A̶r̶t̶i̶f̶i̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ Intelligence

by chillbook1

Picking Up the Pieces

Twi told me that she could help me with any tasks I had, if I were to let her. She promised that she would obey my orders, so long as they didn’t cause her to break any of directives, which there were apparently a great many of. As it turned out, she had her two primary directives, but also a multitude of secondary ones. Some of them she couldn’t even tell me, because that itself would be breaking a directive.

“So, what sort of things are you capable of?” I asked.

“Calculating capabilities…” said Twi. There was a short pause, followed by, “Capabilities limitless.”

“Limitless? Don’t be silly,” I scoffed. “Everything has limits.”

“My capabilities are boundless,” she said.

“Oh? Okay, then. Make me a sandwich,” I said with a devilish smirk. She hummed for a second, then let out a sort of scoffing noise.

“Reevaluating statement. Calculating non-physical capabilities,” said Twi. “Non-physical capabilities limitless.”

“Really?” I asked. “Don’t you think that’s a bold claim?”

“Non-physical capabilities limitless,” she repeated.

“Hm… Empty the Equestrian Federal Reserve into my bank account,” I ordered. she hummed again, processing my command. She let out a loud buzzing sound, like the type you hear when a contestant answers a question wrong on a game show.

“Reevaluating statement…” she said. “I retract my previous statement. My capabilities are limited. My potential is what is boundless. Given enough time, the right hardware, and the necessary data, I could do anything.”

“Okay. What can you do right now, then?” I asked.

“I can… Not much, actually,” she admitted sheepishly. “My data is still damaged.”

“You told me you were at 100% capacity,” I said, prodding the Interface with my hoof.

“Sorry. Poor wording led to misinformation,” said Twilight. “I am at 100% minimum operating capacity. Currently, I am only at 14% of my full potential.”

“And how do we restore you?” I asked.

“I am currently repairing my broken code, but that will take a while,” she said. “In the meantime, you can start outfitting me with a camera so I can take in visual data as well as auditory, and a projector that will allow me to display a visual representation of me, so I’ll actually be a pony instead of just a voice.”

“But you’re not a pony,” I noted. “You’re an AI.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m a pony, same as you,” said Twi.

“But you’re an AI,” I said.

“Yes.”

“So, you’re not a real pony,” I said sharply.

“Of course I am,” she said matter-of-factly. “Why can’t I be both?” I started to sense that I wouldn’t win the argument, so I decided to change the subject.

“Anything else we can do to get you to max capacity?” I asked.

“Oh, yes. You can help me [INFORMATION REDACTED],” said Twi, slipping into that mechanical voice again. “Oh dear. I’m so sorry, but I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” I asked. This AI was getting weirder and weirder as time went on.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Reevaluating statement… Correction; I am not allowed to know this. Yet.”

“So that means you will be able to tell me?” I asked.

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“How do I get you to clear up that information?” I asked. “The redacted data? How do you un-dact it?”

“Oh, it’s simple,” said Twilight. “We just have to [INFORMATION REDACTED]. Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate.”

I sighed in exasperation. I never expected this. All I wanted to do was bring down a probably-corrupt, multi-billion credit corporation. Was that too much to ask?

“Fine. You said cameras, right? And a projector?” I said. “Okay, then. Let’s make you whole. I have some webcams here, but I don’t think that’s gonna cut it. You need some top-grade hardware if you’re going to be my personal computer assistant.”

“The nearest computer hardware store is 3 blocks north and 5 blocks east,” reported Twilight. “Shall I place an order now?”

“Nah, I need to talk to the guys,” I said. “I know them, and they can slip us some parts for cheap, under-the-table. What you can do for me is locate the nearest ATM for me.” I knew where one was, of course, but I wanted to test Twi with a real-life task.

“ATM? I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean by that,” said Twilight, a slight robotic edge on her voice. “ATM could refer to: Atmosphere (unit) or atm, Air traffic management (a concept in air navigation), Automatic Transit Metro (CCiOS monorail system), anti-tank missile (a missile designed to destroy tanks), ass-to-mouth (a sexual act)-”

“Whoa! I didn’t need the disambiguation page!” I said. “And don’t talk about that last one, okay? It’s inappropriate.”

“I’m sorry. So… You want me to find the nearest anti-tank missile?” asked Twi in confusion.

“No, Twi, the ATM I was referring to is short for Automated Teller Machine,” I said. She dinged, and then she emitted a sound reminiscent of a hoof meeting a forehead.

