• Member Since 12th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen March 29th

ForgottenBliss


My writing may be sub-par, but hey, it's better than like, nothing. Profile picture here: http://underpable.deviantart.com/art/Selene-489020842

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This is my first time trying to do a one chapter story, so forgive me if it sucks. Loosely based off of the song "September" by TheLivingTombstone, this story highlights a quick ending to the world.

Edit: Well, now I guess it's my second and I have no excuses eh? Anyway, if it looks or reads weird, that's because I'm tired now finishing it and I was tired starting it.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

The story wasn't that bad, it felt a little rushed at the end tho. Try to expand it a little and use spacing more often.

And please, fix your description. The reader wants to know what the story is about, not if this is your first or second one-shot or whatever. The only description you provided to give us just a hint of the story was that it was based on a song September, and not all people know it. Describe what the story is about, and then at the very end mention it was inspired by the song September.

7136532
Concerning the rushed nature of this; I wrote it in about ten minutes but it wasn't long enough, causing me to have to bumble along writing until I hit the word limit. The description was wrote at 2:30 AM and I couldn't think of anything better to put.

7136680 still, you should've waited for next day to settle down and read the story, write the description and check if everything is in place.

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