• Published 7th Jul 2015
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Equestria's Hammiest Villain - Dirty Bit



Equestria's newest threat has never looked so adorable

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Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chuckles and 'Friends'

After a fun ride courtesy of Pinkie Pie, Chuckles found himself looking at a tall wooden building. Pinkie simply entered through the doors and the pig on her back noticed a group of ponies singing acapella in matching sweaters and bowties with two other ponies sitting in their own seats. He could've sworn he saw a purple scale or two, but he was so entranced by the music that he found himself closing his eyes and bobbing to it.

"Hey, everypony. Look who I ran into in town!" Pinkie said, disrupting the performance as she moved to her side to show Chuckles to everypony present. A purple scaly head peered out to look along with the ponies. The yellow pony Chuckles saw gasped loudly before flying towards him at a breakneck pace with a wide grin, stopping in front of him as she took in his appearance.

"Oh, aren't you the most adorable little piggy I've ever seen?" She cooed as she flew around the dark lord, inspecting him at every angle "I really like your cape." Chuckles started to feel uncomfortable the more she circled around him.

"Okay, as much as I love the attention, you're really starting to creep me out." Chuckles said as he kept his eyes on the pony. She instantly stopped and stared at the evil pig.

"Did-...Did that pig just talk?" The yellow pony asked.

"I know, right?" Pinkie beamed "His name is Chuckles the Silly Piggy, and he just moved in from Baltimare!"

If Chuckles didn't feel comfortable now, he lost all sense of security when everyone in the room flocked towards him into a crowd. He even noticed the small dragon from the picture in the castle.

"A talking pig? Now I've seen everything." The small dragon pointed at the dark lord "That's surprising."

"Indeed." The white mare said as she examined Chuckles with a keen eye before looking disgusted "Unless this is one of Discord's attempts at tomfoolery."

"I'm with Rarity." The purple mare added as she tilted her head at Chuckles "I mean, pigs don't talk in Equestria, and I never recall one actually living in Baltimare."

"Eeyup." The tall red stallion nodded in agreement.

"Well, pardon me for being born differently." Chuckles said while feigning hurt feelings as he crossed his arms and turned his head away. He sneakily opened an eye to glance at the guilty expression on the mare's face from the corner of his vision.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, Chuckles." The purple mare apologized politely before she smiled "It's actually nice of you to show up here in Ponyville. I don't know if you know me or not, but my name is Twilight Sparkle and I'm the princess of friendship, as well as this town." She directed a hoof to the dragon below her "And this is my assistant, Spike."

"Hey there." The dragon gave a friendly wave.

"My name is Rarity. It's a pleasure to meet you, darling." She directed a hoof towards the other ponies in sweaters "These are my bandmates Toe Tapper, Torch Song, and Big Macintosh." Rarity placed a hoof on her chest "And together, we're known as the Ponytones." She then looked over at Fluttershy with a sheepish grin "Oh, and of course Fluttershy's a part-time member of our little group."

"It's okay, Rarity. I'm not bothered about being fully included in the Ponytones." Fluttershy reassured before looking down at Chuckles "But I'm very glad to see a talking pig here in Ponyville." She landed next to Pinkie Pie to look at the dark lord at eye level "So what brings you here, Chuckles? Are you looking for a new home?"

"But of course. I like this town and its...color!" Chuckles said with a grin.

"You want to stay in Ponyville because of its color?" The dragon asked with his head tilted "Are you sure you got a better reason?"

"Spike, don't be rude." Twilight chided.

"Yeah, I mean, what's a better reason than color, huh? Name one!" Chuckles said.

"I can name plenty." Spike said as he stuck up his digits in one claw and pointed at each one with the other "Rarity, the ponies, friendship, the landmarks, the history, and Twilight!" Chuckles blinked at the dragon's response.

"Why am I last?" Twilight asked.

"Okay, so maybe they're good reasons as well, but color's where it's at these days!" He briefly looked at Pinkie before pointing a tiny hoof to her "Like pink!"

"Preach it, brotha!" The party pony said before sharing a hoof bump with Chuckles.

"Yes, well, bar your rather eccentric reason, it is nice of you to come to town." Rarity said in a friendly tone "We were just rehearsing for our performance here tomorrow and the whole town will be there." The dark lord perked up at the last sentence.

"Whoa whoa whoa, the whole town? As in, every pony in this place?" Chuckles asked incredulously.

"Why, yes! This is sure to be our biggest performance yet, since everypony's bound to show up tomorrow. Perhaps you would like to join as well? That is, if you enjoy some good acapella." Rarity offered.

"Oh, certainly! If every pony's gonna be there, it'll be easy for me!"

"Beg pardon?"

"I-I mean, I wouldn't miss this for the world!" Chuckles quickly recovered.

"Poor Chucky has a habit of doing that." Pinkie pointed out "He almost labeled himself as a dark lord when we met. How funny is that, huh?" She giggled.

"Yeah, me and my mouth sometimes." Chuckles laughed as well, then paused before looking at Pinkie Pie "Did you just call me Chucky?"

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat with you all, but I gotta show Chucky the rest of the town!" Pinkie said.

"Oh, can I join you?" Fluttershy asked as she looked at Chuckles, her eyes glistening "I'd like to know more about our new animal friend." The silly piggy stared back and slowly inched away from her while on Pinkie's back.

"Sure! The more the merrier!" Pinkie said as she waved goodbye to her friends and pronked out of Town Hall with Fluttershy following close behind.

"Seriously, did you call me Chucky back there? Not cool."

End of Chapter 3

Author's Note:

"...Am I the only one weirded out by those two other members? They didn't say anything at all! They just stared with those eyes..." *shudder*

This may just be my shortest chapter ever, and I'm happy. It's refreshing that I don't have to churn out something huge once in a while *Looks at War Criminals*

Well, enjoy the chapter. Peace! :twilightsmile: