Officer Pie, On Patrol
A thin, freckled man rubbed his face, sighing as he opened the drive-thru window. “We’re not open yet, Miss Pie.”
Pinkie sat in her car, the window rolled down and pointed at the employee. “Weeell, technically you are now, silly. Besides, it’s oooonly…” She gazed to her dashboard. “One minute and twenty two seconds until you do open!”
The man put a palm over his face, masking his rolling eyes. “Yes but—”
“Also, it’s Officer Pie to you, mister bister,” Pinkie cut in, giggling to herself.
Suddenly he blinked, looking at her directly. “Sorry. Officer. Ma’am.”
“Aw, it’s fine. We’re all in the same boat here; only reason I’m bothering you is ‘cause I didn’t even have time to make breakfast!” Pinkie explained. “I won’t order anything big, Pinkie Promise.” She moved around, making the motions of her honored pact, despite the confines of her seatbelt.
The man absently scratched his head. “Er, right.”
Pinkie leaned forward, stretching her seatbelt to its limit. Narrowing her eyes, she read the name tag on the guy. “Flip! That’s a good name, Flip. What do you say you whip up something good for me and I’ll be on my way!”
“Well—”
“I’m sure your boss won't mind if you bend the rules juuuust a teensy-weensy bit to help out an officer of the law, would he? Or she.” Pinkie tilted her head. “Is she a she? Or he a he?”
A wave of creases appeared on Flip’s forehead. “He’s a—sure, whatever. He won’t mind. What do you need?”
Pinkie cleared her throat, counting the items on her fingers. “Cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, large fries, lemonade, whipped vanilla ice cream.” She smiled sweetly at him. “Got all that?”
Flip nodded, writing it all down and passing it along to someone unseen to Pinkie. “Yep. Next window, please.”
“Sweet!” Pinkie put her hands on the wheel, starting her car back up. “Hey Flip?”
“Huh? “
“Fight the good fight, brother. Morning shift bros for life, woo!” Throwing a fist into the air, she drove to the next window, leaving Flip in her wake, leaning out of his window and staring after her.
The next window opened up, a young woman standing behind it this time. “That’ll be six ninety nine,” she droned, not looking at Pinkie she held out her hand.
“Sec!” Pinkie said, rummaging around in her wallet for a note and some pennies, before squirming and shifting about, arms wrapping themselves around her body as they searched pockets, the seatbelt getting twisted and tested as she searched high and low.
“There!” Pinkie cried, placing the small pile of correct change in the woman’s hand. Behind her the seatbelt twitched and quivered. The woman didn’t even notice as Pinkie suddenly got pulled back into her chair, almost knocking her seat back.
“Next window,” she said.
“Uh, cool,” Pinkie replied. “Thanks.”
Coming up to the next window, she came up to an even less talkative worker, who just passed over the food without a word. Sighing, Pinkie put everything in the seat next to her and drove off out of the drive-thru, down the road.
“School time, I guess.”
Canterlot High felt as vibrant and alive as it ever had been in Pinkie’s day. Well, at least at the end of the day. During the morning it felt like a zombie apocalypse. She allowed herself a little giggle as she sat there in her car, munching away, watching schoolkids reluctantly head towards that old building. Heads were lowered, gaits lazy and movements lacking in luster. A typical school start.
It was a simple task today. Keep an eye on the kids, make sure no funny business happened, the usual. The neighbourhood was far from dangerous but it was better to be safe than sorry. The fact that Pinkie loved kids and didn’t mind early starts was just a bonus to the police force. A content smile spread its way across Pinkie’s lips.
A knock on her window shattered that.
“Hey, Pinks,” Rainbow said, tapping again.
Letting out a little excited breath, Pinkie quickly put the window down. “Hey, Dashie! Ready for another day of school?”
Dash shrugged, adjusting the strap of her sports bag on her shoulder. “Already had my coffee, so yeah, I guess. I’ll probably need another once I get in though.”
“Aww, didn’t get much sleep last night?” Pinkie asked, leaning one arm out the window.
Dash snorted. “You try completing a whole bunch of boring schoolwork.”
Pinkie just gave her a blunt stare. “Dash, you have literally the least paper-worky job in that whole building. Even less than the janitor, I bet.”
“Hey, you have no idea!” Dash retorted. “I make my students do some essays occasionally. Things about the body ‘n’ all that, y’know? Gotta know how it all works so you know your limits.”
Pinkie snickered, turning to face forward and gaze at the view. “If you say so, Miss Dash.”
“Alright then, Officer. Anyway, was just checking to see when your lunch break today was,” Rainbow said.
