Discordian Episodes

by CelestialScribe

Discord's Challenge II

"A chaos enthusiast, collector of snow-globes, founder of the church of Discology, but most importantly, a gentlequues," Discord finished, sipping tea from the extravagant chalice. "But that's enough about me, I'm sure you are all rather new to each other."

Flim struggled in his chains for a moment, before Discord jammed the red and white-maned stallion's cup in his mouth. The victims of Discord were all sat around a large, oval table in the middle of a dead flat of grass that stretched out into hills and barren countryside for miles. The UFO was gone, nothing remained around them but nature.

In the distance, far away, a desert could be seen. Somehow, its heat affected them enough to make the steel chains restricting them warm up. Even if they could reach out for the individual cups of tea assigned to them, they wouldn't: it would be the final nail in the coffin for heatstroke.

"Well, actually-" Spitfire started before a mighty paw demolished her chunk of the mahogany table.

A look of fear forever plastered on her face, she traced her eyes up the black-coated arm and saw Cerberus, the three-headed demon-dog drafted from the gates of Tartarus to oversee a tea party. Of course. His face looked down at hers, and a drip of saliva fell into her tea cup. She tried to ask how he was suddenly there, or at least apologise to the creature, but the words formed a whispered squeak.

Discord looked at Cerberus angrily, and instantaneously brought forth a flimsy looking brown stick. His arm stretched over to the large mutt's three heads and tapped each one condescendingly with the stick.

"Bad dog, bad dog, bad dog," He repeated with each gentle encouragement to the heads. "Remember that this table costs more than your treats." The dogs whimpered and scuttled along sadly behind Discord's golden throne. "I know how much you like them, but you'd be surprised at how unwilling ponies can be to giving up their arms. It's like they don't grow back or something."

Cerberus stood over Discord, observing each of the ponies' arms intently and drooling into the chalice. Discord drank it happily. The silence between them only made it more awkward, the faint creaking of the decrepit, wooden chairs they were chained to was only matched by content sighs from the draconequues.

"My, my, aren't we a strange bunch?" He said, scanning his flock. "We've got the fillies, adorably innocent and ever-so uncorrupted." Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo didn't have much of a response, all tied to a single chair. They were either staring off into space or rocking on the chair together.

"The con-stallions, already quite associated with bringing chaos so long as they make a bit." Flim and Flam looked proudly at each other, and would gladly give the other a high-one were their arms free and Flam not so insane.

"The celebrities, I must say I'm not sure how you'll perform, you work well under pressure though." The eyes were mostly on Spitfire as patches of her mane grew back, Soarin tried headbutting his futuristic goggles on the table in hopes of some escape but only ended up hurting himself.

"And you..." He looked at Derpy, reached a paw over confidently and poked her nose. "A mail-mare? Ah, chaos takes all kinds."

"How did you know?" Derpy asked curiously and genuinely amazed.

"All knowledge lies in the nose. I don't know what that nonsense is about the 'eyes being the gateway to the soul', but I assure you it is certainly the nose. What else could be so unique as to form fantastic little packages of mucus to play with?!" He said jovially, and the inner child that was Discord himself shined, laughing.

On seeing that nopony was quite as entertained as he was, Discord stopped laughing abruptly, cleared his throat, and lay back in the reclining throne.

"Fine, I suppose you all want your 'freedom', or something like that?" He mocked. "Now if Pinkie Pie was here..." He thought to himself. "Speaking of which... b-r-b, as the hip kids say," He disappeared in a plume of smoke, scattering a pink, thin fog across the table.

The table was left, some coughing, others shaking their chains and struggling, but all very much confused. Before anypony could speak, Discord reappeared, lying across the arms of his throne, changed. Glowing, waves of visible green energy poured from his curved, yellow body.

"The kids say that, right? 'Become' a 'radioactive' 'banana'?" He asked, the length of his body zipping open to form a smile.

At least Derpy giggled.

“But seriously,” He managed to utter before poofing away.

The ponies, tired, dazed and in need of a chemical shower all seemed to sigh in unison. Cerberus didn’t take much notice, scratching his left-most head while simultaneously hitting the other two with a back paw.

“Any ideas?” Spitfire asked nopony in particular.

“For what?” Derpy wondered.

“Escaping...?”

