Ch. 4 (Mystic)
It didn't take long to climb up the stairs and get back to the surface. Since Rarity was still tired from all the magic that she'd used, I was carrying her on my back. It felt fitting, considering that she'd done the same for me after I'd broken my leg all those years before, but of course I couldn't mention that.
“I do hope that we can find some place to wash up,” she griped and tried to wipe away some of the slime that stained her coat. Unsurprisingly, that didn't help at all.
I ignored her complaining and pushed open the door at the top of the stairs. That brought us outside and we emerged from a small brick pylon that seemed to serve no purpose other than to access the drainpipe that we'd come from. I suppose the ponies couldn't use manholes because they don't have fingers to climb ladders with.
“Ahhh, fresh air,” Fluttershy sighed in relief and took a deep breath.
The sun was low enough in the sky that the tall buildings of Manehattan blocked it from view. The shadows brought on a premature darkness, which was mostly kept in check by the numerous streetlamps and brightly lit windows. Still, it didn't seem like a good idea to be outside when the night truly began. Most of the pedestrians had disappeared, and the few that were still in sight hurried on their way.
“I wonder if there's a cheap hotel around here,” I muttered to myself and looked around. I didn't recognize any of the buildings surrounding us; if we'd been here earlier, I didn't remember it at all.
“There's a good one over this way,” Pinkie said brightly and began bouncing down the street to the left. “I stayed there last time I was here.”
I glanced to Fluttershy and Rarity, who both shrugged. We trudged onward.
While I trotted after the pink pony, I pondered the clue that we'd found on the Statue of Tranquility. Consult the mystic mare...consult the mystic mare....What the hell does that mean? I asked myself over and over, but the answer didn't come.
I frowned and thought some more as I walked on. Something about that clue just wasn't right. It seemed...well, it was too straightforward. I had no idea who or what the “mystic mare” was, but if we were to talk to her/it, that would be the end of it. If there were supposed to be four clues to follow, why would the first one give us such concise and definite directions?
This doesn't make any sense, I said to myself. Big surprise there.
The side of one of the buildings that we walked by was completely plastered with posters and fliers. Most were just advertisements for stores, such as Chrysanthemum's Flower Shop and Pinhead's Acupuncture Treatments, none of which looked very interesting. There was also some garage band called The Bed Cot Filly Papers looking for a drummer, but that flier didn't catch my attention for more than a few seconds either.
Just as I was about to dismiss the whole wall as a massive waste of paper, the massive blue poster in the very center made me stop right in my tracks and stare.
COME ONE, COME ALL!
WITNESS UNIMAGINABLE FEATS: THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!!
WATCH IN AWE AND TREMBLE IN REVERENCE!!!
THE INCREDIBLE AND OMNIPOTENT TRIXIE!!!!
This week only at the Prestige Theater
Under the giant letters and excessive exclamation marks was a picture of a blue unicorn with magenta eyes and a pale silvery-blue mane. Her purple cape billowed around her as she levitated an enormous hacksaw over a terrified-looking pony who was trapped up to his neck in a wooden box, obviously with the intent of cutting him in half. Despite her victim's frozen scream of fright, Trixie was looking straight out of the poster with that smug grin that I remembered so well.
“Cog?” Rarity muttered tiredly from my back, which dragged me back to the present.
“Huh? Oh, right.” I realized that I'd completely stopped to ogle the poster. I started walking again toward the impatiently waiting Pinkie. I cast another look at Trixie's painted smile as I passed.
Just as full of herself as ever, I thought to myself, but I could feel the gears in my head whirling around in a frenzy. If I was putting the pieces of the puzzle together right, I knew exactly what I needed to do next.
As I plodded along, I debated whether to tell them about what was going through my mind or not. If I did, they might either confirm or disperse my hunch, but then they would insist on coming with me when I talked to Trixie. On the other hoof, if I didn't tell them and they didn't come along...