“Ummmm…” Pinkie drawled out, rubbing her forehead with her index finger. “Probably around the same time as yours?”
Rainbow folded her arms. “You sure about that?”
“Barring any unexpected crises, yeah,” Pinkie replied, nodding.
Rainbow gave her a look. “Right. Well, I’ll catch you then.”
“Later!” Pinkie said, waving to Rainbow as she walked off. Finishing off her burger, she licked each of her grease covered fingertips, watching her friend go towards the school.
“I’m here! I’m here!” Pinkie called out, running over to a bench near the school and planting herself down next to Rainbow.
“About time,” she muttered, glancing at the paper bag Pinkie was holding. “Doughnuts? Really?” Dash asked as Pinkie plucked them out. “You’re a cop. That’s the most cliché thing ever.”
“So?” Pinkie said, taking a bite of one. “They’re tasty.”
“Can’t argue with you there,” Rainbow said, arm rested against the back of the bench.
“Anywaaaaaay, how’s life, Dashie?” Pinkie asked.
“Same as it ever was, really,” Rainbow replied, finishing up her sandwich. “I got a message from Fluttershy, you know.”
Pinkie pressed up right against Dash, grinning. “Oh! Really?”
Rainbow gently nudged her away. “Yeah. Didn’t you get one?”
“Nah. Thought she was busy in that safari,” Pinkie replied, licking her frosting covered fingertips.
“Apparently one of the rhinos had a baby,” Dash said.
“Is that good?”
“Apparently really great.” Dash took a quick swig of her energy drink. “Since they’re endangered and all that. She sounded thrilled.”
“Huh.” Pinkie sat back in her chair, looking up at the clouds. “Wonder why she didn’t tell me.”
“I think I’m the only one she did tell. You know what she’s like: totally modest. Sometimes I swear I’m her mouthpiece,” Rainbow said.
“I suppose…” Pinkie slowly smiled, fluffy clouds floating overhead. “She’s so lucky to be out there, doing what she loves.”
“Yeah. It’s pretty cool for her.” Dash looked at the shiny badge on Pinkie’s chest. “Hey, Pinks? Can I ask you something?”
“As if you’d need to ask to ask!” Pinkie chirped.
Rainbow simply ignored her reply. “Why did you become a cop?”
“Because I like being a cop, duh,” Pinkie answered, sipping some soda.
“That’s a terrible answer and you know it,” Rainbow objected, prodding Pinkie’s chest. “I mean, I thought you were going to go into baking or something. Or heck, be a clown or a comedian. A cop seems a bit…”
“Serious?” Pinkie finished.
“Er, yeah.”
Pinkie waved a hand in the air. “It’s cool. Can’t blame you for thinking like that. I did want to go into comedy. I mean, that’d be awesome! Making thousands of people across the world laugh and experience tons of joy—that’s fantastic!”
“So why didn’t you?”
Pinkie frowned. “Geeze, I’m getting to that, Dashie. So impatient…” Taking a breath, she continued, “As much as I’d love being a comedian, it’s all a bit showbizzy-tizzy.” Pinkie held up a hand so she could explain. “I mean, like, you’re in the spotlight all the time if you get famous—that’s kinda a big if too but work with me here—and everyone’s gonna be watching whatever you do, whatever you say… I think it just wouldn’t feel fun after a bit. You see on the news, right, people getting harassed for saying something they shouldn’t and we aaaaall know I’ve done that a buncha times so…”
Pinkie rolled her shoulders. “It’s not for me, I think. Here though, working as a cop? It’s local and small scale but here I can really connect with people. Make the community a better, safer place. ‘Cause cops do a lot more than fight crime, they help people out. They’re not exactly the protectors of the community, they’re a part of it too. You get it?”
“Damn, Pinkie, that’s…” Dash wiggled her lips. “You put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you?”
“Maybe,” Pinkie said, holding out a hand, before putting out the other and saying, “Buuuut I think about lots of things in life.”
“Have you ever shot anyone then?”
Pinkie blinked. “What? No! I mean, occasionally I’ve held a gun at someone but I’ve never…” She pouted and crossed her arms. “That’s a mean question, Dashie.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Rainbow amended, holding up a hand. “I just had to ask.”
“We both know this place is pretty calm. Plus there’s a ton of other officers on the force that do all the nasty stuff. I’m kinda around and about town, making sure everything’s fine and dandy.” She scrunched up her bag, staring at the school. “Kinda what I did at school, really.”
Pinkie tossed her bag into a nearby bin, then looked to Dash. “Why did you stay?”
An eyebrow was quirked. “What do you mean?”
“Well I thought you’d be a super famous athlete winning all the gold medals,” Pinkie explained.
