Subject Cygnus X-1: Jack

by XanaDurian

The Breaking of News

You walk with the Penicorn and Discord for awhile, quietly taking in the sights. From purple walls to green tinted windows, if it weren't for the fact that the Penicorn wasn't particularly threatening, you actually might've mistaken it for some sort of nefarious evil lair. To be fair, it doesn't look particularly terrible, but evil has never really been measured in aesthetic, now has it?

As you walk, you can hear the purple Penicorn and Discord talking in their strange language. You notice that the language seems vaguely similar to your own, but as it stands, you can't really understand what they're saying. 'It probably wouldn't be too hard to learn', you figure in your head.

"Whola toold jee doe kip pirr?" asks the Penicorn.

"Oonka fowlk juR, pirrz ulkala," responds Discord, "Thao hi Riln oonka toold juR."

Whatever conversation they're having, it doesn't seem to concern you, so you decide to ignore it in favour of trying to think of a way to get back home. From what you can gather, you just need to get struck by lightning and you'd be good. Only problem there being that you'd actually need to find a purple thundercloud to strike you, and then get it to strike you.

Yeah, not happening. Pretty stupid idea on your part.

But then the Penicorn, looking as cereal as Circle-Os, turned to you and asked, "Whola doe oonka lokla grro ote doe kip oonka?"

Now, you don't know much about this thing's language, but your pretty sure that that was a question. There were many options presented with you, but you go with the most obvious one.

"Hey Satan, what'd she say?"

"She asked what you wanted to be done with."

"Uh... send me home?"

Discord turns to Twilight and says, "JuR keesp juR laklaz ote balgarra molae."

And thus, the everything was awkward.

---

"He said he wants to go back home."

"Oh... there might be a problem with that..."

"A problem? My dear Twilight, dimensional travel is no problem at all! Just tell me where to drop him off and I can take him there myself."

Twilight looked at the floor guiltily as she collected her thoughts. It hadn't occurred to her that she would eventually have to send Jack back, and now that it had, the weight of what she had done suddenly hit her in the face like a brick made of lead. 'I really screwed up, didn't I?', she thought to herself as she realized that. infact, she had no idea where Jack had come from, and with the explosion of the mirror scorching the array, she wouldn't be able to find out. Twilight took a deep breath, and she tried talk in as steady a voice as she could.

"Uh... we don't actually know where exactly to take him. The mirror portal was destroyed when we brought him here, and it took the magical array with it, so..." Twilight trailed off, letting the implications of this statement speak for itself.

"Mmm, yes, that could be quite the problem, couldn't it? Never worry, I'm sure you can figure it out. When you find what to do with him, be sure to give me a call!"

And with that, Discord imploded. There was a rain of confetti, the roof turned black, and there was a pile of ash where Discord had stood.

Jake stared on, positively mortified.

---

'Well, that was a thing that happened.'

You, not being used to Discord's bullshit, are positively, absolutely, one-hundred percent, completely mortified. Your only means of reliable communication just imploded right in front of your face. Infact, if you hadn't known any better, you would've said that the universe is actively trying to fuck with you. Well, I'll have you know that I'm not! Just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean I'm only being a dick to you!

Anyways, Twilight looks like a combination of sad and annoyed. She turns to you and starts speaking in her native tongue, (not that you can understand it).

"Hi ak brrasha ifal Diskala'z alRa bantooka krroodka. JuR kat ba nandinka. Oonka kat ilt errzka molae, alla hi ak brrasha ifal shlath, blok hi mantak pirr whal ba vae yon idka ote tesheth oonka muz Shilka-Pon."

You have no idea what she just said aside from it involving Discord, so you just nod and hope that she takes it as a good thing. With your nod of uncertain confirmation, she seems to brighten up a bit, before a purples aura enshrouds your hand and you get pulled with her into the hallway and then the room across the hall.

This purple aura thing wouldn't be so much of a problem if it hadn't had the ability to take you around and move you without your will, consent, or really any prompt that it could. Now, since it is a problem, you take it upon yourself to faint, (once again), out of, if not shock, a bit of fear of the implications of this glowey thing. What else could it move? Why? How? To what ends?

These are the questions that would be going through your head, had you not fainted.

---

"Uh, Discord? Are you here? Please answer me..."

Fluttershy was currently walking through the hallway, (as established in the last chapter), looking for Discord, Twilight, and the alternate dimension thing. Fluttershy was abolutely lost, due in no small part to the fact that the only reason the hallway was straight before, was because of Discord. Now that he was, (supposedly), gone, his little joke can come into fruition. Whilst Fluttershy may have patience for this bullshit, it doesn't mean she has to like it.

'I swear, I just wanna rip out the throat of whoever designed this castle. Fuckin' magic boxes..."

No, she does not like it one bit.

And whilst she was having super amazing fun times with the maze that is Twilight's castle, the glue had dried on the ball of ponies from last chapter.

Oh there will be fun times to be had when I decide to write the next one.

Author's Note:

This chapter has been brought to you by The Cramps.

Comments

[XanaDurian]

Oh yeah, and in case anybody's wondering, the Character Tags are gonna be changing all the time because I never actually bothered to make a plot, so I"m just throwing whatever comes to mind in the chapter out and leaving it because fuck it.