Alright, I'm sorry to say this, but I am currently rewriting basically all of the chapters I have so far. The ones changed/edited will have that in the title, just for difference. If by the time your reading this there's already a "Substantial" amount of chapters redone, I wouldn't bother reading the others, as I plan to make the story a bit different.
Making it through the portal was just the beginning. Now I have to face a whole other culture, with different society's and rules. I don't know how I am going to do it.
Ever since we made it here from my world, its been like hell for me. I can't say exactly how, but it seems our worlds aren't so different after all. Dealing with a whole different country was hard enough, but now I have to be known for things I did back on earth? I may have been a hunter there, but its gonna take a whole lot of convincing to get back into it, for both me and Flutters.
She's never gonna let me do anything without her watching over me like a hawk. I wonder how that's going to be.
Different world, same problems. Hooray for being different.
This story is great so far, I'd recommend it for all HiE and/or fluttershy lovers, both of which I am a fan of so my recommendation might be a liiiiitle biased, but I think its great none of the less
So they already knew that they like each other? hhmmmm I guess that´s alright.
It could be really interessting, how Fluttershy is going to introduce him to her friends, and since they already love each other, that could mean more interessting situations, maybe Fluttershy is shy about that, or she suddenly seems actually more mature, or confident about it than her friends.
Long story short, I really like this idea, normally I would like to witness everything, but that they had an other adventure in his world already, and now their time in Equestria started, it seems to be interessting.
edit: Or they have a little cute moment, and maybe shock half of the main six with it, if they suddenly witness it. I mean in some storys, there are always one or two of them, who can´t understand Interspecies relationship, even if it is probably a common thing in their world.
Nice chapter, I think I even remember what happened so far.
This happens always way to fast, other characters always image the main char being into someone way to soon and without any real reason. Then again with Celestia it could just be her special version (special personality)
edit: I noticed that he was probably acting very lovingly towards Fluttershy, because i had read the first chapter again.
hah!
I need to read the first chapter again, I feel like I still forget something about this story.
I guess I try to suggest the story somewhere at least once, it is a shame since the first chapter is promissing much.
she really feels the need to intimidate him, as if Fluttershy could not be trusted enough, or Celestia would be very paranoid.
I`m not sure if he would be allowed to defend themself like they discussed earlier, or if he has to escape or die, if one Pony would even go that far.
However while I guess Fluttershy would be happy if he would learn to lover her appearance to, I really liked the chapter, their moments together and....I forgot the third thing (I'm a bit distracted)
However I hope Celestia is able to dissapear from one or two chapters, or at least from their side after her next visit.
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Don't worry too much about her. Trust me, she isn't the one he needs to worry about.
Part of me understands Luna, but often enough if the person is from another world or doesn't want this, I think that Luna isn't allowed in the dream. Right now not even their rules should aply on the Human here, I mean since he is a Human from another world and not even from Equestria.
I have read something about him killing his friends and only noticed him killing some sort of beast and nothing about Celestia. Even when I had read fast, I can't exactly say that this explained much for me right now, maybe I understand it later.
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The Luna thing is iffy, he dsoent kill his friends but had essentially blamed himself for his death. Lastly, in the authors note on the bottom I explained that the dream sequence took up a decent amount of my time and couldn't really get into another Celestia encounter as I had to go to sleep. It will be either the next chapter or the one after that that will explain what the dealio is with Celly.
And please don't think that I dislike your reviews, because I actually really do! It's nice for someone to be blunt sometimes and I think your doing right, just a little too fast at times.
7532861 I like it that you don't missunderstand me, and because of that I promise I won't think ill of your comments.
No really I understand it the right way, sometimes there is no other way to say things, but that doesn't have to mean someone want's to be mean. Can't say that my familly understands that through. (ignore the last part, I'm just a bit angry at them)
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It's all good man, I'm glad we can understand each other. I also hope that any family issues you may or may not have get solved fast.
If it are only a few days, a week or if it has to be two weeks at most, then I have nothing against it as long as there didn't happen anything important like him meeting with some of her friends or getting a bunch of new "best" friends.
I want to see him or her explaining their own relationship to the others if that didn't happened already, maybe making Twilight blush or something funny like that. Or Rarity crying over the fact Fluttershy found someone before her. I want to see all the funny or cute situations if they happen the first time.
hhhhhmmmmm......
