The Farmer and the Magician

by RoyalBardofCanterlot

Chapter 6

Her hooves pounded upon the bare earth, her legs were burning, her lungs begging for air. Beside her, her rainbow-maned eternal rival. For what felt like an eternity, but was probably only an hour, they had been racing over the hills. The hills around Sweet Apple Acres ranged from gentle slopes to high, nearly mountain-like obstacles. Dash's wings were bound so that she couldn't use her natural advantage. To handicap herself and make things even more fair Applejack had filled her saddlebags with rocks. If she was going to win it would be on her own merits. The sweat stung her eyes, but she kept on racing. They chased each other down the hill, then up another one. Their goal was the lake. It was several hundred feet away. They came down the last hill and barreled into the apple orchard. Dash was so focused on her goal she didn't even see the rock which she tripped over.

"Dash!" Applejack shouted. The pegasus was sent sprawling into the water. Applejack ran to check up on her. Dash dragged herself from the lake, her hair dripping and wet. She sputtered and spat out some water. Then she gave Applejack a cheeky grin.

"I won!"

"Oh of all the-you danged fool pegasus! You oughta watch where you're goin'!" She extended her hoof. Dash took it and Applejack lifted her from the water.

"What are you my mom?"

"You could've been hurt. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Could you untie me?"

"Sure." She walked around and freed the pegasus' wings. Dash flared them outward and gave them a few shakes.

"So, you wanna go get a hayburger in town?" Applejack asked.

"Sounds good. I am STARVING after beating you at everything."

"I won the rock toss, the game of horse shoes and the javelin throw. Where'd you even find javelins?" Applejack asked.

"I bought them when we were in the Crystal Empire." Dash answered. She flew into the air. "It's too bad you don't have wings. Maybe we could get Twilight to cast that spell she cast on Rarity on you. We could have a flight race!"

"This pony likes her hooves on the ground. Besides, you'd have the advantage." She shook off her saddlebags then poured the rocks out of them. They started walking towards town. It was afternoon and the market was in full swing. Dash and Applejack made their way past the pushy vendors to the Hay King. Applejack hadn't been too interested in the idea of a fast food joint, but Dash had convinced her. Now she couldn't get enough. The friendly rivals sat down in the chairs.

"Oh, hi girls!" A cheerful voice announced. Twilight was sitting at a table near their own.

"Oh, howdy Twilight!"

"Hey Twilight! Come and join us." Dash said.

Twilight took her burger and coke in her magic and sat down.

"So, what have you been up to?" Dash asked.

"Oh, I've been studying up on thaumaturgy."

"What?"

"Thaumaturgy. The use of pure energy in magic. It's considered the most difficult kind of magic because it doesn't use any magical mediators."

"Uh-huh. So, did you finish the last Daring Do book? It was AWESOME!"

"It was." Twilight agreed. "I'm so glad Yearling brought back Inky Night."

"I loved the scene where they fought all those ninjas."

"That was a good part."

The waiter came up and Applejack and Dash ordered.

"So, I'm thinking of one more contest to top off the day." Applejack suggested.

"What?" Dash asked.

"Drinking contest. You, me, tonight at the Randy Stallion."

"Oh, yeah." Dash grinned. "My favorite bar."

Twilight blinked in confusion. "A drinking contest? What's that?"

They stared at Twilight.

"You seriously don't know what a drinking contest is?" Dash asked.

"I was really sheltered and I was only of legal age last year. So, I can gather that it's a contest involving alcohol. What are the rules?"

"Whoever passes out last wins." Applejack explained. "Come to think of it I ain't never seen you at the Randy Stallion."

"Oh, no. I prefer drinking alone. Though it does get the library messy sometimes. I get wild when I drink and sometimes just pass out on the floor with books scattered everywhere."

Dash raised an eyebrow. "Wait one minute. So that time you invited us over to clean up your library after a 'crazy night of studying...?""

Twilight blushed. "I WAS studying and I thought vodka would relax me, but I'd never shot vodka before and things got a bit wild. No more vodka for me. Royal Edict."

Dash frowned. "But drinking's more fun with friends."

Twilight thought about this. "But I'm afraid of embarrassing myself."

"Look, Sugarcube, the whole point of the experience is having fun with friends who have all their barriers down. You might embarrass yourself, but you'll have friends to laugh about it with."

"Huh. It does sound like it could be nice. And I've never had any friendship lessons about drinking with friends. I bet Celestia would be interested in a letter like that."

"Er, ain't the kind of thing you write home about."

"But it sounds fascinating."

"Trust me on this one. Still, you oughta come with us tonight." Applejack said.

"I think I will."

...
They met that night at the Randy Stallion, a dive at the edge of Ponyville. Twilight wrinkled her nose at the garbage strewn around it, the slightly-broken red-tinted windows and the thumping beat of the hard rock music. A group of brawny stallions and rough-looking mares were hanging around outside.

"It's part of the atmosphere, Egghead." Dash said, giving her a pat on the back. "It's really a nice place."

"If you say so." Twilight said. Apprehensive, but trusting her friends she followed them inside. Red light filtered through the window onto barstools and a pool table. Pinkie Pie was sitting at a table. She waved enthusiastically at Dash.

"Hi, Dashie! Hi Applejack! Hi Twilight!" She bounced over to them. "Ooh, I've never seen you here, Twilight!"

"I decided to come."

"Oooh. Try their candytini! I made it for them, it's REALLY good."

"Does it have vodka?"

