- Member Since 9th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Jul 5th, 2022
PlagenShiki
How's it going? I am Plagen and I read fanfics and play games on YouTube. I also write a bit myself. My main focus is dark/tragic stories. Also, I enjoy anime.
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proposed.
my
re-enter
mega spells Make sure to add spaces when its plural.
start up " - " Doesn't go in between "start up".
loose
thing Remove the " is " so that the sentence flows properly.
facility
10 mm Make sure in the future to add a space in between the number and measurement system type.
hollow
hint
Overall I am pleasantly pleased with your story
. There are a few errors, but these can be remedied by putting your story in to Microsoft word or google docs and then using the spell check tool. Otherwise, this has the makings of an exceptional fan fic. If you would like someone to pre-read your work and/or check for spelling errors before you post, i would be willing to proof read your work(pm for my Skype account if this is what you wish to do) or you can check out the fallout Equestria group as they have multiple editors that would be happy to help you with your work!(they're contacted though hyperlinks at the bottom of their group page) 
Either way, great job and keep up the good work.
6183614 Thanks! I fixed all the errors you pointed out. Oddly enough, I was typing in MS Word. But, it doesn't really help with fixing words that end up being words when I misspell them or miss a letter, like "hit" and "hint". XD
I've got a friend i can have read over my future chapters, so hopefully there will be less issues like these in the future.
6183791 awesome! The reason i suggested using google docs is because it has a very good spell check that is very good at spotting grammar mistakes such similar words being interchanged accidentally.
Anyway...This has a lot of potential so keep up the good work!
picked
than
*I
Ok. Now that the grammar fixes are out of the way, on to the review!
So far i'm liking your story's originality as well as the tone settings you've used. The idea of having a A.I. is an excellent idea and the way that ratchet interacts with the world is very well thought out. For example, how she took the time to bury the bodies of her team as well as the family, shows that she is still behaving as she would've before the mega spells with a few exceptions (such as breaking and entering). The background tone of sadness and regret is very clearly expressed by your use of world building descriptions that show how the world she knew is gone. Overall, there are very few errors this time which is something i'm very happy to see and the story is progressing along nicely at a not too slow but not too fast pace. You're pacing the story exceptionally well, giving us (and Ratchet) time to get use to our surroundings instead of barraging us with raider/slaver attacks right of the bat like a lot of FO:E fan-fics. This is an essential factor to me as a FO:E Fan-Fic reader, since it gives me something unique to read and not just the same old , gory, bullets-flying-everywhere kind of style of FO:E fan-fic that are all too common place now. In other words, great job and keep up the good work 
6211277 I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy it! And, thanks again for showing me the errors I had. The first and last I never would have found, since I talk like that normally. :P
I love it! please make more of the story^.^
6216599 Working on it! :D
*the
This sentenced felt a little forced to me and I think rephrasing it like this might make it flow more properly.
Compared to the liveliness of Canterlot and my lab I had only experienced a few days ago, it was really unsettling.
northside I think this is what you meant, but I could be wrong...
This is another one of those sentences that didn't seem to flow well. If you rephrase it like this it might flow better.
*I decide to push it* to the back of my mind and **focus more on** my surroundings instead, ***as*** I continue down the road.
* , * firing
Hello PlagenShiki! It's that time again! Time for a review.
So to start off, I want to say that this story is starting to get interesting. First off, we have mutated bats, a new gang in fallout equestria reminiscent to the powder gangers from fallout new vegas, and mysterious saviors yet to be revealed. This is something that makes me really enjoy your fan fic. There is just so many unique and new ideas culminating already! The second thing I want to bring up is the lack of editing. Now before you get disgruntled with me, yes i noticed your comment about your editor being away and that you wanted to get this out to us as quickly as possible. I like that you want to get us updates quickly but, there is something to be said about quality over quantity. This is an easily remedied situation though. I would highly suggest making sure to have a backup editor in case of unexpected situations such as your main editor being absent. Third and lastly, is my take on C.O.R.A. I think that you have set yourself up brilliantly for some majorly unique dialogue options, character development options, and special quest choices involving CORA. Overall, your story is progressing quite nicely and i think that it has a substantial amount of potential should you keep things as interesting as you have without falling back onto cliches as some unfortunate fan fic authors have done before you. Well that's all i've got for you this update! keep working hard and doing your best. I'll be with you every step of the way wether you like it or not! 
P.S Sorry I can't get all of the errors marked for you as i would like to do but can't as I have very limited free time.