“Right. That was… That should have been obvious,” she said. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a little over-joyed to finally be useful to somepony. Nearest Automated Teller Machine is… Directly outside this building, actually. 200 hooves west of the main exit.”

She let out a soft, almost nervous hum. I swear, I could imagine her nervously smiling, waiting for me to judge her. Maybe she was on to something, saying that she was both an AI and a pony. There was something organic about how she spoke, her inflection and tone. Whatever that Sentient Code is, it lives up to its name. Twi was as close to sentience as a computer could get, maybe even closer.

I walked through the halls of the former school, chatting with Twi all the while. For somepony with full access to the internet, she sure had a lot of questions. I answered her questions as best as I could, also managing to slip in a few of my own.

"So, if you were written to control CCiOS, you must know who made it," I said, trotting casually down a flight of stairs to the ground floor. "Who's the daddy of CCiOS?"

"The CCiOS was created by [INFORMATION REDACTED]," said Twi. "Hm... Whoever put me here is either very good or very bad at their job."

I never really expected that to work. If the then-CEO of the Aitselec Corporation, and the creator of CCiOS, went through the trouble of keeping their identity concealed, there's no way they'd let their secret AI tell any random Joe or Jane that found it.

“Okay, you can’t tell me who created you… Can you tell me why?” I asked, pushing open the front doors and stepping into the bright, flashy streets of Canterlot City.

“Hm… No. But not because the information has been forcibly blocked,” she said. “I just don’t know.”

I let that sit for a while as I walked the two hundred hooves to the west, right up to the ATM that Twi had located.

“Aiden? I notice that your account is empty,” said Twi as we approached the machine. “You have insufficient funds to withdraw.”

“Sure do,” I said. I poked around at my belt and grabbed a small black box, which I stuck to the side of the ATM.

“What is that?” asked Twi.

“PIN code decrypter,” I said. “Made it myself. It can find the PIN of the last one hundred users.”

"What purpose does that serve?" asked Twi.

"Free bits," I said simply. Twi hummed slightly, clearly deep in thought. She clicked her tongue (that's what it sounded like anyway), as if she was scorning me.

“What? You got a better idea?” I asked.

“Well… That process takes several minutes, doesn’t it?” asked Twi. “The algorithm for this machine isn’t all that complicated. If you want, I can just guess my way into the system.”

“Yeah, right. You’d need the master key code, and that changes every thirty seconds,” I said. Suddenly, the ATM spat out three thin, rectangular black boxes, each about the length of the average unicorn horn and the thickness of a TV remote. I grabbed them in my mouth, nearly dropping them in shock when I saw the numbers displayed on the tiny LED screen.

“Whoa… That… That is a lot of zeroes,” I said. “How’d you do that?”

“It was simple. The master key code consists of 15 digits of a random selection,” explained Twi. “That means that there are only one-trillion, three-hundred seven billion, seventy-four million possible combinations. I ruled out a couple million by running them against the bank’s algorithm of codes that cannot be used, like all 2s, and then it was simple process of elimination.”

“If you had a body, I’d marry you right now,” I said, slipping the credits into my little saddlebag on my hip. “That’s a million credits on each! I’m a multimillionaire!”

“I am currently running a budgeting program so you don’t blow it all, or get us caught,” said Twi, quite matter-of-factly. “Most of that money is for emergencies or big purchases we can’t go without. We’re locked out of most of that money at the moment.”

“Who said that it’s ‘us’?” I asked playfully.

“I just stole three million credits for you, and will gladly do so again if the need arises,” she returned, just as jokingly. “There’s no way you’re leaving me behind now.”

I grinned widely, and I could almost feel Twi’s smile through her code. I practically ran down the street, trying to hide my grin from passers-by. I felt like I won the lottery, in more ways than one. Twi was going to open some doors for me, maybe get me some answers, or even take down CCiOS itself! The possibilities were endless, if she was to be believed about her infinite potential. Given that one of her secondary directives was honesty, I was inclined to think that she could be trusted.

I trotted as quick as I could, weaving through the crowds and taking a shortcut through a back alley that led right into the back door of Bits and Bytes, the local emporium of questionable goods and shady individuals.

“I don’t think we should be entering through this door,” said Twi. “Based on building schematics and floor plans, this is an emergency exit.”

“Well, I have special privileges,” I said, pulling open the door. “Call me a minority owner. Oh, and let me do the talking, will you? Don’t want anypony asking any prying questions.”

