Ch. 5 (Dust)
“...And then a bunch of gumdrops and lollipops started dancing around and singing about how it's hard to tell what time it is underwater,” Pinkie Pie was saying loudly. “And I'm not sure how, but then I ended up inside my own mouth! My teeth were huge! And they had windows! Isn't that funny?”
I shook my head slowly. “Even your dreams are weird, Pinkie.”
“And yours are most helpful, Cog,” Rarity said quietly, then the quill that she was levitating paused in its scribbling. “Would you mind telling us how it went one more time? I want to make sure that I have all the details right.”
I clamped my front hooves on either side of a small pink teacup (Pinkie's bags had had a complete tea set inside, naturally) and brought it to my lips before answering. The hot tea tasted like cinnamon and nutmeg, and the strong brew helped me wake up a little. It's not coffee, but it'll do, I thought wistfully.
“I was just standing around and a unicorn showed up,” I said, careful to adhere to my latest lie. “She said that she was the Mystic Mare, then told me the clue. 'To discover the woeful prison of your friends,' and that's it. Then I woke up.”
“Hmmm...” Rarity muttered thoughtfully as I took another sip of über-addictive tea. “What did this unicorn look like? Did you recognize her?”
“No,” I said, thinking fast to make up an answer for these questions. “I've never seen her before. She was...green, with white hair. Kinda short, hourglass cutie mark.” It was a little odd imagining Minty as a mare, but it at least gave me a semi-decent mental image to reference.
“Where were you when this happened?” Fluttershy asked timidly as she picked up her teacup.
“I was right here!” I said quickly. “I didn't go anywhere! It was a dream, remember?”
“She means where you were in the dream, silly!” Pinkie said with a giggle.
“Oh,” I muttered and gave myself a mental kick for panicking like that. “Right. It was dark, so I couldn't see anything.”
The mares all looked a little disappointed at that, but didn't they ask anything else. Rarity wrote out a few more lines, then set the quill aside. With another spell she made the piece of paper roll itself up, then it disappeared in a flash of white light.
For a few minutes, the others just talked among themselves while I quietly sipped my tea and thought. I really didn't like lying to them, and the way that they readily believed my half-baked explanations made me feel even worse. But the alternative was revealing that I had snuck out to meet with Trixie. That could only lead to more questions, which in turn would require either admitting that I had lied to them or lying some more.
If you dig yourself in too deep, you eventually wind up in Hell, I brooded.
My thoughts were interrupted by a flash of purple light and a muffled scream from Rarity. I whipped my head up to find out what was wrong and saw that she had her hooves firmly clamped over her nose. Her eyes were tearing up in pain.
“What happened?” I asked as I got to my feet. Pinkie and Fluttershy also looked confused.
“G-get it out!” Rarity gasped and pulled one hoof away.
“What,” I said, so baffled at what I saw that it wasn't even a question. Fluttershy looked nauseous and her face grew a sickly greenish tinge. Pinkie tried unsuccessfully to stifle her laughter.
There was a scroll of paper sticking out of Rarity's nostril. No, that's not some kind of euphemism—it was literally a piece of paper. And it was stuck really far up her nose. That's not something you see every day.
“Don't just stand there, help me!” she yelled when none of us did anything.
“Does it hurt?” Fluttershy asked gingerly.
“Of course it hurts! Pull it out! I don't care what it is, just get it out!”
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said with a wide grin as she gripped the end of the paper with both hooves. “Make a wish!”
With a quick tug, Pinkie ripped the scroll right out. Rarity gave a loud yelp of pain and immediately shoved her hoof up to her nose again. Her horn glowed and a small white towel levitated out of the bathroom.
“Are you alright?” Fluttershy asked gently. She looked more worried than disgusted now.
“I'll be alright,” Rarity said with a suppressed whimper as she pressed the towel to her nostril. Her eyes were still extremely moist. “A slight papercut, that's all. What is that thing, anyway?”
Pinkie dramatically unrolled the paper and stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she read over its contents. “It's a letter from Twilight. She wants...blah blah blah...found out...blah blah blah....What does 'imperative' mean?”
“Let me see that!” Rarity snapped irritably as she levitated the scroll out of Pinkie's grip. Her eyes moved quickly across the page. “She's asking us to meet up with her and the others in Appleloosa. No reason why, but it seems important.”
“Maybe they found the second clue,” I suggested hopefully.
