Who Will Save Me From This Body of Death?
She woke in a daze.
Twilight’s head spun. Her heart hammered in her chest, like a prisoner beating at a dungeon door. Her body ached. These sensations came in stages, like frost on a window pane. Groaning, she tried to rise and found it burdensome.
Yet she rose anyway, blinking in the sunlight. And it was quite bright--the part of her mind that never ceased to analyze was sure it was around noon, perhaps a little later. Her body insisted it was late and she should be getting to bed. Her heart still hammered away.
Carefully, grumbling, she descended the stairs of the library. There would be coffee in the kitchen. Coffee made things better, most times. In fact, Twilight counted it her chief ally and highest friend.
Friend. She paused at the foot of the stairs. She hoped it was not late for lunch. It would be nice to eat lunch with a friend. Names were slow to come; she blamed the grogginess of waking from bad dreams. Another strange thought. Had they been bad? She tried to grasp at the fleeting memories but they fled.
Rarity. Rarity or Fluttershy. Yes, lunch with one of them would be nice. She would just have to see about it, wouldn’t she? After coffee, of course.
The lights were all out. Odd. On those rare occasions that Twilight was not caffeinated and ready for the day in the early morning, Spike usually made sure to at least have the lights on. Twilight huffed, and stumbled about in the dark for a moment, trying to remember where the light switch was. Not this wall. Other wall. Yes. Magic did the rest.
Yawning, Twilight continued her slow progression past the dusty main room. She did not look at the dust-covered shelves. She did not notice the stench of stale air.
She did notice that the kitchen was bare of all but a mold-ridden loaf of bread and an abundance of coffee filters, but it took a few minutes for Twilight to truly grasp the situation. There was no coffee. She groaned and laid her head on the counter, only to find its coolness relaxing. She sighed and smiled again.
The Book came back to her. She stirred. Yes, how had she forgotten? How could she have not thought about it all this time? She smiled the uncomplicated smile of the intoxicated. The Project. It was truly her greatest achievement, and it wasn't even done! But it would be! She felt that she was close.
Foolish. Twilight, this is what you get for slacking off. If you’d simply stayed up working, you wouldn’t have wasted the morning! she thought, but the early morning haze blunted her own self-beratement. She was simply too tired to care.
But she cared about coffee. Sugarcube Corner would have some. The hunger that she now noticed gnawing at her innards could be fed there as well. It was worth a shot.
Twilight once again passed a deserted, abandoned library and did not notice.
Outside she found that her initial suspicions were correct. The sun was high in the sky, and ponies bustled about as they always did around lunchtime. Ponyville really was such a wonderful place. Surely indulging in it for a bit wouldn’t be so terrible. As she sluggishly trotted to Pinkie’s domain, it was easy to convince herself that a brief outing could only serve the interests of the Project, and the Book. Those things were, of course, of the utmost importance. They were the only things. Everything else was just a subset of the Project. Literally.
Twilight did not notice the stares she received from a few of the ponies she passed. She heard a few talk to each other in low tones, but these things were not important. Anything not directly about the Project was not important. Coffee was, of course, an essential element. Somehow seeing Pinkie was as well. Apparently.
Twilight lurched into Sugarcube with a yawn to shake the heavens, and rubbed her eyes. Whilst she was temporarily blinded, she heard somepony gasp. She noticed them this time. She opened her eyes again.
Pinkie was at the counter. More accurately, she was over the counter, leaning out over the floor, with a face of absolute and total shock. But she seemed to recover, as much as Pinkie could said to ever regain composure, and stood back behind the counter waving.
“Twilight! Hi!”
Twilight blinked groggily. “Hello, Pinkie. Could you get me some coffee?”
Pinkie stared for a moment, then jumped. “Right! yeah, sure, Twilight! Coffee, yeah!”
Twilight watched Pinkie being Pinkie. She did not notice the way that Pinkie fidgeted. She also did not notice the the way in which the other morning patrons looked at her. They looked over the edges of newspapers and out of the corners of their eyes; they looked over the tops of their mugs and around the soft pastries--in short they all looked and tried to hide.
Twilight did notice, eventually, that Pinkie was awfully clumsy this morning. Had she always been this way? It was hard to tell. Pinkie caused a mess generally anywhere she went, but it was more often in the course of some lighthearted mischief. When was the last time she had seen Pinkie working?
Twilight rested to the side of the counter, leaning lightly on the display case. Curious, she looked down at the treats inside and her mouth watered. A bit of energy might just do her well.
