• Published 2nd Jul 2015
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The Last Phoenician - Razzle Dazzle



This is how the world ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.

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May 28

Thursday, May 28

Dear Journal,

Today (Yesterday? I’m making this in the morning.) was great. We got some water from Phoenix’s elaborate canal system. This should be enough to last us another week, so that’s good.

But that’s not the reason why it was so great.

I woke up still regretting kissing Jessica and still dreading breakfast. I briefly contemplated staying in my room for a few hours more, but I knew he would still be here. There isn’t much to do here, and I’d have to face him eventually. So I left the comfort of the dogs and my room.

He was sitting at the table in the same spot he always does. Two bowls of dried mangoes sat on either end. It was just a normal breakfast, right? Right? Then why was i so freaked out?

“Hey, Scott, you’re here,” he said. He noticed how nervous I was right off the bat. “I’ve only been sitting here for a couple minutes. You didn’t sleep for that much longer than me.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” I took a bite of mango.

“Don’t be. It really was only a few minutes more.”

“No, not that.” I facepalmed (facehoofed?). “I’m talking about last night.”

“Oh, that.” He paused. “Yeah, what was that about, anyway?”

I looked up from the bowl of dried fruit. “ Um, well…” I paused as I tried to explain myself, only to find that I couldn’t. I sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, I was happy you saved me from those coyotes, but I don’t know why I kissed you.

“All this is just so confusing and hard! First I wake up as a mare, then everybody disappears, then I go up to my parents’ houses and they’re gone too, and then I meet you! And I should be so happy that I found another survivor, but I’m not.”

I rub an eye and it comes back wet. I realize that I’ve been crying. “Because then I start to get all weird when I’m around you. And what’s supposed to be this great moment becomes just another thing that I don’t understand.” I wasn’t just crying anymore, I was sobbing. What the hell was wrong with me?

“And I can’t live with myself! I can’t. Everyone in the city dies except for me. All my other friends, my family, my parents, they’re gone! They’re gone and will never come back, and I can’t stop thinking about them.”

I got up from the chair and trotted out of the room. “I can’t do this.”

I kept trotting into my room, not even bothering to close the door, and threw myself on the bed, buried my face in the pillow, and cried. I cried for my parents, for my city, and for my humanity. For everyone who was gone, and for everyone who would grow up in a decaying world. I lost track of time.

A knock on the doorframe distracted me from my pity party. I looked up and saw Jessica standing in the doorway. He walked over to the bed and sat down on the floor, resting his head on the comforter. “You know it’s not your fault that any of this happened,” he said.

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any less sad. They’re gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

He rubbed my shoulder with a cream-colored hoof. “You shouldn’t beat yourself up about things you can’t control.” He smiled. “That’s something you always say, and it’s true.”

“It’s just so much to take in in so little time.”

“But this is you we’re talking about! You’ve been through so much and always came out on top! This is no different.”

“But I’m a horse, and a girl! Everything about me is different now!”

“But you’re still you where it matters,” He poked my chest with a hoof. “Here,” He poked my forehead. “And here. And that’s the part about you that’s my favorite. Because as long as you have a heart and a brain, you can overcome anything thrown your way.”

My cheeks reddened and I smiled. “Get up here.” He laid down on the bed and I curled up next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. His hoof traced circles into my back as I rested on him. It might have been strange, but it felt good.

I must have laid there for an hour. We didn’t say anything or do anything. Eventually an idea made it’s way into my head. “Hey, Jessica,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to go down to the canals and see what water I can find.”

“Go for it.”

I took Marv, the water filter, and the rest of breakfast and set off to the nearby canal. When I got there, I was shocked. Already half the water was gone, and it had only been a few days since everybody disappeared.

I dragged a bucket through the off-colored canal water and dumped it into the top of the water purifier. This thing is the size of a washing machine. Dirty water goes in the top, clean water comes out the bottom. Push a tap to get the water out, and clean the crap off the filter every few uses. After only an hour I had filled up a few Home Depot buckets with water. Those things hold five gallons of water, too. And I filled three in an hour with eight equally large -clean- garbage bins from Walmart waiting. And I filled those up too. I threw some plastic wrap over the tops of them (which is impossible with hooves) and went back home.

I put them in the spare room with the rest of the water. Jessica was thrilled that we had so much water. Apparently the stuff he planted was already starting to peek out from the soil, and he was getting really excited. I was happy, too. Canned food didn’t compare to fresh stuff. Not even canned corn. Why did I even get any of this? It’s not the most delicious thing on its own, but it’s food.

When we finished eating, the sun had set. We took the dogs on a walk with us, and I noticed that they stayed just behind us, one of them on either side. But every time I made an observation or thought of something I was soon distracted by Jessica.

His face was lit up by the moon, and he looked so amazing. I kept sneaking glances over at him, and then those glances became longer. Eventually I just stared at him for the rest of the walk. If you saw him you’d feel the same way.

It was a normal walk. We went by the houses I passed out near and I told him the story of how I got my butt-mark. He seemed thoroughly impressed, and I think he knew the possibilities magic could have. Could you control the weather with magic?

Anyways, the whole time I couldn’t stop staring at him. The way the moon painted his cream-colored face and his messy brown mane was breathtaking. By the time we got back to the house it was almost unbearable. So as we walked up to the small gate I stopped and kissed him.

Even as a pony, he’s an amazing kisser. I mean, wow. It seemed like it lasted forever, and I wanted it to. When we broke the kiss I looked into his eyes and said something that had been swimming in the back of my mind since I saw him.

“I love you.”

We kissed again.

And, well, what happened next I’d like to keep private. But, suffice it to say, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

-Scott Smith

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