“Oh, that.” Rainbow leant back against the bench, stretching her legs. “I thought I would too but, I dunno, I sort of mellowed out maybe…? It’d be real badass to win worldwide competitions, not gonna lie. At the same time though, I guess I’d always be busy. Training, training then training some more. I like training but sheesh, I like to have some other fun too.”
Watching some students play football nearby, she said, “Maybe I’m like you then; don’t like all the fame stuff. And being a teacher, I can at least inspire young people face to face. Get them to work really hard. Not just in sports but in any aspect of their life. All the teachers when we were in school were dull as hell…”
“What about Celestia and Luna?” Pinkie questioned.
“Pfft, when were they ever around except for important events?” Dash covered a yawn, raising her arms up. “Whatever. I’m here now. Barely scraped by to get into the position but I guess those two sisters saw something in me.”
“I do too,” Pinkie said, wrapping an arm around Rainbow.
Dash stuck her tongue out, snickering quietly and returning the hug. “You big softie.”
“You big tsundere,” Pinkie replied.
Dash stopped. “What?”
“It’s a weird anime thing.”
“Right…” Rainbow checked her phone, then suddenly sat up straight, swearing under her breath. “Gotta go. Lunch is almost over and I gotta prepare another lesson.”
“Aaaaw, that’s lame.” Pinkie got off the bench with Dash, smiling at her. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Yeah, ‘course. Not like we’re going anywhere,” Dash remarked.
Pinkie held up a finger. “Us and Applejack.”
“Yeah, us three ol’ reliables.” Dash looked towards the school for a moment. “Later, Pinks.” Giving her a short wave, she walked towards the building.
“Bye Dashie!” Pinkie said, ecstatically waving after her. Getting up, she dusted down her uniform and headed back to her car, turning on the radio to a low volume as she went back on her watch.
School was over but Pinkie had to stick around for over an hour longer. She knew all about the after school clubs. Especially after having founded nearly half of them herself. Sitting in her car as the sun slowly went down, she tapped her dashboard.
“Twenty nine… aaaaaaand… half-past. Neat.” Turning on the ignition, Pinkie grabbed the wheel and drove down the road, keeping exactly to the speed limit. Except when she slowed down for the speed bumps.
Her trip would take her through the outer suburbs of the town, towards the bustling center. One could always tell when they reached it due to the buildings becoming a lot duller in color, uniformity becoming more of a standard. Tall flats were packed tightly together and although they may have had different heights and bricks, ultimately they were really just the same.
The streetlights flickered on as Pinkie drove on by, keeping an eye on the road as well as her surroundings. Avoiding the main rush hour jam, she turned down a smaller street, retracing an old reliable shortcut the force had told her about.
She came by a long wall, the brick gradually eroding away. Parking on the sidewalk, she went by a couple paces until she came up to a fresh mural. The word ‘REBEL’ was streaked across a part of the wall, colored in a mix of red, yellow and black paint. Every word was stylized, almost looking a bit bubbly, except the ‘L’ which wasn’t quite finished.
The teen froze when Pinkie coughed.
“That’s not a nice thing to do,” Pinkie said.
The young man, red hair streaked with green, jumped and swiveled to face her. One glance of her badge and he froze, dropping his paint canister. It clattered on the ground, the sound almost echoing in the street. “I—uh…”
Pinkie looked to the graffiti, humming to herself. “‘REBEL’. If that’s what you wanna be, then you’re the wrong type.” Glancing down at the kid, she kept her voice calm, saying, “Bad rebels just wanna cause chaos and ruin everything for everybody. Good rebels think outside the box and break conventions without breaking the law and destroying everyone’s fun. ‘Cause they are fun themselves.”
She took a measured step closer. “You get me?”
The teenager said nothing, words trapped in his throat.
Pinkie sighed, getting out a notepad and a pen. “What’s your name?”
“W-Wildfire,” he stammered.
“Ooo, that’s a good one.” Scribble scribble scribble. “Well Wildfire, this is bad but not super duper bad. What I’m gonna have to do is take you to the station, call your parents, have them pick you up and we can have you clean this mess up. ‘Kay?”
Shrinking, Wildfire put his hands in his baggy pockets. “Not like I have a choice, right?”
“Nope!” Pinkie cheerfully replied, gently guiding him to the car. Sitting back in the driver’s seat, she looked in the rear view mirror to check his seatbelt was on, then set off.
After passing by a couple of buildings, Pinkie gave Wildfire a quick glance through the mirror. “Why’d you do it?”
“I dunno,” he moped, nudging the front seat with his trainer.
“‘I dunno’,” Pinkie copied. “C’mon, everyone has a reason to do anything. Reasons are what make the world go around!”