“Perhaps,” Rarity allowed as she pulled the towel away from her snout. I noticed a small spot of blood in the center of the white cloth, but her cut was clearly superficial. “I suppose we'd best trot out to the main station and catch the next train out.”
* * * * *
It's not easy being an afro salesman. Business is always slow, especially when all of your customers prefer to wear dreadlocks or cornrows. Most days are evenly divided between being bored and watching the geese pedal their bicycles along the edge of the toxic waste dump in the middle of the town square.
Since the geese had all fallen into the radioactive sludge and mutated into fire-breathing lizards hours ago, I was bored. The surrounding buildings were all slowly burning to the ground, but I didn't care as long as my afro cart was still intact. The ash was a little irritating, but daisies were invented for a reason.
I disinterestedly turned my eyes upward and frowned as seashells and shoelaces started to fall out of the lime-green clouds of lint. That earned a grumble from my nipples. If I didn't get any customers soon, I would have to pack up and go home before it started raining piano keys. Piano keys are the worst.
“'SCUSE ME, LASSIE!” someone politely shouted into my ear.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I shouted back at an equally-friendly volume.
“I WANNA BUY AN AFRO, YO!” the guy yelled excitedly. He was a shark with gold chains hanging from his gills and seven orange pupils in all three eyes. Each of his pointy teeth was topped with a tasteful monocle.
“OKAY!” I shrieked back and pulled a neon blue afro off one of the racks behind me. “HOW'S THIS?”
“I LIKE IT!” the shark shouted. “HOW MUCH? WHIPLASH MCBREEZY!”
“SIX FUCKTONS OF CASH! FUCKIN' A!”
As the shark left with his stylin' new afro, I felt a little better. A good sale for a nice profit. Tonight I would eat like a king! No more caviar and lobster foie gras for me—stupid fucking peasant food. In-N-Out is where it's at!
I absentmindedly wondered if I should order the cheeseburger milkshake or the synthetic silicon motherboard, and almost didn't notice as the first piano key fell out of the sky. That completely ruined my mood.
“FUCKIN' PIANO KEYS,” I growled under my breath as I packed up my afros and got ready to leave. With any luck, my house would be full of crickets and Poseidon wouldn't demand the rent money for a few more days.
The piano keys started falling faster and there were more of them. They started landing all around me and laughed evilly at me, the afro salesman. Several of them pulled out knives and other pointy things.
“gimme yer wallet,” one of them yelled thunderously as it waved a corkscrew at my face. Even through the thick smoke, I could tell that he was just looking for an excuse to shove it in my rectum.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” I said calmly and rolled my eyes. Those fucking piano keys always want my fucking wallet and my fucking money and my fucking shoes and my fucking gallstones and my fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck GOOSE! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!—
“Cog? Cog?”
“Huh? What?” I muttered blearily. Something was gently poking my side and I drew away from it slightly. I picked up my glasses from where I'd set them on the table in front of me.
As my surroundings became clearer, I could feel the floor under me bouncing and shaking slightly. It took me a moment to remember boarding the train to Appleloosa. The window on my immediate right showed a barren, dusty landscape rushing past, which was accompanied by distant clanging and clacking as the train rolled along. To my left was a troubled-looking Fluttershy, who had been prodding me.
“Is everything alright?” I asked, surprised by the amount of concern on her face. “Is something going on?”
“Oh, no, i-it's...it's just...” she stammered as usual and offered an apologetic smile. “I-I heard you t-talking in your sl-sleep. W-were you having a bad dream?”
“No, I'm...I'm fine,” I said quickly and tried to force that bizarre dream out of my head. The window rattled in its frame and the train rocked violently from side to side as it hit an uneven bit of railing.
I noticed that my front hooves were shaking slightly. I really need a smoke, I realized and pressed my quivering stubs against the table until they held still. Fluttershy definitely noticed and raised an eyebrow.
“A-are you sure?” she asked gently. “You were saying something about p-piano keys and fuc—”
“I'm fine!” I insisted with just a hint of anger, then forced myself to relent. “Sorry. Look, I appreciate that you care, but don't worry about me. Where are the others, by the way?”
“They're in the next car over. Rarity asked me to check on you and to bring you this.”
The yellow pegasus reached her head to the trembling floor and picked up a small wooden bowl in her teeth. She set it down on the table in front of me with a small, encouraging smile. In the bowl was a colorful fruit salad.