6238990 Bah, thanks as always for informing me of the errors. I tried to skim over it myself before posting it, but being the one who originally wrote it, it's not surprising i missed things. D:
As for character development and keeping out of cliches, I don't think i've read enough FO:E fics to know what exactly is cliche. However, something that always bothered me about the Fallout games, at least Fallout 3, is that you are this sheltered vault dweller and once you exit you are basically god. My plan for Ratchet is to be unlike the Lone Wanderers from Fallout and slowly but surely adapt to the wasteland though her experiences.
And in regards to CORA, she is like a less emotional Ratchet, since she only recently began to develop emotions. Other than that, they are basically the same pony. In a way, it is kind of like she is talking to herself. However, since CORA was awake the 35 years Ratchet was asleep, she has had a lot of time to think.
I'm liking the turn this story has taken to include "true" steel rangers. It just opens so many options to an already growing list of plot devices.I also like the creativity you're showing by combing to ranks of steel rangers together. That's all I have for you this chapter.I hope everything is going well and continues to do so for you. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Yesssss another chapter! WOOT!
Ok, so this chapter sent me for a bit of a loop what with the upcoming battle, Ratchet's and Iron's past being revealed, and the foreshadowing of a named weapon ( yeah, I see what you're about to do 
). Overall the story is starting to build up a plotline, some interesting exploits feel like they are coming into play, and CORA is going to be livid about being muted( the foreshadowing with CORA's threat is brilliant). Well done good sir, well done. 
Moar
Shouldn't this just be he?
I think you mean she.
hide
Another interesting chapter. I can barely keep myself patient for the next chapter to come out.
6410581 Thanks as always!
But, like my note said at the bottom of Chapter 7, I don't have too much time to write atm. So, chapter 8 might be a ways down the road. :/
It's nice to see you taking some inspiration from fallout 4 for the power armor. I'm curious to find out who this mysterious red eyed pony is... anyway I had a suggestion that might help your work read better. Try to use words such as "we're", "they're", and "weren't". These can help your words to be read more fluently and make it less distracting for readers since they won't be switching "we are" for "we're" in their heads whilst reading your story. Another thing you might want to watch out for is tense shifting. You shouldn't switch between present and past tense in the middle of a sentence as it can ruin the immersion your story can create. Besides that your story is very enticing and I cannot wait to read more!
P.S. This was meant to be constructive criticism and was not meant to make you feel bad about your writing.
6793923 Yea, one of my worst habits is tense switching. XD
Just pulled the story up, haven't read a word.
Did you get anything from Ratchet and Clank? I'm seeing an inventive pony with what appears to be maybe an AI or a robot named CORA, or something. I dunno what it is. It looks cool, and I'll read it. Just wanted to know.
6895116 Nah, no inspiration pulled from there, unfortunately. My inspiration for the name Ratchet came from the head nurse of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. But the characters' personalities are completely different.
6896584 Whatever. That's fine.
6896584 Where can I read that story?
7069056 One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest? It is just an old book. I'm sure you could pick it up on Amazon, or some bookstore.
o
7223233 Thanks! I was trying to go for Ratchet not being a huge hero, but just someone who comes and pushes things along.
NICE WORK! But, I must say, it feels as though you just kinda forcefully ended it. Kinda.
Does Ratchet sound similar to Ratchet from Ratchet and Clank? If not, then what does she sound like?
7373158 I kind of think of her sounding like a sort of like...The English voice for Makise Kurisu form Steins;Gate. Of course, Ratchet is a lot less composed and easily frazzled. Towards the end though, I'd say she is a lot more like Makise, calm and calculating, for the most part.
Does she have a friend called Clank?
7458568 Oh yea. I just looked up how she died again. I completely forgot she died in Maripony. Well, maybe I'll rewrite that part to make it properly canon.
Okay, so far, this story looks interesting. I'm gonna read some more and see what it's like.
I saw the reference to the long winter and merchants of hope
Merchants of hhhhhhhhooooooopppppeeeeeeee
Well these last few chapters have been heartrenching.
That was, just... I am sad now... Great story.
I don't think four coats are enough
Gee. This was the most unique Fallout: Equestria story I've ever read. It felt longer than it really was. Might be the timeskips.
Dang that was an M. Night Shyamalan tier of a plot twist! Very nice and unique conclusion.
Yup and it is so fun to do them.
The plan can go wrong at anytime so be ready to make a new one on the fly.
p.s this before reading the chapter just thought I say that.
a good perk for her and her friends
Yes let's take the old world back and make it better!
Yes that is going to be fun
skip dirty one but nice chapter.
ALL HALE DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fallout 3 G.O.A.T anyone? And nice use of the G.O.A.T.
OK not see any of that comment
Love the ICP reference with Jay and Shaggy.