Wildfire just shuffled around, ending up leaning against the door.
“Seriously, why did you do it?” Pinkie asked. “Not everyone wants to see graffiti everywhere.”
“Uh, graffiti,” Wildfire moaned.
“What’s that?”
“It’s art, not graffiti,” he stressed.
Pinkie hid a smirk from him, stopping at a red light. “Maybe to you it is. Others? Not so much.”
Wildfire grunted. “How do you know that?”
Pinkie responded with a soft little shrug. “It’s just a fact of life. Nothing is universally liked. Not even water, some people are allergic to it. Isn’t that mental?”
Silence from the backseat.
“Geeze, that’s two questions you’ve ignored. The youth of today…” Pinkie made a series of loud tuts. “Now, seriously: why paint the wall?”
“I like painting,” Wildfire murmured.
Pinkie snapped her fingers. “There we go! Finally. So, you like painting. Why can’t you just do it on some paper or something?”
Wildfire blew some hair out of his face. “Nobody’s ever gonna see that. Why would they?”
“Because it’s good?” Pinkie said.
Wildfire paused.
“I mean it. It was simple but I’ve seen some graffiti that didn’t even make sense. Or the paint totally sucked,” Pinkie explained. “Kinda shows you care about it a lot if you use materials that aren’t total trash.”
“Whatever. Even if it is good, no one's gonna bother to stop and take notice of me,” he grumbled, staring out of the window.
“Maybe not now but if you keep trying—the nice and honest way—I’m sure you’ll get there!” Pinkie cheered.
Wildfire mumbled some form of acknowledgement.
“Yup. I’m totally sure of it.” Pinkie shifted gears, gradually coming to a stop outside the police station. “Maybe sooner than ya think.”
Opening the door for Wildfire, Pinkie escorted him into the station, coming up to a fellow officer at a desk. “Hiya Bon Bon.”
Bon Bon glanced up from her mess of paperwork. “Hey Pinkie. Who’s the kid?”
“Just some troublemaker I caught graffiting not too far away.” Pinkie smiled sweetly at her. Almost unsettlingly so.”Can I get you to do all the paperworky stuff and get his mum to come by?”
Bon Bon huffed, grabbing a chunky phone book and flipping through the names. “Uh-huh.”
“Great! We’ll just sit here. Thanks so much!” Pinkie said, sitting with Wildfire on a bench in the lobby.
“You’re definitely buying doughnuts tomorrow now,” Bon Bon said, pointing a pen at Pinkie.
Pinkie swung one leg over another, relaxing against the wall. “When you make good on that bet and bring in a chocolate fountain, then we’ll see about doughnuts.”
“What?! How was I meant to know you could fit that many marshmallows in your mouth?!” Bon Bon spluttered. Glaring daggers at Pinkie’s cheeky grin, she grumbled and went back to the books.
“Uh…” Wildfire started.
“Yeah?” Pinkie replied.
“That was weird…” he said, scratching his cheek.
“It sure was! I almost couldn’t breathe, there were so many!” Pinkie exclaimed, throwing up her hands.
“No, I mean, like, that whole deal between you and her—” Wildfire twiddled with his fingers, “—it was weird.”
“‘Course it was. Cops are people too, y’know. Just like you!” Pinkie said, prodding his chest. “Only older. And not breaking the law.” Upon a few more prods, Wildfire halted, blinking slowly. Pinkie just smiled knowingly. “I love it when the bubble bursts.”
“W-What?”
“Cops. They’re just people. Most think we’re super law enforcement robots or something, built to lock people up and be scary. Grr!” Pinkie giggled, which came with a snort. “It’s not like that. Never has been. Most of us are just people who want to serve and protect their community.”
“It’s true,” Bon Bon added. “Plus shooting bad guys is awesome.”
“Okay, sometimes it is a thrill.” Pinkie shook her head affably at Bon Bon, then turned back to Wildfire. “Point is we’re total normies.”
Wildfire just made a thoughtful noise, looking through the room. Coupled with the important looking posters and documents pinned up on walls and noticeboards, there were much more special things dotted occasionally between them all. Photos of the squad during a happy moment, or drawings of appreciation by children. Here and there, parts of the town were hung up around the room.
Pinkie followed his gaze, speaking quietly, “We could use another painting in here, you know…”
Wildfire’s eyes suddenly flashed, a trembling smile with a streak of inspiration across his lips. “Really?”
“Sure!” Pinkie merrily replied. “We could always use more, right Bon Bon?”
Bon Bon shrugged. “Don’t see why not.”
“Exactly. So get that creative brain of yours churning away,” Pinkie lightly ordered.