“Why? He’s fun!”

Spitfire couldn’t debate that. While everything ‘fun’ had been at their expense, it was pretty entertaining. Soarin began smashing his head on the table, desperately hoping the goggles might have a jetpack-slash-laser-cutting function.

“Prisoner of Chaos escape updates found for Chaotix Operating System. System must be restarted to take effect,” The powerful voice inside Soarin’s goggles said.

“YES! Do that!” He pleaded to the headgear, bringing his head down on the table again.

“Postponed for four hours.”

“No! Celestia... damn it,” Soarin cursed, beginning the head trauma process again.

Flam started chewing on his metal chains rabidly, a hunger forming in his eyes for tasty, nutritious steel. Dark lines formed under his eyes and sweat dripped from his mane, onto his nose, and reversed up his nostrils. His speech was a rapid string of frenzied babble, but he eventually found several sentences that were questionable.

“Look at these bees everywhere, brother!” Flim saw nothing. “Get away bees! No, I won’t eat my brother’s mane! I don’t care how good it looks, not without salt! What? The dog has salt? I-I am pretty hungry, but I like my arms in place! Dogs don’t like sweat, eh? Hah, then I’ll be fine!”

Flam began hopping his chair forward, heaving with the immense weight of the chains but determined to get that salt. More of the apparent dog-repellent clung to the edges of his face as Flim bewilderedly watched his brother jump closer to his doom. Cerberus looked amused.

"Wanna play eye-spy?" Applebloom suggested to her two friends strapped to the chair with her. Before either of them could protest, she started. "I spy... something brown!"

Scootaloo was face-height with the big oval table. "Wood," She said sourly.

"Yeah!" Applebloom cheered. Noticing nopony else shared her enthusiasm, she turned her head to Sweetie Belle, sighing. "So whatcu doin'?"

"Hallucinating. I see some ponies riding on top of some huge guinea pigs or something down there," She said, looking into the orange glare that signalled a desert.

Applebloom followed her friend's eyes, and avoided the streaks of burning light to see the outlines of what was described to her previously.

"Hey, ah think ah see it too!"

"Really?" The white filly squeaked. "Discord's magic is weird."

"Ah'm pretty sure they're getting closer..."

The outlines of the delusions started to emerge as figures, and details could be made out. There were six ponies on six brightly-coloured rodents, the small paws sinking and rising in the dunes of sand. Swaying left to right on their mounts, the ponies seemed to be indicating towards them, or fainting where they were sat.

"Is this gonna get weird?" Applebloom asked, pulling Scootaloo's attention to the figures as well. Her neck was somehow doing a one-eighty degree turn.

"You saying today's been normal?" The orange filly pointed out.

"Huh. 'Spose not."

The figures sped up, and Cerberus began to growl at the trespassers, standing at full attention and completely ignoring Flam who was head-butting his mighty arm in search of the salt. There were four mares, coated dark, green, cream and white. Sweetie Belle thought she recognised some of them, but she felt on the verge of passing out, thus it was left unconfirmed.

There were also two stallions, both white-coated. One, with a blue moustache and a cracked monocle, had a black piece of clothing wrapped around his head, acting as a makeshift sweatband and dangling gracefully over his horn. The other was unconscious, or worse, and draped over his white hamster, matting its otherwise glorious fur with sweat.

The growling intensified, and became thunderous warning barks. Echoing through the limitless sky, the explosion of noise forced the hamsters to rear, knocking the riders off as they squeaked frantically. They broke off in random directions and ran for anywhere the demon-dog was not, changing course erratically.

Barking and squealing rang through the air, even as Cerberus was only chasing a single, purple rodent. The rest scattered away from their owners, taking the dog with them. The chair-bound ponies were entertained, if not baffled.

"NIBBLES! COME BACK, EVERYTHING IS FINE!" The green mare pleaded, her hoof in the sky. The hamster ignored her, even as it was forgotten by the predator. It scurried away to freedom, safe from the insanity and hopefully back to the life one would expect from a hamster. "I LOVED YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?"

A conciliatory cream hoof was placed on the mare as she broke down on her knees dramatically. The dark-coated pony and the blue-maned stallion trotted up to the prisoners while simultaneously hovering the knocked out stallion above them.

