6 - Dust and Pollen
“In death or in excess
Both the slave and the empress
Will return to the dirt I guess
Naked as when they came”
—”Montezuma” by Fleet Foxes
The run from Newtown was of haste and to a degree, shame. I felt awful. Of course I somehow would manage to light something on fire, none the less an entire building! I knew we needed to get out of there before it spreads and the heat and smoke kill us. If people come back, they won't have a home because of me. I already obliterated the medicine supply in my short sightedness.
If I wasn't so… sick… this wouldn't have happened.
I secretly prayed for rain to a God I didn't believe in. Perhaps if there actually was one, they'd take pity. Either there was no God or they just didn't care. It remained as dry as ever.
Newton still burned.
So like a coward, I ran.
I could still see the smoke cresting the hills as we moved away at a brisk pace. I was actually galloping at some point. Yuri kept up as well as he could with a sore paw. When I heard him start to yelp again, I stopped. All I could do was hug him and apologize over and over again. I apologized for being stupid and causing a building to explode. I apologized for even going on a goddamn hiking trip in the first place. I began to apologize for things I didn't even think I did. On and on I babbled.
Yuri listened and offered a comforting lick here and there.
We stayed close together as smoke and embers drifted into the sky.
We resumed our travels once I pulled myself together again. We couldn't stop now, not that we were getting closer and closer to home. I resolved that once there we'd take a good, long rest. I think we both have done more than our fair share of traveling, but we still had many miles to go.
It still remained dry and the heat began to pick up as June approached. The sun was beating down on the fields of wheat and barley, sending the smell of baking bread into the air. I found myself having to stop and rest in the shade at some point and I found that I could no longer sweat and panting only did so much to cool me down. I was forced to consume much more water than I thought just to stay at a stable temperature. Buzzing my wings, however, offered me some respite from the standing heat.
I now understood how Yuri must feel. He had on a fuzzy coat during the summer, but I had a whole goddamn suit of armor.
Perhaps bug monsters aren't suppose to be in hot temperatures? Judging by the fact I have excellent night vision, we were probably a nocturnal species that don't even come out during the day. Regardless, I was going to need to be more careful when traveling. The last thing I needed was to have a heat stroke and die out in the middle of no where.
At one point, we stopped to rest in a rather large farmstead. It was a large three story house that was painted white with a brown roof. There was a chimney that I hoped was actually functional. That meant I could actually cook something to eat. I didn't go inside yet as I wanted to search the property for any farm life.
There I found a milking parlor, but it was completely empty and dry. I examined the fencing around and found the high tensile wires have simply snapped. I reckoned that once the power failed, there was no stopping the cattle from just leaving. I have been around cattle before. If a cow decided she didn't want to stay there anymore, there wasn't really much you can do to stop a nearly two thousand pound animal. It seemed that was the case here. The electric fencing went down and the cattle left for greener pastures.
It was the same story with the hogs. The wooden fencing was chewed through and pushed out, the only evidence of pigs about were little trotter prints in the dried mud. Pigs are smarter than what people give them credit for so it didn’t surprise me that they were able to escape.
Chickens, however, not so much. I found a large enclosed coop of full of thin and miserable looking chickens. They had since run out of food and have eaten every single blade of grass in their enclosure. The broken egg shells littered about told me that they turned to eating their own eggs in desperation. There was a single chicken skeleton, picked clean. I opened the door and let them all out. They clucked about happily once free of their prison and to my shock, surrounded me.
I thought they might mistake me for a giant, tasty cricket, but surprisingly they just cooed and fluttered around me for a minute or two before rushing forth to snap up grass and bugs. One looked up at me and clucked loudly until I picked her up in my forelegs.
It was so surreal, she let me pick her up so easy! Chickens usually don't like strangers hassling them and what made it even weirder is when the hen touched her beak to my snout, it almost seemed like a little kiss. Blushing from how goddamn cute that was, I put her down and she waddled back to her flock.
Odd. Perhaps they were grateful? I couldn't read minds, but it seemed so. I was just glad I could let them out.
Yuri and I sat and watched them wander off into the fields.Maybe they were following the trail of the hogs and cattle? I imagined now that there was nobody to tend to them they'd revert back to their natural state. Wild pigs, cows and chickens! I doubt they'd be so good for the environment, but probably not as bad as what people have done.
I tried hard not to think about large scale factory farms.