Pinkie brought her coffee to the counter, with a smile as wide as the savannahs and as bright as the sun through Twilight’s window. “It’s so good to see you! I hope you like it!” She paused, seeing now what Twilight had been so focused on. “Oh, would you like something? We have, uh… I know we have donuts. Gosh, you think I’d know what we had!” she laughed. Twilight did not think anything was odd about Pinkie laughing. She always laughed. This time was obviously no different. “Um, anything you’d like, Twilight. On the house! Free! Anything.”
Twilight cocked her head to one side. “I can pay.”
“I know, I know. Take the coffee too!”
Twilight blinked at her, puzzled. She looked down at the coffee offered her and decided that questioning a gift was probably rude and even if it wasn’t, it was rather inefficient. She shrugged and tasted the coffee, and found it fantastic. She closed her eyes and gave a happy little sigh.
“This… this is good,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
“I can get you a donut or something! How about two? I’ll give you a dozen.”
Twilight smiled. She chuckled, even. The sound was very strange. To be honest, her voice sounded strange. “I’ll have two. Thank you, Pinkie.” Twilight kept to short sentences. Easy ones. For some reason she found speaking strenuous. It took so long! She was used to the spontaneity of thought.
“I’m just glad to see you,” Pinkie replied, dipping under to search through the display case. “Really, really, really--” she was cut off as she put both pastries on a plate. “Really, really, really glad to see you. I sort of ran out of bags. I was supposed to go get some but I didn’t and I forgot so could you eat it here? I’m really sorry.”
Twilight shrugged. “I was probably going to do that anyway.”
“Alright. I’m actually about to take a little break. Um, I can sit with you,” she said quickly.
Twilight thought this was odd, but did not question it. Questions took energy, and she did not have much energy to spare. She nodded, and Pinkie quickly retreated to the kitchen. Twilight sat down and waited a moment for her to reappear. After a while, she did, and Twilight at last noticed that her nervous energy was joke that--nervous. Pinkie was rarely nervous, in the sense that Twilight understood the word. She was anxious, the kind of anxiety born of possibility or anticipation. She was often restless. But nervous?
She sat down and Twilight decided that her first priority was breakfast. She could figure out the world after that.
Pinkie babbled. “I mean, it’s just really great that you came by. I mean, we haven’t seen you in so long and I know you’re probably really tired from doing whatever is you’re doing but you came outside and I am just really excited about that--”
“Not so long,” Twilight said between bites. “I mean, you guys came over like…”
She paused. The small pause became a much larger pause. An awkward, pregnant pause.
“I forget,” she finished lamely. “But not that long,” she added as quickly as she could.
“So… what have you been doing?” Pinkie asked.
“Work.”
“What kind of work?”
“Very important kind,” Twilight said simply. “The Book is very important. It must be finished. My work is very important.”
“What’s in the book?” Pinkie asked. Carefully, though Twilight did not notice how carefully she asked this.
Twilight chuckled. Thinking about the book made her smile. She did not notice that Pinkie’s smile froze.
“Oh, what isn’t? It’s all there, Pinkie. Everything. All of it. It’s so full of life! Everything I know is going in that book--everything I’ve ever experienced. I may never need to do anything again after this! There’s this… hm.” She held a hoof up to her chin, levitating the donut precariously about in the air as she thought, suddenly full of energy and life. “Oh, it’s hard to describe. You’ll see it! Everyone will.”
“I’d love to, Twilight,” Pinkie said.
“Have you seen Spike?” Twilight asked. “He wasn’t around this morning and I was wondering what he was off doing. It’s not like him to be gone.” She frowned. “I mean, I know he’s probably alright. Ponyville is a good town, full of good ponies who love him and this is probably the safest place in Equestria for him to be! I mean, more or less.”
“We do have a long history of happenings,” Pinkie said without a shred of warmth, stiffly and yet Twilight did not note it.
“Happenings! That’s a good word, Pinkie. Happenings.” Twilight chuckled. The donuts were finished. She sipped at the coffee. It really was wonderful. Bit by bit she could feel her body rebounding from troubled sleep. Why, at this rate, with the sun on her back and the nice air in town, by the time she was home she would be ready for a long, long work session. Perhaps she would see if they sold coffee beans here, so she wouldn’t be distracted. And in the future she could come back to the Corner, enjoy the outside for a bit before diving right back in. But of course, she would be diving right in. As soon as she got back.