I groaned at the sight of the food. It's not that I wasn't hungry; I just would have appreciated a cigarette infinitely more. And a shot of vodka or twelve. It's always five o'clock somewhere, right?
Fluttershy nudged the bowl toward me. “Eat,” she said with a bit of force, and her smile turned itself upside down.
“When are you girls gonna stop forcing stuff down my throat?” I asked irritably.
“When we can't see your ribs anymore,” she said as she settled herself down on the chair across the table from me. “You look like you haven't been able to feed yourself properly. Is it hard making a living as a tinker?”
It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about. It can be challenging to remember even the simplest lies and keep your story consistent when the ones who you're trying to mislead insist on asking questions.
“It can be,” I said, carefully choosing my words to reach the barest explanation. “There's times when you don't make much of a profit, and I've been going through one of those recently.”
I dipped my mouth to the bowl and chomped down on a peach slice before Fluttershy could ask anything else. Instead of leaving me alone to eat in peace like I'd hoped, she perked up and her blue eyes softened.
“I-I've been thinking,” she mumbled and tapped her hooves together. “You said you live in Fillydelphia, right?”
I nodded, not sure where she was going with this.
“W-well, after this is over...I mean, after we rescue the Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Spike, m-maybe we could...I-I mean, Fillydelphia's not that far away f-from Ponyville...” Her voice trailed off uncertainly.
“I haven't thought that far ahead,” I answered truthfully. “Let's just focus on beating Discord for the time being, then worry about that later.”
“Oh,” she said and dropped her eyes. “Yes. I-I guess we should do that. Eat up, I think we're going to be arriving soon.”
Fluttershy stood and trotted off to the door at the end of the deserted car. The entire train was almost empty except for the four of us, the attendants, and a few other passengers who kept to themselves. Apparently Appleloosa wasn't a popular destination for Manehattanites.
I took another mouthful of the fruit salad and looked out the window as I chewed. Rocks, dust, cacti, some dry shrubs, more rocks, and a whole lot of nothing whipped past. There were absolutely no signs of civilization anywhere.
My frown deepened as I thought about what Fluttershy had tried to say. I really hadn't considered what would happen after we finished our quest, and I was drawing a blank now that I took the time to mull it over. It wasn't that I had many options to choose from, but I didn't really like any of them.
On the one hoof, I could continue with my bluff and head for Fillydelphia and try to start a new life again (again). Hell, I could think of a few things to invent that would sell well enough to warrant an early retirement, to say nothing of the positive changes that they would have on Equestria as a whole.
But I didn't want to abandon my friends, and they would know that something was up if I tried to stay in Ponyville with them. That would bring a lot of hard questions that could only lead to more lies. I was already having enough trouble with that as it was.
My other option was to come clean and tell them who I really was. But I had already dismissed that notion and didn't reconsider it for long. The back of my mind repeatedly whispered that they could probably find it within themselves to forgive me and would likely welcome me back with gladness, but the rest of my mind vehemently insisted that there was no way to tell for sure.
I reminded myself that I still had absolutely no idea how the ponies really felt about me. They had spoken exactly zero words about the human that they had befriended, and I couldn't exactly start interrogating them without raising a few red flags. I'll have to be careful, I told myself unnecessarily.
I resolved to ask a few discreet questions later. If I could gather some information as Cog to find out what they thought of Jesse, it would make my decision that much easier. But for the moment, I just sat there and stared out the window.
* * * * *
About twenty minutes later, the train slowly ground to a halt at Appleloosa's small station. Since the four of us didn't have any luggage other than a few light saddlebags, we were the first ones to get off and enter the frontier town.
One thing that is worth noting was that the train wasn't pulled along the tracks by ponies; it used an enchanted steam engine. As such, it had made the long journey in a fraction of the time that the old method would have taken. I couldn't help but feel a touch of pride that the ponies had taken a semi-working prototype and utilized it in such an effective and worthwhile fashion.
It was just after two o'clock in the afternoon when we stepped off the train, and doing that felt like I was getting pimp-slapped by a fat guy. Who had a fever. And was also on fire. It was hot, is what I mean to say. Really hot.
“Ugh, this air is going to dry out my mane!” Rarity complained as she held up a hoof to get the sun out of her eyes.