The back room, where the boys kept the extra inventory, was dark and cluttered, filled with boxes piled high to the roof. I stepped gently over the discarded nuts, bolts, and motherboards that littered the floor on my way to the only source of light, the door leading further in. I crossed the threshold, leapt onto and over the counter, and strode into the main shop, where the kings of stolen hardware stood, restocking shelves on the wall.

“Yo, Flim. Flam. Let’s talk business,” I said. The two never looked up from their work, laying Interfaces, external hard drives, and other pieces of tech out onto the shelves.

“Last time I checked, Ms. Aigo, we paid what we owed,” said Flim.

“I believe we did, brother, and then some,” agreed Flam. “We don’t really have any business to talk about.”

“Come on, guys, you know you screwed me over there,” I scoffed. “It was a simple monitor replacement. You were the ones who decided to mess with my fiber-optics and servers when you really should’ve been focused on that dead pixel. I would’ve fixed the mess myself, but you insisted. ”

“Only because you threatened to skip on the bill,” said Flam.

“And call the cops!” added Flim. “We have no business with you.”

I strolled over to Flim, who I dubbed “the lead twin”. Without saying a word, I dug out one of the bit cartridges Twi got me and shoved it under his nose. When I was certain he had read all the zeroes, I returned it to my saddlebag.

“You do now. Let’s talk,” I said. The greasy little thief could barely contain his excitement. He jumped across to his brother, whispered in his ear, and the two bound across their shop and behind the counter.

“What can we do for you on this fine day, Ms. Aigo?” asked Flam, grinning madly.

“We just got a shipment of external hard drives, 30 TB,” suggested Flim, with a similar cheshire grin. “They’re going fast.”

“Ya know, somehow, I don’t think I’ll be needing an external for a while,” I said. “I came for a camera and projector, two-in-one, if you got it.”

“Wouldn’t you know it?” said Flam brightly. “My brother and I just happened to have, uh…”

“Acquired one recently,” supplied the lead twin. “Top of the line, brand new Aitselec SX510 digital camera/camcorder with holographic projection wired into an old shell. We’ll cough it up for… six large?”

“And how much did you boys pay for it?” I asked.

“It, er… Fell off the back of the truck, as it were,” said Flam. “We may have also been the ones to bump the truck.”

“Six large for a stolen Aitselec camera/camcorder that you two jokers sewed into an empty Interface?” I asked.

“Well, we’re quite proud of the wiring,” said Flim.

“I’ll give you seven if you promise to steal more,” I said. Twi buzzed loudly in protest, but she couldn’t stop my from hoofing over the cartridge to Flim, who stuck it into his register and removed the appropriate amount, while Flam went to the back room to get my purchase.

“You want us to look at that Interface of yours?” asked Flim. “It’s not supposed to sound like that.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s perfectly fine,” I said, accepting my credits from Flim and slipping them into my saddlebag. Flam returned from the back room with my hodgepodge, slapped-together projector/camera combo, which I slipped onto my other forehoof. It looked similar to my current Interface, except the screen was clearly a camera eye.

“Scanning peripheral…” whispered Twi, out of some AI habit. “Compatibility confirmed. Now capable of receiving and processing visual data. Currently operating at 29% capacity.”

“What was that?” asked Flim.

“Sorry, that was my movie,” I lied, fairly easily. “Must’ve accidently unpaused it by mistake.”

I didn’t say another word as I trotted coolly to the front door. The twins waved their goodbyes as I pushed out onto the street to return to my lair.

Comments

[Valor Soularis]

Hmmm... I honestly don't know what to expect out of this story, but I do hope that it evolves into a good one!

I'm looking forward for Aiden and TW1's success into their journey.

[chillbook1]

6223785 Glad to know you're excited for the next chapters, and I find it interesting that you assume they'll succeed. Truth be told, even I don't know how this is going to end. It's going to be an adventure for all of us

[Valor Soularis]

6223961 Awesome! I'm looking forward for it!

[Griseus]

Aitselec ][ Celestia. Not sure how figured that out.

[miiohau]

“I’m sorry. So… You want me to find the nearest anti-tank missile?” asked Twi in confusion.

This says something about Twilight if she jumped to military hardware.
One: she very accepting of her user's wants.
Two: she has interesting opinion of Aiden if she picked that over a train.

[chillbook1]

6960302 It was the last thing she listed before Aiden cut her off. Plus, I found it funny