"Would you care to accept this sacrifice in exchange for information?" Fancypants asked the fillies, laying Blueblood at their feet. Octavia hit his shoulder, and the tuxedo fell lazily from his head. "Pardon me, I mean to ask whether you are all just further hallucinations."

"How do we know you ain't hallucinations?" Applebloom retorted.

"I am not at liberty to discuss philosophy, I'm afraid. Now, are you or are you not the rulers of this land and are you able to spare us taxi money?"

Octavia, rubbing her eyes tiredly and smoothing out her dishevelled mane, answered for them.

"If they were the leaders, would they be tied up?"

Fancypants considered this momentarily.

"Some kind of coup d'état?

"Go wait with the others."

He took off his broken monocle and complied, tracing the damage with his hoof as he walked away. Octavia looked over the bunch of ponies on the verge of snapping, who all returned the gaze at the broken mare.

"Would any of you be kind enough to inform me where we are... or what is going on here?"

Flam answered. "The peanut fairies stole my antenna."

"So that'd be a no?" Bon-Bon said, walking up to the scene.

"We were kidnapped! Now for the love of Celestia get us out of these chains!" Soarin begged, his head bruised and mane divided.

"Kidnapped? That sounds... awfully familiar," Octavia said, glancing at Bon-Bon and meeting her worried look.

Discord's laugh came first, and then his oversized lollipop. He took centre-stage on the table, his face manifesting into a wide grin. The chains disappeared, mobility restored to the group cringing at the draconequues' re-arrival. The weathered adventurers, meanwhile, split off and formed their own group.

"Hey!" Discord said. "It's... you guys..." He scratched his head, trying to recall the ponies names.

"The ones you left in the middle of nowhere?" Bon-Bon accused.

"Come on now, is that really fair? I was thinking about coming back."

"I'm pretty sure Blueblood needs serious medical attention," Octavia pointed to the motionless body.

Discord regarded him skeptically, inspecting each and every corner of the once-prissy stallion. In silence, he spawned an extravagant airship a few miles above him. With a flick of his wrist, he ordered the behemoth contraption to dive at them. While the ponies ducked, cowered and covered their eyes, the ship instantly reduced to the size of a fairly big water balloon and splashed Blueblood's face daintily.

Nothing happened. No stirring or movement was elicited from the comatose wreck of a prince.

"Well, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. Out of sight, out of mind and all that. Moving swiftly on..." Discord materialized a royal red carpet and hid Blueblood's body underneath, kicking it carelessly.

"I'll trade you half my brother for that salt!" Flam said, tugging Discord's tail pleadingly. Flim looked hurt.

"Flam, Flam, Flam," Discord started soothingly, his arm resting over the insane pony's shoulders. "Only half? You get back to me with a better offer, and we'll see about that salt, hm?" Flam's eyes twitched as he fell to the ground to draw up marketing averages for slavery.

"Now, enough dilly-dallying, you ponies have got trials to run!" Discord said, and the ground began rumbling.

He brought up two massive walls either side of the disoriented gathering. Dirt fell from the shining, golden walls and a third wall cut off the route behind them. The two vertical walls merged together to form a triangular roof, and they were trapped save for one opening. They were funnelled into a single, glistening corridor with a glaring white exit down the path a little.

There was a suspicious patch of sand that acted as a puny pre-cursor to a gauntlet ahead of them, swinging logs moving at an incredible pace that seemed unavoidable. Following that were obvious pressure plates with holes dotting the walls either side, and several parasprites hovering happily, not quite able to eat the giant death-logs.

At least it was ventilated. There was a lonely air conditioner strapped to the left wall, adjacent to the rug that concealed royalty.

"We have to get through that?" Lyra asked, alternating her view between the draconequues and the course.

"Well, that seems like the only way to freedom, doesn't it?"

"Can those who don't like chaos be excluded?" Spitfire asked.

"No, you have to run it twice."

"Damn it."

Vinyl put her hoof up. "What about all of us that have done this junk before? Don't get me wrong, the hamster balls were fun and all..."

"Hm, I suppose it wouldn't exactly be fair after all you've been through..." He agreed.

The original group looked hopeful. That is, until they appeared in a cage the other side of the obstacle course. The new ponies breathed a sigh of relief as they appeared safe. The ponies on the other side of the passage, however, did not seem so happy. Vinyl was trying to break the grey prison bars with her teeth, while Lyra shook the entire cage, yelling. The more composed of their group just rested their heads in their hooves.

"Now you have some incentive!" Discord said. "If at least one of you reaches the end, the cage'll unlock and they'll be set free!" Discord clasped his hands together, and a smirk formed across his dastardly face.

"Of course, you don't really know these ponies, do you? The power of 'teamwork' and 'friendship' shouldn't apply to a bunch of strangers should it?"

"I know them!" Derpy exclaimed, but she went by ignored.

The ponies were trying to figure out what he was getting at, before he created a fire exit in the side of the wall to add to his point. It creaked open, revealing sunlight, flora and signs of civilisation. The feeling of pure air seeping in was tantalizing. The sweet smells of Ponyville and the refined air of Canterlot drifted through the crack in the door.

"You could just leave. I won't stop you. Why risk your fragile, fragile minds for some ponies you've never met?"

Flim took this opportunity immediately. "Say no more."

He grabbed his brother by the ear, who was desperately etching into the dirt, and dragged him out the exit wordlessly. The door closed, and silence surrounded them. Hoof-steps sounded off in the crunchy grass, and the temptation of freedom was strong.

"It's... it's that easy?" Soarin wondered, to which he received a slap on the back of the head from Spitfire.

"C'mon, that Wonderbolt code of ethics has got us again. 'Leave nopony in danger' or something like that. Besides, this'll be a cake-fly, it's got nothing on the stadium course." Soarin begrudgingly accepted, his head hanging low.

"Do we get a prize?" Derpy asked excitedly, keen on saving some ponies, but eager at the prospect of a reward.

"Surely, friendsh-" Discord tried to compose his laughter. "Friendship is a rewar- hah, reward in itself!"

Derpy scrunched up her face. It was her thinking face.

"There's also muffins," He added quickly, to which her eyes went wide.

She stared at the door in the toughest concentration she could muster. A million thought process went through her mind, weighing up the pros and cons of leaving right then and there. Her face got scrunchier and scrunchier until it was in danger of collapsing in on itself, before closing her eyes in one final thought.

"Nope. Bros before doughs!"

Discord was surprised, even impressed by her resilience. "Very well, then you can be the first to go," He smiled slyly.

While Derpy mentally prepared herself, Discord silently pulled Scootaloo away from her friends. Her face tried to put up some form of protest, but by putting a finger to his mouth, Discord halted any method of speech.

"Scootaloo... do you know what Rainbow Dash would really appreciate?" His eyes appeared to spin and rotate in the colours of a rainbow, but Scootaloo could hardly concentrate on that after what he had just said.

Her face lit up a little. Discord hadn't been bad so far, not really. He had given them a truck full of candy! And if he could somehow get her closer to Rainbow Dash, when this was all over anyway, she would be even crazier than whatever the hay was going on to pass it up. She shook her head, and he pointed to the Wonderbolts.

"Here's a tranquilliser, and a net." He passed her some kind of flute with a red dart in and a pony-sized butterfly-catching net. "I'm going to turn around, and whatever happens, happens." He patted her on the head, and his eyes dropped back into their normal red.

With the stare broken, she looked at the tranquilliser in her left hoof, and the surprisingly light, but large, net in her right.

Discord was a genius. If she could merely capture these ponies, Rainbow Dash's heroes, then by the process of diffusion, (she didn't know what that meant or if it had any relevance, she just heard Cheerilee say it at some point) Scootaloo would become her hero. Right? At the very least, Rainbow Dash would be so amazed that she would teach her everything she would learn from the kidnapped Wonderbolts!

This plan was completely flawless.

"Hey, Scootaloo, y'alright?" Applebloom asked as her and Sweetie Belle turned around.

Scootaloo, with the speed of Rainbow Dash herself, hid the tools behind her back before stammering out, "Y-yeah, just, erm, got a feeling that the trial thingy might get a little messy."

She couldn't share her plan with the others. They knew how cool Rainbow Dash was as well, and they might want to share the responsibility of taking the Wonderbolts down and thus too, bask in Rainbow's awesomeness. While she realized there was enough of that to go around, she felt she had deserved to be a little greedy- she didn't have the responsibility to save the world like the elements did, so time out for herself should be fine.

