The Vampire
Vinyl Scratch - 10th of Solar Dusk ‘03 EoH - Evening
Everypony kinda shuffled into the foyer, and just stared at me quietly.
Right, so, absolute worst fear currently in progress. Dad figured out I couldn’t say no to the whole crew, and wanted me to visit, so now everypony knows I’m a blood sucking monster. Even worse is the stupid extra gloomy rain outside pouring down like salt in a wound.
At least dad kept the place as nice as I remembered it being. Black marble floor, inlaid rosewood, lots of silver nicknacks. Also that really attractive closet for guests’ coats and boots. I could totally just hop into the closet, close it with magic and just hide for like, forever. Yeah!
“Don’t mind me kids! I’m just going to loom here in the corner and watch.” Dad chuckled, taking a seat in a plush armchair next to the door.
You bastard, I’ll get you back for completely crushing- Bucking ‘ay, this was partly my fault. Mostly my fault. “Okay, um so… I probably, at some point. Shoulda-”
“Am I just your bucking bloodbag!?” Octavia screamed eyes burning with more rage than I had ever seen.
Well, almost. The hot sauce sammich prank was probably a bit worse.
“Those sunglasses! Luna’s mane, the sunglasses!” Lyra exclaimed, facehoofing. “I should have known!”
Ignoring everypony else’s exclamations, I focused all my attention on Octavia, “Hon, I actually, completely, irrevocably love you, and for the record, your blood is terrible. So I don’t really-”
“Oh! So I’m terrible, am I?!” Octavia demanded stomping a hoof and leaning in closer, rage building to critical mass.
Thanks a lot brain! You’re getting drowned in booze later! “It's not your fault Octy! B positive is just way too sweet tasting. It’s like drinking a lollipop!”
“I have half a mind to-” Octavia stopped mid sentence her eyes wrinkled slightly in a grin even though the rest of her face remained still.
My joke worked! Not well enough, but at least it seemed to calm her a bit. “Octavia… I… I seriously love you. I didn’t tell you because of exactly what’s happening right now!”
“And just what is happening right now?” She demanded, slamming a hoof into the floor.
“A stupid argument which is going to lead to us breaking up because I missed the sweet spot of telling you where you loved me enough to ignore me being a bucking monster, but before we were together so long that it hurts I didn’t tell you!” I whimpered, slumping to the floor, ears drooping as the depression kicked back in.
“Were not breaking up you idiot!” Octavia Shouted, “I’m just mad you didn’t tell me something so majorly important! I’m also pissed that every time I’ve cooked for you has been meaningless! You know I hate cooking!”
“I told you, you didn’t have to cook…” I mumbled scratching the back of my head with a hoof. “Also it’s not meaningless, pony food is good…”
“You are going to tell me exactly how you have hidden yourself from me this entire time. You are also going to tell me if you are a threat to anypony.” Octavia demanded, taking a deep breath. “Then I’ll forgive you.”
“You didn’t forgive me for months!” Meep objected, giving Octavia a hurt look.
“Because, unlike you, I sleep with her.” Octavia informed curtly, giving Meep a ‘no duh’ deadpan.
Maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright. I took a deep breath, “I’m not going to hurt anypony, like ever. Dad runs Hollow Shades as a refuge for monsters and outcasts, there are rules. I’ve always been a vampire, like, I was born like this.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t have the ‘bitey phaze’.” dad commented from his chair. “No but seriously we raised her to ask before biting. It mostly worked, mostly.”
“What he said.” I muttered. “Seriously, I kinda get sick to my stomach thinking of just well, taking food by force. It’s, it’s almost literally rape! It’s just wrong!”
“Alright, that sounded sincere.” Octavia concluded with a nod. “Except, you know what my blood tastes like, and I never said you could have any!”
“Wrong!” I said quickly. “On our third date you said I could bite if I wanted too, because you were into that sort of thing.”
“Ha! Irony!” Lyra giggled. Along with dad.
They shared and awkward look for a moment before their eyes wandered off in different directions.
Meanwhile, Octavia blushed beet red and bit her lip. “So um… every time…”
“Yeah.” I answered giving her a slow nod.
“But you said I taste bad…” Octy continued.
“You do, which is great! It means I never take enough to hurt you. Or turn you by accident.” I gave dad a pleading look. I needed him to step in for a minute.
Thank Faust he understood. “Ms. Melody, if my daughter liked your… flavor, you would be one of us by now whether you liked it or not. Which would be bad. Forcing the change in somepony tends to drive them insane. It took me years to recover, well years and a point blank shot from the Elements. Oh, and before you ask why you never noticed holes, our saliva seals them up. It’s not a healing potion, but it can stitch small punctures back together.”
“That would explain why she licks…” Octavia murmured still blushing. Suddenly her angry face came back, “Wait! You said I wasn’t just a meal!”
