Life of a Hunter: Stalliongrad
“This best be worth my time Gustave,” I barked as I entered the back room of another one of his bars.
The griffin in question turned to face me. “Zis is very important. I have found a location for your connection in Stalliongrad. I’m sure that place will garner a load of funds for you. The city is rank with crime.” Gustave was waving a paper around my face.
Ripping it from his talons, I could make out the majority of the paper. It was advertising a place called The Hall. “What’s so special about it?”
“Zat locale is the hub of Stalliongrad. The owner is one of the most influential ponies in the entire city. It would be a prime location to find a source of constant information,” Gustave stated happily, with a smug grin on his beak.
Turning my attention back to the paper before me, I asked the obvious question. “How long do you think it’d take? Scootaloo wants to have a sleepover this weekend so I got to be back by then.”
“Well, it is only about a two day flight from Ponyville with your speeds. Otherwise, I’d refrain until you are more free.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
‘I should have just listened to the feather brain. Then I wouldn’t be stuck in this situation right now. I wonder if I can..’
My trek through the city wasn’t all too bad, not counting the clearly racist and corrupt guards at the cities tolls, that took a hefty bribe to leave me alone. The outer portions of the city were rather nice, clean areas. Guards were regularly patrolling and everyone on the streets were ponies and giving me the dirtiest looks possible. But as I kept walking deeper into the city, I could see the changes. The alleys were dirtier, the streets had more diversity, and the guards presence was almost non-existent.
I stopped a passing Diamond Dog and asked if he knew where The Hall was, and he just told me to keep heading in. “Nice spot in not nice area. Me like it there,” was the most I could get from him before he trudged along. So I kept walking, and by the time I could see The Hall I realized I was leaving the shadiest parts of town.
Just before I could get into the building, I heard a wolf whistle and spun my head to see some mares blowing kisses and trying to seduce passerbyers. Looking up, I saw a lovely sign of ‘The Hitching Post’ but before I could make any comments a group of stallions shoved me into an alley.
“I saw you looking at our mares wolf boy, that’s gonna cost ya,” the grimy stallion slurred out with his breath smelling like a fresh bottle of rum. He and his two friends were swaying where they stood, with bloodshot eyes and cheeky little smiles like they just hit the jackpot.
I just sighed, trying to ignore the stench of the dirty hobo. “What’s it to ya bud? Not like you’d run such a,” I had to take a breath to ensure the proper amount of sarcasm was given, “fine establishment. By the way, how’d you come up with the name? Out of your’s or your two friends ass?”
It took the three stallions a while to realize that I had just insulted the lot of them before their all too witty reply. “I think someone’s insulting us, and we don’t like being insulted do we?” The other to imbeciles shook their heads violently before Grimy McGrimerton continued. “I think you best be asking forgiveness or we may mess you up.” The stallions proceeded to back me into an alley next to The Hall and take out a few knives and a rusty pipe.
I just grinned wickedly once they brought out the weapons. “You know Equestria has a law saying that if something tries to threaten you with lethal force, you are allowed to defend yourself with an equal amount force? It’s an old law, like pre-Nightmare Moon when killings were a bit more rampant and trials were a simple ‘he said this happened so it did’, but it is still in the system. By far my favorite law though cause I get to kill idiots like you and not have to worry about guards.”
The ponies lunged at me but I simply flew over the top of the lot of them. All three being Earth ponies put them at a HUGE disadvantage. I dropped onto one of their backs and quickly broke his neck with my jaws. The others puked at the sight of their friend dying, so I quickly added blood with bile by slitting the idiots throats.
I walked out of the alley and bumped into a mare who saw my blood soaked fur and muzzle. I walked by as she glanced down the alley from whence I came and shrieked as I entered The Hall.
The inside of the building was done completely in wood giving it the feel of a well used inn. The main floor was raised above the entrance and packed with tables and chairs with a short set of stairs leading up to it. A podium sat right in front of them with a green furred, orange maned unicorn mare sitting behind it. It looked like there were a few more areas above the main one. Not really full floors, more like one long balcony that went all the way down the circular wall. They stopped to the left where the semicircle hit a plain square. Attached to that was a small stage.Nothing really extravagant, but pretty nice if they had the type of people I was looking for in it.
