How far would you go to protect those dear to you?
Would you risk your own health?
Would you risk others getting involved?
Would you risk someone fading into non-existence by going back in time?
I know I do. And I will not fail AGAIN!
Nyx is an OC from Pen Stroke from his story Past Sins. (Add link later)
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Oh my, that made is rather beautiful if you don't mind me saying. Good job on the story
6155524 Thanks a ton of bricks.
Oooh i can't wait for the next chapter everything with nyx is awesome
6155614 Nyx getting a harem too?
Oh, wow... New Nyx story! This one seems like it's gonna be fairly different.
Thumbs up - Thumbs up - THUMBS UP//// WHY CAN'T I THUMB THIS DAMN THING ANY HIGHER GAHHHHHHHHHH
Moar sir, please. Can i have some moar?
Sweet wheres my popcorn
too many question way too many questions. Luna would still be NMM at this point so even with Nyx showing up that would still be a thing.
i think you need to redo this.
6156360 Nope. Questions are simply gonna be answered later. Next chapter (a few at least). Belief me, I tried to do the chapter like you want it to be, but it just wouldn't fit.
Where's Luna?
6156863 NEXT CHAPTER NOW STOP ASKING!!!!!!!!!!
I can just imagine the look on Spike's face when he sees his 'little sister'
Nyx? *squee* Interesting. It's still a bit early to judge, but the beginning is promising and I'm really curious to see what will happen in the next chapter
i122.photobucket.com/albums/o269/Reddragon999/Curiosity-attention-django-meme_zpsa4bbfe27.jpg
*squints*
I will be reading this.
I wounder what happened in the future? Anyways great story I can't wait for more.
I had an idea a lot like this, though mine involved frantic confusion on both sides when Nyx showed up at the same time of Nightmare's defeat.
Anyway, this could be a great story, but it needs a lot of editing, and I don't mean in spelling or punctuation. The sentence structure is very clunky at points, lacking any semblance of flow.
Work on smoothing things out, and you'll have yourself a reader.
Example
It was lilac and bore an ethereal quality she'd only seen Princess Celestia possess.
Or something like that.
Kinda cute! ^_^
#Gross!
I SWEAR, IT WAS A REAL LIVE TURNIP!
6157081 That picture pretty much sums it up, for me. Well done on your intro, its raised a lot of questions and earned you a track from me.
Such questions include:
=Why is Nyx here?
=If she is here, where is NMM?
=How is Nyx still existing, when she's potentially caused a Grandparent Paradox?
-ie by causing the original NMM to not get blasted, there won't be any shards for the cult to use to attempt NMM's ressurrection, therefore, no Nyx was born.
=Where the buck is Luna?
All valid questions. Now, you seem to have a little problem with the "flow" of the story, as well as how certain things are worded. I'm also not 100% sold on where exactly in the tale you decided to pick up the story... It could do better.
To help you out, I am offering my editing skills. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not saying your writing is bad, but it could stand to be better. Every good author has an editor.
Finally, I'd just like to say, Nyx is best OC.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1s0I1OhliEAFmJB-FXMQhWQbjNnKSNO_wuZkFgwfPSdN_9Tdo5A
Hmm, I came in with low expectations and came out with intrigue and desire for explanation. I await to see how Nyx intertwines herself with the past. Also, love the mother and daughter love at the end. I would like more of that.
Also, what dragon hunter said!
i122.photobucket.com/albums/o269/Reddragon999/Curiosity-attention-django-meme_zpsa4bbfe27.jpg
It should be 'lose' not 'loose'. 'loose' is for something like, "I have a loose shoe lace."
I think you are looking for the word 'thorough', not 'throughout'. That is to be used like, "through out the land, darkness reigned supreme."
Whelp, that explains some things...
As well as not much really...
6159347 That was the point. I can't just explain the entire plot in two chapters, how would that look like? And why is everyone expecting this to happen?
Interesting now waiting for surprised now!
Really great read so far, can't wait for more!
I wonder where Nyx is now?
Love It
I'm sorry man, you are just butchering this concept. It's an interesting concept of Nyx going back in time but off that bat you are doing too many deus exs. Heck if this is Nyx's timeline then she just prevented herself from existing. Without Nightmare Moon's armor Nexus will not be poccessed and thus not make the Children of Nightmare. Thus won't try to resurrect Nightmare Moon which leads to Nyx. You have got to think of that. Downvoted
6159809 Of course it's Deus Ex, what are you expecting? (I don't have high standards). And the thing you described with Nyx not existing anymore is called Time Paradox. You know what? Do a better job, if you think you're up to it.
6159820 i will at some point. right now have several stories I'm working on.
6159828 Looking forward to it. And I don't mean it in a sarcastic way. Seriously, I'm watching you^^
6159836 Anything I have ever said here was to improve the story. If reading my stories helps you out then awesome. i want my fellow writers to succeed.
Now this is an interesting idea. I am curious, how it will turn out for Nyx. By the way Penstroke stated, that one had to note in his story, that the OC Nyx is from Past Sins.
6159912 Woops
Not bad. There are still a few spelling errors like using 'tow' instead of 'to' and a few others. But not bad; keep working at it and we'll go from there.
Pretty interesting story. Though if Nyx turned Luna back to normal without the Elements of Harmony involved, is Nightmare Moon still in Luna then by chance? Like locked away deep in Luna's subconscious where she can't take control anymore? Also will the Nyx dream creatures themselves show up at one point? Cause they need to be purified after what Nightmare did to them upon banishment 1000 years ago so they can go back to protecting dreams or whatever it is their job was that Nightmare Moon corrupted.
6160133 Jeez, gimme time to write the story. We'll come to that later.
6160222 Ok then. ^^
No need to rush the story m8. Take your time, find your groove and let your imagination run wild.
As for myself i'll just be hyping myself in the corner
Ow and before i forget
Can't help myself : P
I'll be honest, I'm withholding my up/downvote for a few chapters. I am liking what I'm seeing for now though, keep it up.
Oh, also,
Should probably be "when she told her to stay in the castle." The way you have it implies Celestia said "Luna, to stay in the castle, okay?"
I'll try to finish the next chapter this week. Thought I should tell you guys.
Update: Will be finished tomorrow. Sorry, busy week.
Update: I'm sooooooooooo not happy with the chapter. Still uploading it. Adding finishing touches.
Finally, a bloody chapter. Not bad of a story, not bad at all...
6197165 It's not bloody, it's sweaty! Pretty hot where I live right now.
orig03.deviantart.net/f8f0/f/2011/271/f/5/nightmare_moon_clap_by_mihaaaa-d468rif.gif
Good job
6197202 Lol, where'd you find THAT?!
6197217 In a magical place filled with wonders and horrors...
...
...
Internet.
6197228 *gulp*
6197236 pre10.deviantart.net/20a9/th/pre/f/2012/150/7/4/mlp__internet_is_traumatic_by_dm29-d51mr1a.png
6197250 Wow, Pinkie Pie. Didn't expect that reaction.
6197176 Come to England, then. I know some good hotels...