I facehooved hard enough for it to hurt, Octavia flinched at the cracking sound. “You’re not! I buy most of my meals at the hospital. I only really ever fed off you because it’s a territory thing.”
This was a super embarrassing argument to have in full view of my best friends. Literally the worst. Judging by Octavia’s slow embarrassed hoof shuffling, she was equally embarrassed.
“Lets go to the next thing.” She asked quickly.
“Yeah!” I cleared my throat, “So um, the hiding part…” I turned to look at Lyra, “Lyra, how do you kill a vampire?”
“Well, obviously sunlight doesn't do it, or you would be so dead.” she quipped.
“It just stops us using most of our powers.” Dad commented. “Though, I personally get sunburns under my fur, which sucks! Pun intended.”
Bon-bon and Cole groaned. Lyra grinned a little. Figures she would like dad’s jokes.
“So then... that leaves the method where you drive a stake through it’s heart while it’s asleep, stuff a brick in the mouth, cut off the head and bury it under the roots of an oak tree, burn the body, then come back and put silver into the brain so it wont regenerate if someone kicks the brick out of it's mouth.” Lyra finished quickly.
“Faust!” Dad exclaimed with a wince, “Keep that to yourself please. Thought I burned all the copies of that book...”
Lyra gasped, “I knew somepony had intentionally destroyed most copies of Von Haysings journal!”
“Yeah, no shit! It’s a ‘how to kill me’ instruction book.” Dad grumbled. “You steal a guy’s mare with your vampire powers one time and suddenly he’s mass producing instructions on how to kill you. Never, ever, piss off somepony from Germaney.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right. That’s the one that works. So, you find out I’m a vampire. All vampires are evil right? You have to totally kill me before I enslave the entire town or something. Right?”
Lyra squirmed in place for a few moments, “W-well… I um, thought all vampires were evil…”
“Right. That’s a yes. So I say something, or do something vampy and then bam! I’m dead. Or at the least really hurt bad, and things still hurt me! Just cause it wont kill me doesn't mean it’s painless.” I protested.
Dad frowned slightly. He always thought I talked about my lack of certain powers like it was a bad thing. “Sorry about that dear. You mother and I tried our best…”
“It’s fine dad, I’m trying to make a point.” I sighed.
“I… I can accept that.” Octavia decided, trotting forward and giving me an ‘I forgive you hug’.
“Yeah that makes perfect sense.” Bon-bon said decisively.
“As long as you’re not going to you know, kill everypony in our sleep…” Lyra said with a shaky grin.
Dad shook his head and stood up. “Ms. Heartstrings, if I or my daughter wanted to harm you, you would be harmed. We are peaceful creatures of the night. You are completely safe here and with her back in your home.”
“Sure, when she’s sober that makes sense but-”
“We can't get drunk.” I informed. “Well not without a ton of really hard stuff. Besides, I’m a fun drunk, also you taste bad too… In fact, the only pony here who tastes good is Cole… and maybe Meep. I haven't tried her real blood.” I finished thoughtfully.
Dad winced, “Ooo… Not a good idea! Changeling blood will give you the worst heartburn ever. It’s really acidic.”
“Wait, when did you try everyone?” Cole asked.
“That nightmare night I ‘dressed’ as a vampire.” I said with a little grin. Hey, they were in on that joke now!
Everypony facehooved. “Oh my Celestia… How the buck did we fail that spot check?” Lyra groaned.
“So is this how ponies react to terrible dark secrets if their species didn’t just attack a city?” Meep asked bitterly. Then her eyes glowed a bit brighter for an instant. “Oh! This is why you didn’t hold anything against me, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Same boat and stuff.” I said with a nervous tail swish.
“Our bedroom mirror. How come you reflect in it?” Octavia asked suddenly, confusion stamped on her face.
“That’s a myth. We have reflections. Also shadows.” I said pointing to my shadow.
“I’ll take this one Vinyl.” Dad offered before launching off into a quick breakdown. “Weaknesses: Steaks, yes, but then again, who wouldn’t that kill? Same goes for decapitation. Though as mentioned, regeneration is possible unless certain measures are taken.
“Right, so garlic, me no, Vinyl yes, but that’s an allergy. Silver, only halts regeneration, and only if you get it in the blood. Sun, no but as mentioned, prevents some power use. Can’t cross running water, yes, which is why I invented bridges. Have to be invited in to new places, yes. Have to count things, no. Die without a meal a week, yes.
“Powers: Ageless, yes. Regeneration, yes. Stronger, faster, better senses, yes. Regeneration, yes. Flight, me yes, Vinyl, only if she shifts.”
“Wait!” Meep exclaimed excitedly, “Can you actually turn into a bat? That would be awesome! We could do impressions together!”