She began to rise, and Pinkie flailed. “Ah, uh, Twilight! Um, going so soon? I’m sure Rarity is coming soon and I know she’ll want to see you! You can go back later, right?”
“Oh, well…” She could, true. But she was in such a good mood now. She felt better. She really should be getting back to work.
“And, and, and, how about some more coffee? I can grind you some to take back and another cup would really do you a world of good. I’m a baker at a cafe, I know about these things,” she said as seriously as Twilight could imagine her being. “You just need to stay for a bit.”
Twilight felt a little kernel of irritation. It radiated heat in her mind’s eye. Pinkie just didn’t understand. But as soon as she felt that unpleasantness, Twilight surpressed it. Time was finite but not scarce. She could afford to play along for a bit more. And besides, she was enjoying the way coffee made her feel. More alive. More… alert.
She was alert enough now to notice that something was off. Around her, ponies seemed to actively avoid her gaze. Pinkie seemed less hyper and more jumpy. Jumpy, that was the word. Pinkie Pie was always bouncing, but now she just seemed nervous. Twilight decided she didn’t like it.
“Alright,” she said, and smiled. “Might I perhaps take the rest outside?”
“I’ll bring a press right out!” Pinkie said quickly and before Twilight could protest that that was quite too much, that she would really rather pay, Pinkie was gone. Sighing, Twilight stood and blew a stray bit of mane out of her eyes. It returned, and she blew it aside again. This simply caused more to fall in her face. Exasperated, she moved it with her magic and tucked the errant strands behind her ear.
Yet, it was not simply a few strands. She realized that her mane was far too long. How had she let that get away from her? She was not quite as obsessed with her looks as Rarity, perhaps, but she usually took such care to be neatly groomed. Twilight felt embarrassed. How rough must she look? Glad I asked to sit outside, she thought and shuffled out the door.
The sun hurt her eyes. It was bright, which was not unusual, but to Twilight it seemed as if it had never been this bright. Even under the parasol that graced her little pink table she felt the sun’s oppressive weight.
Pinkie was outside and placing the press on her table before Twilight even saw her. Twilight had coffee ready at hand before she could even open her mouth.
Pinkie moved with manic energy. Nervous energy. Twilight was fully awake now. For once, she was not thinking about the Project.
“Pinkie…”
“Yes, Twilight? What is it? How is the coffee we changed from Marewell House to Community and I really am glad we did it was such a good idea do you like the chicory--”
Twilight gestured with a hoof. “No, no, whoa. Calm down. Slow down, Pinkie.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Twilight said with a smile. “Now, are you alright? You seem kinda ragged. Has work been stressful? Are the Cakes doing alright? Have you been struggling with the kids?”
“Cupcake and Pound are fine,” Pinkie said is if she didn’t know those names. Her eyes bored into Twilight. “Uh, the Cakes are just fine--”
“Pinkie,” Twilight said, tsking. “You know you can talk to me. You seem really on-edge. What’s the matter?”
Pinkie looked, just for a moment--just for a fraction of a fraction of time suspended in amber--like the most miserable pony on the face of the world. Twilight almost jerked back in dismay.
But suddenly she was Pinkie again, more or less normal. Smiling. “Nothing. It’s just been a really busy morning! I had trouble sleeping and you know how I get cranky when I’m tired!”
“Right.” Twilight sipped her coffee, a little shaken.
“Oh! Look!” Pinkie stood up and waved frantically at somepony over Twilight’s shoulder. Twilight hesitated, but finally looked.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash stopped dead in the street. A sack of groceries fell from Rainbow Dash’s foreleg, but she didn’t stoop to collect them. Both ponies just stared at her with wide eyes, the way one stares at ghosts and nightmares. Pinkie was still waving frantically behind her, Twilight could hear her movements. Applejack recovered first. She put on the most obviously forced smile Twilight had ever seen and lazily proceeded closer. Rainbow shook her head, and seemed about to say something, but then she looked down and realized her back had emptied. As she bent down and began furiously collecting her things, Applejack called back at her.
“Don’t let me keep ya, I know you were heading back to go see Fluttershy quick like,” Applejack drawled. Rainbow Dash looked up at her, and worked her mouth for a second as if she’d forgotten how to speak. She finshed picking up her groceries and was gone without having said a word to Twilight.
“Howdy,” Applejack said.
“Morning,” Twilight responded.
