• Published 8th Jul 2015
  • 516 Views, 20 Comments

Just me and the deer - BlueSkyHeadLeft010



Well great. One minute I'm playing a video game on my computer, and then next I'm suddenly standing next to my town's Sonic drive thru and i'm a freaking Pegasus. I want answers. And if I still had hands that'd be great.

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Entry 3: I Hate Deer

You know what stinks about living next door to the forest?

Deer.

The little strawberries, wait that didn't come out right. I'm using the voice recorder on my personal Ipad to document this. Hang on, I'm tweaking it...

Ok, testing, testing. Yup! Sounds good! Ok! Back to the beginning here.

The deer.

These little muffins-, ok what the hayfries is going on here? Argh! Doodles! What the breeze is wrong with my words?!

....
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Woops, blew the little machine's mind here. It doesn't like rapid speaking.

Anyways, I just found out I can literally not cuss anymore on this machine. (For some reason... Not without manually typing it in anyways, which takes too long to just hold this pen in my mouth). I am not happy.
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Ahhh.... I think I'm just going to skip over and assume you know I'm talking about the wildlife so I can move on.

I woke up this morning to a whole herd of deer outside munching on the overgrowth.

Some of the dogs were chasing them, barking and yipping as they went, but get this! The deer kinda formed this weird circle and made these rather loud deer squawking, which spooked the dogs.

It made Bluey bark too, but I had a hold of his collar in my teeth so he couldn't chase them.

I'm just going to say that for the record, I haybale-, erm very much dislike deer.

Let me tell you why.

Every year there are tourists that come up from the Appalachian hiking trails into our little town.

Every year the Floridians decide to spend summer up here at the same time.

When these two kinds of people mix and exchange stories, it's usually either about Florida or what's in the woods.

Ninety percent of the time it's about the woods.

Now, when the hikers talk about their runs ins with bears or seeing a dear or whatever, everyone simultaneously lets out the worst girlish d'aww in the universe.

Omg! You just met a bear on the trail?! That's super neat! I want to go see one up close like that! or, Aww those deer are just so adorable! I want to keep one as a pet!

EVERY. SINGLE. SUMMER.

You think deer are cute?

Ha!

Not when they're eating your shrubs or running past the road only to hit your car.

They are pests. And I despise their smug attitudes.

So yea, I very much dislike deer.

Well, here they were this morning out in the field being annoying by just existing, and ruining the property, so I decided it was high time to take my lifelong revenge.

I grabbed a shovel from the back in my teeth and hit them hard.

Jk. I got my flank kicked.

Call me insane or whatever, but I for once just wanted to go out and torment the deer! My Mother had never let me, and frankly the obsession had died down over the years, but this time.. I just couldn't resist the urge with no one around to stop me. Bluey was all for it too as he wagged his tail.

I had went outside and got a shovel from the back storage unit, but it wasn't much help when all I could do was hold it in my mouth. Up until now, I hadn't really considered how tough my pony teeth were. (Not to mention the flexibility of my neck.) With a little practice I might be able to wield a weapon again. Heh.

Anyways, I didn't have a strategy when I came up to the deer. I just sorta charged down the field with my shovel and bellowed at them. My wings flared up too, rising high like I was some kind of peacock, as I galloped.

Of course the deer weren't going to have any of this. I swear one of them looked like they were rolling their eyes at me! (Smug little-!)

So anyways, I ran at them and swung with my shovel, but really it was all just blind swings. With my weapon in my mouth my eyes could only follow whatever was in front of them. So mostly I just hit air.

But for some reason I managed to hit something that pushed back with tremendous force; and casting a glance to the side, I saw the buck of the herd had caught my shovel in his antlers and was pushing back.

I froze. Deer were not supposed to fight back. They were supposed to run.

The buck snorted at me as he tilted his head up and jerked the shovel from my grip, sending it flying. It dropped a few yards away, but frankly I was too terrified to act. He locked eyes with me and stared for what seemed like eternity; his gaze boring into mine and mine flicking back and forth anxiously.

He finally let out a noise like a sigh as he shook his head and then walked off. The other deer looked up and began to follow him as I just stared shocked at what had happened. Bluey came down to check on me soon after, as I just remained frozen for a good twenty minutes.

First people vanishing, now sapient deer?!?

My mind was blown. I laughed fearfully as I just shakily picked up my shovel and walked back to the house.

I couldn't take it. I needed some down time.

I spent the next two hours playing non-internet video games on my iPad. (Seeing as this is the only thing I can accurately use with a stylus in my mouth).

As you can see I've finally calmed down enough to write this.

There weren't anymore deer out today. I spent the rest of the time packing up my stuff into a few empty shopping carts I had strung along the full ones, and then snacked on some canned pumpkin.

Did I forget to mention pumpkin is my favorite fruit?

Yeah, I've loved it ever since I was young, but this pony body only makes me crave it more.

Can't complain though. If I can't have meat anymore, this is the next best thing. (Side note: when I find a suitable and stable place to live, I think I shall be working on different ways to prepare pumpkin than just straight out a can using a can opener and teeth.)