I shook my head as she clapped her hooves together happily. “No. Dad can, all I can do is shift into ‘hunting mode’. I get wings, so I can fly. It’s not magically enhanced though, so it’s hard work.”
“What makes your father special?” Octavia asked carefully.
“Oh, I’m just Patient Zero is all. No biggie.” Dad chuckled, ignoring Lyra’s shocked sputtering, “Whole thing was an accident in mage college. The curse dilutes a bit with each generation so nopony’s had my abilities in full… Those are all of Vinyl's powers by the way. There are a few more downsides, but I’m certain you have other questions.”
Cole raised a hoof, “Totally want to know how the buck we didn’t notice anything!”
“Also what’s ‘hunting mode’ look like?” Octavia asked curiously.
A bit too curiously. That same kind of curiously she used when asking what kind of toys I liked. Awww yeah! Love is cool with it! Crisis over!
“Okay, so first, pale white fur, black mane and tail. That’s one of the classics right?” I asked, noting everypony nod, “So I dye my mane blue. Boom, less vampire, more odd color palate.”
“Y-you mean you choose that mane color?” Bon-bon asked cautiously.
“Yes.” I said giving her a stiff look. “I like it.”
“I think it looks good.” Meep quipped.
“Thank you. So, sunglasses. I really do have asfedia, but they also totally help with the always on night vision. They also make my eyes look purple instead of red cuz the light shining through them is colored by the lenses.” I looked away from the lamps and slipped my glasses off. “See?”
“Huh… I thought they were more red in the mornings from your drinking.” Octavia commented. “What about the fangs?”
“Retractable.” I said as I slipped my glasses back on. I opened my mouth wide and flexed my fangs, the canines sliding from their recesses to their full length and visibly sharpening. “See?”
Lyra’s head tilted into her intrigued mode. “You know, those look awfully like batpony fangs. Just a bit thicker.”
“There’s a good reason for that.” Dad said in his ‘embrace Vi time’ tone. “Batponies are just pegasi with a tiny bit of my blood in them. I sort of started that particular pegasi subspecies in my younger years. I was really into dark furred pegasi back then.”
Everypony turned to look at dad the instant he finished speaking.
“Seriously?” Cole asked incredulously.
“How?” Bon-bon demanded.
“Yep!” He shook his head, “As for how, well four hundred years of chasing one particular type of wings every night… Did you know it only takes five hundred ponies to form a stable genetic population? I didn’t. Thank goodness I’m a Count! That child support bill was absolutely unfair.” he flashed them all a shit eating grin.
Lyra shook her head incredulously. “You’re joking.”
“You can think that if you want to.” Dad quipped. “Seriously though, 23 year old stallion suddenly gains a hypnotic gaze. You do the math. Then remember I was evil back then.”
“Okay, I’m done processing this.” Octavia informed suddenly. “My marefriend is and has always been a vampire, and didn’t tell anypony because that’s a horrible idea. Her family are also vampires, which is why she’s never let me meet them because that would out her as a blood drinking creature of the night. Not only that, but her father is apparently the first vampire, and so impossibly old that he takes credit for batponies who have been around for at least four thousand years… Oh… Um Vi, how old are you?” she asked looking up in sudden shocked realization.
“I didn’t lie about that, I’m thirty one.” I answered honestly.
“We can’t exactly… just have children with each other.” Dad explained. “I turned my bride three thousand years ago and we spent the entire time until three decades ago working on having a proper child. I don’t truly count batponies as my children because well, I was quite insane at the time. Anyways, Vinyl's our little miracle, literally. It took more magic than you would believe to animate her after birth.”
“I’m super grateful you didn’t give up like you did the others.” I said. I really didn’t say it enough.
“Your mother had a feeling it would work with you. Faust knows why but the spell worked on the fourth time.” Dad shook his head and got out of the chair. “Well, this has been a fun chat, but I have a nice dinner planned. It will be nice to learn about all of you now that you are caught up on our family’s… oddity. Oh… Vinyl, take our guests to the dining hall, I’ll need to get the cooks to prepare some proper food for them. I was not expecting you all to be mortals. Excuse me.”
Dad trotted off, quickly vanishing through a door to the east wing. I kicked one hoof nervously against the floor. I had one thing I needed to ask just to be sure. “So um… we are all still friends. Right?”
“Duh.” Lyra said with an eye roll. “I mean, we’ve sorta had practice at this. Meep being Meep and stuff.”
Bonbon nodded in agreement. “Plus, it’s pretty clear you are not well, evil, or a mindless monster. You’re still you.”
“Also a crap ton of vampires didn’t just attack Ponyville. So there’s no racial stigma. No, I’m not letting this go yet!” Meep grumbled glaring daggers at everypony.
Colegate giggled and shook her head. “Hey, I’m dating one kind of vampire, so obviously you guys don't bother me.”
