After receiving a strange letter, Spike seeks out advice from his friends.
~~~~~
5th story of weekly shorts.
Thanks to Agrol for creating such a fitting image.
Chapters (1)
Ditz
Joined 8th Oct, 2012 ·
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SUPER SECRET ALTERNATE ENDING DON'T TELL ANYONE
“So, you are trying to say that you wrote a letter to get me to come here without Twilight knowing... To light a firework?”
The doctor laughed. “Well, anypony can simplify things… But yes.”
"What's in it for me?"
"A bag full of gems."
"Bitchin'!"
Spike blew his emerald flames over the fire work that didn't work it just vaporized "I'm sorry if I wasted your time Mr. Spike A cantrelot voiced scream was heard all over equestrian SPIKE! you little terror I'm coming for you!
pre14.deviantart.net/9983/th/pre/f/2015/050/9/3/spike_rarity_splash_by_hillbe-d8iq6be.jpg
What a twist!
A few minor grammatical errors here and there, but I'm not going to nitpick right now.
I liked the humor and the plot. Well done! Have a
6177008 I'm glad you liked it! But i welcome the help to improve my writing! Nitpick to your heart's content!
6177080
'Kay! Now let me see how much I can rip this story into little tiny pieces!
Minor issues with quotation marks here. And one of them (the last red one) ended up being, well, backwards. I'm pretty sure that's more of technical issue though... I think... Actually, I have no clue how or why it would end up that way. Oh well...
Sometimes it's okay to have a capital letter after using "...", but in this case I believe the "no" should be in lowercase. I could be wrong though.
Same capitalization thing as before, and also the wording seems a bit off. Maybe it could be reworded to something like this:
But it's only a suggestion.
I believe that this would be a better way of putting it.
I don't believe the quotation marks are necessary. Also, would Time Turner capitalize the word dragon? Grammatically he should, but he clearly has no regard for the Equish language.
Also, how did you do those strikethroughs? I must know!
Capitalization and ellipses.
Also, although the ellipses work here, I think you're using a bit too many in the story overall. See if some of them could be substituted for standard punctuation.
Priceless lampshading!
Oh, yeah, gotta be nitpicky. I think it would be better said like this:
But there's more than one right answer.
Another excellent if not terrifying pun! Though I must admit, the cutting made the most impact!
Anyway, "Now next" just seems awkward to me. I think just "Next" or "Then" or "Finally" will suffice.
It's good that you used a different font to distinguish Fluttershy's whispering, but it took my another two lines to realize it was whisper and not a shout. Maybe you could skip the bolding? Color it yellow? I dunno...
Nothing wrong here, just congratulating you on the creative usage of spacing.
Have a 
!
Dey ellipses! Where have all the commas gone? What happened to standard punctuation?
Yeah... that doesn't roll off the tongue. As I said before, the ellipses are far too many, but it actually works in this line. I just wanted to comment about the closing line.
ANYWAY...
Good luck with all your future endeavors!
Congratulations! If you managed to get through that wall of text then you have eyes and nerves of steel! Overall, aside from those... things... I found very little consistent errors. Applebloom's accent did look a little strange while I was reading it, but there's many variations to the accent I can't call it wrong.
Despite my slightly excessive nitpicking, I found this REALLY enjoyable!
Oh, and have a final
!
6178171 Thank you so much! I appreciate the help. I will certainly stop using ellipses that way. I guess it was just me getting used to do it this way because of my old phone which automatically capitalized every letter after its usage.
I will make sure to stop using them like this, OR as often from now on.
Also, I apologize if the way I write certain things, since I'm still getting used to writing English (as it isn't my first language) and I'm getting better with it, but as you've showed me, I got a ways to go.
As for the quotation marks? Microsoft Word actually makes them that way depending on how you type certain things, which I guess I didn't fix. I am surprised you noticed though, since in my mine both sides have the exact shape. Must be the fonts?
As for the
strike trough? You MIGHT be joking, but in case you aren't, there is an option here with the story editor as well as comments. It's literally an S striked through like thisS.6178475
Wow, I never guessed! Seriously, your English is better than most people who have English as their first language. Trust me, I've lived in America all my life.
English isn't your first language?
Yeah, probably the fonts.
There's a
This is an embarrassment on so many levels...
S...Wow... I've been using this site for TWO MONTHS and it's only now that I'm seeing this.
Thanks for pointing it out!