I dipped into the first washroom I could find to get the blood off of me. Thankfully it hadn’t begun to congeal yet, so it was easy enough to remove from my coat. Once I was presentable, at least as much as I could be, I left the room and entered the main part of building.
As I made my way through the crowds, many began to part before me due to my blood drenched fur. Even though most did, there were a few in the crowd that I could tell were eyeing me down to gauge if I was a threat or not. I simply force my way towards the bar to get a drink, and hopefully some information and a connection in this city I could rely on.
“Gimme your best ale bar keep, and the change is yours for some words,” I called over to a red earth pony stallion as I placed a dozen or so bits on the bar. The clanking of the bits drew his attention over instantly, since I could only assume the pony he was talking to was a shitty tip.
“So, what sort of words you looking for here? There is only so much I can say,” the stallion inquired as he pocketed the tip and handed me my ale.
“I need someone who listens and can get me information in Stalliongrad, both legal and not so much, in case something catches my fancy. Know anyone?” I inquired, placing my bribing bag of bits on the table.
“I might...” the stallion said, eyeing the bits with interest. I quickly slid a few more bits his way to try and loosen those jaws a bit. “Exactly what are your interests mister...”
“Zeta. My interests involve knowing what may or may not be profitable when it comes to employment opportunities. I need someone I can trust in the city to ensure I get good info, and that any jobs they get me are legit,” I answered coolly. “My Baltimare contact didn’t seem to understand that last part to much, and let’s just say the fish in the sea enjoyed having him over for dinner...”
I paused before continuing, “The pony wouldn’t be in any danger or trouble as long as they were honest with me and gave me sound advice in their respective city. So, you know anyone?”
“Bright Red,” the pony said, sliding the bits over to himself. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Before I could finish the deal, I felt a pair of hooves grab me by my wings and toss me backwards. After getting tossed across a table and through a couple pieces of glass, I staggered to my feet to see half a dozen stallions in front of me with hard glares.
“You the punk that off’ed Grimmer and that lot?” the lead who had pony-handled me demanded knowing.
“You’re kidding me? You have got to be kidding me right? That couldn’t have been that idiot’s name right?” was my dumbstruck response. It was answered with three of the ponies tackling me and pinning me to the ground.
“You’re about to learn what happens to things that mess with our boys!” a stallion yelled as he raised his hoof to strike. Before it could connect though, a large paw grabbed the appendage and lifted the entire pony into the air.
“And what would that be exactly?” a deep voice growled. The pony was lifted in front of the face of a very large, very angry looking diamond dog. I watched as the Diamond Dog swung the pony, using it as a makeshift club, and knocked all of the ponies off of me. The D-Dog offered his paw to assist me up “Ignore them. Seeing punks like that around here is more common than rats in a sewer. You may as well go the the upper levels while I clean up the garbage.”
Not wanting to anger the bouncer, I floated my way up to the third floor, which seemed almost dead despite the crowd below, and landed to relax for a bit. I wasn’t here for too terribly long before I heard footsteps heading towards the table I was relaxing at.
“So...there trouble downstairs?” A tall, brown and white furred cat...thing leaned on the railing beside me and looked down at the ground floor.
I took a couple more moments looking over the strange thing, noticing the scent of painted wood and some minor swelling where his fur was the covering the lightest. His shirt and pants, which I have to say was pretty bizarre seeing a humanoid like being, covered most of his body though. “You say that like its a common occurrence. I take it you work here...”
“Yep. I’m your waiter actually.” He turned to me with a small grin. “May I take your order?”
Since I had never seen a cat thing before, I figured it’d make sense for me to talk to one of them a bit. “Get me one beer, and whatever you’d like to drink, along with two steaks.” I saw his face begin to object to drinking on the job before I cut him off, “And I don’t care what your boss says, I’ll pay for your entire shift.”
“Huh...well, if you’ll cover my shift I guess it’s alright...” He took out a small notepad and jotted down a few notes. “Oh...about the red meat...”
“Let me guess, you guys don’t serve red meat here since there are a lot of ponies right?” I sighed, having heard the same thing at over half dozen different locales I’ve eaten at.