“It’s really good to see you, AJ! I thought you might be coming in to town soon I know its getting around that time of year when I see you more and you know Twilight just happened to come by out of the blue, like who expected that, right? And--”
Twilight lost track of the rambling and focused on Applejack.
Because if Twilight didn’t know better she was under duress.
She had been irritated before, and she was irritated again. Something was going on, and she didn’t have time to deal with foolishness. The Project was calling. Twilight felt her head begin to throb--not so badly at first. It was a dull sort of unpleasantness. Not really pain. She really needed to get back.
Twilight rubbed her temple. She drank some coffee and felt a little better. But between every sip from there out she kept the library in her line of sight.
“It’s good to see you out and about, Twilight. Always good to see you,” Applejack said. Her voice was obviously too loud, obviously too cheerful. She was always loud and cheerful but this was like a parody of the Applejack she had known.
“Hm,” Twilight said, shutting down. It did not occur to her to ask “why” or “how”. In fact, her only thought was that this was all nice but she really needed to get back to work soon.
“W-well anyhow, Twilight, how have you been?”
“Good,” Twilight answered. Her voice was flat. “Busy.”
“Whatcha been working on so hard in there?” Applejack asked, with her too-big smile.
“The Project. The Book,” Twilight said.
“Right, ah, and what’s that book about?”
“A lot of things.”
“That’s Twilight for ya, bein’ one of those… uh, poly-somethin’s. I forgot. Mac used that word just the other day--”
“Polymath?” Twilight offered, and looked away from the direction of her library for just a moment.
“Right! That’s it. You’re always the one who knows the answer, Twi. I’ve always admired that about you,” Applejack said. Twilight lookd back up at her, and suddenly she felt… strange. Until this point, Applejack had seemed like she was trying to hide something, but suddenly she seemed like she was desperate to say something.
So Twilight asked. “What’s wrong?”
Applejack gaped at her. “Ah, nothin’, nothin’, just…”
It was then that Rainbow Dash returned with Fluttershy and Rarity in tow. Both had been at the spa. Twilight could tell from the slippers still on Rarity’s hooves, the towel around her head, and the distant spa pony running after them on the street.
“Twilight, darling!” Rarity said. Unlike the others, she had not hesitated. She was on Twilight in a flash. “How are you? How are you feeling? I have been meaning to talk with you, if you have the time--”
Twilight squirmed in her seat as a still-damp Rarity hugged her. “I’m kind of about to go back to work, actually. I mean, I’m sure it’s important, and I would love to help, but I’m so close to a breakthrough, I think…”
“Oh, but there is a difference between important and urgent, dear, and I must insist. This is very urgent, and I’m sure another hour won’t make that much of a difference--”
An hour. Sixty minutes. Twilight suddenly felt nauseous. She couldn’t be away from the Work that long. The Project! The Book! It had to go on. She had to get back. She had to get back right now.
She stood. Her head was pounding. “Excuse me…”
“Where are you going?”
“Twi!”
“Please move, I need to go home now,” Twilight said, hesitantly.
She stared right into Rainbow Dash’s face. Rainbow stared back. And then Dash took a deep, deep breath and grimaced. “Pinkie, grab her.”
Pinkie obeyed. Twilight felt hooves around her. Her friends--were they her friends?--began to drag her back away from the library. She flailed. Her hooves hit flesh. She felt them hit. She tried to bite one of their hooves as they struggled to keep her still. She failed once, succeeded, then she could reach nopony else. Her mind was blank except for a single thought. RETURN. RETURN RETURN RETURN RETURN RETURN RETURN
“Don’t let her get any closer! Hold on!”
“How long! Oh--She’ll get free at this rate!”
“Damn, where the hell did the bookworm get this sort of… dammit Twi don’t bite me!”
“Twilight, please! Twilight, stop, please!”
Twilight’s fury remembered magic and she reached out and grabbed her power.
The five ponies were flung off of her. They landed in the dust, kicking up little indignant clouds. Twilight spent no time panting and recovering. She was gone, sprinting back towards the library, back towards her door. Back to the Book. What was left of her conscious mind thought only of the Book. If she didn’t touch it, if she didn’t have it, she would die. Immediately. She did not want to die.
She heard pursuit but did not look back. Looking back slowed you down.
But it didn’t matter. One of them caught up. Twilight found herself barreling face first into the dirt. Her nose felt broken. She tried to crawl but she made little progress.
“Twilight!” It was Applejack.
Twilight looked up and reached.
