in turn, stopped her from her rant. Awkward silence filled the air as I heard her kicking at the ground.
Finally, she broke it, "I'm... I didn't know."
"It's fine." I waved off the apology, with my… stub.
"Are... are you really?" she asked, stepping closer, to me to which I nodded.
A few seconds passed before I felt something press into my forehead and push my head back slightly.
"What are you doing?" I asked in a slightly annoyed voice.
She chuckled lightly. "Sorry, just wanted to make sure you weren't lying."
I sighed and shrugged, "Can I go now?"
"Where do you live? I know my way around Manehattan, so, if you want, I can take you to your place," she offered.
I shook my head, "No, it's fine. I think I can find my way back home."
Manehattan?
"You sure? I don't want you to run into anything, or anypony."
I shrugged and took a step, "No, I'm fine. I'll just be..."
'Did she just say... anypony? What the...'
"Umm, what did.. What did you just say?" I asked slowly, repeating my statement.
"What?" she asked in return.
"You said... anypony." I said in a slightly trembling voice. “Am, I right?” Please be wrong.
"Uhh, yeah? It's like anybody, but has the same meaning," she said in a slightly concerned voice.
"I, uhh... why would you use such a term?" I asked, as anyone would if someone started saying ‘pony’ just for the kicks of it.
She chuckled, "Well, I guess it fits."
I... I just have to ask this...
"Ummm, are you a pony?" Stupid question, but...
"Well duh, what else could I be?" she said, followed by a small laugh.
"And me?" I said, feeling light headed.
"You? You're also a pony, an earth pony, like me. Why do you ask?"
I shook slightly and brought my hand to my face. Actually feeling it completely. I then noticed that my eyes felt larger than they should be, and my nose... was arched and stuck out more than it should have been. When my hand went higher, I felt large ears pointing straight up.
"Umm, are you doing okay?" she asked in concern.
"I... I..." I stuttered as everything finally sunk in.
I... I was a pony...
I started to try and walk away, but stumbled over my awkward feet and fell face first on the ground.
The girl ran over and placed her hands on my back. She was saying something, but I couldn't hear her. My brain was going crazy, this was just too much to handle!
Seconds later, I was out.
The stories of an independent black woman... I mean blind guy
cool
You got my attention.
662049
Ok, this was my laugh for the day, thank you kindly.
I shall be watching this with great interest.
Hmmm... I'm not sure if it would be easier or harder to write without describing the appearance of objects... How easy was it to write this compared to a normal story?
You have caught my attention tracking
Cool story so far
662086
It's a little hard. I had to back track a few times and fix some scenes.
Compared to writing a normal story, this was very different.
662114 How often did u accidentally write imagery and have to erase it?
662049 ಠ_ಠ
662114 From now, you need help along the way, I be there man.
i like were this is going
662121
Hmmm, six times.
also... Welcome to Paradise
this is gonna be epic
I'm finding this very interesting
Continue sir
This is awesome and sad at the same time.
Interesting, consider my attention gained.
Original HiE story?!?!?!?! IMPOSSIBRU!
Hum. Well, speaking as a person who uses a cane and, in fact, read this using a screen reader, I'm kinda interested in seeing how this goes. I'm always overly defensive when someone writes something about "my people", but I'll give you a fair shot.
Keep in mind, don't go dropping out descriptive imagery entirely. Blind people might not hear any better than sighted folk, but we do have more practise at recognizing and distinguishing different sounds. Tactile details are also very important to us; make use of these details in your story.
Also, your very first sentence has an error in it. Should probably fix that, first impressions and all.
662433
Really? Would you mind telling me more? It will help me greatly in writing this.
Man! That was my OC's color scheme. Yours was blue and grey, mine is blue and white. And I was just about to make a story with him in it!
Darn you!
But oh well. I was aiming for uniqueness, but oh well. Hmm.... maybe a dusty-colored red or a green would look good on my guy...
Definitely going to follow this one.
A blind man with his last name as "McLuck"
OH, SWEET IRONY HOW I MISSED YOU.
662609
I made that comment so long ago... like a week I think. When he put up the concept thingy.
662515
And the error is that 'to' should be 'too'.
good sir, you have my full attention. Great job so far! can't wait to see more! liked and Favorited!
Interesting take on the 'Human turned into Pony' style of fic. Speaking as somepony who possesses all five senses (I've yet to evolve a sixth), this is rather well-written.
Sadly, I believe people like 'Derek' are all too common in this imperfect world of ours. Which is why, yes, Equestria must seem like paradise. It's so cruel, to be taunted with such a world in television. Doubly so if you're there, but can't even see it.
1, I want to find out what happened with Derek with so many witnesses around.
2, Why didnt the dog attack Derek? He had it coming.
3, I'll admit, I was hesitant when i say the characters list, but this is fairly good so far. You have my trust as a tracker. Dont squander it.
662515 I'll happily answer any questions you may have, and if you wanna run any ideas past me, go for it. But, as I'm sure you can imagine, it's kinda hard to just describe being blind/very low sighted to someone who isn't. I can give some basic thoughts, though.
He would be damn concerned about his dog (picture getting lost in a foreign country where you don't really know the language, and at the same time losing your map, translator, phone, and best friend). Unless you have some plans about this, maybe consider swapping the dog for a cane. You left the opening vague enough that it would be believable.
He should have a really well developed sense of spatial awareness (knowing where things are in relation to each other). As such, learning where furniture is, and having a good idea of his neighborhood, would be high priorities.
Probably hard to write for someone who's never done it, but he'd be good at telling others enough about his handicap to communicate what he needs from them. Don't write him as being too awkward about it.
stuff like uneven cracked pavement is a pain, once. Sighted guides often don't notice it, and don't warn the blind guy. However, its the kind of thing that he'll only get caught on once; that spatial awareness thing? You remember places where you've faceplanted, trust me.
Unfamiliar stairs suck. I'm sure everyone can guess why.
As I say, it's kinda hard to think up specifics. I do think you did a really good job in the opener; I meant to praise that earlier but I guess I forgot.
662794
662760
There are a lot of assholes in the world. I've had plenty of people hassle me, and games of keep-away were fairly common when I was younger. As for the dogs, people are assholes about them too. PETA is trying to abolish the practice of guide dogs, and lots of people treat them like normal pets, which is distracting and frustrating. As for why it wouldn't attack, it's highly unlikely that the dog would be trained as both a guide and a guard. The dog is extremely well trained and conditioned, and not being threatening is a part of that training. Who's gonna help a blind guy asking for directions, if his dog is growling at them? As for Derek, in this case (as he probably straight up manslaughtered a guy) he'd be going to jail. However, there are lots of cases of abuse that never get reported, and lots that are never resolved. It sucks, but it is a reality.
All i have to say is it sounds interesting, and i will continue reading.
Just remember to pace yourself, and grammar!
It's really interesting though...
Read 5-6 hours ago, then passed out after reading, so i forgot to make a real comment.
Really want to see more of this :D
At the moment, I quite like it. As 663356 said, pacing will be important for this story. I'm looking forward to the look at what exactly it would mean to be blind in Equestria, as well as if the world is adapted to fit. I'll be keeping an eye on this. :)
Yay a new Story
Continue :D
I REALLY can't wait to see how this one turns out...
oh this is perfectly perfect.
This should be interesting
He didn't have a cane to feel for things?
664210
Well, he had a dog.
Plus, as you'll find out as you read, Travis isn't like most people. He's slightly stubborn.
Do want moar.
662049