M.F.D.

by kudzuhaiku

Chapter 26

One had to be careful of old houses, old houses had creaky floorboards, creaky stairs, and made it quite difficult to be sneaky. The Stony Scary Cinematic Review, or the Stony Spooky Cinematic review, depending on which playbill one read, was coming up, and Alfredo was rehearsing his part as the evil Doctor Wienerschnitzel. Alfredo did his best rehearsing in the shower, belting out soulful wails amplified by bathroom acoustics.

Which was the reason why Holly was sneaking towards the bathroom door and avoiding traitorous floorboards that might give away her position. She wanted to hear Alfredo sing. His voice was almost magical. Holly had been having plenty of daydreams lately of Alfredo serenading her. That was the dream… being serenaded by a pony who had his own natural tuxedo.

Today was Holly’s day off and she intended to make the most of it, even if she was exhausted. Work had been downright brutal as of late, with the day before yesterday having three fires in one shift, all of which Holly had dealt with with her usual aplomb. There were investigations too, every day she learned a little bit more from Knock Knock.

Alfredo’s big moment was coming up, just a few more days now, and Holly, Knock Knock, and Toot Toot all had the evening off. Holly was quite excited; she liked the music, she liked hearing Alfredo singing, and she secretly wanted to see Alfredo dressed up in drag, something she hadn’t seen yet, but was hoping to see soon.

“...in just seven days… I can make you… a stallion...”

Ears perking at the sound of Alfredo singing, Holly didn’t need seven days. She had already found a stallion she was interested in. The relationship between them thus far could only be summarised as ‘weird.’ Holly was no stranger to one night stands. You meet somepony, you have a few drinks, you shagged, and then it was off to the next city for the next show and you never saw that pony again. It was just a random encounter, a shag with a stranger, some means to scratch the ever present itch.

And Holly had quite an itch.

She had never been this pent up. It was like being a teenage filly again. The dry spell had lasted so long that she was back to having wet dreams, a fact made all the more embarrassing by the fact that Alfredo changed her sheets while she was off at work. She had no idea what sheets soaked in mare musk had to be doing to him, nor did she have any idea what Alfredo must have thought of her… he probably thought she was a nymphomaniac sex fiend.

At least that wasn’t the worst thing he could think about her.

So embarrassing!

So Alfredo had to know that she was suffering, and being the gentlepony that he was, he had done nothing, nothing at all, to take advantage of her, make a move on her, or anything of that sort. It was always ‘Madam this’ or ‘Madam that,’ and Alfredo was entirely too proper. It was impossible for a mare to catch a break.

It would be nice if Alfredo showed a little interest. Holly wouldn’t mind a little rub up against her side. She wouldn’t mind a little nosing. Maybe a caress against her ear. Or coming up from behind her, mounting her, and grabbing her around her middle while he—

Holly lost track of everything, including what Alfredo had been singing. She squirmed, shifting her weight, and then felt the need to escape. She backed away, mindful of treacherous floorboards, and she desperately wanted to scratch her own itch. The problem was where… she was the noisy sort and there was nowhere in this house that she could go and do such a thing without Alfredo hearing it.

The itch was so bad that Holly was ready to ride the arm of the sofa, like she had done once when she was younger. That had ended in disaster, with a soaked, smelly sofa that would never be the same no matter how much cleaning it had endured.

There was no relief in sight. The itch would have to go unscratched. Holly would have to remain unsatiated, her needs not satisfied. Holly crept away from the bathroom door, leaving behind a perfumed cloud of need and desire that she was entirely unaware of, a scent that had a tendency to linger and cling to everything exposed to it.

---

Daring Do’s most recent novel was being turned into a movie Holly discovered as she flipped through Alfredo’s Variety, an entertainment magazine. A casting call was being put out to play a unicorn and an earth pony, both intrepid explorers, for a coming film called The Volcano’s Fury. Holly eyed the article, wondering if she could be an actress. They needed somepony that could deliver lines in what the paper described as a ‘meaningful monotone.’ Holly remembered something about a volcano that had exploded during the past summer, but she didn’t remember much, only reading about it in the newspapers as she had gone on with her life on the roller derby circuit.

The film was going to be a rom-com. Holly snorted. What sort of romance or comedy could possibly happen on a geologic expedition? The whole thing seemed absurd. She flipped the page and continued reading, her eyes scanning the print. There was scandal and controversy, Holly liked that stuff. The latest scandal was the controversial decision to cast an earth pony in the role of a unicorn in the upcoming Stupendous Six movie, a film about the Elements of Harmony. An earth pony mare had been selected for the role of Rarity, a unicorn, and there were already cries of alarm as prosthetic horns looked terrible. They tended to bob around and look awful on screen.

