• Member Since 17th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

cursedchords



E

On the eve of the Day of Reaping, the start of the Equestrian Harvest, it is traditional that a legend be told over supper: the legend of how the traditions surrounding the Day of Reaping came to be. It is a story of love, ambition, and vengeance.

Long before Equestria, a grand Unicorn King maintains a splendid garden. On one of his travels he brings a scorpion back to live within it. That scorpion, resentful of being removed from her home, sets out to have her revenge.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 20 )

I really enjoyed it, it was a great start to a story, and believable too! :yay: The only slight thing that got me thinking was the Unicorn King being able to grow plants? As far as I know, only the Earth ponies seem to have that ability due to their magic?
I dunno :P But I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! :rainbowkiss:

I would say this deserves a Tragedy tag.:fluttercry:

It's wonderful how subtly, both for Antares and the reader, her motivation shifts, from wooing Jupiter for the sake of getting rid of the tree, to getting rid of the tree for the sake of being with Jupiter.

Adding an upvote because this deserves waaay more than 3. I imagine the fact that it's a sequel is scaring away some.

6172738

Is it showing as a sequel to you? I know the Author's Note says that it takes place in my own Alternate Universe, but it's not a sequel to anything, not in any sense of the term. It is a standalone story, it just makes use of a few elements that disagree with the official canon.

If you think that that is scaring people away, I could have that changed.

Heavy.

The voices of the canon characters shine through in the frame story, as well.

6130156 It's likely that any pony can grow things, but earth ponies can make them grow faster bear more fruit, etc. which would explain this and frequent apple buck season episodes/references in the show.

6381105

Yeah I guess that does make sense. Though it was mentioned in Hearth's Warming Eve that food could "only be grown by the Earth ponies." Hard to tell.

Well, that's a pretty bittersweet ending.

Oh man, this feeling of absolute dread is almost unbearable. I want to read the next chapter, but at the same time, I don't.
I'm getting an Adam and Eve vibe as well, picking fruit from the forbidden tree of knowledge with Star Light acting as the deceitful serpent.
Sigh, time to read on and see all that Antares has reaped for herself.

...wow, that was a very loaded ending.
I loved how you tied the sunset at the end of it as well, it wrapped things up so nicely with its imagery and melancholy mood.

All in all, this was some great writing and character building, though it was a bit hard to believe Star Light just waited 20 years to take over.

Something that looks like a mistake:

“Why not?” Antares asked.

This is the first mention of the scorpion's name -- up to this point the narrator just calls her "the scorpion" -- so slipping her name in so off-handedly is just a little confusing.

7796471

You are correct. I'll see about getting that changed at some point. Thanks for pointing it out!

Good characterization! I thought Antares and Jupiter's relationship was interesting and well-handled.

A very well-written little myth! You have rightfully so earned accolades! :pinkiesmile:

This story is a masterpiece! All through it, I felt Antares' sorrow and happiness, and it had me crying.

Bravo, for this magnificent, well-crafted story.

It was a nice tale, the "myth" feeling was spot on and I really felt something for Antares.
The end was particularly powerful in my opinion.
Still I wonder about who ruled the kingdom after the King passing (given the Queen disappearance) and about Star Light fate.

Being a Scorpio, I knew of the star Antares that shines the brightest. This story gives me a whole new lore to like about my birth constellation.

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