“Oooh, I know what to do!” Pinkie Pie said happily, then disappeared in a flash of pink. She was immediately back with a big wooden barrel clutched in her hooves.
“What are you—” Rarity tried to ask, but was silenced as Pinkie turned the barrel over and dumped a bunch of water on her head with a loud splash.
“There you go! That'll keep your hair nice and wet!” Pinkie said with a grin.
“That's not what I had in mind,” Rarity muttered while she glared at the pink pony. Her once-curly mane was completely ruined and hung from her head like a soaked rag.
“Hey there!” came a friendly voice from off to our left. “Welcome ta Aaaaaappleloosa!”
“Braeburn!” Pinkie squealed with delight.
“Hi, Pinkie Pie!” said the grinning orange-yellow earth pony. He was wearing a brown vest and the stetson on his head was noticeably bigger than Applejack's.
“It's nice to see you again,” mumbled Fluttershy. She didn't look overly enthusiastic.
“Likewise, Fluttershy. Hello, Miss Rarity, how've ya been?”
“Well enough,” Rarity said as she gingerly touched her wet hair. “Now, if you would be so kind—”
“An' who's this?” Braeburn asked as he fixed his green eyes on me. “Ah don' 'member seein' this friend o' yours b'fore!”
“I'm Cog, bu—”
“Nice ta meet ya, Cog!” He was suddenly shaking my hoof like his life depended on it. “Is this yer firs' time in Appleloosa? C'mon, I'll give ya th' grand tour! We build this here town 'bout four years ago—”
“Hold on, Braeburn,” Rarity said seriously. “I'm terribly sorry, but we need to find the others. Where's Applejack? It's important.”
“Aw, can't it wait?” he asked with a frown. “It won' take long ta show yer friend ever'thin'.”
Rarity just shook her head, which threw a few small water droplets in every direction.
His ears drooped in disappointment. “Well, maybe we can do it later. C'mon, mah cousin an' the other two're stayin' at th' Copper Core. Follow me.”
As we walked down the dusty road and past the Old-West-style buildings, Braeburn pointed out some of the sights of Appleloosa. The town had grown significantly since I had first seen it on my computer screen so long ago, but it still had that underlying feeling of being on the very edge of the maps.
All of the ponies in sight plodded along at a much more relaxed pace than the residents of Manehattan had. Quite a few were just standing around and talking to one another without a care in the world. Most of them wore hats or bonnets to protect their heads from the blistering sun. A few of the mares also held parasols or waved fans to cool themselves off.
“This here's th' main bank,” Braeburn was saying proudly as we passed a blocky brick building. “An' there's th' very first well tha' we dug when we got th' town started. If ya look close over that-a-way, y'all can see th' ol' jailhouse. We don' use it much, but tha' don' mean we ain't prepared ta throw yer plot b'hind them bars if ya start any trouble, hear?” He directed the last part at me, but his smile made it clear that he was just joking.
“Right,” I said anyway.
“An' heeeere's the Copper Core!” he finished and pointed with a flourish at a building with a hanging sign that showed a burnished metallic apple core.
At first glance, the Copper Core looked like a saloon crossed with a hotel. As we stepped through the swinging doors (the type that you see in every Western movie that only cover half the doorway), we found out that that's exactly what it was. Lots of tables surrounded by cushions had been set up to serve customers, and every single one was occupied by ponies who had fled from the sun and drank various beverages out of large glass mugs. Behind the bar and above a row of tapped barrels was a board that held numbered keys, obviously meant for rentable rooms.
A few of the patrons turned to see who the newcomers were, but they all went right back to their conversations a moment later. I dimly wondered if they had sporadic duels with outlaws in Appleloosa like they do in any decent Western. Probably not, I decided.
“There they are! Hi, Dashie!” Pinkie shouted as she launched herself into the air toward the right-hand (or right-hoof, I guess) corner.
Ca-rack!
As the dust cleared from the impact, it became clear that the Copper Core's owner would need to buy a new table and a few new mugs. But Pinkie was too busy strangling Rainbow Dash with a bear hug to notice or care.
“Oh, Dashie, I missed you!” she squealed, oblivious to Rainbow's frantic attempts to break out of her grip. The other customers just stared, their drinks temporarily forgotten.
“Pinkie Pie, let her go!” Twilight yelled as Rainbow's eyes bulged out of their sockets. She made her horn glow, and suddenly Pinkie's hooves snapped into the air in opposite directions. Rainbow gasped for breath as she was released.
