• Member Since 30th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Dec 6th, 2018

Razzle Dazzle


Give 'em the ol' Razzle Dazzle!

T
Source

The Valley of the Sun has always been harsh to those who can't handle the heat. When Scott Smith wakes up as a female unicorn, she learns that everything's worse when you're a quadruped alone in a desolate city. As the days heat up and the hunt is on for food, water, and power, even the simplest tasks become impossible. This is how she fares as a unicorn mare.

This is a side story to Starscribe's The Last Pony on Earth.

(Rated Teen for some light swearing and talking about sex)

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 43 )

Phoenix, huh? You know I recall Life After People went into detail about the fate of Phoenix really soon after people disappear. It's not a happy tale at all, a death sentence over a period of months, I imagine. Especially when power fails and so does air conditioning units.

6158530
Yeah, it's pretty depressing. I'm working on ways to solve some of the problems that surviving in post-Event Phoenix creates. It'll make for a unique story, that's for sure.

Agreeing whole-heartedly with 6158530

Interesting idea, but this person is going to have a hell surviving in such a warm and dry setting.

Hope you're ready to embrace or at least acknowledge that type of bleakness, or the central idea of a starting point is going to go to —pardon the pun, waste.

Still, a good if rather basic start. Just thought I'd add the above as well. :twilightsmile:

6158852

Part of the issue is that no single entity, not even a Pegasus, could 'solve' Phoenix's issues. Once the power runs out and the pumps and aqueducts stop conveying water to the region . . . There is a reason it will only take weeks for all fresh water everywhere in the area to dry up. Though the monsoon rain effects that occur may be interesting, provided one can figure out a way to keep cool and collect the rain water when that occurs. A pretty elaborate setup is possible, but a human would be hard pressed to design it and have it withstand dust storms + 120 degree heat + monsoon rain + mud everywhere once the combination of them all occurs.

Any sane creature would just vacate the area :unsuresweetie:

Her car was still in the garage and her phone was on the table, my calls unread. So she disappeared with the rest of the city too. That’s sad.

...Does Scott have some type of emotional disability? Or has it just not sunk in yet? :rainbowhuh:

Because most people would have a far stronger reaction to their mom being gone, good or ill depending on the parent, than: 'That's sad.'

6160332
He doesn't have a disability, it just comes a day after he gets a whole new body, so he's still in a bit of shock. It's not like in the main story, where Alex had over a month to get used to being a pony and recovering from that, and just when he's getting back in the swing of things, there's another shock. That crutch he was on is taken right from him, as opposed to Scott, where right now there have been two drastic changes in a day (which miiight come back to bite him later).

6160466

Fair enough. Just wanted to make sure it was intentional. :twilightsmile:

6160332

I had a laugh at "That's sad.". I don't know if I should feel ashamed of myself or not. The journal is extremely to the point though, the main character might as well be a robot. I suppose we'll see if he breaks down later.

I'm reminded of a section from A New Sun:

Then Celestia and Luna told their story. Mag noticed she didn't merit an introduction, not that she had any problem with that at all. She also noticed Celestia and Luna told the story very differently than they'd told it to Mag. The content was the same, but the delivery was fact-filled, unemotional, and full of precise language. Events were almost unrecognizable. Celestia had calmly observed the end of her world, checked her watch, proceeded briskly to a hospitable world, and made camp. After resting, she went back to Equestria to more closely examine its remains

Because the journal reflects that kind of tone so far. The only thing she got even the tiniest bit emotional about is being a mare.

Oh, cute twist. :rainbowkiss:

Going to be interesting where that goes.

I salute you for reversing both genders. Many stories on go one direction if they do that, and it's almost always male to female. Even stories where both are reversed, the female to male is only implied, while the male to female is the one described and analyzed. I can think of only a handful that did both, and all of them are tg/tf clopfests.

That said, while I do want to see where it goes, I can't help but question the writing style. Are the entries typed, or dictated? The writer is expressing feelings and opinions that would probably on reflection disturb her! And that format is exactly the kind to invite such reflections.

It's not just Jessica that Scott was talking about, it was the gender. Unless the writer has no problems with not just gushing over male characters, but of a different race too. That may be the case as far as I know, not enough inspection to really tell.

Well, somepony still has a crush, it seems... :rainbowkiss:

Out of random curiosity, have you read Wings and Scrolls?

This was a sweet chapter, I just would have liked to see the clop for it too, but over all it was nice. :pinkiehappy:

6182483
Thank you!


6182403
I've heard of it but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. If I have some down time I might.

Does Story of do with Carthage with name like last Phonecian(You know because Carthage was last bastion of Phoenician culture after bronze age)

6192600 No, it's not in Phoenicia. It's Phoenix. The term for people who live there is the same for both places.

Hmm...

I do wonder, with these guys having been an item before and it not working, but being near fairy-tale romance now...

Just what changed, aside from the obvious?

Is there just less social pressure getting in the way? Better chemistry due to the pony thing altering hormones? Is the sex just that good?

