...Hmm, not sure how to feel about that last part.

Just seems like somebody as stubborn as Scootaloo should have put up a bit more resistance then that. Even against Dash.

Hopefully either Sweetie or Apple Bloom puts up a bit more fight since there's clearly something deeply wrong with their loved ones.

6190707 *griiiiins* Wrong? Whatever do you mean? ^___^

*Thinks about how Applejack is part plant* ..... Why do i sense tentacles? (Well vines, but roughly the same thing/concept, you get my point regardless)

6190950 *points to chapter two* :D

6190707 Yet they've been beaten and down trodden for years, I imagine they're at their breaking point for stubbornness all it takes is one push, and Their hell twisted siblings will be that push, though I expect Applebloom to be the most resistant of the bunch, good thing her sister is in league with the demonic plats of Tartarus.

6191013 You mean the same Applebloom who lost her home, was taken against her will, and treated like a slave (because she was one), who is going to wake up in the arms of her beloved big sister? :3 Hehehehe.

6191005 i meant to say "Applebloom getting tentacle fucked", no idea why i didn't type that, must of had a brain fart.

6191021 If she has the same stubborn heritage as her sister, then she'll atleast try to fight back, or give token resistance in a foolish attempt to purify her willfully corrupted sister.

So I was a little disappointed in how easily Celestia got taken out. She should have gotten in a few more awesome attacks that kind of frustrated Twilight before getting captured, but what I really want is a tender moment between the two.

Twilight comes in, all ready to corrupt Celestia, when Celestia snags her into a warm motherly hug and just starts bawling, and totally disrupts Twilights thought process, and as Twilight tries to get back in control, Celestia just shushes her, telling her to let her have this moment, and Twilight shuts up, as Celestia mothers her and coddles over her. She talks about how much she cared for and how sorry she truly was for being so weak as to not be able to save her, then thanking her for saving her from being put back into the sun. I want this to just floor Twilight so much, that it really gets to her, makes her feel almost bad for wanting to corrupt Celestia, just wanting to stay in Celestia's wings forever, and for just a moment, pretend like none of this ever happened, that this was just a friendly meeting between mentor and student, quasi-mother and frantic child. I want Twilight's tears to be pouring down her face as she corrupts Celestia, who justs lets it happen, and then the scene fades out.

6191211 *sly grin* Just wait till next chapter. ^___^ Well... a few more for them, but Celestia will have another scene shortly.

6191211 Celestia was pulled out of the sun, at a moments notice, to fight a generic demon invasion of Canterlot. Got caught flatfooted realizing it was Twilight she was fighting, at first held back and had to force herself to go all out. She was lacking in intel, facing an opponent she did not want to fight, and was hoping to prop some pillows up behind her when she knocked her down.

Twilight on the other hand, had developed countermeasures specifically for the Royal Pony Sisters, since they were both a specific threat that was inevitably going to clash with her and Cadance's plans. She was expecting the encounter, had planned as well as she could for it, and employed cunning and Celestia's own hesitance against her.

One of these two was cool, collected, and very much in control of that encounter. I agree it wasn't Celestia's shining moment of badass, but she'll get her times in the future I am sure to show us how a Solar Alicorn throws down.

Ohhhhhhh, boy, was that a great chapter! The perfect end to my day! Thank you, Cody!

Loved it all (but I think that my favorite part of the chapter (well, second one with Scoots, Dash and Twi, that is (and I hope that Twilight ends up fixing Scoots' wings before long)), was, oddly enough, Rarity's attack on the Horn estate, and her rescue of Vinyl and Octavia.

And dang! but that mare can bring down the thunder when she wants to!

I almost feel sorry for the despicable Brothers Horn, and the rest of Canterlot's so-called "Nobles".

Notice, please, that I said "almost". Whatever Twi and Company have in store for them, they all more than deserve!

Speaking of the aforesaid despicable Brothers Horn (and their worthless cronies, too, of course), I just wonder where they've gotten off to, and are up to now?

I guess we'll find out soon enough, huh?

And with that, I bid you all good night. I went to a concert earlier with a group from my church, we just got back a little bit ago, and I am one bushed gal! So I'll see y'all in the AM!

Good night, my dear ones.

6191462

I know, which is why I was fine with her getting captured, I just wanted another one or two of those moments where Twilight got caught off guard, and for the end of the fight to be a little bit less anti-climatic. But yeah, super excited to see how things go with her.

I wonder if twilight and cadence are going to try to look for shining armor or there parents

6191995
I have to admit, I kinda agree. I've been mostly 'meh' with the rest of the story cause I'm so hyped for the next Celestia and Twilight scene.

6192667 I would imagine so.

Alright, this chapter has made things a lot easier.

I dislike both sides now. I already talked about the nobles, and Rarity is a murdering monster for whom I have little left but contempt.

They all deserve to be stopped.

6191716
Heh. I don't feel sorry for them. Not really.

But I also immensely dislike Twilight's faction in this. More so by now than the nobles.