Every second Applebloom continued to stare at her, while Sweetie Belle watched Derpy who was carefully sniffing the starting line. Scootaloo was crumbling under the pressure of her friend's intimidating orange eyes. Any moment she thought she would snap under the weight of her guilty conscience, and her motive would be discovered.

"Okedoke," Applebloom said obliviously.

She gave a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat from her head as she studied the two Wonderbolts. One dart. Maybe this plan was partly flawed.

"Aha!" Derpy exclaimed. Everypony's eyes were on her, barring one carefully considering filly. "There's something under this bit of sand, I knew I smelt something delicious!"

She began brushing the sand away with her muzzle and hooves, not venturing too far ahead though. After a moment of quiet, and a few concerned stares at the grey mare, something jumped up from the ground.

It hovered there for little more than half a second, something crispy and golden brown, containing a pool of thick, dark liquid, before exploding. A cascade of batter and vegetable gravy washed over her as the force of the eruption knocked the mail-mare into the Wonderbolts, throwing a certain somepony's aim off and dripping the goop all over the athletes.

"Woopsie-daisy..." Derpy said, lying horizontally across them as they groaned.

"I should have probably mentioned those, the bouncing Bessie's™... try and avoid them," Discord confirmed.

A sudden look of determination flashed on Derpy's face, flying into the air and back at the start of the course. She used the dripping, warm liquid on her hooves to create some tribal war-paint on her cheeks, before taking an aggressive stance. She was going to free those ponies, or swallow a truckload of gravy trying.

She darted straight ahead.

And instantly was propelled upwards by three of the bouncers. She broke through the roof of the tunnel they were trapped in, blasting off into potential freedom, caked in goo. A light shower of the remnants trickled onto the stunned ponies, mouths agape and staring into the hole. It sealed, a series of strings covering the gap and enlarging until it was filled.

"Is she going to be okay?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Discord shrugged a very uninspiring shrug.

Suddenly, a certain Wonderbolt's Soarin-sense was tingling. He turned around to meet the eyes of a crazed filly with a type of primitive weapon aimed at Spitfire.

The agility taught to him throughout his career as a Wonderbolt was realised in that split-second where he dove. Shielding her in an overly-dramatic fashion, his wings extended with a resounding, "Nooo!" being cried, he took the tranquilliser to the bottom of his neck.

He fell into a limp pile as the ponies changed their focus from the hole to the Wonderbolt. Scootaloo's face flared red, she dropped the blow-dart and hid the net behind her. She was aiming for the captain. Her friends must have spotted her in the act, they were trying to get a glance of the weapon.

Paralysed with uncertainty on whether to continue with the plan, she merely uttered, "Discord told me to. He said I could go free if I did."

"Ah, dishonesty," Discord said. "A lovely vice to have learnt." He mentally patted himself on the back.

Spitfire, meanwhile, was keeping Soarin's head off the ground as he faded in and out of consciousness. She looked concerned, his tongue lolling in and out of his mouth wasn't doing much to satisfy hear fears. His eyes rolled around and face kept scrunching.

"You okay? You look a bit worse than normal, Soarin," Spitfire said.

"There was... something... something in that d-dart," He said, and Spitfire thought she should probably take it out now.

She flicked it away and saw a rather large pimple form over the tiny cavity. She resisted the urge to mock its grossness. She should have probably been more worried, but Discord hadn't done much physical harm to them so far.

"Spitfire... if this is the end..."

"It's not, but go on."

"I need to say I... I... love..."

Spitfire rubbed her eyes tiredly. She hoped he wouldn't embarrass her in front of these ponies and a centuries-old spirit. Enough things had happened today.

"Pie..." He faded out of consciousness, before laughing weakly to himself, and a wave of snoring took over.

Spitfire's face dropped any trace of concern and dropped his big dumb head on the ground. She turned her head to Scootaloo and mouthed, "Thank you." Scootaloo kicked the floor sheepishly as her friends found and inspected the tools.

Spitfire sighed, observing the log swings and minefield before it, analysing the threats ahead. Pressure plates couldn't do anything so long as she kept in the air. The gauntlet might be tough, but avoidable. Beyond that, she had no idea.

She didn't care what happened to her anymore, her only incentive to win was to prevent the fillies from running it. Even the one that had tried to tranquillise her. Saving the other ponies was a bonus.