Hope that gets elaborated on. :raritystarry:

One day, there will be a fic with a female character throwing up in the morning, and it will be a stomach infection.

Ponies must get knocked up real easy :twilightsheepish:

Nice to see the colony growing though.

As the future approaches, so does Leon.

I am very excited for our crossover, I just hope it actually happens.

I wonder if anypony else in this colony has figured out what Scott is clearly too obtuse to realize yet. :pinkiehappy:

Certainly a lot of pregnancies going around... like an epidemic.

6248868 http://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol3/5/3-5.pdf

The chance of a single act of intercourse resulting in pregnancy for otherwise healthy humans peaks at about 25%, if at the right time of the month.
I was unable to find peer reviewed data for either ponies, or magical ponies.

6260150 The Peers are obviously lacking. Imagine, no data for ponies, magical or otherwise. But right now we are at about... I admittedly didn't keep my count. At least three.

I like to compare the way Leon learned magic to the way others did.


Joe: He learned through a magic circle.

Scott: Learned through months of meditation.

Leon: Learned through meditation, and in a desperate last ditch attempt to save two lives by bashing someone's head in.

6266430

Swift Quill: learned in a desperate attempt to save somepony who was falling off a roof.

6267173

I can imagine the two meeting uo.

Leon: "I learned magic through months of meditation, and in a desperate attempt to save myself and my friend from a knife wielding psychopath."

Swift Quill: "I was trying to save someone from death by falling"

Leon: "I think we'll be the best of friends."

I have thoroughly enjoyed all the stories in the Ponies After People universe. I have a feeling we're watching the beginnings of what will, in many millenia to come, be Equestria. In most of the Life After People series, it only took a few centuries for things to look like people never lived where we did. Perhaps, in a number of millenia, Equestria will evolve from these, and other survivors.

As an epilogue, I think it would be interesting for Twilight or any of the Main Six to find some kind of record of what they once were, and to see their reaction to the news, that their ancient, ancient, ancient ancestors were once bipedal creatures that effectively dominated the world.

A truly interesting story!!

6270329 I get the feeling you haven't finished reading Last Pony on Earth yet, have you?

6271035 - Apparently not, since something does happen. I'm working my way though them by the stories that catch my interest. I like the gender-swap stories the most, so I'm reading them first.

I'll get there eventually!!

6274442 Well, it was unclear for most of the story, but there are in fact two major characters in Last Pony on Earth who were gender-swapped. Though we don't really learn the second one for certain until the sequel, Founders of Alexandria. So there is something for your interest there.

But yeah, the theory that Earth is becoming Equestria was pretty thoroughly Jossed in the last few chapters of Last Pony on Earth.

Huh, nice to see that the colony grows great and strong!

Let's hope some of that rubs off on Leon, eh?

But no, in all seriousness, I'm happy to see things work out so well for them.

6288175 Yeah, I'm planning a few stories set in the future once this one is done. Things go pretty well, thanks to weather magic and earth ponies being able to grow things in the middle of the desert.

Although the flash forward is actually a neat idea, having it in the middle of a chapter like this implies that it's a permanent time-skip.

Might be less confusing long-term (pardon the pun) if you keep them contained to their own chapters.

Following to see how this plays out. AS other comments have said the Phoenix area isn't good for a large group long term without plenty of water. People have lived in Arizona long before electric power and air conditioning was common. Though truthfully you might as well include the majority of the south west in that statement about water, That being said the south west being so warm provides an ample growing season there is a reason the majority of the produce in the US comes out that region

Wow, I'm surprised to see the story end so abruptly! I look forward to seeing what comes of these characters. I absolutely want our characters to continue interacting. We may have been up almost all night, but it was so fun!

I look forward to seeing what comes, and I especially look forward to working with you again!

6685958 I just needed it to end before it got even more rambly. The sequel will pick up right about where it left off.

And there's no questioning that we need to do another crossover.

...it's quiet here.

7101934 Yeah, sorry about that.

I'm sure you don't want to hear a long rant about every single reason why I haven't written anything, but suffice it to say I've been meaning to get back to this. There's still a plan for a sequel, and the first few chapters are sitting unloved on Google Drive. I really don't know when I'll be back, but my best guess is the end of June. Maybe earlier. Hopefully earlier.

Thanks!
Looking forward to any sequel. :)

This is how the world ends.
This is how the world ends.
Not with a bang, but with too much of "Cards Against Humanity."

Well that escalated quickly. curious how they're gonna deal with the lack of water in the area.

I doubt you'll ever see this, since at the time of posting this you haven't been online for 2 years, but i have a personal rule to try and leave a comment on every story i finish.

I have to admit i think the biggest issue i have with the story is the pacing. Characters are introduced very quickly and rarely get a mention again or any development making it hard to care for any of them. In general it feels like things are happening just a little bit too quickly as well. Then again that might just be a pitfall of the journal style of story telling.

Still it wasn't bad and it had its moments. Overall an enjoyable story.

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