I decided right then to keep quiet. I'll just have to find some excuse to slip away, I told myself and resolved to do so when the opportunity presented itself. After we got a place to stay, of course.
We followed Pinkie's hopping trail to a small family-operated hotel a few blocks away from the poster. The owner was a bulky orange unicorn stallion who gave us more than one suspicious look for showing up covered in muck, but he had the decency to keep his misgivings to himself. After a little haggling over the price—Pinkie pulled a small pouch of bits out of her saddlebag to pay for it—he handed over our room key.
The room was fairly neat and clean, if not very big or fancy. But that was hardly surprising, considering that it cost only twenty bits for the night. The first thing that I noticed was that there were only two beds and few spare cushions.
Guess that means I get the floor, I grumbled to myself as Rarity climbed off my back and headed for the attached bathroom to get cleaned up.
* * * * *
After we all had a chance to take a quick bath and wash the slime off, we ate a small dinner that consisted entirely of sweets and pastries that Pinkie pulled out of her bag (I seriously have no idea how she kept so much stuff in there or how it didn't fall out, so don't ask). My attempt to eat this time was much more successful than my fight with the cupcake in the hot air balloon. My control over my hooves and mouth had grown significantly in the past few hours.
Two other things had also grown significantly: my need for cigarettes and my craving for alcohol. I'm not one of those guys who says “I can quit anytime I want” or other bullshit excuses like that—I know when I'm addicted to something. But admitting that you have a problem doesn't make it go away.
“Cog?” Fluttershy nervously asked as she finished her last cookie.
“What?” I asked back and tried to push away the urge to destroy my lungs and liver.
“Well...y-you see, it's...it's just that...I-I mean, we...” she paused and looked to the others for support, but they didn't seem to know where she was going with this. “W-what I mean to say is...we...we r-really don't know a lot about you, s-since we met you only this m-morning. I-I was just wondering, i-if it's alright...c-co-couldyoumaybetellusalittlemoreaboutyourself?” she finished quickly, as if speaking faster would prevent me from going on a murderous rampage or something.
Rarity slowly nodded in agreement. “I suppose we should all do a bit of personal sharing, actually. We never did get around to proper introductions.”
“Oooh, oooh, I wanna go first!” Pinkie said excitedly. “I'm Pinkie Pie, and I throw parties! Lots of parties! I like cupcakes, bungee jumping, dancing, pranks, ice skating, cupcakes, telling jokes, singing, bobsledding, cupcakes, playing my kazoo, cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes, cupcakes, and...and...uh...” She paused and looked really confused for a moment.
“What was the last one?” she muttered to herself and rubbed at her chin thoughtfully. Then she perked right back up with an even bigger grin. “Oh, I remember now! Cupcakes! I love cupcakes!”
“Erm...yes,” Rarity said quietly. “We gathered that, darling. Anyway, I happen to be the owner of Ponyville's finest dress boutique. I've designed and created outfits for quite a few celebrities.” She said that last part with quite a bit of pride.
“I-I take care of animals,” Fluttershy said hesitantly. She didn't elaborate and the three of them looked at me expectantly.
Luckily, I'd spent some time during the balloon ride planning how to handle these questions. If you're going to make up a whole new identity for yourself, you need to be ready for a little scrutiny. A little preparation goes a long way.
“There's not a whole lot to say, really. I'm just a tinker from Fillydelphia, nopony important." The simplest lies are the easiest ones to remember. Adding too many details just makes it easier to screw up later on.
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Just a tinker? Then why did Discord insist on making us bring you with us? Not that I'm complaining!” she amended herself quickly. “I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but....I mean, if it weren't for you, we might not have ever found the first clue.”
"Maybe that's why," Fluttershy offered slowly. "Maybe he set up the clues in such a way that only Cog can find them."
I shrugged. “I dunno what he was thinking. Does he usually have a reason for what he does?” Again I shifted the focus away from myself.
