• Published 7th Jul 2015
  • 1,372 Views, 34 Comments

Equestria's Hammiest Villain - Dirty Bit



Equestria's newest threat has never looked so adorable

  • ...
2
 34
 1,372

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A Reckoning is Coming

As nearly everyone in the world would know, Equestria was a fairly peaceful land inhabited by many pastel-colored ponies who lived together in harmony and friendship. But then one day, a sudden occurrence had brought about a most unpredictable being that had nearly changed the land in their image.

Not that such a thing would be possible, of course. Not everything can ever be accomplished alone.

The story begins in the town of Ponyville, where the ponyfolk were bustling in activity from running businesses to enjoying moments of leisure. Where some would find a day like this boring, it is what all ponies strive for, considering the many surprises the town is bound to come across, such as monster attacks or just wacky shenanigans of any sort.

One of the town's most defining features is the large castle that resembled a tree covered in crystals, which clashed horribly with the rest of Ponyville when seen from a distance. Inside of the castle were two residents, both of whom were taking advantage of how boring today was by relaxing in their own way. The owner of the castle was the benevolent princess of friendship, Twilight Sparkle, who sat on her throne and read one of her new books to herself. Sitting in a smaller throne next to her was her faithful assistant, Spike, who was feasting on a bowl of topaz and rubies.

Such enjoyment was short-lived, as Spike had just cleaned out his bowl in under two minutes, what with dragons and their affinity for crystals and gems. After checking for any remaining crumbs and gem dust, The baby dragon hopped up from his throne and waddled off with bowl in claw, seeking to refill his bowl.

Meanwhile, Twilight had just finished her book and sighed contently to herself before noticing Spike was treading off by himself with his bowl. She then felt her stomach growl before being compelled to get up from her own throne.

"Wait up, Spike. I'm getting kinda hungry myself." Twilight said with a chuckle before following her assistant. The two then managed to reach their large kitchen after they walked for a few minutes, then made for their refrigerator together to scan its contents.

"Awwww, I was sure I had more sapphires in here!" Spike complained after noticing how there weren't any more gems inside of the fridge, while Twilight simply levitated a chocolate pudding cup towards her with her magic before closing it. Spike decided to wash out his bowl while Twilight simply fished out a spoon for her snack "Think we should go out into town today? I never thought today would be so boring." Twilight ate a spoonful of pudding before looking at Spike.

"It sounds like a good idea. I remembered that Rarity talked about rehearsing with the Ponytones for their performance tomorrow. Maybe we can go watch them today?" She offered as she dug her spoon into her pudding cup and took another bite.

"There's a thought." Spike said eagerly "It's been a while since they've done a performance. Where are they singing at?"

"Town Hall again. I think this might be their biggest show yet." Twilight replied.

"Well, it sure beats staying cooped up in the castle all day. Nothing big ever happens here unless Pinkie Pie decides to throw a party or something." Spike said as he finished cleaning his bowl and putting it away.

"Then it's settled." Twilight said after finishing her pudding "Let's go see how they're doing." She said as she discarded her cup into the rubbish bin and set her spoon over by the sink. Twilight and Spike then made their way out of the castle and into town.

Town Hall was but a stone's throw away as the two reached their destination easily, looking inside to see Rarity, Torch Song, Toe Tapper, and Big Macintosh on a small stage practicing their notes while wearing their green sweaters. Much like their previous perfomances, they were singing their signature song 'Find the Music in You'. Fluttershy was seen bobbing her head to the rhythm in one of the seats with a content smile on her face as the song was drawing to a close.

"Hey, everypony!" Twilight greeted happily "I see the rehearsal's going well today."

"Why hello, Twilight. Spike." Rarity replied after noticing the two approaching the stage "I take it you're excited for tomorrow's performance, yes?"

"If it's as good as everypony says, why wouldn't we be?" Spike replied with a grin "It'd probably be better if Fluttershy was up there with you."

"Umm..." The mare in question spoke up "I thought everypony knew how I felt around large crowds." She said softly.

"We do, darling. But you have to give Spike credit." Rarity said pridefully "Your voice would make for an outstanding addition to our group, were you to perform with us full-time."

"Eeyup." Big Macintosh added with a nod.

"Well, despite Fluttershy not being a part of tomorrow's performance, I'm definitely looking forward to it." Twilight said warmly "Do you mind if we stay and wait for one more practice song?"

"Not at all." Rarity responded "We're going to take a small break for now, but we will practice once more for tomorrow."
_____

While Twilight and Spike stayed with their friends at Town Hall, something strange was happening back at their castle, deep within its halls.

The magic mirror Twilight had kept with her since her previous encounters from a parallel world rested with the machinery used to power it up manually. The strange happening that took place was that said machinery activated on its own, powering up the mirror as the glass lens began to ripple profusely like a disturbed puddle of water.

The rippling lasted for a couple of minutes before a thick black fog shot out of it, covering up the mirror, its machinery, and most of the chamber it resided in. As the fog lingered, a pair of glowing green eyes were seen.

"At last..." A booming deep voice bellowed "I've successfully crossed the universe and have now landed in my first realm waiting to be conquered. And after this land is mine to keep, I shall repeat the process for many worlds to come. Soon, all shall bow before the universe's new ruler..."

A silhouette was seen in the fog before stepping out to reveal a very strange sight. It appeared to be a small pig standing on its hindlegs and wearing a purple silk cloak. It was seen with green eyes and bushy eyebrows that would look menacing if not for the fact that the pig appeared to be adorable. It then raised his head to shout at the heavens.

"The Dark Lord Chuckles, the Silly Piggy!!" The pig shouted, sounding high-pitched in large contrast to his earlier voice. He looked at his surroundings while his voice echoed and the fog began to clear up. No response was heard save for the sound of a cricket chirping. Said cricket was seen on his left before it chose to hop off.

"Oh come on!" Chuckles complained "I went through the trouble of orchestrating my super evil speech for my soon-to-be-conquered people! I even threw in my evil fog for good measure! Where is everybody?" He asked to no one in particular as he looked around before grunting to himself "No matter. This new world shall be my first step into universal conquest." He said as he rubbed his forehooves together menacingly with an evil grin on his face "And then Udrogoth will soon suffer my wrath before my conquest is complete!" He then proceeded to laugh to himself, sounding as if he were babbling during his hysterics. Chuckles stopped briefly to get a better look at where he currently stood.

"Wow, I've only been here for about a minute and this place looks really nice." The dark lord looked behind himself to see the mirror and his reflection "Did I seriously come out of that?" Chuckles said to himself as he pointed at the mirror. He stared for a moment before winking and grinning "Who's that good looking pig?"

It was only after a small period of self-adoration that Chuckles exited the chamber and went further into the castle.

End of Chapter 1

Author's Note:

Did I disappoint you all? Huh? Did I? :trollestia:

If the answer's yes, then you realize just how evil this fic was meant to be: Short, with short chapters, featuring a short villain protagonist (Or antagonist, if you wanna be technical...)

Man, is it good to be bad? :pinkiecrazy:

Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this short story. If only I managed to churn it out sooner when I hit 666 followers.

Muhahahahahahaha~...