Well I never get enough from adoption. Maybe he could find a little Changeling, or a Griffon, somethin rare even and adopt it. I mean he could meet him during an dangerous situation or finding him in the woods, then the child would not stop following him even if he should not want him/her at first. Then if they get back home either Fluttershy is accepting him or they beg him to care for the child a while, since it wouldn't accept someone else than him. (I hardly see something like that, I mean an adoption story where maybe the main char is a mean asshole (not him of course), but somehow get's into the situation of caring for a child, while they slowly get to know each other.
I don't remember in which situation they got, but since he has guns, maybe he could grow into some sort of special guard for Ponyville, I mean I had seen a story whey they had Arrows that could break through Magic, when they where used with a special fluid.
The only other thing I can think of right now is, that he maybe is good at befriending others that are mostly displayed as the bad people in the show, like Chrysalis, Trixie or someone I don't like. I like psychology too, but I get only so far with my ideas right now.
uuuhhh was this some kind of vision he had?, a look into the future of what might happens if he sould act in a certain way? I think I remember which story this is, but I might need an explanation about what happened here in order to understand it.
Eh, kinda. There will be an explanation later, trust me. Might not be in the next chater, but it will be explained eventually.
Nice, even if the last chapter was maybe needed, I'm more a fan of this stuff.
I'm not sure, but at one moment I thought that it looked a bit to much like he tried to hard to be funny with the cake scene. However comedy tag.
HHhhhmmm I just had to thought about how usually characters get "fixed" by other characters.
I hope whatever personality he had stays there and that they only help him with his problems, I don't want them to "harmonize" his personality if you know what I mean.
Like a cult that tries to change a person so it fits in with how they live.
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I gotcha. Trust me, he won't be "Harmonizing" any time soon. He's a bit jaded and kind of an asshole, so any attempts on that would go over well.
the first part was confusing for me, he....was a doctor and then it looked like he was the patient, then the doctor again, suddenly I read that he sees a pony in his office, then I understand that they live in Ponyville or somewhere else in Equestria?.....
aaaaahhhhhhhhhh now I know whats wrong, it was because I just looked at another chapter, then decited to read this one, but after I got distraced I combined both stories in my mind and well....
Thank you and I really like to read it everytime. Somehow so far it seems a little bit peacefull, not sure why.
Would it work if he would have taken one end of the meassuring tape and Rarity just the big part to move it around him for a rough idea on his uhhh.. meassurement?
Not sure if I need Lyra to be always sexually interessted in the hero, but I liked what happened, if I wouldn't be so tired then I could image myself, thinking that the moment with Fluttershy and him at the beginning was rather sad.
From what I remember....
I think something needs to happen, either them having a strange and sad/important bonding moment while the others accidently watch them in their own moment. (which makes it clear that they got some sort of different experiences that they don't have)
Something else I could image to happen would be along the lines of "ohhh snap I think I forgot it."
Not sure if they already had some kind of "wow" moment when they were introduced to each other or not, but I suddenly want something that makes him or both of them look special as a couple. Maybe he would simply do something really romantic in a way the ponies in this world would have never thought of, maybe he does something dangerous where they can't help but being in awe to what he did.
(and not being totally angry at him for doing something stupid and stuff like that, which happened already in another storie and it was not bad but eeehhh)
I think I would like him to meet Fluttershys parents, I kind of like the idea of others or them being scared or wary about him at first too, Fluttershy getting sad and if you manage to do it jus right, him doing his best to care for Fluttershy which will move her parents heart in the end.
If it didn't happened so far, I hope because of his anti magic body he isn't affected by a possible (I'm so awesome magic aura) Celestia, where they can't help but bow or kiss her feet because she is so lovely. I Just like it if the humans like her because they want to and not because she has that kind of aura.
hhhhhmmmm I don't know if there is something else for me to say....., maybe my usually question?, is there an adoption in the future?
edit: not sure if it's true, but I get the feeling I have a story that either has a similar picture or a similar storyplot with just a slightly but noticable difference, not a clone dont worry
, but I think I always have a problem to remember which one got the update when I first start reading.
This time however it was pretty easy for me.
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Ah, theres that review I was waiting for. I'm glad you liked it, very much so. I was afraid you might have seen his introduction in the town as being too nice or something, So i was really iffy about that. They could have done that for the measurement, but neither of them thought of that. They just did it the hard way.
Also, the town scene with Lyra was so much as sexual-ness as it was awe. She's never actually SEEN a human, only reading about them and finding them fascinating. So, when something you've kind of dedicated a part of your life to study shows up one day and talks to you, I feel like ya might be a little struck with awe. Recap: Lyras not sexually acttracted, she just really likes humans.
Bonding moment: Don't worry, they'll have plenty of those. If i'm being honest here, I like to think they do things 'off screen' (which really shows how lazy i am), but that wont interfere with any scenes I actually write.
"WoW" Scene: Theres bound to be more awe moments than romance ones, since 1: I aint good at writing gushy moments and 2: I like to think that an action scene would both help and hinder him, giving him some fans while also some hater. Make his life a little interesting, ya know? (More than now i mean)
Parents: Yup, there gonna meet. Might meet him when he messes up something real bad with Flutters too, but im not too sure about that yet. Regardless though, they will meet.
Celestia: As any TRUE American would know (I'm joking btw, pls don't kill me), Monarchs aernt the most respected thing. Well, to us AMERICANS that is. (Still joking) Seriouslt though, he likes Celestia as a person, and can respect her as a leader, but hes been on his own with a couple of others on Earth for years. Suddenly kissing ass would not fly by him. Respect, yes, but no ass-kissing.
Adoption: Now that I've been considering how things might go with certain species, I will say that adoption is definately on the table, and i am really considering it. I just don't know what it would be. I like changelings, I really do, but they aernt the weirdest things out there. Good canidate, but uncertain winner. Let me know if you have suggestions.
Also, for that story your doing: If its similar, go ahead! I don't own the idea of Humans coming to Equestria, and certainly not any apocolyptic Earth scenario. Not even the pairings i have are owned by me, so I'm all for it!
I just ask that its not too similar, ya know? Like, exactly the same things but one or two details switched out. I'm not worried though, I am have a lot of confidence in you that its gonna be reasonably different.
Last thing: I'm really glad you enjoyed it. If you want to talk sometime about, well, anything, im always open to conversation!
Last, last thing: I'm sorry if this writing is just atrocious, I'm using a steam in game window and there is no auot-correct. I do check stuff, but sometimes things get by me.
not sure which moments you think of right there, but maybe some hints would be good then.
oh god thank you, it is awful how often that happens in other stories, that they suddenly want to lick her hoof clean if that would mean they are on her good side.
Yes I like Changelings to and wouldn't mind it, but something is never done right with them or rarely.
Maybe a rarely mentioned race would be nice, even something that rarely appeared in stories like a female and naturaly gracefull deer? (I just like them at the moment)
HHHhhhhmm Diamond dogs....are rarely done right for me, so I don't know about them.....what do you think about Griffons?
They are more common in stories, but really fluffy. NOt sure which kind of universe you use, where they are mostly female or that somewhere exist a town full of stallions (the opposite of ponyville), because I kind of want the child to be a girl.
So.... Changeling, my favourite a deer, ooooohhh a Zebra happens rarely enough and it close enough to a pony.
I was thinking if a hybrid would look good, some sudden magic accident could cause their own baby to appear already one or two years old. (anthro pony baby), some little ultimate combination between those races. However that happened already too, but I think it looks nicer if it is a little kid they have to get to know better and that doesn't trust them right away or is awful clingy and affraid of everything else.
I have to think more about that or you just get some half assed answers (half assed, did I got that wording right?).
Long story short, right now it comes down to
1. a female deer
or maybe a centaur, like a secret daughter of Tirek.
(I saw a story about her even if she should be an OC, and if you include him at some point this adoption could be pretty interessting if the truth is revealed.)
2. a female or male Zebra
2/3. a more female, or a male rascal Changeling
4. a griffon?
5. Dragon, mintoaur, diamond dog
Oh no I'm not writing it, I think I have read something similar which made me confused about this one a moment.
>I think it's alright, but maybe I just don't know enough about it to really care.
Okay I think I come back to talk once in a while, but first I have to try and manage my day better.
I mean lately I do some sort of fixed programm every day and think I have to get this done, then that and hardly find some time for anything else. I try to get some time for a little talk soon enough.
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Little comment on the Celestia thing: The big reason he might stand up to her is a couple things. One being his confidence in himself, another is his understanding of het charachter, and now hes shown to have a mjor magic resistence, so whay can she really do? His body is strong enough now to deal with serious stuff.
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Other authors would use some kind of "I'm the Alicorn and because of that the only one with an ridiculous amount of magic that can actually affect him".
I want to say something else because I talked with someone about all the stories out there. There are so many stories, but I often feel like I see only 4 different personalites out of ...uuhhh... possible 30 personalities I maybe could think of for a main char.
Will Fluttershy be badass in this story?
>>Starlight Nova
That all depends on the situation. She can be, but as you know, she is shy.