“On it!” Wildfire announced.
Pinkie smiled, a smile that quickly turned into a wicked grin. “You’re still cleaning up your earlier work though.”
Wildfire’s mother had collected him from the station little over an hour ago. Pinkie had stuck around, sorting out some of the lamer more papery parts of her work, as well as catching up with some colleagues.
Heading through the main lobby, she brushed over Bon Bon’s hair. “Working late tonight?”
Bon Bon gave the barest of efforts to nod. “Yeah.”
“Give me a couple of minutes then,” Pinkie said, stepping out of the station.
Bon Bon pinched her forehead, flipping over a sheet of paper and scribbling some important notes, signatures and the bureaucratic like. Perhaps half an hour or so went by before the doors swung open again, Pinkie marching in with purpose.
A pink box slammed onto the desk right in front of Bon Bon, sending some smaller sheets flying away from the blast. “Pinkie!”
Pinkie simply raised her index finger, opening the box with her free hand. The deep frown on Bon Bon’s rapidly changed to a smirk, her hand reaching in and plucking out a doughnut with white frosting.
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Bon Bon said, taking a bite out of the sugary treat. Closing her eyes briefly, she savored the sugary sensation. “You didn’t have to do this.”
Pinkie shrugged, swiveling on her foot and heading back to the exit. “Just doing my part for the community!”
Bon Bon snorted, looking to the front doors, Pinkie already gone from the station. “What a corny son of a gun.”
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Lovely little one-shot. Needed this after all the cop drama us Yanks have been dealing with lately.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/882340__safe_solo_animated_screencap_bowtie_discovery+family_waving_spoiler-colon-s05e05_tanks+for+the+memories_fluffy+clouds.gif
Enjoyed it in the Writeoff, enjoyed it here. Though I do wonder whatever happened to Rarity. And why Wildfire never considered the Internet as a way to get his art out there. I suppose he prefers real materials.
Still, a novel interpretation of what human Pinkie Pie might do with her life. Celebrity really isn't her, but being a pillar of her community? That works. (Besides, she has an excuse to eat all the doughnuts she can stomach.)
I could totally see Pinkie doing this
#headcanonupdated
Nice, fluffy little slice-of-life story, good soft read...this is the kind of thing we need to be reminded of, in these troubled times, about police officers. That they're not all cold-blooded racist murderers. That some of them truly ARE public servants.
Anyway, you want to get this edited. I caught a half dozen or so errors in the first few paragraphs alone, and a lot more sprinkled throughout. I'd pick through it for you but I'm a little busy at the moment.
I really loved this story; It was so sweet and simple. I especially love how unique and logical it was. Obviously, I haven't read every fic out there, but I have never seen anything go in this direction before, especially with Pinkie. The characterization were really good, it had a nice message at the end, and it felt so much like an actual day in the life of cop Pinkie. The humanization of the graffiti kid was a nice touch too; we're all human, after all. Wonderful work! :D
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In the competition, someone posted the exact same gif in relation to the same line.
Something just got confirmed.
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Rarity is working her fashion career in Manehattan, or some other big city. I didn't explicitly state that in the fic because it would've felt a bit telly to just outright state what each of the Mane 6 are doing. What I hoped is to show it through Rainbow commenting on how herself, Pinkie and AJ are the 'ol' reliables'.
If I continued with this idea (which I likely will), expect to see Rarity pop up at some point. Sunset too, although she's doing something super important.
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Exactly one of the messages I wanted to convey. The people who risk their lives for us on a daily basis need more recognition.
Very nice one-off. I'd never really thought about Pinkie Pie as a cop before, but the way you handled her definitely makes sense. After all, she's a very community-minded pony/person who wants to make the world a better, happier place.
This was a nice little one-shot if I say so myself. Very interesting take to Pinkie Pie's character which is usually made to follow the status quo of the show or some of the more controversial fanfics. I always love when an another puts effort into adding onto Pinkie's character instead of throwing her out to the readers as the comedic effect. Definitely adding it to the fav's.
I gotta admit, there aren't many stories anymore that can leave me with a genuine smile on my face.
Sure I can laugh about something when a chapter ends, but comedy can only go so far with comedy fics. When you can have someone feel good about their day afterward, you know you done something right.
Overall there isn't much for me to say that hasn't been said already. But all I can hope for is that I could encounter more fics like this in the future and maybe hope that my own weird writing can someday reach a level of professionalism like this.
It was so nice, I smiled twice. Very good entry, sad to see it didn't make it to the finals, though.
Thanks for writing this.
