• Published 2nd Jul 2015
  • 1,272 Views, 43 Comments

The Last Phoenician - Razzle Dazzle



This is how the world ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.

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May 26-27

Tuesday, May 26

Dear Journal,

I don’t think I should be calling myself a horse.

I mean, Jessica and I are much smaller, along with countless other differences. Plus, I’m a unicorn. It kinda reminds me of kids’ toys, like we’re real life ponies. I guess I’m a pony?

I think I’m starting to like it here. This house, although still creepy if you start to think about it for too long, grows on you, even after a day. I’ve set up shop in a front bedroom. The dogs, those lazy things, stay here most of the day, only leaving when we do. I keep my laptop in here. It’s secluded enough that I can use the voice-to-speech program to write these entries instead of typing them out. I can lie down on the bed and talk, and it still picks it up. I’m doing it right now. It’s relaxing. The dogs are at my feet and the bed’s nice.

So, what to say before I get into detail? Power went out today. I’m honestly surprised that it took this long. Hooray for solar farms! The panels on this house do their job. You can only have two lights on at one time, and don’t even think about using any appliances. The kitchen’s really just a preparation area now. Open the can, divide it up, take it to the table. Repeat three times a day.

Toilets are having problems, too. I have no idea how, but they flush fine. You just have to fill it up with water yourself. And the bathtub? We tried to take a bath using some of the water I took in the orange buckets, and it did not work well. Aside from wasting water (even a whole bucket was too little water, but we managed), one of us (me) had to deal with dirty bathwater.

Aside from water problems, the rest of the night went well. After I finished writing my entry we went to sleep. I stayed in the front room I commandeered, and Jessica got the fancy master bedroom. But a bunch of coyotes woke me up in the middle of the night. They were right there on the other side of the wall. I could feel it. Six inches of wood and stucco separating me from animals who would have no qualms with eating me. So, out of primal fear, I cantered into Jessica’s room and calmly informed her that there were coyotes in the courtyard and we were all going to die. I guess he felt sorry for me, so he let me stay. Not one of my proudest moments, but being with him helped me feel better. And I had the best night’s sleep of my life. I woke up and he was right next to me, and that made the whole day a bit better.

I can’t believe I just said that. It’s true, though. It did make the day better. So I’ll guess I’ll leave it. Maybe whoever’s reading this needs tips on sleeping better? Here’s a tip: wake up next to a stallion.

Where was I? Right. Woke up, fed the dogs. Jessica and I each ate a roll that had been sitting in a basket on the counter. They didn’t look moldy, and it has only been a few days since everybody disappeared, so they were fine. Tasted a bit stale, though. Not that I care.

While we ate I told him about a couple things I’ve been planning to do, the biggest one being looking for other survivors. The radio broadcast was a good start, but the only good way to find anyone and everyone is to drive around town. I left with Dakota, leaving Marv to look after Jessica. I stopped after a few minutes to siphon some gas from a gas station. I wonder how long gas will last? When the gas goes bad I’ll ditch my car and steal a diesel one. But that won’t be for a while.

Driving is a lot easier when there’s nobody else on the road. I drove up and down the arterial streets and through all the neighborhoods’ main streets. I went through most of Gilbert looking for the telltale signs of pony inhabitants. Things like doors that have been forced open, broken windows, hoof marks, or even ponies themselves. I saw nothing out of the ordinary except for a few stray dogs here and there. As the sun went down I called off my search in the East Valley until tomorrow.

I got back to the house and Jessica told me he had planted a few seeds in the backyard to see how things would grow. I thought it was a waste of water, but I had faith in him. If it meant we didn’t have to live off canned vegetables for the rest of our lives, by all means.

-Scott

Wednesday, May 27

Dear Journal,

Today just changed everything. I thought this stupid horn was decorative. Well, now I know I was wrong. Very wrong.

I mean, wow. I was wrong.

The day started off normal. I ate another roll, siphoned gas from the gas station nearby, and drove around the rest of the East Valley to look for survivors. After three hours I went back home. The search seemed fruitless. I drove back home angry and frustrated. Jessica tried to say something, but I cut her off. “I’m going on a walk,” I turned toward the front door. “Just leave me alone.”

I walked around the winding streets of the neighborhood I now lived in, my mind racing. I ended up in front of a row of three houses that had only been framed, materials laid out in front of them. I remembered my time in architecture school. I knew how to finish these. But I couldn’t, because I was a horse. But everything was right there, just too big to move around.

I felt a strange feeling around my horn. Suddenly, a few wooden beams lying on the ground flew over my head, wrapped in a green glow. They moved over to either end of the farthest house, up to the open roof. They arranged themselves perfectly and were nailed down by magic. My head felt dizzy, and I felt a tingling feeling near my butt. I looked over and there was a picture of a small house on my flank. I barely had any time to comprehend it before I passed out.

My eyes shot open. I was lying on my side in the middle of the street. My mind raced as I tried to remember what happened. I came out here, then my horn felt weird, then something put the roof on a house. And apparently I got a tattoo while I blacked out. Wait, no. That appeared when I was awake. Did I do magic? It seemed impossible, but my meter for impossibility was a little off after turning into a pony. It would explain the unicorn horn.

A howling from across the street distracted me from my discovery. Three coyotes were slinking toward me from the next street over, passing through an empty lot as they skulked closer. My pupils shrunk as I tried to think of a way to get back home, but they were blocking the only way into that part of the neighborhood. I decided to scream and gallop. I wove through the open, newly paved streets, but that didn’t shake them. They cut across empty lots and through unfinished houses, starting to gain the upper hand. But I could see the house! It was right there at the end of the block. A light was on in the back of the house, but could I make it? I could feel them right there behind me, and I screamed again when one of them tried to grab my tail. The exterior lights flickered on in the front, and suddenly, two dogs raced from the entrance towards me. I breathed a much-needed sigh of relief as they came closer and closer, but picked up my pace when I felt another grab for my tail.

The dogs leapt at the coyotes, even though they were outnumbered three to two. They writhed around as they fought in a tangle of carnivores. I didn’t stay for long, but I didn’t have to. Two gunshots rang out from down the street. I looked towards the house and saw Jessica standing in the middle of the street firing a pistol into the air. I looked back to see the coyotes running off towards the main road. The dogs didn’t follow them. He threw the gun into the gated courtyard that led to the front door as I got closer. I galloped up to him, threw my arms around his back, and kissed him right on the mouth.

In my defense, I was ecstatic, okay?

I pulled away after a few seconds. “Uh,” he stepped back, “What was that?”

My beige cheeks turned crimson as I turned away and cantered into the house. “I’m so sorry!” I shouted behind me. My mind was racing. Why did I do that? What if I just ruined things forever? What if he packs up and leaves? What if I’m alone again?

Okay, I know that won’t happen, but I’m still dreading breakfast tomorrow. It’s all I can do to make this entry before I go to sleep. Tomorrow will be interesting, that’s for sure.

-Scott Smith

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