The world had gone mad. Nothing made sense. Her friends were not her friends. This town was not her town. Nothing made sense--but the Book made sense. The Project had meaning. She would make it back. She would be alive again. She just had to make it.
“Twilight! Get ahold of yourself! Snap out of it!”
She wanted to scream. She wanted to ask what had happened while she was away.
“It’s for your… dammit! Don’t kick me! It’s for your own good!”
Twilight snarled.
Rainbow Dash landed in front of her forehooves and pinned them.
Twilight’s horn flared… and nothing happened. Rarity, panting, had arrived and with her she brought a ring that Twilight recognized. And Twilight, who had only partially lost it, proceeded to lose it. She was like an animal--all traces of sapience or reason vanished.
Had she been aware, she would have felt a great shudder overtake her. She would have felt electric fire in her veins and the air sucked out of her lungs. She would have felt the despair unto death. She would have felt what it was like to die.
A few moments passed this way.
Twilight lay panting on the street. Applejack was on top of her. Rarity sprawled to the side, her mane drying in the sun, her just-manicured hooves filthy. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy slumped together, watching, waiting. Pinkie stood.
Twilight said nothing. Whether she was capable of thought or speech was dubious.
Rarity stirred. “Is it over, then?”
“I won’t say yes or no ‘till I”m sure,” Applejack said, her voice sagging with exhaustion. “She put up a hell of a fight.”
“You had to do it, dear.”
“Yeah.”
“How long has it been?” Fluttershy asked. “Celestia’s letter wasn’t that helpful.”
“Uh…. I don’t know when she left,” Pinkie said, pursing her lips. “But I think she’s been out of the tree for like thirty minutes now. Maybe? I don’t know. Where’d you find that ring, Rarity? It sure was helpful, but it’s a weird thing to have…”
Rarity coughed and looked away. Had Twilight been able to notice such things, she would have seen her flush. “A Lady has her ways, Pinkie. But let us return to the matter at hoof. Twilight. Is she conscious, Applejack?”
“Yup.”
“Then… Twilight? Twilight, can you hear me?”
No answer.
“Twilight, please, talk to us. We’re your friends.”
Silence.
“I know this must seem so strange to you. Frightening, even! It would to me… but you have to understand that we didn’t know what to do. We panicked!”
Twilight stirred. “I have to get back.”
“No,” Rarity answered, shaking her head. “No, you don’t. You simply cannot go back right now, Twilight. You can’t.”
Twilight began to shake. This was so wrong. So very wrong. Why would her friends do this? “But I have to… it’s important. Rarity, please! Applejack, you’re hurting me…”
“I’m not, either. I know I ain’t.”
“Please let me go.”
“I can’t, sugarcube. Wish I could.”
Twilight’s eyes began to water. “Please, I don’t understand.”
Rarity looked over at Fluttershy, and then to Applejack. Then she spoke. “I think you may be coming back to us, Twilight. Do you remember anything? About the last month, I mean.”
“No? I mean, not everything…” she whined. “I just want to go home. I have work to do.”
Rarity ground her teeth. “Yes, you do, don’t you?” But then she took a deep breath. “Twilight, I’m going to try and explain things to you, but first I need to know if it’s… if it’s you.”
Twilight stared at her. Tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her dirty cheeks. If its me? But I’m me. Who else would I be?
“Rarity, I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. Sh. It’s okay… it’s alright. Twilight, it’s alright. Don’t cry, darling. Please… Celestia said that it would be hard. I’m sorry we tackled you… I’m sorry that I put my nullification ring on you. I’d been carrying it around… I hoped I wouldn’t need it…”
“Celestia?” Twilight asked hazily. “But what would she know… I mean, what’s going on?”
“Twilight, can you explain your work to me?” Applejack asked.
Twilight blinked. Of course she could! This Project of hers was the seminal achievement of her life. It combined every shred of experience and will and knowledge she had! She could explain it. They might not understand but of course she could--
“It’s…” her voice warbled. “It’s complicated.”
“So you can’t.”
Twilight stared, wide-eyed, dumbfounded. “I… I’m… trying to.”
“But you can’t. Physically, you cannot,” Rarity supplied.
“Yes. Yes that’s right,” Twilight said, breathlessly.
“You found a book a month and a half ago, Twilight,” Applejack said in her ear. “You were pretty excited about it, and got to work translatin’ and writin’ like you do all the time.”
“Yeah, but then you got weird,” Rainbow Dash said.
