- Member Since 22nd Sep, 2013
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
Hopeful Soul
I'm just some 29-year old dude from Canada hoping to become a screenplay writer one day. That's all.
Hopeful Soul
Joined 22nd Sep, 2013 ·
Offline
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Wicked opening
Well,
Lovely
, you should make a sequel
Nice!
6166136 There's one more chapter left
6166560 Thanks
6165858 Liked it?
6165816 Thank you
6169113 yeah
6169293 Thanks
Very hot chapter, my friend!
6170512 Thank you
Nice.
This was excellently done.
Good read, I really enjoyed it. Thumbs upperino pepperino.
Flash Sentry's reaction was priceless.
6217861 Thanks, that's what I was going for
“Well, it’s too late now…” I don't know why I laughed really hard at this. I liked reading this, but I have a few concerns. Though I like the clear continuity between chapters, I don't feel Sunset's apologetic feelings should've made an appearance in chapter one - not when it fits the beginning here so much better. Sunset Shimmer appears to not have any plan ("a thought popped into Sunset’s mind") but later on she says she's given it a lot of thought ("I’ve been preparing for this ever since you first defeated me"). Also, if I didn't know any better, I'd think Sunset was more interested in being dominated than punished for her sins. I'm surprised she didn't make Twilight finger her anus either. And she said she was going to tell Twi when she's about to orgasm, but then doesn't.
Aside from that, both chapters read smoothly and I feel you properly got to where you wanted it to be. There was a good amount of moral wrongness and arousal that made it very interesting from the perspective of both parties.
6170514 Sunset is like a territorial animal. In the animal kingdom, animals will hurt and kill others that try to invade their turf, and Twilight payed the price.
Awesome story!!!
that was.. SEXY
(Background music for battle cry)
Just one more time before I go I'll let you know,
That all time I've been afraid but never let it show oh whoa oh, nobody going to save you now it's do or die.
Stars are only visible in darkness, fear is ever changing and evolving and I - I won't you die!
No body's going to save you now in the world a king is crowned it's do or die, nobody's going to save you now the only sound is the battle cry, the battle cry, the battle cry.
Nobody's going to save you now it's do or die.
Let's not forget about puppy kicking.
That cover, man...
Consider at least placing this one derpibooru.org/1023387
7852342 Why may I ask?
Just curious
7852386 Well... reading story and imagining characters interacting from this... drawing
7852433 But the one who made this one worked really hard
7852520 Uh... ok dude, whatever. Great stuff you have here, looking forward to read every story
7852546 Thanks