“Not really,” Rarity admitted with a frown. “His actions didn't make a lot of sense the last time he was free. But he didn't resort to ponynapping back then, either. Why would he take my sister away like that? And how did he capture her in the first place?”
“He told her that he'd captured you, actually,” I explained, turning back to the truth for the moment. “He made it look like he was holding you, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash hostage. Then he caught her and the others when they tried to rescue you and sent me to Ponyville.” It would definitely be best to not elaborate on what my role had been in that.
“What?” her eyes blazed with sudden anger. “The nerve! Of all the underhanded tricks...”
“We'll get them back!” Fluttershy said quickly to calm her down. “We'll beat Discord and then we can all go back to Ponyville together. Isn't that right, Pinkie Pie? Pinkie?”
Pinkie was flat on her back and fast asleep. That at least explained why she hadn't said anything recently.
“I can't believe it,” Rarity muttered venomously to herself as she levitated the pink pony into one of the beds and tucked her in. “To make her think that she's doing something to help and then use her as bait...”
“We'll get her back,” I echoed Fluttershy. “We just need to work out the rest of the clues and find out where Discord's keeping her. I wonder how the others are doing in Appleloosa.” That was yet another deliberate action on my part, this time to draw her attention away from Discord and toward her other friends. I seem to have a knack for that kind of thing.
“I'll write Twilight a letter in the morning,” Rarity said, her voice heavy with fatigue. “She taught me a spell to send messages right to her on the chance that we would be separated and have to communicate, just like this. I imagine that was a part of her decision to send me here with you. But first, we should all get a good night's sleep.”
* * * * *
I had to wait for about two hours before I was absolutely sure that all three mares were asleep. Pinkie Pie was obviously already out like a light, but Rarity tossed and turned and muttered to herself for a while before finally losing consciousness. Conversely, Fluttershy was so still and quiet that I couldn't detect any change from her at all.
Fluttershy was sharing Pinkie's bed and Rarity had the other one all to herself, naturally. I had only had a single lumpy cushion to lie down on and no blanket, but I didn't really mind the discomfort. Accidentally falling asleep while waiting for them to drift off would have been disastrous.
After keeping still and listening to their even breathing for a few minutes, I slowly got to my hooves. I carefully crossed the dark room and slipped out the door, taking extreme care to not lock myself out.
Once I got outside our room, I made my way to the hotel's abandoned lobby. The wide mahogany desk there had a small stack of maps for tourists, complete with common destinations clearly marked. The Prestige Theater was only a few streets away, as it happened, and I let myself out through the front door.
The night air outside was a little chilly and the wind blew scraps of litter down the deserted street. The quarter-full moon was partially obscured by a thin layer of clouds, and the city lights made it impossible to see any stars. There were still a few ponies in sight who walked along, probably to some fancy club or something like that, but the entire place still felt cold and lifeless.
I hurried down the street in the theater's direction. I wanted to get it all over with and sneak back before the others had a chance to wake up. They would either panic or get suspicious if they found that I was gone—I wasn't quite sure which one it would be, and I really didn't want to find out.
After a few twists and turns, I found myself outside the Prestige Theater. It was a long brick building with a sloped roof of red tile. Rather than electrical bulbs, the theater's outside lights were golden braziers filled with bright red fire. The front door was shut and a large “Closed” sign hung on it.
But I was more interested in the large wooden carriage that was parked next to the theater. It was painted light blue with gold trim around the edges and had a large star-tipped wand sprinkling silver dust emblazoned on the side. It didn't take a genius to figure out who owned it. (Hint: it's not Pamela Anderson.)
In front of the carriage's door stood two stallions. The one on the left was a lanky brown pegasus with a dark orange mane and tail and a large blue star for a stud stamp. The other was a stout green unicorn with white hair and a picture of an hourglass on his hip. Both of them wore black vests and dark sunglasses, despite the lack of sun.
“'Scuse me,” I said as I approached. “I'm looking f—”
“For Trixie,” the pegasus cut me off sharply. “Is she expecting you?”
“Well, no, bu—”
“Then shove off!” the orange pony said with a nasty sneer.
“Yeah, shove off!” the unicorn repeated.
“Shut up!” the pegasus snapped and hoofed him hard on the shoulder.
“Ow! What the hay was that for?” the unicorn guard asked as he rubbed at the injury.
“I've told you a million times, Minty, stop copying me!”
“Okay, Sirius,” Minty said submissively. He sounded hurt in more ways than one.
Sirius snorted derisively and turned back to me. “What are you still doing here? Get lost!”
“Look, I need to see Trixie,” I said firmly. “It's important.”
“Forget about it. She already performed tonight and she's not seeing any visitors right now.”
“Yeah,” Minty added unenthusiastically. “So get going before we dump your sorry plot in some gutter. Somewhere.”
Sirius just slowly turned his head and stared with a frown. Minty fidgeted uncomfortably for a few seconds.
“What?” the short unicorn finally asked.
“That was the worst threat I've ever heard,” Sirius said. “How did you even get into security in the first place?”
Minty seemed to brighten up a bit. “Well, my first security job was for my brother Truffle's candy shop. See, he didn't want any foals eating the stuff without paying, so he had me—”
“That was a rhetorical question,” Sirius deadpanned.
“Oh.” Minty's ears drooped sadly.
The pegasus sighed in exasperation. “Minty, you really need to work on your technique. You're not threatening enough.”
“I'd get more practice if you didn't scare off everypony before I get the chance to,” Minty grumbled. Sirius either didn't hear that or he chose to ignore it.
“Could I at least get a message to Trixie?” I asked now that their banter had died down again.
“Listen, you little...” Sirius started, then stopped and turned to the other guard. “Minty, you tell him off.”
“Why me?” the unicorn whined. He suddenly looked a little scared.
“You just said that you don't get enough practice, dimwit. Here's a perfect chance to get some.”
“O-okay,” Minty said in a perfect imitation of Fluttershy, then set his face toward me. He rolled his shoulders a few times and planted his hooves firmly. Then he reset his sunglasses so that they were a little closer to the end of his nose. Then he messed with his mane and pulled a few stray strands into place. While he was at it, he scratched at his neck. Then he had to set his hooves in place again.
“Get on with it!” Sirius snarled.
“Oh, r-right,” Minty muttered miserably. He cleared his throat a few times. “L-look, s-sir, Trixie's not...I-I mean, s-she told us that she doesn't want to...that is...” His voice trailed off when I didn't move.
Sirius facehoofed. “Oh, for the love of....You need to get angry! Call him names! Threaten to smash his face in if he doesn't leave!”
“Uh, I'll smash your face in if you don't leave?” Minty said halfheartedly with an apologetic smile.
“You really need to work on this,” I said flatly. This whole thing was oddly entertaining, but I still had a magician to talk to.
Sirius facehoofed again. “Minty, I'm not gonna lie. You suck at this.”
“I can do this!” Minty insisted defensively. “Just give me a chance—”
“You've had your chance!” the pegasus snapped. “Now shut up and sit your fat plot down! Nopony likes a stupid whiner who can't even tell some scrawny little colt to keep walking!”
“You shut up!” Minty shouted angrily. His ears and tail drooped immediately after the words left his mouth.
“What did you just say?” Sirius asked dangerously. I took advantage of his distraction to move a few steps to the side.
“Y-y-you heard me!” Minty said, bravely standing his ground. “I said to shut up!”
“Well, I guess it's a start,” Sirius said indifferently. “Definitely an improvement, but you need to work on your—”
“Shut up!” Minty yelled at him again, more fiercely than before. “I've heard enough for one night!”
“Now you're getting it!” the pegasus said appreciatively. “That's good, now get this guy to—”
“Don't tell me what to do!” the green pony snapped furiously. He was practically steaming with sudden rage. “I'm tired of you ordering me around like this! If you try to get me to do one more thing, I will rip your fucking head off and SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!”
It's not often that you hear a pony swear like that (Rainbow Dash and myself excluded, of course), and Minty sounded like he really meant it. Truth be told, I felt a touch of trepidation just from being near this little outburst. I quickly took a few more steps, hoping to circle around them and sneak up to Trixie's carriage without them noticing.
Sirius looked a bit nervous as well. “Settle down, that's a little too fa—”
And that's when Minty hoofed him right between the eyes. It wasn't enough to knock him down, but the blow did snap his shades right at the bridge and the broken pieces fell off his nose. As it turns out, Sirius' eyes were dark blue.
“DON'T TELL ME TO SETTLE DOWN!” Minty screamed right into Sirius' stunned face as he threw his own sunglasses on the ground (yellow eyes). “WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE DOWN?! DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT, YOU WORTHLESS COCKBITE?!”
The two guards just stared at each other for a few seconds. Minty was glaring. Sirius was still in shock. I was frozen in place, watching them.
Then, without warning, Minty threw himself down on the ground and started crying. And by “crying,” I mean that he was letting out huge, heaving sobs that left him gasping for air.
“I-I'm sorry!” Minty forced out between heavy breaths as he grabbed Sirius' front hooves and held on. “I didn't...didn't mean it! I'm s-so...so sorry!”
Sirius and I just looked at the distressed unicorn. Then we glanced at each other. Then we dropped our eyes to the green pony again. The situation had suddenly become extremely awkward.
The pegasus knelt down and lifted Minty's head so that they were looking into each other's eyes again. His face softened into a gentle, brotherly expression.
And then he kissed Minty.
Minty looked just as taken aback by this as I was, but didn't pull away. Rather, it looked like...yeah, he started kissing back. Pretty enthusiastically, too. I'm pretty sure there was a little tongue-action going on at that moment.
I shifted my weight, a little uncomfortable at all the sudden changes that had just happened. One second Minty was a little dog with its tail tucked between its legs, then he was screaming like a bat out of hell, then straight-up violent, then a blubbering wreck, and now he was making out with the guy who was responsible for that? Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.
The security ponies both noticed that I was still standing there. Without breaking their lip-grip, they both got to their hooves and slowly backed away. They disappeared around the far corner of the theater.
I just stood there and stared at where they'd gone. I blinked a few times and tried to kick my brain back into working order, but it refused to comply. The only thought that went through my head was a single confused question:
What the hell just happened?
* * * * *
It took a good ten minutes to reboot my mind and get back to the task at hand. At least now those two were out of the way and I could do what I had to do.
I frowned and concentrated on the blue carriage in front of me. I hadn't noticed before, but it was shaking almost imperceptibly and there was an extremely faint buzzing noise coming from inside. That was a little strange.
After a moment's mental preparation, I lifted my hoof and loudly knocked on the carriage's door a few times. The buzzing abruptly stopped and there was a creak from inside as the unseen occupant shifted her weight.
“Who dares to disturb the Incredible and Omnipotent Trixie?” came that haughty, slightly annoyed voice that stirred up a few distant memories.
“Special delivery from a secret admirer,” I answered while rolling my eyes. Pandering to someone's ego is usually a pretty effective way to get them to do what you want.
A few seconds of silence passed, then the door's latch glowed with blue light for a moment and there was a sharp metallic click.
“Enter,” Trixie's voice commanded curtly.
I pushed the door open and was immediately struck by how blue the inside of the carriage was. Everything from the carpet to the walls to the stack of books in the corner to the flames in the gas lamps were all shades of blue. It's one thing to have a favorite color, but Trixie had completely jumped the shark with a flaming motorcycle when it came to choosing her decor.
“I don't see a package,” Trixie said warily as I stepped inside. I hadn't noticed her at first because she blended right into her surroundings without her purple cape and hat. She was lying down on a light blue cushion with a dark blue book open in front of her.
“Yeah, I lied,” I said simply as I kicked the door shut behind me with a snap.
She narrowed her eyes into a glare. “In that case, Trixie commands you to leave her carriage at once! Begone! Where are those useless guards when I need them?”
“They're probably nailing each other behind a dumpster right about now,” I said with a shrug. “Anyway, I need to talk to you. It's been a long time since we last saw each other.”
Trixie blinked a few times and cocked her head in confusion. “Ummm...have we met? I don't recall making your acquaintance.”
“Can't say I'm surprised. It was a while back in Ponyville. You'd heard certain rumors about someone that brought you there. You were looking to challenge a certain guy, and you didn't take it well when he turned you down. So you forced him into competing and he beat you at your own game.”
Her eyebrows went up and she nodded slowly. “You mean the human. Were you there to see our contest?”
“Not exactly.” I took a deep breath before continuing. “I was in the contest. I'm the human.”
Trixie snorted. “What? Oh, of all the ridiculous things that anypony's ever...wait.” She cut off her own scoffing and looked me over again, more carefully this time. “You're serious, aren't you?”
“Serious as a heart attack,” I confirmed. “You need proof? After you disappeared from the stage, you waited in the library and tried to sneak up on me with an invisibility spell. I said that you were breathing too loud.” That was a detail that I could remember particularly well for some reason.
The blue unicorn's mouth hung open slightly as she digested this. Then she narrowed her eyes dangerously and shifted slightly on her cushion.
“Say that again,” she ordered and her horn glowed softly. I could feel something going on in my brain, as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on my frontal lobe.
“I'm Jesse, the human,” I repeated while trying to ignore the odd prickling sensation in my head. Must be some kind of lie-detecting spell, I guessed.
The cold feeling stopped abruptly. The light around the mare's horn faded away, then it shot out a small green spark that drifted lazily to the floor before disappearing as well. Trixie blinked rapidly and gave a small gasp of surprise.
“Jesse,” she breathed after a few seconds, then stood up. “Well, it's...I...we, that is....Forgive me, but you look...different.”
“Tell me about it,” I said with just a hint of a smile and gestured around at all the blue stuff in the carriage. “You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. Incredible and Omnipotent now, are you?”
“A bit of an improvement over Great and Powerful, isn't it?” she said proudly, then frowned. “What are you doing here? What happened to you?”
“Tell me what you already know first,” I said, also becoming serious. “Anything that you heard about me after you left Ponyville.”
Trixie tapped her chin and thought for a moment. “Well, I heard that you were called by the Princesses to help them deal with a shadow dragon in Fillydelphia and defeated it by yourself. Everypony was talking about it for months. Some say that you had to rip its heart out and eat it to slay the beast.”
“That's bullshit,” I said quickly. “I had plenty of help and a lot of luck when I fought that thing, and I stabbed it with a magic sword.”
She nodded and flipped a stray bit of her mane behind her ear. “I suspected that the truth was something like that. Anyway, there are lots of differing rumors about what happened after that. Some say that you died while fighting the dragon, and others claim that you returned to Earth. Most of the ponies who I've spoken with seem to think that you had something to do with Princess Luna's departure, and a few even suggest that you left with her.”
“I've been—wait, what was that last part? What happened to Luna?”
“You don't know?” Trixie asked in surprise. “After you disappeared three years ago, Princess Luna had a falling out with Celestia and left Canterlot. There's a lot of disagreement over what it was about, but she returned to the moon and has only been back a few times since.”
“I never heard about that. I only came back to Equestria this morning.” I scratched the back of my neck and frowned even deeper. “And you said that was three years ago?”
“Yes, immediately after your disappearance.”
“That can't be right,” I muttered. “I was on Earth for five years. Only three passed here?”