“Well, uh, I'd best let ya'll go see yer friends,” Braeburn said as he backed out through the swinging half-doors. “Find me once yer free ta get that tour, Cog.”
“Right,” I muttered again as I followed Rarity and Fluttershy to where the others were. The patrons all looked on as we passed, then slowly returned their attention to whatever they had been doing before the interruption.
Applejack snorted as we came closer and she saw Rarity's limp mane. “Ya get a new haircut in Manehattan? Quite an improvement, if ya ask me.”
“Say one more word about it and you'll have to pick your teeth out of the dust!” Rarity snapped.
Applejack blinked a few times at the uncharacteristic response. “Sorry, I didn' mean—”
“Forget about it,” Rarity spat bitterly. “I'll fix it later. Now, why did you tell us to come here? And by the way, your spell didn't work right.”
“Did my note end up inside your nose?” Twilight asked seriously, then sighed when the other unicorn nodded. “Sorry about that, I'm not sure what happened. Maybe I skipped a line in my book or something. If it makes you feel any better, your letter did the same thing to me.”
“It doesn't,” Rarity assured her.
Twilight cleared her throat. “Well, anyway. You were right, Cog, there is a clue around here. We even found out where it is, but we'll need your help to get to it.”
“And I still say it's a bad idea!” Rainbow broke in loudly.
“What do you mean?” I asked the purple unicorn, purposefully ignoring that comment.
“Follow me,” Twilight said as she began walking to the door. “The buffaloes will explain it better than I can.”
* * * * *
It took about forty minutes of walking through the wilderness to reach the buffalo camp. That wasn't nearly as long as I'd expected, but the heat and the rocky ground made it pretty damn uncomfortable for each step of the way. At least I wasn't holding the others back anymore.
The camp consisted of two dozen canvas teepees that were set up with no clear pattern. Small firepits, logs, and a few wooden crates were also strewn about randomly. All of the nearby vegetation had been cleared away, probably to keep any accidental fires from spreading.
The buffaloes who stood guard or lounged around were all bulky masses of muscle, horns, and fur. They were mostly shades of brown, but there were a couple of black ones as well. Many of them had a feather or two hanging from their heads, and some had beaded braids below their ears. Every one of them glared at us distrustfully as we entered their territory.
“W-why are they so angry?” Fluttershy asked nervously as one of the larger buffaloes leered at her.
“They've been havin' trouble with Appleloosa again lately,” Applejack answered in a whisper. “Somethin' 'bout tradin' o' somethin', Ah wasn' really listenin'.”
“I was,” Twilight muttered. “The buffaloes say that the last batch of apple cider that they bought was watered down, and the ponies in Appleloosa say that they're wrong. But the buffaloes drank all the cider anyway, so there's no way to know who's telling the truth anymore.”
“Why would they do that?” Pinkie asked, her perpetual smile definitely out of place amid the glowering and suspicion. “Who waters down perfectly good cider?”
“Ponies who want to rip us off,” growled the nearest buffalo, who had a dark tan hide and beady black eyes. “I tasted it myself, and it was nowhere near as good as the previous shipment!”
“Rockhorn! Stop badgering them!” came a female voice. The speaker was a orange buffalo with a puff of lighter hair on her head. She was smaller and more petite proportionately than the others in the camp. A purple-and-white headband held three feathers that stuck straight up.
“Hello again, Little Strongheart,” Twilight said with a trace of a smile. “As you can see, we've brought him.”
Stongheart looked me over quickly and frowned. “Are you sure he's the one you want? He's thinner than a rail.”
“Just 'cause I'm skinny doesn't make me deaf, you know,” I said irritably. “And would it kill anyone to explain what we're doing here?”
The buffalo raised her eyebrow. “Follow me, please. Chief Thunderhooves and the Matriarch will answer all of your questions.”
More glares followed us as we made our way to the center of the camp. The very air bristled with hostility and anger. It was clear that more than a contested batch of apple cider had turned the buffaloes against the Appleloosans.
“Here we are,” Little Strongheart muttered as she drew back the flap of the biggest teepee. It was decorated with crude pictures of mountains and rivers surrounded by trees, which seemed like an odd choice in the middle of a desert.