Actually makes me wonder if reading on is a good idea. With the CMC falling so easy, I'm running out of characters to root for.

6200376 *tilts head* Murdering monster? She... murdered a bunch of guards who were going to torture Vinyl to death, if that's what you mean. XD

6200508
With the amount of power at her disposal, taking them out without killing them wouldn't have been hard. The fact that they were hardly better doesn't change that fact. She chose to kill them—deliberately.

So yes, murdering monster.

6200514 *tilts head other way* In a war, it is generally understood that one fights to the death. And overwhelming power advantage is a... stretch. She's a talented, /experienced/ fighter, certainly. But she's no archdevil. One devil versus twelve trained guardsponies, she took them seriously enough to fight them, and not try to subdue.

6200597
She didn't fight, she slaughtered them. At no point did the scene hint at them giving her any trouble. If that's the sense you wanted to convey, it didn't work.

And considering they've not been all that eager to kill before this, it looks like Rarity deciding to step up the game for little reason than she just wants to.

I'm not adverse to Twilight's demon corps having trouble with their mortal foes, but if that's the case it should be made clear. As it is, Rarity looks like she just wanted to murder helpless opponents for a change because it was fun.

6200597
Just to be clear on this: The scene with Rarity fighting the guards, that was supposed to make her look like the good party in this?

I'm asking because that appears to be what you are arguing I should see it as. You hinted before that things would be more nuanced than they appeared at first, but if Devillight's Legion of Lust is pretty much officially the Good Guys anyway now, how can this be?

6200768

If I may humorously paraphrase what I'm reading:
'Rarity you're a monster for assaulting a position with superior numbers against you and not taking them all alive like Batman would have!'

Personally I don't think Rarity was being anything but efficient when assaulting a mansion of enemies. She probably would have been more circumspect if Vinyl wasn't in immediate danger of death. She utilized several methods to reduce the numbers against her and efficiently remove the immediate threat to permit her to attend the failing unicorn. The fact that she intellectually enjoyed the puzzle while doing so is callous, but I think Tartarus does that to you.

The fact that she made it appear effortless is Rarity's sense of style. Maybe she could have John Woo'd it from behind a pillar being chipped down by force bolts, but that's not really Rarity. She also did not continue the slaughter through the rest of the mansion once the immediate threat was dealt with. Were she the psychopath you wish to make her out to be she could have painted the walls and floor with gore of guilty and innocent alike and walked out with a necklace of foal heads.

6200847
Paint the walls with blood is pretty much what she did. Again, they never needed to do so before, and at no point did it look to me like doing so here was truly required.

6200252 After all that they did (which caused the consequences to their actions), why, in heavens's name, would you want them to win?!

Me, I want them to lose in the most brutal, humiliating way possible!

Karma can be a real bitch, you know.

6200376

Rarity is a murdering monster

*eye twitch* She's a murdering monster?! She is?!? What about the ten stallions who were going to (likely) rape, and then beat and torture poor Vinyl to death, for no more than wanting to get her mate back from the tribalist filth that took her from her?!

6200388 You're probably the only one, then.

Yeah, well, they spent 300 years in literal hell, being tortured and raped repeatedly every day. That's bound to change a person.

But you obviously didn't read what Cadance said to Luna when they were fighting: that she had to sacrifice some part of herself to the darkness just to be able to survive, but that she kept that part of her that made her the pony that Luna knew.

And I'm assuming that that's true for Twilight and the other girls, too.

You know, though, I've got a bit of advice for you: if you don't like where Cody is taking the story, then just stop reading it.

After all, you did say:

Actually makes me wonder if reading on is a good idea. With the CMC falling so easy, I'm running out of characters to root for.

If that's the way that you truly feel now, then maybe it would be a good idea to go find a story where you won't have to nitpick; er, excuse me, gripe; so much about every little detail, and leave it to those of us who actually like, and want to read it, and find out what's going to happen next.

Also, I do believe that Cody put this in his description for the story:

( Not my best info blurb, but for now it's what I have. This is my (Cody) first attempt at a clop-plot fic on this site; it's also a way to keep my writing skills up to snuff while Tae handles some personal matters. Constructive criticism welcome! Flaming will feed the fires of my hatred. Thank you! )

Also, read the tags at the start of it. And quit griping because it has stuff in it that you don't like.

6200847 Good points all.

But I don't think that you, or Cody, for that matter, are going to get through to this guy. He's going to nitpick and criticize it to death, no matter what anyone of us say.

6200898

After all that they did (which caused the consequences to their actions), why, in heavens's name, would you want them to win?!

Me, I want them to lose in the most brutal, humiliating way possible!

Karma can be a real bitch, you know.

Well, that was half-jokingly. And as for why, like I later said, I have trouble taking them seriously because of the way they're presented. I'll get to that a little later.

*eye twitch* She's a murdering monster?! She is?!? What about the ten stallions who were going to (likely) rape, and then beat and torure poor Vinyl to death, for no more than wanting to get her mate back from the tribalist filth that took her from her?!

