• Member Since 26th Mar, 2015
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Highlord Langslock


If the darkness grows so deep that we cannot see the light, then we shall rise up and BECOME the light!

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It’s time for the School Pride Parade, where students build floats that represent the reasons they are proud to attend Canterlot High School. This year, Sunset Shimmer has a few ideas for what will undoubtedly be the greatest float the school has ever seen, one that everyone will remember for ages to come.
Too bad the rest of the school doesn’t seem to agree.

One-shot, cover image pending.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

Curses, should have gone with a Chimera. Or Discord.

6128173 Huh, wish I thought of that. Oh well.

Ri2

You know, I think Sunset's was definitely the best.

I would have loved to hear more about how Sunset managed to bring that creature through the portal! Was she just keeping it in her basement all these years?

Also, Sunset, I liked the float. *hugs her* You're so cute now that you're reformed and I want to be your BEST FRIEND FOREVER! :pinkiecrazy:

“Dear Twilight Sparkle, today I learned that people are all idiots who have no appreciation for great art. I also learned that Celestia is a jerk who will crush your hopes and dreams no matter which universe you’re in.”

Best journal entry/letter ever. I feel badly for Sunset Shimmer, having wanted to do something like that for a long time and getting tripped at the finish line. Seriously, I thought she was going to build herself as a giant alicorn, but this is so much better.
This fits Sunset's aggressive, competitive spirit in a way I feel is deeply overlooked. I kind of wish we knew what it was made from. No offense to Team Flashdrive, but their float seemed really lazy... like "Oh crap we were supposed to work on this, everyone just push your stuff onto this float" but good for them, having made music. (I didn't feel it was necessary to include the "honorary members" part - it felt like pointless name dropping since we don't get to know anyone else on the team but Flash Sentry.)
Quick fixes: "Principle" (a concept) should be "Principal" (school headmaster) pretty much across the board; the drawing had people with their tongUES hanging out, not "tongs"; and “All your parade is belong to ME!” reads a little strange to me - maybe "belongs" instead of "is belong"?
Thank you for this gem.

6142158
1. "All your float is belong to me" is a reference to the broken english phrase "all your base are belong to us" from the game Zero Wing, which has become a popular internet meme.

2. Sorry if Team Flashdrive's work seems lazy, it isn't meant to be. As for the name dropping, I put Vinyl in as a temporary team member because I decided that I didn't want her on the Rainboom's team, and I added Octavia because I wanted to add a classical instrument to their float and because in my headcannon she is good friends with Vinyl (they are not lovers like most people would have them, just very close friends), so it made sense that they would be on the same team.

3. Thank you for pointing out my grammer errors with Principal and tongues.

6256599
1. wow, you're so right I feel silly. :facehoof: pardon me my silliness
2. that's all fair and good, I hope I didn't come off too harsh - I just wanted to be honest and expressive in my critique so you can grow from it! now that you mention it, it's for the best that Octavia was with them so the message of being well-rounded is justified
in any case, this story is still fun to read (and reread) :trollestia:

Well, it was interesting. Sunset seemed a bit too angry for this story, but it was neat to read anyways. :twilightsmile:

6273129 People get angry somethimes. Sometimes their pride is hurt, sometimes things don't turn out the way they expected and they get upset, sometimes nobody but they can understand why. It's just part of being human.

6276008 Well said.

Why is it a School Pride Parade instead of a School Spirit Parade? The word pride next to the word parade made keep subconsciously thinking that the thing was specifically an LGBT thing.

“Maybe I should go visit her again,” Twilight muttered.

Ya think? :rainbowlaugh:

A bit heavy on describing characters we already know, but the punchline was well worth it. A shame they aren't the Canterlot Venom-Fiends.

Not yet, anyway.

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