The inside of the tent was lit by a small fire, which made the already-hot air almost unbreathable. A giant dark brown buffalo was sitting on a log and staring intently at the flames. He wore a headdress of feathers that were bigger than any of the other buffaloes'. He didn't seem to notice our arrival.
“Chief?” Strongheart asked quietly. He didn't react.
“Chief Thunderhooves!” Rainbow Dash called loudly.
The chief flinched and turned his massive head toward us. He blinked a few times before his eyes focused properly. “Oh! So you've returned. Is this the one of whom you spoke?”
“He is,” Twilight said and pulled me forward. The chief peered at me intently.
“Hmmm. I was expecting...a fuller figure.”
I rolled my eyes. “I'm too damn skinny, I get it already! Now would someone please tell me what's going on?”
“Very well.” Thunderhooves drew himself up and took a deep breath. “I will explain all. What is your name, stallion?”
“Cog.”
“Well, Cog, your friends came to us yesterday seeking a sign of sorts. Some 'clue' that they wish to find. We know where it is, but cannot allow them to see it.”
“And why not?” Rarity asked. Her mane had dried out during the walk to the camp, and it now stuck up in awkward directions.
“Because of where it is,” the chief rumbled patiently. “A strange message appeared recently on our most sacred totem within our most sacred cave, which none but a member of our tribe may enter. Never have we allowed another to go inside, and to break that law now would dishonor every generation of our history. My father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and—”
“We get the idea,” Little Strongheart interrupted before he really got going with it.
“Well, if we can't go inside, can't one of you just tell us what the clue is or write it down for us?” I asked. That seemed like a reasonable solution.
“No record of things that are written on the totem is allowed to leave the cave,” Thunderhooves said gruffly. “And they are not to be spoken of, either. Even new additions that our own did not put on it.”
I frowned deeper. “Then...where does that leave us? And what does this have to do with me?”
“If we want to read the message, we need a member of the tribe to do it,” Twilight said.
“I got that part. So what do we do about it?”
“Moreover, it has to be one of us who's one of the buffalo,” she continued, as if I hadn't said anything. “That's where you come in.”
“I don't follow,” I said with a sigh of frustration. “Just spit it out, what are you thinking?”
“I told ya it's a bad idea,” Rainbow muttered loudly.
“Zip it,” Twilight tersely snapped at her, then returned her attention to me. “We talked with the buffaloes for a long time yesterday. It took every bit of goodwill that they have toward us, but they've agreed to invoke one of their rites, which will allow a pony to become a member of their tribe. They haven't done it in decades and they didn't say what it entails, but we need you to go through with it.”
It took a full ten seconds for what she'd said to fully register in my brain. “You're shitting me, right?” I asked in disbelief.
“I told ya he wouldn't do it.”
“Applejack, would you kindly shut her up?”
“With pleasure, Twi'.”
Four seconds of violent struggling later, Rainbow Dash was hogtied with a rope and gagged with an apple, both of which had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She struggled futilely against her bonds and glared powerlessly at all of us.
“Now then,” Twilight turned back to me yet again once that was taken care of. “Cog, we need your help with this.”
“Why me? Why can't one of you do it? Or somepony from Appleloosa?” I wasn't trying to back out exactly—I was just surprised that they hadn't considered those choices first.
“Our relations with that town have been very strained as of late,” the chief thundered darkly. “They've cheated us and traded inferior products when we need them the most. We bought tarps from those...Appleloosans”—he practically spat the word out of his mouth—“five months ago to protect our food stores from the yearly rain, but the water soaked right through! When we confronted them about it, they had the nerve to suggest that we'd used them wrong!” His eyes blazed and he snorted with fury.
“Calm down, Chief,” Little Strongheart said soothingly as she laid a gentle hoof on his massive shoulder, then returned her attention to us. “What he means to say is that the rite is intended to symbolize harmony between our tribe and the individual. But there is no harmony between us and Appleloosa at the moment, so we can't allow one of them to join us.”
“Wasn't anypony listening to me the last time we were here?” Pinkie Pie asked with a touch of irritation. “What did I tell you all? You gotta share, you gotta—”
“If you start singing, the deal's off!” Thunderhooves growled before she could get into it.
“AJ...” Twilight began.
“Way ahead o' ya.” Applejack already had Pinkie tied up next to Rainbow Dash. The pink pony held still, totally content to just lay there and suck the juice out of the apple that was shoved into her mouth.
