• Member Since 24th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

TheCrimsonDM


Big fan of fantasy and lesbians. If you want magic, lesbians, or ponies, you've come to the right place. Follow me itch.io if you want to see my visual novels. https://thecrimsondm-vanillia.itch.io/

T

Pinkie and Maud are closer than anything in the universe. In fact they are so close that some ponies think they're weird. Pinkie Pie doesn't think so, or at least she didn't used to...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

It's only incest if you look at each other when you do it.

Huh. Well, to each their own I guess.

“Heh, cute,”

My reaction, pretty much.

Couple of small spelling and grammar mistakes, but it's an interesting take on this type of story.

I really like the idea, and Pinkie-Maud has been my main Pinkie ship for awhile now. But you really, really, really need to get your 'there-their-they're' problem fixed.

QWERTY #6 · Jun 29th, 2015 · · 1 ·

Oh sillly, silly Pinkie Pie. There is one reason above all others that justifies a relationship with your sister: It's Hawt, and makes me hard like a rock.

Maud leaned in and with a gentle touch, her lips met Pinkie’s.

Obligatory:

P.S.
Congratulations gays! I look forward to crashing your weddings! Prepared to be pelted with Skittles during the rice toss.

The family that lays together stays together

6149232
Damn it Carlos!

Nice story, but there's several times were you wrote "sisters" when you should have written "sister's".

With her nose so close to Maud’s fur, Pinkie really had no choice but to smell her sisters scent.

It wasn’t until later that evening before these two woke up. At first Pinkie Pie could easily enjoy lying in her sisters embrace, but the comments that Maud had made earlier were beginning to weigh heavily on her mind.

Maud looked at Pinkie Pie, and that’s when Pinkie saw the tears that had been running down her older sisters cheeks.

You know what? I accept this. I really like these two, and my new head canon is these two are lesbians for each other. They're just too cute together.

Ahh, old incest trick, never gets old. That out of the way, this is a pretty interesting concept, kind of, ( I don't know how love works, god, still single forever. )

The shipping is fine, IMO. What bugs me is how you wrote Pinkie's character. Her thing is spreading happiness, so why would she reject Maud like that because of social laws? Hell, Pinkie breaks the laws of reality on a regular basis.

Comment posted by crowscrowcrow deleted Jul 1st, 2015

This was cute. :rainbowkiss:

I actually liked this little background detail the most.

You just never noticed it before. But in the end hasn’t your relationship to her been like this since the beginning. I mean your parents separated you two for a reason.

Just a whole sad story in and of it self in a single sentence.

It was also interesting to see Maud and Pinkie argue about why their love would be wrong, and Pinkie is only able to argue in a circle, drawing total blanks as to actual reasons. Yet it is totally understandable, because Pinkie is right in saying that these are things everyone knows and accepts, so naturally she wouldn't have an understanding of why they are considered wrong.

Even when you do, it is difficult to argue against Maud. What is Pinkie supposed to say?
"But our foals might have genetic defects!"
"Pinkie, we're both mares."
"That's never stopped the internet!" :pinkiegasp:


Now as for something I didn't like...

I did not like the 'internal argument' Pinkie Pie was supposedly having with herself. It did not read at all like she was talking to herself. Instead from the very first word it felt like the voice of the author was trying to talk Pinkie Pie into something she wasn't comfortable with. Just a disembodied voice of something higher that was not Pinkie's own, trying to convince her. It honestly was kind of creepy.

That is not to say I dislike the 'Character argues with themselves in two voices' thing as a concept. I just feel it was poorly executed in this case, because it did not feel at all like Pinkie's voice.

Heck, I don't even strictly object to having it be the author's voice. This is Pinkie, you could have had her literally argue with the writer and it might have worked. But then Pinkie probably needs more agency than 'disembodied voice easily convinces her with arguments and omniscience.'

It's difficult to pin point how to do it. Perhaps that the other voice should never convince Pinkie, but merely get her thinking, and allow her to reach a conclusion and reaction on her own. I'm not sure.

6149232
Why roam, when you can get some at home?:trollestia:

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