This was a bit strange, I think. Not sure how I feel about it. Definitely nicely written, but there wasn't much there. It took a kinda deep topic and simpliflied it... too much, perhaps. Sanitized it, if you will. Not sure I like that.
I loved how Pinkie handled Wildfire.
Congrats on the feature
That cover image though.
media.giphy.com/media/ddd0HBTakik00/giphy.gif
Wait, WHAT???
Loved it!
Nice... really nice.
I always wondered what Pinkie would be if she had a real job as a human, the same problems of a comedian you have her of course is present, but I also saw it as a rather lonely profession, Pinkie likes to make a real emotional connection to people she laughs with so it wasn't really an option, also baker but it seemed rather stereotypical, it was a job, she was good at it but I didn't really see it as being 'her' job.
A cop... now that made a lot of sense how you explained it, being connected to the community at large and inspiring others to have happy life's for the future, it seems to fit her to a 'T', at least from a quiet town perspective.
I now want a fic where Pinkie is a police officer again, but not a oneshot and instead slice of life mixed in with a little action cop styled awesomeness like you'd see from a movie.
PINKIE PIE STYLE!
This is a great idea of Pinkie's character, here's a favorite.
Very eye catching cover, where did you find it?
6134594
I would love to see more of this sort of thing. I think this works even better with EG Pinkie.
I particularly like her time with Rainbow Dash it just felt right.
sequel pls
Who's the artist for the cover?
This was awesome, you are an amazing writer my friend
new headcanon acquired
6135392
6135604
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Artist is someone called Daikoku
Linking the derpibooru page here because they don't seem to use deviant art. Plus they speak a whole separate language.
Seriously, why are some of the best humanized artists found in the far east?
Thumbs up for quality of execution only.
This was a very distressing story.
Haven't read yet, but the concept means I have to ask: if Pinkie Pie is a cop, does that make her-
The Fun Police?
Your British is showing,
6136454
"Mandatory fun days for everyone!"
This was a pleasant surprise. I never would have thought of a premise like this, but you made it work and I liked it. My only complaint is about the conversation between Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. It stalled the action so you could just tell us her motivation. If I were writing it, I would either cut that conversation altogether and just show Pinkie's motivation through her actions, or make it the climax of the story to explain everything after you'd shown it.
So Dash turned out to be one of those people who peaked in high school, then came back as a teacher so she could try to relive it?
....Ok, that's scarily accurate.
Every good cop dreads the day that their weapon comes out of its holster and has to be used.
This is an odd but somehow plausible look at adult human!Pinkie's life choices. I can see her choosing to be a community cop. After all, what better way to make everyone happy than to serve and protect?
Of course, after the revelations of 'Slice of Life', we know that Officer Bonbon is actually a former FBI special agent from another city under the Witness Protection Program. Her real name is Sweetie Drops.
this needs more starship trooper lines
"ARE YOU DOING YOUR PART ?!"
xD but it was fun
Loathe to admit it, I didn't particularly like this.
Sorry, Jake, I'm about to leave a horribly long and negative comment here. Didn't realize this would happen when I started typing, so I'm adding this disclaimer here to cement in that I think you're a pretty cool dude, and that I really do like the concept. It's incredibly original, certainly, and that in itself is a point of pride.
It's well-written in large parts, certainly, technically speaking. As in, the technical aspects of your writing are quite strong. A few niggling dropped words here and there, but all of them are certainly things I wouldn't have noticed if I'd been enjoying myself more.
The biggest problem is that this is almost entirely dry exposition of your headcanon. You've had a genuinely interesting idea and, rather than follow it through, you've had Pinkie loudly announce the reasons for her life choices to everyone she runs across. Literally, in the first scene, to a drive-thru team.
You don't give her a real situation to prove her grit, either. it's perfectly fine when Pinkie just has to deal with a spray tagger of this kind, her kind of light touch might be great there, and it's a fantastic scene when they actually get caught, but a lot of the time police officers don't get to pick and choose who they deal with, and not everyone is as simple as that. I don't think Pinkie has the... I don't think Pinkie could handle the darker pockets of society, and this story did nothing to assuage those concerns.
Even in the case of the spray tagger, a situation that was heartwarming yet incredibly twee. What does Pinkie do when she learns that the kid is out tagging because, say, the alternative is being at home with a horribly abusive single parent? She can't keep the kid. Law demands she hand them back over to that situation. There's nothing she can do to deal with the parent either. She's just got to watch it happen, and hope she can catch the kid tagging again soon so she can talk to them again before they end up in a much worse situation then they're already in.
