• Member Since 7th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Sunday

RainEStar


Shadows cannot exist with light. Where there is light, shadows spawn. There must be balance. And that burden belongs to me...

E

Sunset Shimmer is still having trouble getting over her past. Twilight doesn't mind helping her, but couldn't Sunset have waited until morning?



Written as a birthday present for my good friend Christianwriter15.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 17 )

cute:twilightsmile:

I liked this, short and simple, but also heart warming.

6187556
Aww... Thanks!

6187824
Thanks! Surprisingly, I based this story on personal experience.

Its a nice short slice of life. I do wish it was less, block of sunset/twilight s experiences and perhaps more back and forth?

Through given that their communicating by magic book the way you've done it matches what they use.

6189233
Yeah... I wish they were having an actually conversation but due to the story's premise the only conversation I could squeeze in was that bit in the end. I guess I could have changed the premise so I could have had a conversation, but I decided to keep it like this so it would be simple enough for me to do. I'm still trying to perfect my writing abilities especially with slice of life stories.
Thanks for the critical feedback!

6189279 no worries! Good luck on writing. There used to be a few writing guide on fimfic, if you can find them they may be helpful.

Well, it makes sense. When Sunset stole the Element of Magic it was in the middle of a schoolday in CHS but it was night in the Crystal Empire.

6190331
:rainbowhuh: :pinkiegasp:
I actually... didn't think about that. How it worked in my head was that the human 6 stayed up till morning doing whatever. But good call! It appears time is not the same across dimensions

This was decent enough for what it was.

A few things I noticed along the way:

When the Twilight finally made it home she was relieved

Oops.
*home,

With sleep ladened eyes, Twilight blearily looked outside the window, expecting to the sun shining overhead,

*sleep-ladened
You just told us her eyes were sleep-ladened. 'blearily' adds nothing except a bit of irritation for telling us things you just told us.
*to see the

After all, Twilight never had destroyed others friendships

*others'

The day I left Ponyville I not only left her

*left for Ponyville,

6571817
Thanks for pointing out those typos. I hereby declare them, exterminated!:twilightsmile:

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

It's been awesome hanging the girls today

Small wonder you're feeling guilty, Sunset... don't hang your friends. It's just rude. That aside, a nice little tale about the guilt that comes with being forgiven too easily. Good work, and thanks.

Comment posted by RainEStar deleted Jan 8th, 2018
Comment posted by RainEStar deleted Jan 8th, 2018

6707355
It's been months since this story's publication and those typos are still squaring on my literature!:twilightangry2:

*splat*

Now that that's been taken care of, thanks for pointing that out and I'm glad you liked this story!:twilightsmile:

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