The Singing Stallion of Spring would be coming out soon, another rom-com, a film about a pegasus stallion that attempted to follow Princess Celestia around and serenade her, flying in her general vicinity and caterwauling away to profess his love for the alicorn. Another part involving a prosthetic horn, this time stuck on a pegasus mare.

The real singing stallion of the spring had been arrested, tried, and convicted of stalking, assault, and trespassing after Princess Celestia had rebuffed his many advances. The poor dumb idiot had tried breaking into the castle and had attacked one of the guards. Holly remembered reading about it almost a year ago.

She blinked. She wasn’t stalking Alfredo… no siree… Alfredo lived with her. They shared the same living space. They were bound to bump into one another and there were times that she… that she had to potty and then discovered that Alfredo was in the shower, so she had to stand around and wait.

And she certainly wasn’t reading his newspaper just so she could catch a whiff of his cologne. Nope. She was reading because she was bored. Bored and not horny at all. Nope, not horny at all, certainly not horny enough to hump the furniture and ruin it.

There was a rom-com that needed to happen. The bored, horny fire fighting mare that humped the furniture, and the dutiful, dignified butler, er, maid, stuck cleaning it up, all while making witty one liners, pithy phrases, and doing his duties with a raised eyebrow while giving the camera a knowing look.

Holly squeezed her hind legs together as hard as she could, her dock clenched, and she let out a frustrated, flustered sigh. She could go out somewhere and it wouldn’t be hard to find somepony to have a little fun with, but the trouble was, she didn’t want to find somepony to have a little fun with. She didn’t want another one night stand. She wanted to be a grown up, with a career, and a house, and responsibilities, and all that other stuff that she had.

Besides, a one night stand seemed so pointless… so meaningless. No matter who she found to help her scratch her itch, there was only one pony she wanted. She waved the newspaper and inhaled, catching a whiff of Alfredo’s scent. His cologne, something exotic, with a trace of soap and window cleaner. It was magnificent. Nothing else would satisfy. Holly realised that something might be wrong with her if she found the scent of window cleaner sexy.

But it was.

It was oh so sexy.

Because of whom she associated the scent with.

Alfredo, the tuxedoed stallion, was a sexy, sexy beast with a voice that could make an alicorn’s knees wobble and go weak. Holly closed her eyes and took another deep breath, which she held, and then let out in a long, wistful sigh. She opened her eyes and set the newspaper down upon the table beside the sofa.

She needed to be out of the house. She needed to get away. She needed to go and clear her head. It didn’t matter that it was hovering around zero degrees outside, she needed to get out and go for a walk. Maybe go somewhere. The cold air would do her some good.

“Madam—”

Oh, Holly thought to herself, that voice.

“—I was curious if you would like to go out and watch a movie.”

Holly lifted her head, wondering what Alfredo was up to. She blinked and looked up at him. He was just asking her out to a film, she reminded herself, it didn’t mean that he was flirting or hoping for a shag.

“The Gaslight Garland Theatre is having a Silver Age Saturday Show. Today is a double feature science fiction show with films from the Silver Age. Today’s films are It Came from Gelding Grotto and Princess Celestia’s Plan Nine Versus the Gender Bender Fungus From Outer Space.”

“That sounds wonderful, Alfredo…”

“Madam?” Alfredo’s eyebrow raised. “These films are terrible, but they are so awful that they’re good. A big part of their charm is the silvertone film… a beloved relic of a bygone era.”

“I’d love to go to a movie with you, Alfredo,” Holly said, almost breathless. “After two films, I’m bound to be almost starving to death…” Holly’s open ended suggestion trailed off and she almost regretted saying it. She looked up at Alfredo with wide, hopeful eyes.

“I suppose we can do dinner—”

“My treat, if you pay for the movies,” Holly offered.

Alfredo’s eyes narrowed. “Very well then.” The stallion cleared his throat. “Are we taking the subway, or shall we walk? If we’re walking, we should leave right away, the Gaslight Garland Theatre is a good walk and the sidewalks are a bit slippery.”

Holly nodded. It was cold outside too… freezing in fact, but Holly wasn’t worried about the cold—no, she had a furnace inside that was fully stoked. The scariest thing about the cold would be if Holly’s backside began streaming from all the heat she had just below her tail. It would look like she was breathing from both ends if steam came from both her muzzle and her backside.

She had never felt this way before and she wondered if it had something to do with the fact that she had stopped taking her birth control pills. She felt no need to do so, and hadn’t for quite some time. She hadn’t been shagging for a while. She had grown up, become responsible, and taken control of her life. She was living like a responsible adult, or so she thought.