She nodded slowly. “That is curious....So you say that you did go back to Earth? If I may ask, why? And why have you come back now? And how is that you've become a stallion? You didn't suddenly learn how to use real magic, did you?”
“Do you see a horn? No, this happened when I got thrown into a field of Poison Joke. You know, those flowers that do weird stuff to anypony who touches it?”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “I've heard of it. If you like, I could try a few spells that might remove it's effects.”
“No!” I shouted quickly before she could use her magic, then calmed myself back down. “I mean, no, thank you. I want to stay like this for the moment, actually. I'd prefer it if nopony knew who I was.” I hated to think of what the others would say or think if Jesse suddenly showed up instead of Cog. Probably nothing good.
“If you insist,” she said with a shrug.
“In response to your other question, about coming back to Equestria, it's a long story and I don't have all night. As for why I'm here in Manehattan, I was hoping that you could help me out with something.”
Trixie pricked her ears forward at that. “Oh? And what might that be?”
“Has anything unusual appeared around you recently? Something that you're not sure what it is? Maybe a written message or something like that?”
She thought for a moment, then nodded. “There is one thing. Just earlier today, somepony stuck a strange letter under my door. I put it somewhere around here...”
Her horn glowed and a stack of loose papers that sat on a small desk (which was blue, naturally) flew into the air. Trixie shuffled them quickly, then set them down again. She made the cushion that she'd been lying down on levitate, but the letter wasn't there either.
What was there was a blue-and-silver Colt 1911, which Trixie quickly kicked out of sight. She offered an embarrassed laugh, then turned back to searching with even more intensity than before as her face went scarlet. Well, that explains the buzzing from earlier, I thought with a snort. And why she didn't hear all the yelling outside.
“Where is it?” she muttered to herself as she pulled her stack of books apart. “I know I—Found it! I thought it was a bit odd when I read it earlier.”
She levitated the letter and opened it in front of me so that I could read the short note inside.
To discover the woeful prison of your friends
No, I didn't think that it was very helpful either. Then again, I somehow knew that it was the real first clue, and that it would probably mean something when we found the other three.
“Thanks, that's exactly what I needed,” I said as I committed the message to memory. It's a lot easier to do that when it's actual words.
“What's so important about it, anyway?” Trixie asked as she set the piece of paper aside.
“It's gonna help me rescue three ponynapped fillies and a dragon. Long story, not enough time for it. If we run into each other again in the future, I'll tell you all about it.”
“Ponynapped?” she cried out as her magenta eyes shot open. “Who would do such a thing?”
“Look who's talking,” I shot back lightly. “As I recall, you captured Rarity back when I told you to take a hike.”
“Touche. But at least I had a plan to release your fillyfriend regardless of our contest's outcome. Is that the case this time?”
“No, it's not. Well, thanks again for helping me. Sorry to have to leave so soon, but I really need to get going before I'm missed.” I was beginning to worry that one of the others would randomly wake up and discover that I was gone.
Trixie dipped her silver-topped head. “Very well, Jesse. I wish you the best of luck with your rescuing efforts. And make sure that you find me again after you do.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What, no snarky comments before I leave? No challenge for another round of magic tricks?”
The corners of her lips perked upward deviously. “In that case....Since you brought it up, we'll have round two after you're done with your current quest. I'll find you if I have to.”
“Goddammit, you haven't changed at all!” I said loudly, but I was grinning. I dimly acknowledged that it was the first time that I had smiled like that in years.
“Prepare to feel the wrath of the Incredible and Omnipotent Trixie! Whoo-o-o-o!” she wiggled her front hooves in the air at me.
After we had a good laugh at that—and after she finished telling me how she was going to utterly destroy me with the amazing tricks that I had taught her during our last encounter—I stepped out of her carriage. Outside, Trixie's guards still hadn't returned to their post.