I don't mean to get all dark in My Little Pony. This is a safe and fun and happy place of magical sparkles. And magical Sparkles. The problem is that the way you've portrayed this, now, it's a non-story in which nothing happens except the premise is explained, as loudly and as often as possible, and it's done in such a way as to be vaguely condescending to law enforcement -- any members of said, please feel free to correct me on that one, I'm talking from the experience of a police family, not as a police officer myself here (and if Jake himself is one I'm going to feel an utter tool) -- without ever proving Pinkie's competent, or even incompetent, at her job.
I'm going to go back to the "police family" thing, because I'm going to try to talk from what little experience I have, rather than just from conjecture and stereotypes. I think the best example for my point would be my grandfather, a detective in the little town of Tamworth, Australia. It's about as small as a town can be without becoming one of those towns with a population so small they are in and of themselves a problem. Probably the happiest size a town can be for law enforcement to deal with. Pretty comparable to the setting of EG in a lot of ways. Small, but urbanized and with a strong local education system.
Professional duties involve cleaning up after suicides both physically and emotionally, drug deals gone bad, houses that reek so badly of corpse that you need to take a slug of brandy at the threshold, interviewing the families of missing children absolutely poker-faced because you know the odds of getting them back after this long are so low but you can't break the professional mask. One time PaNumbers had to miss Christmas lunch with his family because he had to clean up after a murder involving power tools and a little girl the same age as his daughter. That's a particularly awful example from a long career, but it's not unique.
Even if this isn't all Pinkie has to do. Even if this isn't most of what Pinkie has to do. Even if she gets to do her community service almost all of the time. One day, Pinkie's still going to be at a railroad track at some point with a thin red paste over here and a head over there and she's going to have to cope with that. How? How does Pinkie Pie deal with that? A vehicular collision is infinitely worse than a demon at the prom.
Some of the worse things only happened after he started advancing through the detective ranks. It's understandable Pinkie wouldn't be subjected to all of this, again. How does Pinkie handle working with the people that do, though? Does she help them cope? Do they brush her off as hopelessly naive, if not downright insulting and infuriating?
It made references to her maybe one day having to draw her gun and point it at people -- again, delivered entirely through expositional sentences like "that's a mean question Rainbow Dash Who I Have Conveniently Never Discussed My Life Choices With Until Now"[1] -- but instead focused on her being a light and fluffy Good Cop who didn't want to think about it.
That's fine. That's what Pinkie wants to be. Great. We covered that, though.
But what we didn't cover was anything else. There's no conflict. There's no real character exploration. Just a lot of expositional dialogue. Pinkie Pie has achieved her goal and has no issues with it, and now it's the audience's job to work backwards.
We don't even get to see Pinkie struggle through her training working out if this is really what she wants to do. It's already happened and she's done it offscreen. Apparently with no issues, when over a third of her classmates statistically dropped out. No worries. Man, a montage of Pinkie doing a defensive driving course would have been fantastic, come to think. Her poor, poor instructor.
Then inflicting those lessons upon Rainbow Dash...
Echem. Anyway.
It was a genuinely really interesting idea, if you couldn't tell by me having little recursive bursts of delighted inspiration there even after writing so vitriolic a comment, and I could absolutely dig further exploration of the concept. I'm sorry I've left such a long and negative comment on this, truly. and I'm glad I'm in the minority thinking this. I hope you enjoy the feature box and I hope this came across more helpful than unrepentant bastardry. I'm going to add a little disclaimer to the top, I think.
[1] But that's another complaint entirely.
EDIT: I want to stress; My solution isn't simply "Make it darker". I don't need a story where Officer Pie wretches at a roadside next to a hunk of twisted and bloody metal. I don't think anyone wants that. I'm giving extreme examples here. It's just that, if you're going to do a story where you emphasize that police officers are normal, everyday human beings who do this kind of work, it should be remembered that the work they do isn't for normal, everyday people. Stuff that I've mentioned would be happening in the background. I really want to know if Pinkie would still be able to handle that tagger with the grace and kindness she did now after being in that career for another six months. I really want to know how she'd do that.
Pinkie acting like Pinkie isn't enough for me here. Pinkie somehow remaining Pinkie just might be.
6135827 Who's the artist of your avatar? xp
Nice! Got to say I've never envisioned Pinkie (human or pony) as a cop, but you sell the concept very well. It's neat to see such an unusual take on her, done so well.
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To begin with, thanks for the detailed comment. It's clear that you didn't write it to be malicious or anything, which is something I can really respect. So hopefully my response will seem just as non-threatening.
One disclaimer before I start though: this was written for a contest with a limited time frame. Three days, I think. As a result it's not the longest fic and perhaps I could've added more things onto it before publishing but from the responses I got in the competition, I figured it was in an acceptable state as it is.