A second of silence later, Little Strongheart continued from where she'd left off. “And as for why one of these mares haven't offered to undertake our rite herself, even though we have no ill will toward any of them, the ritual for accepting female members is completely different. It takes an entire month to complete, whereas you could be a tribe member by this time tomorrow.”
“An' Ah'd sure hate fer mah sis ta be left wit' Discord fer a whole extra month,” Applejack growled in my general direction. "'Specially in whatever th' hay he considers 'woeful'."
“Cog, will you do this for us?” Twilight asked seriously. “I realize that you've already done a lot to help and we haven't know each other for very long, but we can't do this without you.”
“Whatever this 'rite' of theirs is, I'm certain that you will be able to persevere through it,” Rarity added softly. “We only met you yesterday morning, but I fully believe that we can rescue my sister with your help. Can you find it in your heart to assist us in this matter?”
I had a sudden flashback to the previous day. I was on the torch of the Statue of Tranquility just after discovering Discord's first clue. The other ponies retreated to where I was. The pegasus guards were closing in and Pinkie was searching for her flashbang.
“Cog, I know that we've only just met, but do you trust me?” Rarity asked as she fixed her bright blue eyes on my brown ones.
And now she was putting her trust in me. Well, I couldn't say no to that.
I clenched my teeth and nodded. “Alright. What do I have to do?”
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Yes, I most certainly did. If I hadn't, the very fabric of reality itself would have become unraveled. It was necessary in the most fundamental sense of the word
56130
If by "a scumbag ending" you mean "a sudden, nonsensical plot twist that is seemingly invalidates everything that was written before," then no. As a comment on the first story pointed out, you can only use that plot device once per storyline. There is still plenty of nonsense to come before the final chapter (including no less than fifty ultra-graphic lesbian sex scenes, and also zombies), but the ending itself will be far more predictable
As an aside, I actually wrote out that part with the wet mane some time before Sisterhooves Social aired. Interesting how life goes sometimes
MFW YAY NEW CHAPTER!
MFW I finish reading the chapter.
"You have these all written out already and are just pacing them to troll us. Smart man.
Also for some reason a felt like Fluttershy kind of liked Cog, but it's probably just her being kind and wanting him to have friends.
AAAAAAGHHHHHHHH MOARRRR
TAKE MY STARS. TAKE THEM ALL. 
(including no less than fifty ultra- graphic lesbian sex scenes, and also zombies),
i am torn
one half of me wants to kill you
the other half wants to congradulate you for makin me want to kill you
either way, you do this. your dead ( on the bright side youll die knowing you write good stories)
i am joking ya know.
Hah...wat? No srsly, wat.
Sweet!! Keep it up!!
NEW CHAPTER! AWESOME!
Also, stop being
and release the next chapter!
Yyyytyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyytyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaqqsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajhhhhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaqqqqaaaaaaa
*dream sequence*
The term 'eccentric genius' comes to mind.
61051
Yeah, that was quite of what I meant. Anyway, yay for lesbian and zombies, :P
Keep this up, even if the previous story's ending left me a bit sad, I can't say it wasn't an awesome story, well written and all. Congratulations :D
At the dream sequence i was like: "Damn. LSD is one hell of a drug!
interesting
61092
I have a few more chapters that are mostly done, but they all still need the final layer of polish before I upload them. That part takes quite a lot of time and energy, you know.
Also, are you really surprised that Fluttershy is acting this way? She wields the Element of Kindness and takes care of animals for a living, so I imagine that she would gladly extend a helping hoof to a pony who's clearly unhealthy and stuck in an uncomfortable situation. But that's just me.
61171
Cool, I'll take your stars. I'm saving up as many stars as I can so I can make a giant constellation of myself
61468
)
That's what she said!
(Sorry, I couldn't help myself
61523
At the term "eccentric genius," Nikola Tesla comes to mind
62005
Remember, kids: Don't do drugs. Just have dreams that are fucked up beyond all reason instead
62821 I wasn't surprised, I just have a habit of reading into things way too much. I have a very over active imagination.
The dreams remind me of a Rubberfruit video.
Hey! It's been two updateless weeks! What are you waiting for? WRITE!
Comeon! Im getting bored watching this page every day when i get home from school! RELEASE PLZ
my patience doth wear thin. however my anticipation mounts ever greater.
Entire month to complete.
mating?
Ah gotta say this is one of my all time favorite stories!