The farmhouse was comfortable and pleasant. I was pleased to see that the fire place indeed was functional, so I started a cooking fire. Just the simple act of preparing and cooking lunch seemed to make me feel a lot better. It was even nicer to have that pleasant feeling in your belly. I heated up some canned beef stew in the pot. With my smaller size, I found I ate a little less and one can was good enough to satisfy both Yuri and I. This meant supplies would last me even longer than I originally planned.
We ate and rested. It was starting to get hotter as summer approached, so I imagined that houses would become more unbearable with the lack of air conditioning. They’d essentially be huge ovens unless they were under natural shade.
It was a good rest, however, and as soon as the pleasant sleepy feeling after a good meal passed, we packed up and left the farm behind.
In our journey, we passed multiple small towns and suburbs. Their immaculate lawns were becoming overgrown in the warm and rapidly approaching summer heat. I didn't stop to look through them as they probably didn't have what I needed in them. The less I looked through empty receptacles of humanity, the less It would weigh on my conscious.
Just keep moving, I told myself. Don't stop walking.
And walking we did until Bethlehem rose out of the encroaching woodland and greenery like its biblical namesake. Heavy trees bent over old brick and mortar buildings. Like everything else I encountered, it was empty and quiet. The only sound was the rustle of leaves and the squeaking of hanging signs in the breeze.
I was incredibly thankful to spy a pharmacy that wasn't burned down. It was a simple little mom and pop place and I dearly hoped it wouldn't be locked up like in Fort Knox. I decided to make it my first stop. The door was a simple glass door and checking the doors, I found it to be locked tight, but it was just one big pane of glass. I unhitched myself from my little cart and simply kicked the damn thing in. My back legs were a bit more powerful now and hardened skin gave me some protection from the shattered glass. I commanded Yuri to stay with the cart as I made my way inside.
It was absolutely crowded inside. Large shelves were stocked with everything from cold remedies to bottled old timey soda and candy. I was very glad to see that the metal shutters over the pharmacy counter was only pulled a little bit down. A set of keys and a moldy cup of coffee told me that the poor person was in the middle of locking up when the magic bullshit happened. I had to stack up boxes of soda just to reach the front counter to kick in the glass.
I was surprised how easy it was. Just a couple weeks ago I was terrified of jaywalking in case I got in trouble. Now, I was breaking into locked buildings and setting some on fire. Perhaps I was becoming desensitized to everything? Sure it was about survival, I had to keep telling myself that even if there were cops around, they had more important things to worry about besides a bug getting some medication.
When I found my medications in big jars, a sense of relief flowed over me like a dam bursting. Just holding the three jars in my hooves felt so wonderful. Tears prickled my eyes. I wouldn't have to be so terrified of going off my medication. Thinking about the withdrawal… the symptoms… it was almost too much. I was so glad I wouldn't have to face that.
I put them in a plastic bag and carried it triumphantly outside. Yuri must have sensed my happiness, because he began to walk in circles with his tail wagging hard and his muzzle in a happy doggy grin. I smiled and petted him as I put the medicine in my cart. Yuri was just so damned pleased that he let out a few loud barks. I winced from the noise.
Then I heard it.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
I froze. Yuri also went still, pricking his ears and tilting his head.
”Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Oh no. I knew that sound.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
There was a goddamn baby in that town.
I left the cart where it was. There wasn't any time to lose hooking it up and taking it along. This, to me, was a matter of life or death.
I ran as fast as my little hooves could carry me. I kept my ears perked as Yuri lead the race. His hearing was much better than mine and he seemed to know which way to go. As we ran through town, the sound of the wail grew closer and closer until we found ourselves in front of a small one story house.
"Hello?" I called out. I hoped to dear God that there was someone there with the baby.
The only answer I got was the wail growing higher in pitch.
I tried the door and found that it was locked. So I turned around and kicked the door as hard as I could. Unlike the glass door of the pharmacy, it only dented slightly. Yuri barked and ran to the windows and looked back to me and whined. Taking the hint, I ran to them.
They were low enough to the ground where I could kick them in. The sound of shattering glass seemed to make the baby cry louder. Yuri squeezed past me, not even caring about the glass that could cut his paws up again as he ran into the darkness. I followed his fuzzy form as he made a beeline towards the back of the house.
The smell hit me first. It was like being next to an open sewer. The sickly, heavy smell of excrement and sickness. Yuri nudged open a door where the crying was strongest and I mentally prepared myself for what I would see.