Oh and for the record, pony mouths are really flexible! I managed to get the can opener out from the drawer and use it with my teeth and a hoof to steady it. Who'd a thunk it?

It's a little harder to do it that way, but if it means I have more access to food then I don't particularly care.

Also, I went through my closet today and found one of my camping backpacks to put clothing and toiletry in. Back when I was human, the straps of backpacks used to chaff my shoulder blades real bad. I learned earlier on that they made padded straps ,so I replaced all my older packs with these.

Man I'm glad I did this. It felt like a soft cloud on me after I looped it through my forelegs. Making sure I found one that didn't squish my wings was tough, but I found one that was skinny and big enough to pack lots of things in.

It also had various holder straps for camping things; so I took my commemorative 1800's sword and stuck it in one of them. It hung awkwardly, but hey a sword's a sword.

...

What? A woman's not allowed to have weapons?

I'd like too see what you would do if a bear came charging at you and you had nothing to help!

Yeah, so maybe I'm being a dramatic but I'd always been the type to have some form of protection. Even when I was at college... Hehe...

Okay, moving on!

So I packed some 'tools', grabbed whatever clothing I thought I'd need (did I forget to mention I was wearing clothes? Yeah... It's not the best but it's better than being naked), and grabbed Blueys things before I hopped back on the tractor and started it up.

I was going to have Bluey ride with me, sine he doesn't like open ended seating, but to my surprise he got in one of the empty carts I had and wagged his tail! This dog's never done that!

Puzzlement aside, I started back down the hill to where I knew a neighbor of mine had stashed a ton of canned food.

I feel kinda silly really. They'd been so prepared for emergencies like this.

I'd always been the one to laugh and poke fun at them, but here I was headed to their house for more canned food!

I hoped that with whatever had caused humanity to vanish my neighbors wouldn't mind that I ate their food. I was desperate, and they'd probably have done the same thing. (If you guys are the ones reading this, I'm sorry. I did what I had to do. Just let me know and I'll pay it back I swear!)

I'm camping out inside their luxurious, ha not really it's just big, home for the night before I head out again.

I need to get to Atlanta. That's my long term goal.

It is not only the center for the CDC of America, but it's also the biggest city this side of the south. On the road it's a two hour drive from here. (I won't be going 65 down the road though). Tomorrow i'll probably pack up everything I can here and head back down to Lowes where the giant trucks are at. See if I can figure out how to drive one of them with hooves. If I can get that on the road I'll at least have food on wheels.

I can't be the only person out there. This event, whatever caused me to be a Pegasus, had to have left others behind.

Atlanta's my best shot at finding others like me, or just normal people!

I figured it'd probably take me a week to get down there if I take it slow. No need to rush. Lots of sights to see and places to check out for survivors.

I go down to Georgia about once every month. I know the layout rather well.

I just hope I'm not the only one left...


Also side note: Deer are not to be messed with. If you happen to see one leave it alone! (Who knows if they might be trying to take over the Earth...)

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Comments ( 7 )

The buck snorted at me as he tilted his head up and jerked the shovel from my grip, sending it flying. It dropped a few yards away, but frankly I was too terrified to act. He locked eyes with me and stared for what seemed like eternity; his gaze boring into mine and mine flicking back and forth anxiously.

He finally let out a noise like a sigh as he shook his head and then walked off. The other deer looked up and began to follow him as I just stared shocked at what had happened. Bluey came down to check on me soon after, as I just remained frozen for a good twenty minutes.

Mr. Deer is having none of your crap. That was a firm lecture from an adult to an unruly youth. Kids these days. When he was a fawn, he would get his rump kicked for that kind of behaviour. XD

Glad to see this is still being updated.

I've expanded my idea of Deer quite a bit since my last comment. One of the key points is that there are a lot of Deer in the US. Over 30 million alone. That's a very large number, especially if they are sapient, just lacking language (for the moment), and they'll probably outnumber ponies and their descendants for a long time, probably at least a thousand years, if not more.

Based on the title, I can't help but wonder if you are going to move the story in a direction of the MC becoming friends with them. I'd hate to see such early racism though, just cause they never talked before now. He has never flown before now either, but you don't see the Deer hatin'.

Yay, there was an update! :pinkiehappy: Finally... :twilightangry2: But glad it came.

That deer part though... "You're supposed to run! Not fight back!" Yeah, what a shocker that'd be...

Maybe they have been secretly plotting to overthrow humanity in one swift act over all these years? :twilightoops: I take it they won't like finding their brethren's skulls mounted on our walls...

We feel....so sorry for you, you sad little pony.

Sincerely, The Deer.


If the deer manages to comprehend written language, and left a note saying that, I would laugh.

Still, I do admire the fact that this is the first story so far to see deer advance into a sentient species in a fairly decent-length encounter. Bravo. I'll have to think about this in my story....

First people vanishing, now sapient deer?!?

Count your blessings, if it'd been a dumb animal, it wouldn't have stopped at a stern warning. :fluttershysad:

This story's cute. :yay: If you're bothered about the idea that a store's backup generator would be too big to transport, hardware stores always have portable generators.

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