“You became more reluctant to leave the library,” Fluttershy offered quietly. We didn’t notice anything was wrong at first. We just thought you were busy… we’re really sorry…”
“But you missed a pet playdate that you organized!” said Pinkie. “That’s when we knew something was up.”
“Yes, all of that,” Rarity continued smoothly. “We tried to talk to you, visit you, but found that at the best of times you were irritable and nonverbal and at the worst you were easily made murderously furious. Any distraction drove you into a tantrum. After two weeks or so, you stopped leaving for food. We had to bring food to you. Spike is staying at my house right now. He sleeps in Sweetie’s room… I took him with me, Twilight. You weren’t yourself…”
Twilight blinked. “But… I don’t…”
“Celestia said you wouldn’t want to believe it. We tried to make you leave, but you attacked anyone that got near you by the end. Applejack and I tried to rouse you only a few days ago, and you almost killed her with a bookshelf. And you don’t remember?”
Twilight shook her head frantically. “No… no, I would never do that--”
“You tried to bite a chunk out of my ear!” Pinkie said, a bit too cheerfully.
“No, I wouldn’t--”
“You were very angry,” Fluttershy all but whispered.
Twilight was speechless.
“Twilight, we have to keep you from going home. You can’t be near the book. It’s bad for you… Celestia said it was an old conjurer’s trick turned wrong. She said you would be able to figure out what I meant.”
Twilight struggled to put words and images to meanings. “I… I think I remember something about Classical era mages enchanting books to keep rivals from stealing their secrets or students from going ahead of their ability… I think… you couldn’t stop reading, but you never actually knew what you were reading? I guess.” She sounded so lost. Like a child.
“Sounds about right.”
“I still… I need to get back.”
Rarity shook her head. “You simply want to go back.”
“But it’s important.”
“The book is blank, Twilight. You’ve done no work. There is no… ah, Project, I think you said? You just stare and mumble and turn pages.”
“No… but I remember working! It was so important. I was so happy. Everypony would be so proud of me…”
“Twi,” Applejack whispered from atop her. “we were already proud of you. We love you. If I didn’t love you I woulda bailed the first time you kicked me, you know? You gotta let it go. The Princess said if you stayed away long enough you would be free.”
“But I was so happy.”
“You were a slave,” Applejack said, her voice strangely sharp.
“The Princess also said it would be frightening,” Rarity said as Twilight began to shake.
Twilight cried freely now. And now she knew her senses had been fogged over, for her eyes saw more clearly and she heard with renewed sharpness. She began to remember the book and how she had poured over pages of… nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was all true. All of it. She had been caught in the trap laid for her.
“I feel alone,” she said. “I feel empty. It’s going. I feel it going. What was it? What did it want? It made me so happy. I was finally happy always. I could work and hum and smile and be happy forever, and never feel alone. I would rather die.”
She wept bitterly.
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Good one.
That was indeed.. dark.
i wonder what the book really is maybe its something like the pony-nomicon in the sense it possesses ponies and makes them less like themselves and more like it
Wow. That was one of the best dark fics I've read, and I used to read dark fics exclusively. Good job!
Very nice, I liked this. Read while it was thundering quietly outside, and it somehow made it that much better.
This is a damn good story. Dark but not without being needlessly so. Twilight is traumatized but her friends are right there. It seems like she had managed to break free of the book just long enough to escape, to go to her friends. She iwll recover, but it is not gonna be an easy prospect.
This is how a story with a dark theme should be. Something is lost but there is hope of renewal.
It feels like an analogy for drug addiction...I liked this a lot, thanks for writing this!
Did anyone else start reading this under the impression that Twilight was either a manifested shade or animate corpse? Because I honestly thought so initially. The actual reveal was a total surprise to me, but very well done.
Why do I feel this is what would've happened if Twilight found the Inspiration Manifestation book that possessed Rarity?
She'd research it, but not remember anything about it, so she'd research more and lose herself in it...
Poor Twi
Twilight, will you EVER learn to do a proper thaumatic scan of a spell or spellbook to make sure it doesn't have any traps of side-effects?
Feh, and you're supposed to be the bearer of Magic! Bah!
Well, that was thoroughly disturbing.
But the ending... Twilight's immediate suffering aside, there's room for happiness. Ergo, I liked it.
6141537
Yeah, that though crossed my mind, too.
6141143 I am baffled I thought this one was kinda subpar...
6141383 I was thinking of similar things, so that's a reading I like
6141537 originally I considered doing that
6141605 huh! I had forgotten that episode! I guess my subconscious didn't!