"Well?" Discord said, circling the yellow pegasus.

Spitfire trotted to the start, breathing deeply. She caught a glimpse of the trio relying on her to win. Despite performing at countless events, with the most critical of audiences, this was the one she was most nervous about. Their large, expectant eyes counting on her was simultaneously adorable and the single most horrifying thing she had ever seen.

The Bessies™ were first. And she abruptly hatched a plan to at least soften the onslaught of them she might face. Discord watched her, confused as she turned around and walked to the elaborate carpet covering Blueblood.

Wordlessly, she realigned his body into the carpet and rolled him up into it. He was breathing, but didn't show any signs of waking. He was wrapped in it like a traditional Mexicolt food. Barring his head for precious oxygen, he was completely enveloped in red. She rolled him across by head-butting the carpet to the starting sand.

Discord was on the edge of his magical floating seat. "Please tell me you are going to do what I think you're going to do with him..." He was on the verge of laughing as it appeared so.

Looking at Blueblood's sweaty, red face, she thought it would be natural to feel a little sorry for him in this state.

She kicked him into the sand patch and took cover.

He rolled and rolled, the first few mines already been set off by Derpy. She cringed at each slither of progress the rapidly slowing Blueblood made. That was, until his awakening completely distracted her.

He yawned and casually looked around, not yet realising exactly what was going on or why he was spinning in what he assumed to be his luxurious bed. As soon as he noticed his entrapment, he also saw Discord, and everything memory came flooding back.

"For the love of-"

*SPLURT*

He screamed a shrill, feminine scream as the four Bessies™ took him to the moon.

Spitfire felt a lot worse knowing he was awake to experience it, while Discord was bursting with laughter. The fillies watched him as if he were a firework, 'ooh-ing' and 'ahh-ing' as another mine popped up and followed the shooting star, making daft patterns in the sky.

Discord was applauding amidst excessive laughing, taking pride that he needn't even tell them to cause chaos anymore. It came naturally. His objective was being fulfilled, slowly and hilariously.

Spitfire thought about sending Soarin's unconscious body to mop up any leftovers, but if he woke up too she wouldn't hear the last of it.

As ready as she was going to be, Spitfire launched herself through the course.

Hitting the end of the sand patch with only one mine activating, and promptly failing to match her velocity, she continued on to the gauntlet.

Nothing more than a menial Equestrian Gladiator challenge, Spitfire dodged and weaved with ease. No match more the captain of the Wonderbolts. It was the pressure plates that were tougher.

The stone grey plates shot out of the ground and into the air, mirroring the mines she had previously defeated. A plume of steam rocketed them upwards at her, stealing her view from the logs so she could effectively avoid them.

The lumbering smash of a log collided with her right wing, sending her into a spin. She couldn't call herself a Wonderbolt if she didn't recover from this.

Falling into the momentum and balancing the effort on each wing, she used less than a second of resurveying her surroundings to avoid the last few logs.

While she spotted nothing immediately ahead of her, she didn't take a pause for fear of a lovely Discord-style surprise. The cheering of the caged ponies could be heard, beckoning her past the last hurdle that hastily flanked her either side and up to the end of the run: her view was swarmed with parasprites.

Punching a hole through the lovable swarm, parasprites clouded Spitfire's peripheral as she was forced to close her eyes. She felt them bogging her down, the cuddly cute mass sticking to her as she advanced. She was forced to hold her breath- choking on one of these wasn't how she wanted to go.

Breaking through the last of them, she met flexibility and freedom, not caring that she was going far too fast to stop. She crashed into the cage with a resounding 'clang', and the cheering quickly turned to 'ooh...' and mutterings of concern.

But the pain eating her entire body was not enough to overshadow the fact that when she heard these partly-insane ponies voices, it meant she had won. She opened her eyes and saw just that, with a heck of a lot of sweat surrounding her. Discord teleported to her along with a snoozing Soarin and the three fillies who were applauding her as well.

The others' noises of happiness were drowned out by heavy, slow claps from a sarcastic draconequues.

"Well done, well done, you actually won that little game." He muttered underneath his breath momentarily, "I swear I had those parasprites set to carnivorous..." He removed the cage reluctantly, and the prisoners, namely Vinyl and Lyra, raised Spitfire into the air through magic.