She doesn't really announce any reasons for being a cop in this scene. Sure, she says she is one but that's because it's the first scene. It's kinda needed.
As for Pinkie dealing with grit, I think she could. In the shown Pinkie's shown to be brave, although she can be over dramatic at time. More often than not, she doesn't back down from a fight, especially if her friends are involved. I think with the task of protecting a community she loves on her shoulders, she would be brave enough to deal with the nastier parts of society.
That said, it's something I do want to explore someday. Most likely in a longer, more detailed story!
Interestingly, something like this was going to be in the fic but I ran out of time before I could put it in and make it good. Although given the tone of the fic beforehand, it may have been too sudden a punch in the gut to readers.
Totally the opposite of what I wanted to convey and I'm sorry it came out like that to you. The point was to show that police officers aren't just things that show up at crimes, dealing with criminals etc. They're people too, just like you and me.
With your detective example (also much respect to your grandfather for doing such a task), even if you do acknowledge that Pinkie isn't a detective, I think you overestimate the amount of bad cops come across. In today's media, what do we hear about? Mostly bad. A cop isn't going to tell you he helped an old woman cross the road safely because it's not as shocking as cold-blooded murder. Bad things tend to stick with us a lot longer than the good, usually. Dumb human nature, I say.
That said, I do agree it's inevitable that Pinkie would come across a terrible crime. I think she'd be shocked and understandably upset. We mustn't forget though that cops can't be stonefaced all the time. They have their limits too. It's not an easy job.
That said, I think Pinkie would actually get mad once the dust has settled. She'd probably be furious that someone took another person's life, or something else equally as bad.
For an in-show example, see her reaction when she hears Rainbow Dash was 'hurt' by 'somepony'.
I mean, that's implied swearing right there, or at the least something quite shocking for her to say. The show is definitely more light hearted than real life, aye, but I think it's not unreasonable to assume Pinkie would want to fight for justice for a terrible crime.
Yeeeeah, their conversation could've been a lot smoother, I agree.
I think you may just have an issue with the type of story this is. And that's fine, you're far from wrong, since it's not for everyone. You're not the only person whose said that they didn't like it because of a lack of conflict either so don't think you're being a grump or anything. That's perfectly fine. Some people love heavy slice-of-life, others want something with a bit of action. Fimfiction accommodates for both.
I'm glad you gave it a shot and commented anyway. Quite detailed too! That's not something anyone can do so don't feel bad, I appreciate what you've said, even if I may/may not agree with everything. That's the beauty of writing, I suppose.
Uhhh.... yeah because cops TOTALLY aren't recorded, caught in the media, and torn to shreds over every single comment made, whether on duty or off right? haha. Pinkie's logic is flawed I think, but if she makes it work then so be it haha.
Despite a few things, this is the only story so far that I have enjoyed today. Thank you!
Where did you get the cover art?
6137979 Who is the guy in your avatar?
6138406 Legolas from Lord of the Rings.
Gah! Now I'm curious what vehicle she drives! I mean she could just be driving a Crown Victoria or Ford Taurus, but at the same time when I think Officer Pinkie that seems way too average. Maybe she drives a muscle car or a big SUV or an impounded exotic. Maybe she's their helicopter pilot?
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120824111843/mlp/images/1/16/Gilda_%22buzz_off!%22_S01E05.png
So many possibilities! (Also, forgive me for interrupting the comments on a very good exploration into Pinkie's character to talk about police cars.)
where did you get the cover image?
6138836 I like to imagine that she drives this: img2.garnek.pl/a.garnek.pl/021/563/21563427_800.0.jpg/btr-152.jpg
Now THAT'S a cop car.
6139707 Or this 41.media.tumblr.com/2361421bd8bcb4dabd0977eac8101a2e/tumblr_npoy5kOUIr1r9etvbo9_1280.jpg (in pink?)
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And you had to admit, it does make her look hot. Still, TS is best pony.
6140021 Hmm... That seems more likely.
People were asking about the cover image, I did a google search for it and found it on derpibooru and deviantart. The original artist is Daikoku-Dahei.
Go take a look their other art is good too
Let's see, Rainbow the teacher, Fluttershy the safarist, Pinkie the officer...
Rarity the painter, Twilight the professor, and AJ the apple seller?
(Rarity seems like a painter to me
Always wondered how'd it turn if pinkie was an officer.
Kinda thought more along the lines of her having a 21 Jump Street (movie, not the old tv show) type of persona. Still a great story. Have a fave and watch.
I don't feel as though this is finished? It has a feeling of more, of wanting almost. I dunno, maybe it's just me.
Whar did you get the pic for this fic it's nice.
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