"Coconut, gin, vermouth, rum, sugar, sugar, but no vodka!"

"I'll give it a try."

Pinkie went to greet another friend she saw. The trio went to the bar. Applejack and Twilight ordered two mugs. Twilight ordered the candytini. She sipped it and smacked her lips.

"Hey, this is good."

Applejack and Dash chugged their beer and ordered two more mugs.

Twilight continued sipping her drink. A happy feeling came over here. She drank some more, finished it and ordered a second. By the second glass she felt a general benevolence for all equinity. Applejack and Dash were on their third mug and neither were about to give in. Twilight's head was starting to swim and her hoof started tapping to the pounding music. She suddenly got the idea in her head that everypony would love to see her dance. She leaped from her seat and began to shake her rear and swing her limbs to the music. All of the stallions and some of the mares stared at her.

"Woo! Go Twilight!" Pinkie cried. She hopped over and began shaking her own pony posterior. They bumped their butts together a few times, then Twilight decided to take Pinkie in her hooves. They moved together, their bodies moved by the beat of the drum. They moved so close that their fur brushed together.

"Hey, that is MY filly!" Dash growled. She laid down her fourth mug, stood and swayed on her hooves. "Pinkie, I wantsta dansh with ya sweetflanks! Be my sweetflank!"

Pinkie giggled and let go of Twilight who continued to dance. Dash possessively took hold of Pinkie.

"Oh, Dashie!" Pinkie cooed, holding onto the pegasus.

The song turned to a slow dance. Dash and Pinkie pressed their lips together.

"Hey! What happened to our durned contesht?" Applejack slurred. She shook her head and nursed her sixth mug. "I won, by the way!"

"Oh, heccksh ya did!" Rainbow Dash said. "Sorry, Pinksh, I gotta put Apple Butt in her place."

"Come back soon. I'm gonna be dancin' all night!" Pinkie shouted. She continued to boogey on the dance floor. Twilight leapt back to the bar and ordered a beer. Dash ordered her fifth mug. Applejack ordered her sixth. They sipped the beer slowly. Both were getting tired, but neither was willing to stop. Twilight laid her head on the table.

"You and Pinkie are sooo cute together, Dashie." Twilight said.

"Don't call me, Dashie. Only Pinks calls me that."

"Dashie." Applejack teased.

"I wish I had somepony to love me!" Twilight whined. "Nopony loves me!"

She bursts into tears. Applejack and Dash patted her back.

"Oh, it ain't so bad, Sugarcube. You just gotta wait to find the right stallion. Or mare. I've been tryin' to get Caramel. That colt's a slippery one. He's fun to hang out with, but the word commitment makes him run in the opposite direction."

"There he is, over there." Dash pointed out, while continuing to stroke the distraught Twilight's mane. Sure enough, the brown stallion was sitting at a table nursing a mug of cider. "Go tell him ya love him!"

"I will. I am!" Applejack stood up and tried to march over to Caramel. Really, she sort of stumbled over.

"I'm-I'm gonna tell'er." Twilight said.

"Tell who what?" Dash asked.

"The princess! I gotta tell'er I love'er! I'm gonna do it!" She levitated a scroll and a feather from her saddlebag.

That was when the sound of retching alerted both of them. Applejack had poured the contents of her stomach at Caramel's hooves. Twilight and Dash rushed over to her and guided her to the bathroom. Caramel just gaped, open-mouthed.

"I'm fine now, really. I jusht got nervous, y'know." Applejack said when they got to the bathroom. "Oh, Celestia, how am I ever gonna face Caramel again?"

Twilight hugged her, then Dash wrapped her in her wings.

"Hey, you're an amazing mare." Dash said.

"Yeah, if a stallion's gonna judge ya for vomiting on them then...well...then that's there problem!" Twilight finished.

"You two are good friends! The besht!" Applejack declared. "Let's get back out there!"

They trotted from the bathroom. Pinkie bounded up to them.

"Hey, Dashie! There you are! They're playing our song!"

She dragged the pegasus back onto the dance floor.

Twilight and Applejack sat back down. Applejack patted Twilight's back.

"In all the years I've known her we ain't never finished a drinking contest. So, ya enjoyin' yerself?"

"Yeah, I'm glad I came."

"I am too. Glad you came. Coulda done without throwing up on Caramel."

"At least you tried to tell him. Unlike me. I need to tell her, but what if...what if she rejects me?"

"What if she doesn't?"

That's when Caramel walked up to her.

"You alright, Applejack?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Fine. Caramel I-"

"Would you like to dance with me?" Caramel held out a hoof.

Applejack smiled. "Sure would. Twi, think about what I said."

Twilight stood up. I'm gonna do it. Gonna tell her. In person.

Then she vanished in a flash of light.

...
Celestia was in her chambers when her student appeared in a flash of light.

"Twilight?"

Twilight pressed her lips to hers. Celestia didn't know what was going on, but kissed back.

...
It was mid-morning in Ponyville. A rainbow-maned pegasus flew out the window of the bakery. A sheepish looking apple farmer came out of Caramel's window, looked around and walked away. A royal chariot flew into town and a purple unicorn stepped out. The three met in the middle of the market and grinned at each other.

"Best night ever?" Dash asked.

"Best night ever." The other two agreed, hoof-bumping Dash.

Comments

[Satto Kez]

Huh... Twilestia... Nowhere near my favorite ship, but I'll live with it for the sake of this story. I have read this much of it and liked it, I might as well continue with it.
Keep up the good work!