6141615 heheh but she needs knowledge naooooo
6141712 I like hopeful endings. Surprisingly, sometimes
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
okay why was the comment i was praising the story with downvoted?
Interesting.
One word can sum up my toughts about the story... Woah
6141537
Aye.
The thing that slightly itches me is the nature of the book in question, and the fact it is an 'incidental' object. Who? Why? And most importantly: How? Yet, that was not in the intent of the story. It felt a bit 'stretched' the way Twilight ignored all situations (I realize it's a effect of the spell), but I would have loved it if it started more mundanely, progressively building horror. Anyway, really nice atmosphere building there.
Love the reference.
6141754
Maybe you were so overwhelmingly positive that you made someone grumpy (also typos). That happens. I don't think it is a good idea to post 'Why comment downvote?' right here in the story, as it only aggravates the situation. Just like me; I'm replying needlessly.
6141537 Eh, the fact it almost immediately mentions her beating heart dissuaded me of that notion
I thought she would have somehow been shut away for a long time and everyone she knew had grown old or died
Granted, I'd imagine her friends would've rescued her long before that, but maybe they weren't able to
Ah well, still quite a nice read
Moar please
.... Damn.
Argh! Another cliffhanger! Grr!
My heart was about to stop itself...
6141749
To me, that's one of the most important things about dark stories. Even if the light is nothing more than a candle's flame, when surrounded by darkness that flicker becomes brighter than it ever could have been. Hope in darkfics are like a stars set against the night sky.
...
Well, that's what I say, but the only dark story I have isn't like that at all.
6141778 I actually figured she had a heartbeat because she expected to feel one, not that it was actually pumping blood. My starting theory was she died during something stressful and dangerous, and her return to conciousness had her mind pick up from the last physcial sensations it remembered - elevated heartbeat and aching.
This was a good read: Nice one
Phasing finished the story, I have no idea what is going on.
I think I remember a old AD&D spell like this, catches you until you die. I am suprised though they left Twilight alone. Figured Celestia would have forcibly seperatists her from the book.
I really like your style, narration, and description, but I would really like to see this concept explored in a longer story. Other than wanting to see more, this is pretty good.
Poor Twilight. I wonder if she starts avoiding books on magic/scans everything before she reads it iincluding signs and flyers for traps.
6142033 Pfft, of course Celestia and Luna didn't save Twilight!
That would mean they'd have done something USEFUL!! And according to the show, there's no way they can ever be allowed to do that!
Dark stories with closure are a lot less dark than happy stories that get cancelled in the middle.
6142339 Nah, the sun and moon isn't important or anything.
6142339 Celestia is kind of useless. Isn't she?
6142464 Oh even Discord can make the sun and moon rise and fall! Celly and Loony are just there for eye-candy.
6141749
Ah, glad my musings weren't for nothing.
A question though--why wouldn't Celestia take the book away? Did I miss something reading this?
6142502 And Luna is so useless she can disappear for a season or two... and falls asleep during changeling invasions...
About the only thing she can do is help foals with their childish fears. And let's face it, Barney the Dinosaur can do that!
Yep, 'bout the only really useful Princess is Cadance... since she can be used as a projectile weapon.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/150514__UNOPT__safe_animated_princess-cadance_shining-armor_epic-wife-tossing_wifeapult.gif
6142591 I actually have a little headcanon where Luna storms into the Chapel during Chrysalis's villain song and beats the crap out of her
"I. WAS. TRYING. TO. SLEEP!"
Then, leaving Chrysalis a twitching heap, she goes back to bed
Cue awkward pause when Twilight and Cadence arrive
6142591
There. I fixed that terrible typo for you. :)
This... Is a new level of a breakdown that I have ever seen. Or conceived. Absolutely brilliant.
Twilight on the outside just seemed thoroughly... distant, even to a point where I would call her peeking into her own insanity.
But I wonder; Why the hell did Celestia NOT intervene? I mean, Rarity did have Spike. Unless this would have been another test for Twilight to figure out. Unfortunately, I do not think Celestia isn't really aware of Twilight's unstable physiology. Yet I feel as if that was exactly the case. To let Twilight know that there are somethings that you cannot crack, even with your friends. Twilight has shown that she could handle nearly anything with her friends. Until everything starts to fall on her shoulders. She would need to know when to stop since she is going to be Princess later on.
