Subject Cygnus X-1: Jack

by XanaDurian

The Walls Have Ears

You gotta pee.

It's become increasingly evident that wherever the Purple Penicorn is taking you is way too far away for your bladder. The hallway seems to just be repeating itself over and over. Even the Purple Penicorn seems confused by this. She looks suspicious of something, to. She's looking around for something, and from the way she's doing it, she ain't looking for the bathroom.

"Diskala! Hi nokiel oonka til thlaka!" it yells at what appears to be nothing.

"Talli! Hi ak kunrrulka oonka fowlk hi!" responds nothing.

And now you're confused. 'This place can talk? What the hell? Does that mean this place is alive? What?' you think, confused at the idea that this place that you've been in for the past *cough* minutes has been alive this whole time. Does that mean you're in some sort of stomach? But then why is it made of crystal? Aaaaand now your head hurts.

"Diskala, stathkal doela rra! Hi eelkath ote jez rra ote ja toleak!" responds the Penicorn.

And then, out of the wall, like the Kool-Aid Man on crack, comes crashing in the Devil himself, with tiny fireworks and an explosion of suspiciously yellow liquids.

And you still have to pee.

"Ala ooli e rra?" asks Satan.

"Pirr doke'lt nokiel Krrashilka." responds the Penicorn.

"No, but I can speak English!" answers Satan.

'What. What the fuck?' You are now seriously confused. Satan speaks English, (which, actually makes sense, now that you think about it), but it speaks Penicorn as well? And why is the Penicorn so calm around this LORD OF FUCKING EVIL!?

"So tell me about yourself, thing! I'm curious; just what are you?" asks Satan as he walks up to you. He looks down at you with a friendly smile as he stands in front of you.

And now's around the time you piss yourself.

---

Jack pissed himself in fear of the prince of darkness.

Twilight cringed at the look of fear and embarrassment on Jack's face.

Discord started laughing his ass off.

"Oh, I must say, Twlight: I think I like this one!" exclaims Discord. "It even has a water squirting feature! This one is going to be oodles of noodley fun! I can just tell!" Discord walks around Jack, examining him, cause some mild botherations to the already piss soaked and demeaned Jack.

"Discord! Do you realize how much you've scared it? It looks like it wants to die!" exclaims a certain yellow pegasus from the end of the now (relatively) regularly sized hallway. Fluttershy runs up to Jack and tries to comfort him, (to minum effect, since Jack doesn't speak Equuish).

"Oh, but Fluttershy! He could be so much fun!"

"No Discord, stop it."

"But-"

"No buts, mister. I want you to apologize to it right now."

"Oh, alright."

And all the while, Twilight had simply been looking on, still trying to figure out why Discord (apparently) new this creatures language. 'If Discord knows this thing's language, that means he can help translate! Oh! I can learn so much from this! An alien language, an alien culture! All this knowledge could be mine!'

"Discord," asks Twilight, "Could you help translate for me? I think we can get some communication going on here." Twilight paces up beside Discord as she says this, another thought coming to mind as she walked up.

"Oh, and where are the others?"

*SNAP*

*CRASH*

And then everyone fell out of the ceiling, covered in chocolate milk and glue.

"Well... alright then."

---

You stand there in an awkward state of confusion, embarrassment, fear, and annoyance at everything going on in this crystal hallway of explosive entities. If you had any sense in you at the moment, you probably would've run off, but with the spectacle of a unicorn, a pegasus, and two regular ponies exploding out of the ceiling covered in suspiciously sticky white and brown liquids seems to have you glued to the spot, and wondering just how freaky these ponies actually are.

You then notice that the fabled Pretty Purple Penicorn™ standing next to you. It opens it's mouth and begins to talk.

"Rraka, hinR man e Talli Shpijal. Oonka til a kalkee magla Lakdala-Pon," it says.

As she says this, Satan looks at you and adresses you. "She said 'Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle. You are in a country named Equestria."

The Penicorn addresses you again, "Rra e Diskala-" she gestures to Satan in front of you "-ala koonda-" she gestures to the sticky pile of bickering pony behind her, "- til hinR ponpon'z."

"She says, 'This is Discord and they are my friends.'" says the apparent Discord.

You decide to introduce yourself to her and her friends. "Hello, my names Jack, and I'm a human."

Discord translates to Twilight, and the three of you walk back to your room at Twilight's suggestion, leaving behind Fluttershy and the ball of sticky ponies.

---

"AJ, get off of me!"

"Yer on me, Dash!"

"Oh Celestia my mane!"

"Hey, this is pretty fun!"

The ball of ponies are currently trying to get unstuck from the glue and chocolate milk stuck all over them. They're not having much luck, but at least Pinkie's having fun.

"Uh, girls?"

"How'd we even get in this mess?"

"Ah haven't the faintest clue."

"Will somepony PLEASE unstick us so I can fix my mane!?"

"Girls..."

"Oh stop being a party pooper, Rarity!"

"Pinkie, this is an emergancy! Do you realize I could pull out all of my mane if this glue dries?!"

"Oh... yeah, that doesn't sound fun"

"Girls! I'm going to go find Discord to undo this! Don't kill each other... please?"

And with that, Fluttershy left to catch up with Discord.

Comments

[XanaDurian]

6135354

And yet I myself, creator of the language, still needs to use the little dictionary list to actually make sentences.

[XanaDurian]

6135354
6132263
6132748

In other news, go to this link over here for a more comprehensive list of Equistrian, because I couldn't be bothered to post it here.

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/513638/concerning-the-languages-of-equestrian-and-griffish