I was momentarily disoriented by how orange and yellow everything looked after spending so long staring at nothing but blue, but I ignored it and started retracing my steps. My vision readjusted itself properly by the time that the hotel came into view.
A few minutes later, I carefully pushed open the door to the room and quietly slipped inside. I could barely make out the dark outlines of Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, but the sound of their deep breathing made it clear that they were all still fast asleep. I felt a little relief at that.
I silently got back to my cushion and laid down on the uncomfortable lump. My eyelids felt heavy, but the gears in my head kept turning.
Everything that had happened that day kept running itself through my mind over and over. A lot had occurred; I'd been turned into a pony, found myself reunited with my only friends, lied repeatedly to said friends, almost been arrested, and found a clue that lead to another clue. All in all, it had been a pretty long day.
I felt a surge of accomplishment, though. Sure, the letter that Discord had left with Trixie wasn't very enlightening, but the conversation had been. Not all of the news had been pleasant, but at least now I knew a little more about what had gone on in Equestria while I was out of the picture.
It felt a little weird to know that there were still ponies talking about me (or rather, the mysterious alien human who had shown up in Ponyville one day). But the others hadn't said a single word about it, which was a little disconcerting. Was that a bad sign?
There were two other things that bothered me. First was the part about Princess Luna returning to the moon. Sure, her last actions that I remembered weren't exactly becoming of royalty, but she had been friendly enough before that. Why would she suddenly exile herself?
The other topic that weighed on my mind was the difference in time passage. For my first stay in Equestria, less time had passed on Earth. And during my absence, five years went by instead of three? Did that mean that time moved slower in whichever world I happened to be in? That didn't make any sense at all. Just one more mystery that taunted me.
I frowned and shifted around in a vain attempt to get comfortable. But even if the cushion had been stuffed with the softest cotton imaginable, I still would have been kept awake by the various thoughts that still plagued my mind. Don't you hate it when you're tired as hell and just want to fall asleep but can't manage to do it?
It was a long time before I finally drifted off.
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awesome
Trixie makes any chapter amazing.
And congratulations, the bodyguards/bouncer scene has most definitely earned this:
img.ponibooru.org/_images/9c1645f42475fe639434ffc9b031be7e/52299%20-%20Berry_Pinch%20coin%20currency%20legal_tender%20money%20one_wat%20reaction_image%20ruby_pinch%20transparent%20wat.png
hoh my gawd this was awesome
"They're nailing each other behind some dumpster"
Hehe, Awesome chapter as always! Thank god I'm not Jesse, or at this point we'd be screwed, I fail at clues XD
OoOh some colt action~
That was pretty cool! I can't wait to see when he gets discovered. I wonder though why his Earth swearing hasn't given him away yet.
(Hint: it's not Pamela Anderson.) <Dang it!
. . . . .OR I'll RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SH** DOWN YOUR NECK!!!
Genius! Pure f***ing genius!
interesting
Dammit, you always post these while I'm at work, then I have to wait and get home. (is at home now)
Sweet!!
I'm loving this!!
50466
Neat. I'm not entirely sure what that is or what it means, but I like it.
50657
Indeed. And in more than one way, too
50686
One of the great tragedies of life is that Pamela Anderson doesn't just show up in random carriages
50890
She'd tried to hide the Colt under her cushion and revealed it later by accident. That part was a really late addition to the story, so maybe I didn't make it very clear
51680
But the wait is worth it, right?
lol. something tells me trixie has the hots for jesse. cant wait for the next one... any chance of it bein posted now?
SO glad to have this story going again! Thank you so much!
>>FattBoy94 By now it's something of an inside joke.
>>FattBoy94 By now it's something of an inside joke.53829
I dun failed...
So... Is this going to have a scumbag ending like the previous one? Cause if it does, I'm stopping to read this right now
Wow, i cant wait for your next chapter. I spent 4 hours yesturday on American Dude in equestria.
Luna has gone to go bananas on the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. BEE-YETCH!