It just so happened to backfire. And did more than what was REALLY intended.
Or that's just me being deep about it... I don't know any more really. (
)
As bad as it is, it gets better. Works for me. Well done.
6142824
Aye, as wonderfully chilling as the story was, the fact that Celestia (or Luna ... or Cadence) didn't peel Twilight away from the book stands out as somewhat of a sore point. Celestia even knew what the book was, so you can't even sell it as a test of Twilight's character (and if it was intended to be, Celestia needs to be smacked upside her head with that same book. Several times), because she is being influenced by a mind-raping spell.
I know the older Princesses aren't portrayed as overly (or at all, really) competent in the show, but a task as simple as keeping Twilight physically away from the book for 30 minutes or so ... well, it comes across as borderline criminally negligent not to do so.
Doubly so because Twilight would have evidently starved herself to death if her friends hadn't kept bringing her food, not to mention the risk that Twilight could have easily killed the lot of them had she snapped a wee bit too harshly during one of her apparently many outbursts - it really wouldn't take much from someone with Twilight's magical power to murder someone else if she isn't keeping check on what she's doing. Them eventually dogpiling Twilight was incredibly risky as well, for the exact same reason - because if they had angered Twilight to the point of murderous rage before managing to disable her, this would have likely ended in many a funeral.
By comparison, either Celestia or Luna (or even Cadence) likely could restrain a barely coherent Twilight with little in the way of mortal danger to themselves. I can understand them not doing it if there was some mental danger associated with violently separating the subject from the enchanted object in question, but that doesn't seem to be the case - all that was needed was forced physical separation for less than an hour. Something, it feels like, either Princess should have been able to easily provide 30 minutes after they were made aware of the situation.
I couldn't help but feel disappointed. It was built up as some great and terrible artifact that was almost Lovecraftian in nature. That invokes a very specific type of fear in stories that would make the absence of the other princesses understandable. Loneliness and dealing with troubles infinitely beyond a character's scope of frame of reference are par for the course. If that was the truth behind the book, it would be very understandable to limit all possible contact with it, thus explaining why people never ventured into the workspace.
But if it's just some undergrad dickhead's excuse to screw over his classmates? That's hardly a reason for this to have gone on for so long. It creates a great disparity that's handwaved here and doesn't do the final punch any favors. Sorry. You had an excellent setup, but the payoff was subpar at best.
6143245
That wasn't happiness; that was satiation. The book was filling an enforced need, not enforcing positive Pavlovian enforcement. She can say she was happy, but that's not happiness. From a character perspective we don't see her fully immersed in the book, so that's out. From a reader's meta perspective, her own statements are tainted with biased because it's a cursed artifact, so that can't be believed either. That's not happiness. The book is a narcotic. There's a word for that: infohazard.
And the why is very important because the why would explain why no one called the princesses when Twilight was dealing with a clearly cursed artifact. Depending on the curse and the source, it explains that plot hole. As only one is given, I have no choice but to believe that one because I would otherwise have to step into unsubstantiated Devil's Paradox territory. The curse and by extension the reason why a princess did/didn't come is very important.
6142339 My guess is one of two possibilities: the only way Celestia (for example) could stop Twilight while close to the book would be to literally kill her, or they were worried that Twilight would know how to use Tirek's spell and potentially become even more dangerous. (Remember that Twilight was able to copy Rarity's Cutie Mark spell by having watched it be cast once.)
... what the flank just happened?
All I can think about now is Twilight laying on the floor like XXXX at the end of Layer Cake, except not dying, and with her friends not screaming and panicking.
This reminds me too much of a Steven King novel. Especially the very anticlimactic and somewhat disappointing ending.
Also, the issue was serious enough to force Spike to move out, but not enough to ask for princesses's help or even confront her directly? Just doesn't feel right when you think about Spike, just sitting in Sweetie Belles room and hoping that it works out eventually?
I like the story, the narraiton is good and I like the plot. Here have a like and a fav
Very well written. I really like stories that explore the mind, and you have written a wonderful story about this 'curse'.
6143438 they mention having tried to confront her. At one point an attempt to drag her out almost got someone crushed by a bookshelf--unless a Gdoc glitch took that out which is possible. The letter implies communication with the princess.
They did try. Twilight fought them off, and wouldn't leave the book by force. So they waited, and were still unprepared because it's your friend and you don't know what to do. The same way you know it's your friend on the couch looking like he died after whatever the hell he just took but you also feel like he is an alien