“Actually no. We do serve it. But our lead chef is a cow so...if you could not mention it...to anyone?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of a cow cooking me steak. “Of course I won’t tell, no one would believe me if I did. Hurry up and place the order and sit back down. Not like you got anything else to do.”
“Right...” He walked off toward the back wall without another word. After a while he came back with two beers, a steak, and a plate of cooked fish. He set them all on the table. I dug in real quick, and was pleasantly surprised with the quality of cow cooked steak.
“So, you got a name cat thingy, or should I just call you Sylvester, Fat Cat, or Pussy Cat?” I asked with a cynical tone.
“Jack,” he said simply, glancing around to make sure no one was around with a nervous gaze. I just ignored it and continued on with the obvious.
“Short, sweet, and to the point. Tell me about yourself, like what happened to that arm of yours?” I asked, draining my beer in afterward.
“I was flipping someone off and they shot me with a poisoned arrow.”
I just nodded my head at the cat as he told his, again extremely short story. “You know, usually you want to have a nice conversation with the guy that is paying for your break and booze right?”
“And usually, you know the guy’s name,” he said with a smirk.
“Touche my fine feline friend, but normally you either introduce yourself or ask for the other’s name. You’ve done neither, forcing me to ask all questions, “ was my, hopefully, witty reply.
“True enough.” He nodded, lifting his drink. “Let’s try again. Hello sir, my name is Jack Khajiit. May I ask your name?”
I just grinned at the response. “The name is Zeta the cynogriffin, pleasure making your acquaintance. So what brings you to this city?”
“I live here oddly enough.” He took a sip of the beer. “Used to be down south in the feline jungle. A friend of mine has some business up in this city so I followed him up to help out.”
“Sounds like you were a willing participant. Anyway, what’s underneath that wooden paw of yours? Since there aren’t any straps holding it in place I figure something is underneath,” I inquired, attempting to get the cat to loosen up a little bit.
“...If only you were a girl so I could call you a clever bitch.” He grasped the base of the wooden hand and pressed a specific spot. There was a soft click and he pulled the whole thing off to reveal a gleaming white-gold blade.
“Interesting. I take it you actually know how to use that thing, since it’s your arm now and everything. Makes me wonder why your face got so messed up?”
“What can I say, it’s a dangerous town.” He chuckled, turning his face away slightly. “Very punishing to the careless.”
“Fair enough,” by this time what I assumed was another worker brought us each over another drink. While mine was another beer, Jack’s was some mixed drink. “Vodka I take it?”
“When in Rome...or Russia as the case may be...kind of.” He thanked the gray unicorn and tossed back the drink. Said unicorn winked at me before sauntering off.
I gazed at the leaving flank for a bit before returning to my new acquaintance. “So, I take it you aren’t from around here are ya?” I inquired with a curious, if slightly buzzed, gaze.
“Nope. I’m from the jungle down south...I think I said that...” Jack stared at his drink for a moment before shrugging and taking a sip.
“Then how do you know about Russia and Rome...” I deadpanned.
“...Goddammit.” He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I’ve got to learn to be more careful...”
I simply laughed at the cat’s slip up. “Not the sharpest in the shed. If it makes you feel better, you’re the only other one I’ve met. So what you doing here?”
“Fighting people, working for tips, trying to get my hands on this tablet, getting my ass kicked...a lot...” he ticked off. “Normal adventure stuff.”
“Sounds better than what I’ve been doing,” I huffed out. “Being a bounty hunter, raising a kid, paying taxes and shit. Sort of a pain in the ass. So were you always Jack or what?”
“No...I changed it when I got here...well...it kind of got changed...I tried to change it, but it ended up as something else...also, I kind of thought I was dreaming when I tried to change it so it’s not the best name...and I’m rambling...”
“What was the first name? You’ve spiked my curiosity,” I uttered, having downed another few beers before he finished his answer.
“I tried to call myself Khajiit, but somehow I ended up as Jack. So now it’s my last name.” He went silent for a second. “So what about you? I doubt human parents would name their kid Zeta.”