“Madam?”

“Huh?”

“You’re staring, Madam.”

“Sorry, I uh, was just thinking.” Holly’s reply was sheepish and a bit embarrassed. “I’d love to go for a nice long walk… it will make the theatre all the toastier.”

“Indeed, Madam.” Alfredo nodded, turned, and began to walk away, his tail swishing around his hind legs. “Excuse me while I get my coat, Madam.”

Holly watched him go, her orange tongue flicked out, licking her dry lips, and then vanished. His hind legs were black on the outside, but he had white streaks that ran down in the inside of his thighs, almost to his hocks. He had a white belly that looked oh so fuzzy, and a little patch of white just below his tail, right where his—

“Madam, we must hurry,” Alfredo called out from the stairs.

Blinking, Holly snapped herself from her trance, rolled off of the sofa, and went to go and get her coat, every muscle in her body tensing as the fires burned out of control within. As Holly hit the stairs, she wondered if she would need a firehose to put the fires out. The mental image of a hose spraying her caused her to gasp, then giggle, and then the fires burned even hotter as she realised what the mental image represented.

Author's Note:

Soon.

Comments

[Firebirdbtops]

All that, and it's not even spring.

[HoneyBadgerr]

I wonder if what we think will happen will happen, or if poor Holly (and us!) will left hanging...

[Kuroy]

So much continuity!!!

[RadicalDishonesty]

Today’s films are It Came from Gelding Grotto and Princess Celestia’s Plan Nine Versus the Gender Bender Fungus From Outer Space.

What... what kind of theater is that?

Those films seem like... almost smutty.

You're doing a brilliant job convincing me of Holly's desire for Alfredo, here.

Which is really nice, because "woman falls in love with her servant" is something that often seems a bit unconvincing. Although I haven't seen it as blatant of a servant as in this one.

[kudzuhaiku]

6913161

Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space. Real life movie. Awesome to look at and behold.

[RadicalDishonesty]

6913210
Oh. I know that's real. But... I've never seen it! But I know the guy who made it was utterly convinced it was amazing. Which makes it a special kind of film, for sure.

The part that I am sketchy about is the "Gender Bender" part. I can't tell if that's the kind of thing that would be there for shock value back then, but now that we see it years later it seems like the only reason someone'd put it in there to be unintentionally kinky/titillating, or if that was the original reason...

I'm not even sure what to call the "style" of it.

[kudzuhaiku]

6913217

Ed Wood was a gender bending transvestite. He was an awesome human being. His film really was brilliant... in a horrible way.

The title is a tribute to him. That's all.

[RadicalDishonesty]

6913232
Oh. I did not look far enough into his biography. I see.

[kudzuhaiku]

6913251

Ed wanted immortality. He wanted to be remembered forever. He wanted to go down in the history books as an important person for his era.

He did. But for all the wrong reasons. His film... is something else. So was he.

[RainCrasher]

Oh it seems Alfredo is taking some initiative. There is no way he dont know she is interested in him. To be honest im surprised that she aint jumped him and dragged him to the bed yet.

[Callos Sombra]

Hahah nice holly just might combust if shes not careful n.n. keep it up Kudz i really like this one.

[cogwheelbrain]

I have no comment on Ed Wood. But his Plan 9 was absolutely horrible! I think I'd rather watch Santa versus the Martians, it was so bad.

Anyway... I just figured we should get started on Alfredo's obit seeing that odds are he's going to be shagged to death by a stocky earth pony in very near future or simply die due to being in the vicinity when she simply explodes from being too pent up.

[Written Sound]

You vile fiend, playing with someone's hyperactive imaginations !!!
Now I can't get the thought of the last half of chapter 26 out of my mind !!
At least history is about to start and we're learning about the French and Indian war.

[Dastardly Hun]

Soooooo Holly just went into heat, or you don't have heat in your story, and our dear firemare is geniuely on edge?

[lolroflcopter]

6915205
...
I've seen Santa vs the martians how the hell could it be worse than that?

*reads summary of movie*

Holy halibut that sounds like a movie I need to see...

Pic related
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/788/277/f1b.jpg

[Dustchu]

Ahhhhhhhh, you are such a tease! Jeebus, you're killing me, and I am loving it dude, awesome job on this!
Hahahaha!

Can't wait to see the next chappie!

[McBehrer]

... was that a reference to Suicide by Alicorn? Is that canon in the Weed-Verse now?

[Boulder]

It would look like she was breathing from both ends if steam came from both her muzzle and her backside.

Steam coming out many ports.