Actually, they were more angry because Vinyl killed two of them before. But let's leave that aside. Granted, Rarity had good reason to intervene. I still can't see Rarity as the heroine here because, again, from what's been happening so far she wouldn't have needed to resort to lethal force.

There'd be a simple fix, you know. Just let her think or say something like "I had to do it this way" or "Had I not gone all-out, my chances would've been dim". That already makes it a lot more balanced.

Yeah, well, they spent 300 years in literal hell, being tortured and raped repeatedly every day. That's bound to change a person.

But you obviously didn't read what Cadance said to Luna when they were fighting: that she had to sacrifice some part of herself to the darkness just to be able to survive, but that she kept that part of her that made her the pony that Luna knew.

And I'm assuming that that's true for Twilight and the other girls, too.

Remember what I said about having trouble with how the nobles are presented? This is a good example for characterisation done right.

What I mean is that Twilight, Cadance, her fellow fiendponies, even Celestia and Luna have their reasons presented. You can see what they're thinking, what they're feeling, and it makes sense. The changes they went through also make sense. The way they're worked with is honestly good.

Now, what do you know about this ominous block of ponies lumped together under "The Nobles"? Pretty much only that they check off every character flaw there is, corrupt, selfish, greedy, cowardly, arrogant, etc etc. Chapter five introduced the first nobles with an actual name. Unfortunately, we don't get to know that much about them, including their noble title, but at least this ominous bloc of badness got a face now.

What I'd like now is for the obvious skill the author(s) posses to be applied to the antagonists as well. To give them an existence beyond literally crippling orphans. Because if that's all they are, they become cartoon villains rather than serious characters.

If that's the way that you truly feel now, then maybe it would be a good idea to go find a story where you won't have to nitpick; er, excuse me, gripe; so much about every little detail, and leave it to those of us who actually like, and want to read it, and find out what's going to happen next.

I wasn't aware my comments kept you from reading the story.

Also, I do believe that Cody put this in his description for the story:

( Not my best info blurb, but for now it's what I have. This is my (Cody) first attempt at a clop-plot fic on this site; it's also a way to keep my writing skills up to snuff while Tae handles some personal matters. Constructive criticism welcome! Flaming will feed the fires of my hatred. Thank you! )

Also, read the tags at the start of it. And quit griping because it has stuff in it that you don't like.

I have no idea why you posted that blurb. Did you mean to say I'm flaming this story?

As for "griping because it has stuff I don't like", perhaps what I've been doing was explain one aspect of a story I didn't find as enjoyable as the rest, which I honestly do like and already said so?

But I don't think that you, or Cody, for that matter, are going to get through to this guy. He's going to nitpick and criticize it to death, no matter what anyone of us say.

Yes, how dare I have a different opinion. What's really ironic about this post is that I'm actually pretty open and willing to discuss things, as well as admit when I'm plain wrong, if you're willing to engage in an honest debate.

6201628 It's alright, Whitewolf, I honestly do understand where Derp is coming from here. I will admit, the Nobles do need more characterization, and I will strive to work on that in the future. And no, I don't believe Derp is flaming. XD I've had far worse before. This is a morality tale, and it is up to the reader to decide what they think of the choices ALL the characters make. :3

6201670
For what's it worth, I'm kinda sorry about the comment regarding not knowing if I should read on. That's always disheartening to get by commenters, and frankly not needed at all. Especially when you put so much effort in this work overall.

6201684 It's fine, Derpy. Forgive and forget and all that. XD

ETA for next chapter?

6222595 Hopefully within the next few days. :)

6225526 That's cool to know. I'll keep an eye out for it, and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next.

I'd like to find out what's going on with the nefarious Brothers Horn and the rest of Canterlot's so-called "Nobles", actually.

6277879
Duly noted. Have a nice day.

Addendum: I should perhaps repeat that I wasn't completely serious when I wrote the post you're referring to. It was at least partly an expression of frustration with how the narrative presented the two sides of the conflict. Other folks have been overwhelmingly rooting for the demons and devils so far, and while I understand why, I feel that it's a missed opportunity to make the whole story blatantly black and white. Or black and grey, rather, but that's where I feel other readers are also too lenient with what their favourites have been doing so far.

So, I'm not returning that "fuck you", nor the "fuck your logic". I respect your opinion, even though you unfortunately will not do the same.

Again, have a nice day.

6225526 Soon?

If it wasn't for the nature of this story, I would have favorite and added it to tracking...

6225526 "Next few days" huh?

Seriously though... More please?

6313063 Guys, don't pressure the author. There're often circumstances in life that prevent someone from keeping their promises.

6315257 The intended tone was something along the lines of teasing rather than pressuring...

6225526

Hope is dead.

But no, seriously, hope you're ok and it's just writer's block.

... more please.

Hey, Cody. Hope this finds you and Tae both well, and that things are going better for you both.