I could not prepare for what I saw. How could I? I was in a nursery. The walls were painted a soft blue where little framed pictures of Winnie the Pooh characters hung. There were piles of stuffed animals, toy blocks and large plastic cars. In the middle was a crib where a mobile of little rocket ships and stars hung over it. It was there the crying ebbed down into a watery weak cry and the smell intensified. I had to push a box over to stand on and then I braced myself to take a look.
There, in absolute filth, was a tiny foal. He was a soft peach color, with a short brown mane and tail. Tiny little wings stuck out from his back, matte down with filth and grime. The diaper was ill fitting and wasn’t changed in days. The worst was how bony and thin he was. How weak he was. He was only able to turn his head slightly and look at me with large amber eyes, which were crusted up with neglect.
My heart caught in my throat as a smile graced the tiny being’s face. He uttered a soft giggle and struggled to lift up his little forehooves in the ‘pick me up’ gesture. I was flabbergasted. I could sense the pain this little infant was in, but there was a sudden blossoming of warmth stemming out from him. I reached down as gently as I could and picked him up. I cradled him gently to my chest, not caring about the smell or the filth or anything like that. I just held him and he weakly nuzzled into the crook of my arm with a tiny muzzle. He let out a tired, content sigh. Yuri padded over and softly licked the child until he giggled softly.
I bent my neck down and gently kissed him on the forehead and rocked him gently. I could feel his heart grow weaker and weaker, but there was a sense of contentment and peace that seemed to radiate off the child. I tried not to cry and spoil the last moments this child had left on Earth, but I couldn’t stop hot bitter tears from sliding down my face. I continued to hold and rock the child for what seemed like hours. Minutes maybe? Time seemed to stop. The foal took on last gasping breath and then breathed no more.
I continued to hold the baby until he grew cold in my arms; my chitin doing jack shit to keep him warm.
It was then I cried.
I found out the baby’s name. His name is… was… Tyler. Little Tyler.
I cleaned him up the best I could with no running water and wrapped him in a soft fleece blanket. I could barely stand to look at the poor kid, the peaceful look on his face didn’t match the bones that jutted up from his skin.
The backyard had a large tree and a beautiful garden. Bees and butterflies were everywhere, coming by to sip the nectar out of an ocean of colorful flowers. I didn’t have a shovel, so Yuri and I dug under the tree. He would dig for a bit and would then rest for me to take over. Back and forth we did this until we dug a fairly deep grave. With all the care I could, I placed little Tyler inside with a stuffed giraffe. Something to keep him company so he wouldn’t be alone. I had to choke back tears as I began to fill in the grave. I made a cairn of stones over it to keep animals from digging him back up. To mark the burial site, I placed a framed photo of Tyler over the mound of stones.
I sat there mournfully, just looking. Yuri laid down beside the grave and rested his head on the pile of stones. He sighed sadly. The feeling of grief was overwhelming. I sat there, weeping for the little life that was snuffed out before they had a chance to live. How long did that poor child lay there all alone slowly starving to death? Was this my fault? Could I have gotten here in time if I didn’t take all those moments to rest?
I thought of my mother when she was buried. There was a poem I knew that I recited then. With a shaky voice, I recalled it and recited it a second time.
“No winter without a spring
And beyond the dark horizon
Our hearts will once more sing…
For those who leave us for a while
Have only gone away
Out of a restless, care worn world
Into a brighter day” *
I kept my vigil until the sun set and the cool night took its place. It was then we took our leave, but I knew I would be mourning for a long time.
I numbly fetched the wagon. It felt like I wasn’t there. That I wasn’t real. It seemed everything was on autopilot. I didn’t know where to go. Yuri had to pull me along. He lead me to a house with an open door. There, I unhitched and collapsed. I didn’t want to think or feel anymore. Every time I tried, the smiling face of Tyler would appear and a deep stab would go through my heart. It was only a matter of time until the same thing happened to me. How long will it be until I died all alone and afraid? Would there be anyone there to hold me as I drew my last breath?
I didn’t care anymore. I ignored Yuri’s gentle whines and sniffs.
I just wanted to sleep.
It was dark and cold.
Wind blew fiercely over a landscape of shattered buildings and snow. The sky glowed an eerie green casting poisonous looking light over the dim world.
The larger slabs of knocked over walls and sidewalks had shadows burned into them. There were humans and little horses alike. They seemed happy as they frolicked together, the moment captured forever in silhouette burned directly into the concrete and brick.