"Can we please, please go now?" Octavia asked.

Silence fell as they anticipated Discord's next words.

"You can go," He said, normally, but always with a smirk. "But I promise you, and take this as you will: this experience will stay with you."

He disappeared, causing the walls trapping them to crumble and reveal the nature they had been kept from for so long.

There wasn't much sunshine anymore, but the wind carried a refreshing, cold bite that would have to serve as a rush for the final length home. The desert, the one which they were sure did not actually exist, was no longer in the distance. Hills replaced the dead flat of grass, a little area of paradise in a chaotic world.

Unfortunately, this paradise didn't have any of their stuff, so they resolved to try and head right back into the chaos as soon as possible.

"What do you think he meant by that?" Bon-Bon asked anypony who would answer.

"Who cares?! Freedom!" Vinyl said, raising her hooves before looking around. "In what direction exactly is freedom?"

Answering for her was something that was not a pony. A series of mechanical noises signalled the arrival of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy, steam shooting from it into the air and an uncontrolled green magical aura circling the important bits. It chugged towards them hesitantly, and stopped right in front of them. No-pony was driving.

"I always wondered what went on inside here, brother," The voice of a stallion said.

"Despite making it, Flam?"

"It's very untidy in here. We need to work on this."

Spitfire, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Octavia, Vinyl, Fancypants and the CMC looked at the machine, the talking stopping. Soarin, meanwhile, decided to wake up and witness the con-stallions' captivity in the machine.

"Did we win?" He asked groggily, lifting his head with a lot of effort.

"Oh, its you guys," Flim said.

"Looks like no," And he fell back asleep, the talking machine, amongst other things today, sure to haunt his mind.

"Sorry, it's kinda hard to see in here. By which I mean it's impossible," Flim continued.

"Rides to Ponyville! A hundred bits a head, fifty for the little ones!" Flam said.

The group looked at each other, trying to figure out which one would cough up the hefty, but necessary price. A quick whisper amongst themselves, and the problem was solved. The rumbling of hooves on sturdy wood took Flim's attention.

"You just all jumped on didn't you?" Flim sighed. "I miss my eyes. And body. And not being inside this machine. Fine! Let's go."

Comments

[CelestialScribe]

Wow, where did November go? Woops.
Oh yeah: I am in no way affiliated with Aunt Bessie's™ food products, I am merely a Yorkshire pudding enthusiast.
I apologise for this stupid wait, I was doing stupid things. I get the feeling I have left many a mistake in this chapter...

[Themaskedferret]

*laughs and cheers* Bravo bravo! Discord felt very well written and great fun besides. Don't worry about the wait it was worth it,

[Chaotic Discord]

Discordian Episodes?
Discordian Episodes! *spazzes*
Yay! Now I get to read about chaos right before I go to bed! Sweet dreams to myself~ xD

[Risky]

1812090
Yeah, wouldn't kill you to proof read, dude. Otherwise, hah! My favorite chapter still remains the battle at canterlot castle but this was a fun one, as always. How many more chapters are you expecting to churn out before this finishes up? We seem close to the end, and I imagine the epilogue for this story would be pretty damn entertaining.

[Mr. Grimm]

Oh dear...I have a feeling things are going to become a lot weirder...

And if Discord did that to Flim and Flam...WHAT DID HE DO TO TRIXIE?

And I have a feeling that, if Discord hasn't screwed up the laws of gravity, Derpy should be reappearing very soon.

[CelestialScribe]

1813228
Considering my state of tiredness when this was published... proofreading would have certainly killed me.
As for the rest of the story... I haven't thought that far ahead.

[Narrative Style]

Another fine serving of ytinasni!
The wait was worth it. Also: THE HAMPSTERS ARE OK, RIGHT?!? Oh, and Derpy too, I guess.

[GruntBrony]

I must say, now whenever I think of BlueBlood I think of him blasting off like Team Rocket.

[Smoker]

oh sweet cheebus... the look on bonbon's face in title pic...

shudder...

[thereallegend123]

Oh man, I can't begin to list everything I love about this story, especially the first six chapters! Admittedly, it began to decline in quality after that, as the characters became less interesting, and the gags began to lose their novelty. Even so, I hope you finish it someday. :)