I looked to Octavia, just needing confirmation. Because with her mood swings well…
She gave me a smile. “Well, I did enjoy reading The Vampire Diaries. Though I am curious, what does that hunting shape you mentioned look like?”
“Slightly longer spikey mane and tail, ears get fluffy, bigger, and bat shaped, I grow bat wings, fangs extend, and my eyes glow a bit.” I answered.
“Can I see it?” she asked hopefully.
“Sure later. Mom will yell at me for going to dinner like that.” I sighed.
“Wait, so it just stops after a certain amount of time?” Meep asked horrified. “What if you’re flying?!”
“No like, I can't turn it off until at least an hour’s passed. I dont know why.” I shook my head and started to walk to the hallway which would take us to the dining hall. “Come on. it’s this way. The place is freaking huge so don’t get lost.”
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Dad jokes are an acquired taste, but for the most part they usually suck.
That was received quite well, overall. Poor Vinyl, so embarrassed and so worried over her secret. Although....with her being ageless....one wonders how she intends to deal with that, though that's a question for the distant future.
Is it me, or does Vinyl's father remind any others of Drac from Hotel Transylvania? I mean, I swear I spotted a comment from there somewhere. Also, loved the Hellsing abridged fear turkey bit at the beginning when describing everything.
Carvnivores, omnivores, etc.
Rage sure makes for some inconsistent reactions. Don't be mad about Vinyl both drinking your blood and thinking it is terrible at the same time, Octavia.
So much shouting that it was Shouting.
Hahaha!
Oh god, Dad Jokes. Vampire Dad Jokes, even.
Interesting.
That was some delightfully awkward fun.
Abraham van Helsing was Dutch, not German. So Von Haysing would be, like, Horse Dutch. I can't think of a good pun.
Um...so
images.wisegeek.com/crisscrossed-steak.jpg
and
thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/aspen-stake-white-background-35043975.jpg
are two different things.
7044809
Well both will kill you, one is just faster at doing it.
6971797 He would be from Neighderland!
How fun. Vi's father is a massive amount of fun. I don't think this relationship him, and I, have built will work out well. It has to stay platonic. XD
I can't wait to get to the next chapter. April is going to be jam-packed with reading and writing, more-so than other months. Guess I'll just have to stake it out; while eating this steak... I'm sorry... T.T
8061967
Her father makes me think Hotel Transylvania
Well Vi's father is making an appearance in my D&D game. No way can I let a character this good slide.
8932971
he'll be my favorite character, hell, I'll try to make him my second.
I'm exc for that
Weaknesses: Steaks, yes, but then again, who wouldn’t that kill? Same goes for decapitation.
Hotel Transylvania reference. I love that line in the movie
Be glad you aren't human. We get a crap shoot, and could fall across a vampire spectrum from gorgeous hunk in a penthouse, to a nosferatu in the sewers, to someone who converses with street lamps.
9711178
Incorrect. It's simply that most humans in the modern world do not work out and thus do not develop along the path of badass. There are well documented instances of humans taking up to 25 bullets and continuing to fight, receiving medical attention, and going back to their units to keep fighting later on. Humans have the BEST endurance of all animals out there period, our ancestors hunted by keeping prey terrified and running till their hearts went pop, or they dropped from a stam-out.
Humans also have the most intelligence of all known organisms. Be misanthropic all you want about "oh but that just pollution tho!" we walked on the fucking moon! Cuz we felt like one upping the Ruskies. That's it. The Russians were bothering us by being better at putting things into space, so we fucking walked on the moon, then parked multiple cars on it. Lets see another real species do that. Here's another amazing thing humans do, we preserve knowledge in such intricate and marvelous ways that the words of someone dead for up to 8000 years can be simply read by you and me. We can commune with our dead and learn from their experiences. Cool, huh?
Humans are capable of empathy on a larger level than any other species known as well. We are the only species known to restrict entry into areas for our entire species just because something else lives there and we want it to be unharmed. What's more, we literally will blow through thousand upon thousands upon millions of hours worth of work and effort to ensure species we like that SHOULD go extinct DON'T (see pandas. Holy crap, let them die and spend the money and effort on other more important conservation efforts!)
What else is unique to human ability? Humm, Impressive durability, our stamina, our intellect, our empathy... Oh yes, the most crucial thing of all. We have this thing we do where we can invent an entire reality and share it with others to entertain, educate, both, or even just pass the time. We can conceive of possibilities beyond the scope of reality. We can in essence, be the gods of other universes, and use those places we created for good or ill. In other words, humans can tell stories.
Steaks are my weakness. Stakes are yours, Daddypookins!
Somehow I doubt even a vampony is interested in a nice, rare, perfectly seasoned ribeye.
So that prank would only have sort of worked. Darn. Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something, Vi-vi.