There was nothing left but sorrow. Nothing left but cold.
I walked alone in the wind and snow.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I wanted to be away. If I stopped moving, I would surely freeze to death.
I passed numerous charred skeletons. Some human. Some horse. Some a horrible twisted mess of the two. All burnt, black, brittle and half buried by frost and ice.
I looked up and saw her.
Princess Luna stood like a ghost. Her form flickered in and out of existence like a bad TV channel. Her blue coat was a stark contrast to the green and white. She look on at me as I drew closer, her expression unreadable and firm through the static.
A sense of rage crossed over me when I saw her.
“How dare you,” I whispered.
She inclined her head slightly towards me.
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!” I shouted. “YOU FUCKING BITCH!”
She merely stood, her expression remained neutral but firm.
“YOU SHOULD HAVE LET US ALL DIE!” I screamed with all the pent up rage and grief I’ve bottled since this whole thing began. “YOU HAD NO RIGHT!”
I collapsed in the snow and cried. My tears froze as they dripped from my cheeks, but I didn’t care. Luna merely watched, the only thing moving was her nebula for a mane and tail.
I thought about baby Tyler. I thought of the person who had crashed in the car. I thought about the millions of trapped animals slowly starving to death. I thought of elderly people trapped in nursing homes. I thought of people waiting on an operating table for a life saving surgery that will never happen. I thought of the International Space Station. Was there someone trapped up there watching the Earth as their oxygen levels grew lower and lower?
Was this whole planet doomed to become a world of corpses?
Luna watched me cry for a little while. Eventually, I heard the soft crunching of snow as she drew nearer.
“Tell me, would you have wanted to die?”
Her simple question cut me deep as I laid there in the snow. It took a while to think through the thick haze of grief and pain.
I decided to be honest.
“I...I don’t know.”
.
.
.
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lh5.googleusercontent.com/E78PaQTPevo_4q9Nj9oa_VLSDv8ORkCyiLVkX80VY8cnVYShpg8pkmJauEf-cFeDEAvpxd2PgKtUqpKROY1s3nfrNq69Eshpv1xYWHqCzDsvmGlccFLgWfc7WOUZnuTE
Changelings: Undisputed masters of skulking in the darkness.
Ugh...
At least the poor, poor little guy didn't have to die alone.
the sad mathematics the princesses had to practice the death of an entire planet over 7 billion or death of thousands. There seems to be no perfect answer
Never in my life have I been so emotionally impacted by a chapter! This is the saddest thing I've seen in a very long time. The fact this might be just too sad is nearly putting me off getting this.
Damn.... Just.... Damn
This just made me feel... Bad. I can't help but think now; all those poor people locked up in jail, those in hospital, those all over the world. They are doomed to a slow and painful death
And I will state that your dream made me think of metro's surface
Now j need to think of happy things
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Don't worry guys, something this sad will not happen for the rest of the fic. I swear.
Also jesus christ Bluemoon that is horrifying! Oh my god!
6402819
Yay! Thank god for that
The plane crash is maybe the darkest thing in the game short of the quarantine level Be glad I didn't show you the kid asking her dad about them catching cancer with a fishing rod
Oh no, Tyler... we only knew for two paragraphs before you died...
6403523 <-
Damn. I knew somebody would write about this exact situation at some time, but it still hit hard. Really hard, especially because it's so damn well written. Being a father of three little kids didn't help to lessen the impact of course. It hurt.
Your Luna continues to be amazing, even when she only gets one line of text and two forelegs in a great drawing. You convey her presence perfectly, like the point of the whole dream was just her standing there.
You are a great author and I hope you're going to feel better soon.
6403935 Thank you C:. Give your kids hugs cause kids are awesome! And I'm getting better, it just takes time.
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Oh should I have built it up more? :O
6404025
No, it was fine, I was just making a joke.
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That's what I get for reading comments at six am LOL
6402819 Alright. I hope to read the next chapter soon, also....man i love you art too. It cute.
P.S: So THIS is what happened during that moment EVERYONE was asleep...
Hmm, looks interesting, into my read it later it goes.
You had my thumbs up, now you have my favorites tab.
6404025 Meh, it wasn't terrible. It just needed a little more oomph. Perhaps if you dragged it out a bit (as terrible as that sounds lol) and had Melissa actually try for the rest of the day to nurse the little guy back to health, only to fail in the end. I think it would have made a bigger impact.