I just shrugged my wings. “Wanted a completely fresh start, and I’ve always liked the greek alphabet. And I still feel you aren’t telling the whole truth with the name thing,” I uttered, sliding over another one of his drinks.
“So what if I’m not?” He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know you. Why should I give away my deepest darkest secrets?”
“I’m paying for your food and drinks. But regardless, you know of anything interesting going around in this city? Something I could make a profit from?” I inquired, figuring it be best to leave the name alone for now. A couple more drinks and he’ll ramble the story.
“Well...if you showed up a few months ago you could have entered this tournament I’m in...first prize is half a million.” He kept sipping his drink.
“I take it it is a long as tournament? I don’t got to much free time to do jobs, or I’d be winning that thing. Probably. How have you been doing in it?”
“Just started about a week ago...got another week before the next fight.” He reflexively rubbed his face. “Still feeling that guy’s punch...”
“That is unfortunate. If only life in a cartoon world was more like a cartoon. We’d be moving in like 3 days after near death injuries,” I mumbled, rubbing my paw over the scar across my eye. After an hour or two of drinking and talking with Jack Khajiit, I glanced over the balcony, and noticed that the crowd seemed to have relaxed a bit. “Well, I think its time I took my leave.”
“What? But didn’t you just get here?”
“Who knows, we both drank a lot. But I gotta finish my deal with Bright down there. So I bid you adieu,” I gracefully slurred towards Jack. I then leaned over the balcony.
“...You’re skipping out on the check aren’t you?” I just laughed as I flipped off of the balcony and glided back towards the bottom floor’s bar. Landing in front of it I glanced up and saw the cat looking over the same railing before turning around and running.
“I see you’re back,” Bright uttered.
“Yea, can’t talk for long though,” I mentioned. I reached across the bar and cut a small amount of hair off of his mane with my claw and gave him a feather. “We’ll use these in magic communicators to send messages. Try and get me one once a month at the minimum.” I then dropped off another bag of bits onto the bar “That’s to cover my bill upstairs, plus tip. I just wanted to mess with him a little. I’ll be in touch.”
“Don’t worry, messing with Mango is a pastime around here,” the bartender said with a smirk.
I lost it in my semi drunken stupor. “His other name was Mango? Are you messing with me? Mango Jack? That’s priceless.” I sat there and laughed for a bit with Bright, who chuckled in amusement as well.
I then noticed Khajiit running down the last flight of stairs, so I turned a flew above the crowd towards the door, mouthing ‘Mango Jack’ at him. He flipped me off real quick and with a smile on my muzzle I took my leave of The Hall and began my flight back towards Ponyville and my daughter, still in time to make that sleepover happen.
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I haven't read yet, but I'm getting a Gary Stu feeling from this already.
But, by the comments I have a feeling I could be wrong. I'll read against my original feeling of "Eww human ends up in Equestria as a badass animal" and hope they're right.
Wow, that was about as smooth a cross-over as I've seen. Not bad.
Wait a second...
I really, REALLY hope that there is a missing word here.
Just sayin'
2534783>>2534855
Fixed both of them. Thanks for pointing those out.
Just saying, Zeta is a badass dad.
2534343
Out of all of the differing stories, this is the level of gary stuness as I have seen it.
Gary Stu(yes that is his name)
Knightmare
Zeta
Griffin(He used to be, but he fixed it.)Aoi
Twigleaf(Mostly because he has near godlike magic, even if he never uses it in favor of subduing rather than killing. He also doesn't realise he has it)
Mango Jack(Just because I wanted to say his name around here.)
Wait, whut? I thougth he was in canterlot? Or is this just time skip or crossover break?
2550932
It's just a crossover break. I've had this chapter planned out for a while, and wanted to get the idea down. Originally it was going to be inside the Canterlot chapters as a flashback, but I decided that since Io has his Gaiden chapters, and Fordregha has his Skaven chapters, I'd have my own little "Life of a Hunter" chapters to expand on Zeta's career and outside life.
*Two
*Add a space between 'stage.' and 'Nothing'
2564130 how? I really don't understand this. I cannot fathom what could possibly justify that. really I want to know.
2564487 Racism is the worst crime of Ignorance.
Mango jack is best bast.