Also, forgot to mention, there was an instance when she called Tyler 'Taylor.' There go your editors hard at work
6406549 Thanks! I'll be sure next time to drag out the suffering a bit more lol. If I ever go back and rewrite this i'll probably make the scene longer. And fixed! Thanks for pointing out any errors you see, I appreciate it :B
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6406604 That's a matter of taste I'd say. I thought the length was perfect: dragging it out would increase the pain, but making it short and relying on expressive language made the impact... well, an impact, close to the real meaning of the word. One that left a little crater in my soul.
Dragging it out gives the reader time to prepare for the inevitable and get their shield up. Depends on if you want to torture your readers or shock them to tears. Even in its brevity it was still a very tender moment, that's what made it painful.
My perspective on it.
6402008 Not thousands, billions. A billion or two will inevitably die in the process, maybe more. Some are in deadly conditions from the start - like this poor child (small children are pretty much doomed by the spell), passengers of a moving vehicle or such. Many more are in the places where even someone born and raised as a pony will have problems to survive (and there will be a lot more of those as the time passes and the traces of human civilization vanish), since many humans currently live in places unlivable without that civilization intact. Even more will be killed by the seasons - it's not that hard to survive in mild climate during the summer, but imagine, how many have what it takes to brave even mild winter (or harsh desert summer) in 500 years from the event, when nothing will be left standing, and the survivors won't be able to build enough of new infrastructure yet.
I wonder if there was a way to tweak the spell's working conditions to put children with adults, increase the probability of people reappearing near the repopulated areas, and even remove them from the vehicles and place them on the ground (that is also important since it seems that occupied vehicles reappear with the first person to reappear in it, where the rest go?).
Otherwise, the whole deal is a sort of a good-intentioned massacre.
Still better than total genocide by the magic, but a massacre nonetheless.
6404025 That would've caused at least several grief-induced suicides in the audience. Please, refrain from that.
6407415 You did get the point some or all but alot depends on the order or the reappearances. Humans have survived in almost all corners of the planet before the advent of modern technology.
Still the odds are better than HPI how many did they save maybe a couple of thousand and the entire planet is poisonous to them. all it will take is a failure or two or just the wrong failure. Can't imagine they don;t have the same issue modern humanity has with specialization. How many people are trained and qualified in fixing the critical systems
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Sure, humans did that... but those humans grew into those conditions. And also had fingers. And didn't have to learn how to walk while being in constant mortal danger of freezing or drowning, or getting a heat stroke. Most of the modern humans have no idea what to do if they are suddenly in the middle of the frozen forest, or blazing desert, with nothing but their body hair to use as tools (for those who have hair, think of the changelings). Even if they could remain human, they are mostly doomed in such situation. And that's for adults, children and elderly are in worse situation (unless the spell makes the elderly younger).
HPI have no chances to last longer than two generations. Even if their current crew can fix anything, they will get old and die. So, their only hope is that Alex will find a way to adapt them to magic before their current generation is senile.
I can't imagine that this scenario would not have occurred to the princesses...I mean, they had enough sense to broaden the spell to accommodate all the running machinery and moving vehicles on Earth. it's completely not like someone as anal as Twilight to not have accounted for BABIES.
Yes, the chapter is well written and heartstring tugging. But it's... not consistent with how the metamorphosis is shown to work everywhere else--- with multiple failsafes and safety features. Brutalism has its place, but...This really had to be some sort of a glitch.
Thank you for your story. I'm so sorry to hear your cat passed on, I can only hope that your kitty is watching on from wherever they may be pirched.
It certainly was a tough end to this chapter for sure and was executed so well, had me misty eyed here at work too =') I love your art of the chicken too, that was adorable.
Need a space.
damnit author!
WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! I hate kids! Yet this one dying that we only knew existed for two whole paragraphs makes me wanna cry! 
I haven't shed a tear at whole villages being put to the sword! Not a drop dropped while enjoying my little dashie! But Tyler! Freakin' Tyler is making me tear up! WHAT'D YOU DO TO ME?! 
6508117 it's the emo ninja onions, they sneak into your house and cut themselves to make you cry!
So much death. Poor Melissa. And those chickens. At least the baby went peacefully, and filled with love.
But seriously, having to eat your own offspring is horrifying.
God damn. So many feels.
I'm sad now.
Oh.
Fuck.
God fucking dammit WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
Fuck. This chapter... this chapter cuts deep.